


The Hearts of The Past

by JadeMoon



Series: Hearts of the Past [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A HUGE THANK YOU TO BUSTYBARNES FOR HER ASSISTANCE WITH DEVELOPING THIS :), Angst, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Gen, If you're looking for a happy ending this isn't it, Love at First Sight, Memories, One-Sided Attraction, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Romance, Smut, Soulmates, Super Soldier Serum, Time Travel, Training, True Love, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, the past and the present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-10-13 00:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 80
Words: 112,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17478134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeMoon/pseuds/JadeMoon
Summary: Time traveling foray for our OC. She inadvertently goes back in time and meets pre-war Bucky and Steve, and promises her heart to Bucky. The future brings her back and her encounters with the Winter Soldier and SHIELD will alter her life forever.





	1. The dame of his dreams

 

**_Pre-War Bucky Meets The Girl Of His Dreams_ **

Bucky is walking around looking for Steve. The little punk vanished again. Buck’s been looking for him for over an hour at the Modern Marvel’s Pavillion where they were supposed to meet. 

”I am going to kick that kid’s ass,” Bucky mutters. He tucks his hat under his arm and smooths his hair. A couple of dames pass by him, giving him the eyes, showing off those gams. He grins and they blush. Maybe later he’ll find them again. Right now he’s got to find Steve.

He’s looking at a display when he sees a dame running full throttle towards him. She’s not looking at him, but someone behind her. She crashes into him hard enough that she bounces off of his body and he has to catch her to keep her upright.

“Hey, easy, doll. Easy. Where’s the fire?” he asks smoothly. She’s startled and blinks a few times. He puts an arm around her to hold her close and takes one of her hands to hold. He gives her his best smile, which has the delightful effect of confusing her that much more. 

“It’s you,” she finally says. Her eyes darken and she shakes her head.

“I don’t think we’ve met, doll,” he says gently. She’s a goddamn knockout. Hair that’s so dark that the red only catches the light here and there, stormy eyes under dark long lashes, pink lips just this side of pale…

“N-no. No, we haven’t,” she says quietly. She’s less confused now seemingly. 

“Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes at your service, beautiful. But you can call me Bucky,” he says laying on the charm. He takes the hand he’s been holding and kisses her fingers. Now she smiles and look! He got her to blush. Nice. 

The momentary distraction he presented to her ends and she looks over her shoulder in haste again.

“Some gorilla bothering you, doll? Need me to put him in his place?” It’s a genuine offer. He may be doing the wooing here, but she’s doing a number on him just being in his arms. 

“No. No, I’m alright for the moment,” she says looking back at him. She smiles warmly and his heart beats a little faster. 

“This is a very interesting getup, doll. You part of the show?” he asks. He’s looking at the denim jacket, and this dress she’s wearing that dips down low enough that you can see skin, but no cleavage, it stops just above the knee, dark green in color and boots that come to just below her knees. The boots throw him right out into left field. She takes a partial step back to look at herself, but he doesn’t let her go. 

“Sure, let’s go with that,” she says quickly. 

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks her again. He feels like he needs to stay with her. She laughs lightly.

“I am, Sergeant Barnes -”

“Bucky,” he corrects her. “What’s your name?”

“Ciara.”

“Not too often pretty dames have even prettier names,” he says and grins. She’s blushing again.

“Those are some good lines you’ve got,” she teases. He laughs. 

“Yeah? Are they working?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hmm. How about we walk around this thing together and you tell me when they start working?” he offers. This amuses her and he realizes he’s in over his head and right before he’s due to get shipped out. 

“Sure. This should be interesting.”

They walk around for the Pavilion and beyond together, Bucky keeping his arm around her when she’s looking at something otherwise they’re arm in arm. They watch Howard Stark show off his flying automobile. They see other fantastic things, but she doesn’t seem as impressed as he is. When he looks at her she gives him this beautiful smile and he melts. 

After a couple of hours they end up at a stretch of the fair that is mostly deserted. She’s got her head on his shoulder as they walk. He’s going to make her his girl. No question about it. 

They stop and look at the sun as it starts its descent into the West. Bucky runs his fingers through her hair. She’s not like other dames he’s come across. She’s smart, well spoken, fierce, and she’s got this smartass wit to her that he finds amusing. 

“You’re beautiful. You know that?” he asks and then smiles. She laughs a little. 

“I still think you’re throwing lines,” she teases. He nods his head. There’s no way she’ll think this is a line. He lifts her chin, tilts his head and kisses her. She freezes up, but then yields to him. He stops and looks in her eyes. 

“Bucky,” she whispers. He kisses her again, deeper this time. She doesn’t back down, kissing him back, putting her arms around him. Again they kiss, longer, deeper, the passion building with each second. He looks at her and sees the fire burning in her eyes. He looks around. 

“Changing stations.” He doesn’t ask anything else, just points to them. She nods, picking up on his intent. She’s definitely not like other girls. They find one and step inside. It’s a room with a wall mirror, counter, and red velvet chaise lounge. He shuts and locks the door behind them. He takes her hands and kisses her fingers, looking in her eyes for any indication she’s not willing to go any further. He sees only that fire. He pulls her closer and kisses her again, sliding his hands down over her hips to her legs and then up under the dress. She’s not wearing stockings. Goddammit, she’s not wearing stockings and her legs are soft and smooth and he’s about to explode. 

“You’ll ruin that gorgeous uniform if you’re not careful,” she warns. 

“Then let’s make sure that doesn’t happen,” he says taking off the jacket. She turns around for a moment, he’s perplexed by this, but he sees her stuff something in her hand into the denim jacket pocket. She turns around again and pulls the jacket off. The dress is sleeveless. He needs to kiss her again and somehow get them both out of their clothes. He pulls her closer, chasing after her lips with his and trying to figure out how to get her dress off while she brazenly goes after the belt on his pants. He figures it out and she steps out of the dress, takes off her boots and socks (again perplexing him to no end) and stands there in the hottest looking get up he’s seen in years. Black bra that’s rounded and conforms to her lush breasts, panties that sit low on her hips and expose all of her thigh. 

He strips off the rest of his clothes in haste, picks her up and lays her down on the chaise, kissing her continually as she works those panties off. 

“Ciara…” he wants this to be right for her, regardless of how badly he needs her. She responds by pushing herself up and rearranging their positions so he’s sitting on the chaise with her in his lap. She helps him find his way into her and Bucky shows her how good a man should be with his girl. 

They finish and lay in each other's arms, content for the moment. She has her head on his chest, her fingers running lightly over his arm. He kisses her temple and she leans her head back to look in his eyes. Her smile melts him all over again. 

“I love you,” he says quietly. “I mean that, Ciara. I want us to get married when I get back.”

She looks at him in astonishment. Her brow wrinkles and she drops her eyes. 

“I think you were supposed to propose  _ before  _ I agreed to fool around with you to coerce me into doing so.”

“I'm being serious, Ciara. Marry me. We'll get married as soon as I can take leave,” he says adamantly. He rolls himself so that he's partially on top of her and caresses her face. “I love you. I want to marry you. I want to come home to you and only you.”

Her stormy eyes soften, and he sees what he hopes is the same love that he feels for her. 

“Bucky…I don't know what to say.”

“Say yes,” he whispers as he runs his fingers through her hair. “Say yes and I promise you I'll love you for eternity.”

She’s quiet. He can see she’s chewing on this in her head. 

“You don’t know me.”

“I know how I feel. I know every second I’ve spent with you has filled a hole in my heart I didn’t know I had. I know when I look at you I see our future together. I know I have never felt like this for anyone ever. I know I love you.”

He sits up and undoes the chain that his dog tags are attached to and pulls one off. 

“Hold onto this,” he says handing her one of the tags. “When I get back you and I will exchange that for a ring.”

She runs her thumb over the letters on the tag, her stormy eyes are darker now as she looks at his dog tag. He runs his thumb over her lower lip and she looks up at him. 

“No lines, beautiful. I want you to marry me.”

She looks back at the dog tag for a moment then back at him, there are tears in her eyes. She nods her head. He wipes her tears and kisses her. She pulls him closer and hugs him tightly. 

“Say it, doll. Let me hear you say it,” he whispers in her ear. He needs to hear her say she feels the same, that this isn’t something one-sided, and that he’s not losing his goddamn mind. This isn’t a whirlwind romance, he’s convinced she’s his soulmate.

She lets him go and puts her hand on his face. Her hands are soft and warm. He leans into her touch and closes his eyes. 

“I love you, James Barnes.”

Her voice is so soft it’s nothing more than a breathless whisper. He opens his eyes and looks into hers. They shine like distant stars. He kisses her, he feels her fingers in his hair pulling him closer to her again. He feels her open herself to him and he willingly obliges her, sinking himself into her sweetness one more time.

They finish up just as someone starts knocking on the door. 

“Shit,” Bucky hisses. “Get your clothes, doll,” he whispers to her. His priority is to make sure whoever this jerk is that’s knocking that he doesn’t try to come in and see his future wife naked. He sees her getting dressed quickly, the pangs of disappointment hitting him as she covers her body with her clothes. He gets dressed quickly himself. He’s all but finished when the knocking comes again.

“Who’s in there?” 

“Never mind!” Bucky yells. Ciara is fixing his tie. He gives her his best smile and puts his arms around her as she finishes up. 

“I mean it, beautiful, you hold that dog tag till I get back and we’ll go get you the prettiest goddamn ring ever,” Bucky promises.

She looks down from him and he lifts her chin. He tilts his head and grins playfully. She smiles, which makes him happy. 

“You really want to marry some random chick you just met?” She asks.

“Not into chicks or chickens like that, so no,” he responds with a smirk. “But a beautiful dame like you with eyes like stars, you’re damn right I want to marry you.”

She puckers her lips and nods her head. He can see she’s trying not to laugh. 

The knocking starts again. Bucky glares at the door. 

“We need to go before they kick the door in,” she tells him. He kisses her and smiles. She laughs a little, her eyes sparkle and she smiles back. 

Bucky throws open the door and stares down the guy who was so adamant about coming in. 

“Sorry, mister. Didn’t realize you were in there,” the guy says quickly. 

“I told you I was in there. How about you step back so I can leave,” Bucky says curtly. The guy immediately backs off. Bucky turns around and extends his hand to Ciara and gives her a big smile. She takes his hand and he pulls her out of the dressing room and into his arms.

“I leave in a few days. I don’t know when I’ll be granted leave, but I will come back for you, Ciara. I am going to marry you. Will you wait for me, beautiful?” he asks. He caresses her cheek and looks deep into her eyes. 

“I will,” she says softly.

“Come back here and wait for me. Once a month, on the fifteenth of every month. I’ll find you here. When I’m granted leave this will be the first place I run to when I get back and I’ll look for you, beautiful. And when I get back, make sure you have a dress picked out and we’ll make it official before I have to ship out again.”

“Your pick up lines are getting better.”

This makes him smile and chuckle.

“Yeah?”

“They finally worked,” she says with a small laugh. He kisses her lovingly. 

“Come on, I want you to meet a really good friend of mine. Provide we can find the punk,” he tells her. 

“Alright.”

They walk, arm in arm, back toward the bustling Pavillion. Bucky keeps his eye out for Steve. Ciara is distracted occasionally by whatever is in her pocket. 

“Buck!”

Bucky stops and looks in the direction of Steve’s voice. He sees Steve trying to get around the throngs of people. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Bucky demands. Steve gives him that “don’t treat me like a baby” look.  Steve sees Ciara and his eyes widen. Bucky grins. He sees Ciara smile warmly at Steve and Steve turns red. 

“I’ve been at the recruitment office,” Steve says absently. “Hi, I’m Steve,” he says extending his hand to her. 

“Hi, Steve.”

“This is Ciara or the soon to be Mrs. Barnes,” Bucky says proudly. Ciara smiles more and shakes her head.

“Are you serious?” Steve squeaks. Bucky nods and kisses Ciara’s cheek.

“Yeah. And why do you keep going to the recruitment centers -”

“Because I want to do my part,” Steve says cutting him off. 

“Look, we’ve been through this, Steve. Do your part here at home. Stay safe. Protect Ciara for me.”

This earns him a look from both Steve and Ciara. 

“Bucky,” Ciara says putting her hands on his chest. She presses her lips where his jaw hinges making him feel lightheaded. “Don’t fight with him.”

“Listen to her. She’s obviously smarter than you are,” Steve quips. 

“Oh, you’re a wiseass now, huh?” Bucky asks Steve. Steve shrugs. Bucky sees Ciara try and hide the smirk on her face. The smirk fades when they hear something beeping. It’s coming from Ciara’s jacket pocket. She steps back from Bucky, but he only lets her go so far. 

“Ciara?” Bucky tries to see what's in her pocket that she's now looking at. 

“I have to go, Bucky. I love you. Don't ever forget that,” she says as she gazes into his eyes. She kisses him and Bucky's heart starts to ache. 

“I love you, doll. I'll find you. I'll come back for you. I promise.” 

She smiles faintly and looks at Steve. 

“Don't give up,” she tells him as she runs her fingers over Steve's jaw. Steve blushes furiously. She turns her attention back to Bucky. He's suddenly afraid to let her go. 

“Wait for me. I will come back for you. I promise,” he says determinedly. He sees a flood of emotions in her eyes. 

“I have to go,” she says once more, and then adds, “don't go on the train, Bucky.” 

She kisses Bucky once more and then dashes off. She's out of his sight in a matter of moments. 

“What train?“ Steve asks after several minutes. 

  
  



	2. Fatal Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four friends go snooping around a government installation and pay the price in spades. This is Ciara's indoctrination to a section of SHIELD that is "off the record".

**_Fatal Mistakes_ **

It had been Hattie’s idea to go spy on the empty warehouse that was now bustling with life. Why they had agreed to do so, even after she’d told them it was filled to the brim with military personnel and equipment remains a mystery. 

They had snuck into the woods, followed a path only Hattie seemed aware of till they were at the edge of the treeline and hidden behind the brush at the edge. 

Hattie wasn’t kidding. The old warehouse was more alive now that it seemingly ever had been. The number of cables, wires, electronics, generators going in and out of the warehouse makes it look like Frankenstein’s monster is on the agenda for the evening. 

“What are they doing?”

“This is the most active it’s been since I first saw them come here. They completely gutted the inside for whatever it is they’re doing,” Hattie says.

“Quiet!” Gabe hisses and points to the perimeter cameras. They can see the cameras posted at strategic points like lidless eyes. 

They snake along the treeline silently trying to see more. 

They stop further down where the heart of the activity seems to be. There are countless armed guards moving about, large automatic rifles drawn and at the ready.

“What the hell are they doing?” Hattie whispers. “What are they guarding?”

Before anyone can answer the sound of the safety being switched off on at least two different weapons. 

“Don’t fucking move,” a menacing voice warns. 

Hattie, Gabe, Michael and Ciara all freeze. They are roughly pulled to their feet. Hattie and Michael bolt, making a break for the forest. Gabe and Ciara watch in horror as their friends are gunned down with extreme prejudice. Gabe and Ciara scream for their friends. 

“Quiet or you’ll end up in a nameless body bag like your friends!”

Gabe and Ciara stifle their screams, muffling them to frightened whimpers. 

“You’re going to find this little trip of your very ill-advised. Move them to quarantine.”

Gabe and Ciara are shoved towards the fence, the guns pointed between their shoulder blades to keep them moving. 

Once inside the building, they are greeted by more guards and several others. They’re separated and dragged off to different areas of the warehouse where they are stripped completely and their belongings searched. They were each locked in a holding room, naked with nothing to cover themselves and no hope of getting out. 

Hours later more military show up, four of them enter each room. Gabe and Ciara are bound to a chair and interrogated for hours about what they saw, what they know, who sent them, who they are, who they work for...the list goes on and on. No food, no water, no breaks from the onslaught of questions. The answers Gabe and Ciara gave never wavered, never changed, but still, it continued. They finally seem satisfied with the answers Gabe and Ciara have provided and leave them bound to the chairs and still no water or food. 

More time passes. Ciara and Gabe are exhausted, dehydrated and humiliated. Neither knows what has happened to the other, and neither knows if the other is still alive. 


	3. Choose Your Path Wisely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara meets the man in charge of the military installation and he's no one to fuck with.

**_Choose Wisely_ **

 

Ciara sits shivering in the chair. She’s cold, tired, her head is pounding, two of her friends are dead and the other is missing. No one knows where they are. No one saw them come here and in the case of Hattie and Michael, no one will ever see them again. 

A lean looking man in yet another type of uniform she doesn’t recognize comes in carrying a laptop followed by two armed guards. 

“Get her some clothes. We aren’t savages,” the lean man orders. One of the armed guards backs up a step to the door, opens it just enough to say something to the person on the other side, then closes it again, all while never taking his eyes of Ciara. 

The lean man sits at the small table in the room and acts like Ciara isn’t there, typing away on the laptop like this is his only concern. Ciara just wants to pass out. She wants to close her eyes and make this nightmare end. 

There’s a knock at the door and one of the guards opens it just enough to be passed a bundle of something. 

“Put it on the table. Release her,” the lean man orders without looking up from the laptop. The guards don’t move. Now the lean man looks up and he looks pissed.

“I gave you an order. Do it,” the lean man states coldly. The guard carries the bundle to the table and drops it in front of Ciara. He walks behind her and she feels her restraints cut away. She nearly topples out of the chair. The guard that cut her loose snickers. 

“Enough of that. If you can’t make yourself useful in here, go and get her water and an MRE.”

“I’m not here to serve naked prisoners -”

“Go or you’ll find yourself at the end of a very short rope,” the lean man threatens. This has the desired effect and the guard retreats from the room. 

“You, get dressed,” the lean man says addressing Ciara. “You, follow me,” he says addressing the remaining guard. 

“Your laptop, sir.”

“If she’s smart she’ll put those clothes on and park her ass back in that chair,” the lean man states. He exits the room followed by the guard. Ciara pulls the bundle towards her and unwraps it. It looks like standard issue shit these guys are wearing: cargo pants, a plain tee shirt, socks, full figure brief underwear, boots, a plain sports bra, a plain zippered jacket. Nothing to clean herself up with, nothing to drink, nothing for a headache the size of Mars…

She gets dressed as quickly as she can, which in her condition equates to not at all fast. She’s thankful for the clothes, though, since she won’t be forced to sit in this icebox naked and shivering any longer. She wonders what they’re going to do with her, what happened to Gabe, why they’re giving her clothes and that man ordered the guard to get her water and an MRE. What the hell is an MRE?

The guard opens the door just as she pulls the tee shirt on and is followed in by the lean man and the other guard who is carrying a bottle of water styrofoam tray with what looks like reheated dog chow on it. The guard drops the tray in front of her on the table, sending bits of the kibble flying onto the table. This earns him a scathing look from the lean man, who snatches the water bottle from the guard and puts it on the table. 

“I will deal with you later,” the lean man states in a very low tone. Ciara wonders if the guard is now in deeper shit than she is. 

“You have no authority -”

“Out.” 

The lean man keeps that same low tone but the undercurrent of violence is so prevalent that the guard cringes and backs off and then exits the room. 

“You, out. Watch the door.”

“Sir, we are under orders to stay with -”

“You have new orders. Outside the door until you are summoned.”

This guard is a little more intelligent and exits the room without another word. 

“Now, then,” the lean man says taking a seat across from Ciara, “have something to drink. Eat something. Then we’ll talk.”

“Who are you?” Ciara rasps. Her mouth and throat are so dry she can barely speak.

“Drink. Eat. Then talk. Do as you’re told and you may yet survive.”

The candid manner in which the threat was delivered chills Ciara to the bone. She opens the water and takes a sip, then chugs the rest greedily. The lean man watches with a face made of stone. 

“Eat,” he orders. Ciara doesn’t know what else to do. Dying in the same cruel manner Hattie and Michael did scares her to no end. She tries three times to get a bite of the gravy train looking shit onto a spoon and into her mouth because her hands are shaking so badly. 

She eats as much as her stomach will allow her given the circumstances and the lean man seems somewhat satisfied. He looks at the laptop and then at Ciara.

“Ciara Grace Sorono. No family. Three prior arrests for burglary, shoplifting, and stealing. Spent time in and out of juvenile facilities for those crimes. Most recently has been arrested twice and found guilty once on hacking charges, found guilty once for conspiracy to commit a cybercrime, found not guilty five times for conspiracy to commit a cybercrime.” He seems impressed by the last bit he reads out loud. Ciara wants to know what the hell this has to do with them keeping her captive.

“Let’s see here...oh yes, should an aptitude for electronics and their parts in high school. College showed an aptitude for assembling computer parts into functioning high-end machines….” The lean man strokes his chin as he continues to read whatever is on that screen. 

“Kicked out of two different colleges when it was discovered you were manipulating their servers and data feed. I’d say you’ve been lucky to this point. This is where your luck has run out,” he says snapping the laptop closed. 

Ciara says nothing. If there’s one thing she’s learned from all the court ordered defense attorneys she’s dealt with it’s to keep her mouth shut. Don’t say anything that may give away anything, even if it doesn’t seem relevant to the situation.

The lean man studies her for a few moments. 

“Wise decision to say nothing. You’re less likely to be a liability this way. Especially since there is no one that would come looking for you should you disappear.”

He’s got that menacing tone again. Ciara can’t hide the fact that she’s beyond terrified. He smiles cruelly.

“This is where you make a choice. Given your skills and your very poor record with local law enforcement, you have two choices. Either you put this skill set that you’ve acquired to use here with us or you disappear along with your friends.”

“Where is Gabe?” she finally manages to ask. 

“Ah, yes. Gabriel Matthew Townsend has been turned over to the proper authorities. You won’t have the same luxury.”

Her choices are join them or die. 

“I don’t seem to have a choice if I want to live,” she concedes. 

“Clever girl. I think you’ll find this to be a generous offer. However, should you decide to try to run, the consequences will be dire for you.”

“You’ll kill me.”

“Oh no. No, you had that choice a minute ago. No, when you are caught I assure you that you will beg for death.”

Ciara can only sit in fear and hope that she’s made the right choice. 

  
  



	4. Winter Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Ciara's first encounter with the Winter Soldier and prior to her going back in time to meet the man he used to be.

**_Ciara’s First Encounter with Winter_ **

It’s been six months since Ciara made her fateful choice. She’s now a member of a covert government agency and her previous life and persona have all but disappeared. They have her working with their scientists on something that they refuse to declassify to her, only using code words and project anagrams when she’s around, but she’s supposed to piece together what they cannot. Smartest motherfuckers in the room and they come running to someone who is less than half their ages in most cases. At least she’s alive. 

Tonight is no different. They’ve been staring at the whiteboard for hours trying to piece together this latest portion of what the fuck ever this outfit is working on and trying to figure out why it won’t connect to the piece that is supposed to power it. Ciara had asked once what the power piece is made of so that maybe she can figure out why this piece won’t connect. She was shut down and told that was beyond her clearance. It wasn’t worded as nicely as that, though. 

She rubs her eyes and looks at the whiteboard again. It’s all starting to blur together because she’s so fucking tired. She puts her head down for just a second and all hell breaks loose suddenly. 

Alarms are blaring and there are guards rushing everywhere. The sound of gunshots can be heard above everything else now. Everyone in the room is scrambling to erase everything and hide any documentation. Ciara is shoved towards the door in haste as the scientists push past her to find safety, leaving her in their dust. She’s alone in the corridor. Or so she thought. 

She hears heavy footfalls approaching. They echo in the empty corridor making it damn near impossible to tell which direction they’re coming from. She takes a chance and runs hoping she doesn’t cross paths with whoever this is. She tries the first door she comes to hoping to hide. The door is locked, and the footfalls are getting closer by the second. She runs faster but the footfalls are gaining. There’s no place to go, the warehouse deadends just beyond the next corner. She chances a look back and is horrified to see what’s chasing her. 

A man with ice blue eyes, dark hair and a metal arm is closing in on her. In her effort to see who was chasing her she misjudged the corner and crashes into the wall. He catches her easily and pins her to the wall by her throat with his metal arm. She can’t breathe and struggles to pry his fingers from her windpipe. He says nothing, the partial face mask covers everything below his eyes making it impossible to read what he may be thinking. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes. She’s nearly out of air and on the verge of passing out. She sees a flash of something in his eyes. He releases her and stalks off. Ciara slumps to the floor coughing. 

Later that night after the warehouse is on full lockdown and on high alert she hears whispers about something called Hydra and their killing machine the Winter Soldier. Three of the scientists were slain tonight. By him. Seven of the armed military guards were killed, also by him. Anyone who crossed his path had ended up dead. Except for her. He had let her go, but not without doing some damage to her throat. The bruising is evident, her inability to talk or swallow solid foods also very evident. 

The remaining scientists are relocated along with Ciara to a different facility early the next morning. They are locked in windowless vehicles and ordered to sit quietly. There is no verbal threat of harm made, but it is implied. 

They arrive late that night to their new destination. Things are unloaded and they are shoved into their new dorm rooms. Ciara doesn’t sleep that night. Or the next. Or the following. 

By the fourth day, her need to know who the hell that man was is at a fever pitch. If he let her go as a fluke if he didn’t realize she was part of whatever this was when he first attacked, odds are he won’t make the same mistake twice. She lets her morbid curiosity get the best of her and she does something she knows may very well get her severely injured or worse. She steals a laptop from storage, finds a secluded nesting spot and hacks into the system key and then the database. The world is at her fingertips for a few fleeting moments. She makes the most of it and searches for Codename: Winter Soldier. 

 


	5. Enter the Archer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has been called in on security detail.

**_Enter the Archer_ **

Later that evening Ciara goes to replace the laptop she’d “borrowed” to do her research. She’s avoided every one up to this point, which has been easy considering they’re setting things back up and she hasn’t been summoned for yet. Not that she’s aware of at least.

She dips into the storage room and puts the laptop back where she found it. She’s home free.

“You do know that stealing is strictly prohibited here.”

Ciara freezes just as she was about to set foot outside of the storage room. She looks in the direction of the voice. She can barely make out his silhouette. He steps into the light a little. He’s not dressed like anyone she’s seen since being indoctrinated into this screwball organization. He smiles playfully at her.

“Who the hell are you?” she asks warily.

“Who do I look like?” he asks in a tone as playful as his smile.

“Like a goth band Robin Hood,” she replies. She's hoping his smile and tone aren't hiding some sinister intent for her.

“Well, that must be who I am. A goth band Robin Hood.”

Ciara isn’t sure who this guy is supposed to be, what he’s doing in the storage room or why he’s so goddamn happy.

“What are you going to do?” she asks. She’s hoping her question is ambiguous enough that it doesn’t make her sound guilty.

“Nothing. So, long as the next time you need something you ask.”

“Who’s to say I didn’t?” she counters.

He nods and purses his lips.

“Since we both know you didn’t and we both know you’re here because the alternative wasn’t very appealing…”

The fun and games appear to be over.

“Relax,” he says holding up his hands. “I’m not you’re enemy,” he says taking her chin between his index finger and thumb and moving her head to the left and to the right. He’s looking at the bruising on her neck. He says nothing about it, just lets her go.

“Get out of here before someone sees you,” he says pointing to the hall. Ciara takes advantage of the generous gift and runs.

Later that night she’s collected from her cell of a room and escorted to a new area where the scientists were now gathered. The formulas were being rewritten on a blackboard now, there were gadgets and pieces strewn all over tables, copper wiring, gold filament, silver casing were strewn everywhere.

“Stay out of the way till you’re needed,” one of the scientists snaps at her. Ciara shrugs and takes a seat at one of the tables that has the gadgetry strewn all over it. She looks at the chalkboard. They fucked up their formulas. Somebody forgot something somewhere, but she can’t place what it was that is missing.

“Does that shit make any sense to you?”

Ciara jumps and feels a hand on her arm. The Archer has returned. She must have been so wrapped up in trying to figure out what was missing she didn’t notice him standing next to her.

“Are you always this sneaky or is it just a parlor trick you use to watch me jump?” she asks.

“Both. Maybe. If you’d been paying attention you would have seen me when you were escorted in.”

His hand is still on her arm, but she sees him monitoring their surroundings.

“You’re here because of what happened at the warehouse?” she quietly asks.

He nods.

“The question is - why are you here?” he asks and then walks away. Ciara doesn’t have that answer either. The scientists start to bicker among themselves which distracts her from seeing where the Archer is going. When she looks back he’s gone. This shit just keeps getting more and more weird.

She goes back to looking at the chalkboard. It’s bothering her that there’s a piece missing but she can’t figure out what it is. She absently begins to pick up the gadgets and tries to piece them together like a puzzle as she wracks her brain over the whiteboard image from her memory trying to remember how it looked in comparison to this blackboard.

She gets bored after a while and gets up to stretch. So long as she stays within the confines of the area she should be okay. That’s how it was at the warehouse at least. The scientists are more heavily guarded this time, the armed soldiers are posted all over. Doors, stairs, walkways...she’s sure if she looked up she’d see them dangling from the ceiling by bungee cords.

“Don’t wander off and give these trigger happy jackasses a reason to shoot you.”

“Goddammit! Knock it off!” She snaps. Some of the guards turn their attention to her and she gets a seething look of hatred from the head scientist. Archer is a little startled by her outburst, but he’s mostly amused based on the shit eating grin on his face.

“You’re a live one,” he chuckles. “Quiet down before they decide to remove you.”

“You’re a prick.”

“I have one if that’s what you’re referring to.”

Ciara opens her mouth to retaliate and ends up laughing because this has to be the stupidest conversation she’s had since being drafted by this outfit. He’s equally amused, smiling arrogantly as he folds his arms over his chest.

They stay quiet for a little bit, Ciara watching the scientists continue to argue over the blackboard, Archer watching everything. Ciara diverts her attention from the scientists to watching Archer. His eyes are constantly moving while the rest of him remains still.

“See something that sparks your interest?” he says with a huge smirk. Ciara wants to punch him, but she can’t because she’ll get killed and also because this is the most she’s smiled in the last six months.

“Want me to stroke your ego and say yes?” she fires back. Now his concentration breaks, his lips form an _O_ and he shakes his head trying to stifle his laughter.

“You’re a brat.”

“Is that the best you can do?”

“Are you issuing a challenge?” he asks, puffing out his chest a little. She has to bite her lips to keep from cracking up laughing. He looks like a bullfrog.

“Shhh,” he hisses while he tries to keep his own composure.

“This is your fault,” she whispers harshly to him. He’s going to get her killed with his goddamn standup comic routine here.

“Not true. I’ll be back later,” he tells her. He brushes his arm against hers intentionally and walks off. She can’t help but wonder who the hell this guy is and why he doesn’t blend in with the rest of these assholes.

She goes back to the table and looks at the blackboard. They’ve erased and rewrote a good chunk of what was on there originally, but there is even more missing now.

“What did you do? What is this? Who told you to touch any of this?” the lead scientist demands as he picks up the pieces that Ciara assembled on the table. Ciara looks at him evenly and says nothing.

“You stared at that whiteboard for weeks. Do you remember anything?” one of the other scientists asks Ciara.

“Of course she doesn’t. Look at her. She’s just barely functioning as a human being,” the lead scientist rants. “I’m surprised she has enough brain cells to remember how to breathe.”

The other scientist blinks stunned by the lead scientist’s rude outburst. Ciara makes sure she doesn’t give that fuck any indication he’s getting to her. Why give him the satisfaction? Besides, he’s the one that has their equations all jacked up on the blackboard right now.

They go back to fuming at each other about their mess on the board, which then turns into finger pointing about the mess on the board. Ciara can’t concentrate on the board because they keep spinning it around on its wheels and wiping pieces of the writing off each time they yell. She gets up again to find someplace a little quieter. She heads towards the stairs and the walkway that overlooks the rest of the area. The guards eye her menacingly as she squeezes past them. She finds an empty section of the walkway and sits down far enough from the edge of the walkway that she can see the floor but not have her legs dangle over the edge. From here she can see all the movement on the floor below her, save for what is directly underneath her.

“Whatcha doing, kitty cat?”

“Do you sneak up on everyone like this or have I lost the lottery with you?” Ciara asks pressing her hand over her heart to try and keep it from beating out of her chest. He laughs quietly.

“Not everyone. How do you know you didn’t win the lottery?”

Ciara shakes her head. He’s an asshole.

“Kitty cat?” she asks. He sits next to her and hands her a bottle of water.

“They frown on using legal names,” he says. He’s watching what’s going on down below. The scientists are now yelling at each other, blaming each other for everything except the assassination of President Lincoln. They stop arguing suddenly and become morbidly silent. Ciara sees why. The lean man has entered the room. She scoots back further into the shadows until she’s against the wall with no place else to go. If there is one person she’s deathly afraid of it’s the lean man.

She sees Archer looking from her to the lean man and back.

“Stay here,” he instructs. Ciara is only vaguely aware he’s left her. She’s watching the lean man have a discussion with the scientists, all of which look like they’re about to piss themselves. The lead scientist points to Ciara’s location and the lean man turns his attention to where she is sitting, his icy gaze finding her. He tilts his head slightly and points to right in front of where he’s standing. He wants Ciara front and center.

Ciara takes a deep breath and walks down to the main floor where the lean man stands.

“Perched on high like a queen, are we?” the lean man asks.

“Your lab pets view her as a distraction. I had her move up there where she’d still be within reach should they decide they need her.”

The lean man turns his head just enough to look at the Archer. The Archer doesn’t seem phased by the lean man. Clearly, he doesn’t harbor any fear of the man.

“I see.”

That’s all the lean man says before turning back to the scientists. Archer looks at Ciara and glances up at the walkway then back at her. She gets the drift and forces herself to walk back to her previous hiding spot.

She finds her spot and sits quietly in the shadows. Archer doesn’t return the rest of the night. Ciara is left to stare at the blackboard and try to discern what is missing.


	6. Falling From Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is a POW holding onto the memory of his heart and soul.

**_Falling From Grace_ **

It’s 1943. Bucky is being held prisoner along with other Allied soldiers by a faction of the Nazis. There is no hope of escape. Those who have tried have been tortured until they succumbed to sweet death. 

Bucky’s only solace has been knowing Steve is safe in the States along with Ciara and thinking of Ciara. He preoccupies his mind with the memory of her body, the way she felt, the way she laughed, the way she smiled. He makes himself remember her eyes when they made love and how good she felt. He remembers his promise to her that he would come home and they would get married. He plans on keeping that promise. He loves her more than life. He will survive this. The Allies will come and Bucky will make sure Hellfire reigns down on these fucks, but when that’s over he will request leave and he will go home and he will find Ciara and they will start a family. 

This last part makes him smile despite his surroundings. He wonders if he left something in her, something that right now is growing inside her. A baby boy, a son. His heart swells at the idea. He could be a father. By the time he gets back, there could be a little boy with Ciara’s eyes and Bucky’s rugged good looks. 

“What has you smiling like that, mate? You lost your beans?” 

“Thinking of my girl,” Bucky answers. “We’re getting married when I get back.”

“Yeah. I got a missus already at home and three little ankle biters. Can’t wait to get home to ‘em. Never thought I’d miss them so much.”

“I’m hoping to have some. Maybe when I get back she’ll have a surprise for me,” Bucky says dreamily. This makes his conversation partner chuckle.

“Left a lil’ something behind in her, did ya’?”

“Promised that dame I would marry her and I damn well mean to,” Bucky vows. 

He hears footsteps and everyone goes quiet. The SS soldiers are coming to take someone else to experiment on. They stop at Bucky’s cage.

“This one. Take him to the lab,” a round, mousy looking man in glasses orders in a thick German accent. They take aim at Bucky, another man steps up and unlocks the cage and drags him out. They beat him till he’s barely able to walk and then force him to do just that as they escort him to the lab. 

Bucky is barely able to fight off the blackness that is trying to consume him. He can barely keep his eyes open because of the pain. They force him onto a lab table and strap him down. He’s doused with cold water to keep him awake. All he can think about is Steve and Ciara. They’re safe. He will gladly die here and now if it means they both remain that way. 

“Stay awake,” the round mouse of a man tells him. He pulls Bucky’s dog tags up and looks at them. “Ah, Sergeant James Barnes. An American. How novel. Keep him awake till I come back,” the mouse-man orders his subordinates. Bucky gets slapped, punched and doused with more icy water till he’s choking and sputtering on a combination of his own blood and vile water. 

“Now, Sergeant Barnes, let us see if you respond better than your friends have,” the mouse-man taunts him. Bucky feels something akin to liquid fire being injected into his veins, searing pain so bad he can’t fight it and the blackness consumes him. 

“Buck! Buck!”

Bucky opens his eyes slowly. He thinks he’s seeing Steve, but it’s not the Steve he remembers. This one is different. He closes his eyes again. He must be dreaming…

“BUCK!”

Bucky’s eyes fly open. It’s Steve and he’s about a half inch from Bucky’s face. 

“Steve?”

“Come on, man! Get up! We’ve got to go!” Steve yells. He’s ripping the restraints from Bucky’s arms and legs like they’re made of tissue paper. 

“Steve?” Bucky is still convinced he’s dreaming or worse, hallucinating. 

“Buck,” Steve says grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a hard shake, “we have to go.” He says the last part slowly and with deliberate emphasis. 

Bucky staggers to his feet and Steve steadies him when Bucky’s legs start to give. 

“Are you taller?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it permanent?”

“Seems to be,” Steve replies. “This way,” he says leading Bucky from the lab. There are explosions and gunshots going off all around them.

“What about the others?” Bucky has to yell to be heard at this point. 

“They’re on their way out!” Steve yells back. 

They run and run trying to get out as the inferno devours the building. Their escape is halted by a high ranking Nazi officer. Bucky recognizes him, and the symbol he wears proudly on his lapel of the Hydra. And the officer recognizes Steve as the handiwork of someone called Erksine. Steve was given a serum to make him like this...Bucky’s mind is trying to process all of this when the officer peels off his face to reveal a skinless red skull. 

“GO! Get out!” Steve yells at him as the building begins to disintegrate. Shots are fired and the Nazi officer laughs menacingly. 

“GO!” Steve yells again. 

“NOT WITHOUT YOU!” Bucky nearly screams. 

Everything becomes a blur from this point forward. The next thing Bucky remembers clearly is walking back to base camp with the other prisoners following he and Steve. 

Things start to move quickly now. Steve has been nominated as the leader of the ragtag band of prisoners he liberated. Bucky is a part of this group now calling themselves the Howling Commandos. 

They go on mission after mission to stop Hydra, which they have deemed to be more of a threat than the Nazis. 

One evening while they’re camped out for the night Bucky finally gets a chance to ask Steve what the hell happened to him. Steve confides what transpired, even making Bucky laugh by telling him about the dancing show tune gig he was doing when he found out Bucky had been captured. 

“So, this is you now, kid?” Bucky asks and then rubs his chin roughly. 

“Yeah.”

Bucky shakes his head. He’s spent years protecting Steve, making sure the kid was safe, being responsible for Steve and now...now Steve doesn’t need him anymore. And Steve is just as likely to get killed now as Bucky is. It’s a punch to the gut and a knife to the heart. Steve is the only family Bucky has…

“Tell me about this dame of yours you plan on marrying when we get home,” Steve says with a smirk. The thought of Ciara dulls the pain of realizing Steve is a fucking dumbass who has a death wish. 

“Ciara.”

“Yeah, her. What the hell was that all about?”

“I’m going to marry her, kid. What the hell is there to tell?”

“How long have you known her and why haven’t I met her before?” Steve demands. 

“I met her the same day you did.”

Steve’s jaw comes unhinged and this makes Bucky laugh. 

“No. You’re busting my chops,” Steve says and shakes his head. 

“Nope. When I get back I’m going to find her and we’re getting married. And if you’re there you’re going to be the best man,” Bucky says calmly. 

“How’d you meet her and why was she dressed in that costume?” 

“She ran into me and nearly fell on her ass. I caught her and kept her in my arms. She accused me of throwing lines at her -”

“So she is aware of your amazing bullshit artistry,” Steve jokes. 

“Ha. Ha. You want to hear this or not?”

“Go on,” Steve laughs. 

“We walked around for I don’t know how long. She was either on my arm or I had my arm around her,” Bucky says recalling that day and smiling. “We stopped at the end of the Pavillion and I told her she was beautiful. She told me I was still giving her lines so I kissed her.”

Steve’s eyes are wide with intrigue. He motions for Bucky to continue.

“We kissed more. And then...I saw changing rooms and pointed them out to her. We went into one and locked the door and…”

“And? And what??” Steve demands. Bucky gives him a bemused look. He sees the color come up on Steve’s face as Steve puts together what happened. 

“In the changing room?”

“Yeah. Twice.”

“Twice?”

“Twice,” Bucky says holding up two fingers. “Before and after I asked her to marry me.”

“So that really wasn’t a line you were feeding her?” Steve asks in disbelief.

“No, kid. I plan on marrying her. I’m actually hoping that when I get back…” he laughs a little as he thinks about his wish. 

“Buck?”

“I’m hoping when I get home she’s had a baby. My baby. A little boy.”

“You’re not kidding. You genuinely love this dame,” Steve marvels. 

“I expect you to be the best man.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Buck.”

The following day the entire group is on the hunt for Zola’s train. If they can catch him, they can put a dent in whatever Hydra’s working on. Bucky recognizes the train. He was a prisoner on that train, as were some of the others. The things that were done to them, the things they had to endure aboard that train fill Bucky with a near debilitating fear as they board the train. 

“Buck.”

“I’m with you, Steve, till the end of the line.”

“Till the end of the line,” Steve repeats. 

The nagging feeling of not wanting to be on this train, of something being direly wrong gnaws at Bucky throughout the firefight. As he and Steve make their way to the outside of the train the feeling intensifies a hundredfold. 

They’re attacked on the outside. Bucky loses his footing and as he clings to the side of the train with Steve reaching for him, begging him to try harder to get his hand, Bucky hears Ciara’s voice say,  _ “Don’t go on the train.” _ The piece Bucky had been holding onto for dear life gives way and as he falls the last thing he sees is the anguish on his best friend’s face, and the last thing he hears is the voice of the woman he loves. 

 


	7. Formal Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint introduces himself and helps Ciara by rubbing her head.

**_Hawkeye’s Formal Introduction_ **

 

Ciara sits in her room scribbling what she can remember of the code from both the whiteboard and the blackboard onto a piece of paper she found. Something is still missing, but she can’t put her finger on what. The pieces that they had strewn all over the table all have the semblance of watch pieces, but yet they don’t coincide with any watch she’s ever seen. There are way more intricate pieces involved here, and what watch uses copper wiring? 

She puts the pencil down and rubs her temples. She’s exhausted and tired. Between this and the shit with the Winter Soldier and now Archer….

He called her Kitty Cat. 

“Asshole,” she mutters, but she can’t help but smile. He’s the only one here that’s shown her something other than hostility. 

There’s a knock at her door. She scrambles to hide the paper before someone sees what she has. Even though she’s allowed to sit and watch and occasionally be questioned by the diva scientists she doesn’t know how well they’ll take to her working on this outside of the designated area. She hides the paper and rubs her right temple as she opens the door. 

It’s the Archer.

“You okay?” He actually sounds concerned. That’s a neat trick for this place.

“Sure,” she lies.

“No, you’re not. You’re dehydrated, that’s why your head hurts. Come on -”

“What are you doing here?” she asks before he tries to pull her out of her room. 

“Checking on you. What does it look like?”

“You’re going to get us both killed, you know that right?” she asks him in a very curt voice.

“Nah. Not tonight. You want that headache to go away or not?” he asks. He doesn’t seem bothered by her abrasiveness. She considers the offer. Her head is pounding to the point her eyes are watering. 

“Seriously, you are dehydrated. You’re pale. I’m worried you’re going to hurl on my boots and I just had them shined.”

He’s making jokes. 

“You’re an idiot,” she tells him and smiles. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m an idiot who’s going to help you fix your brain ache. Come on, kitty cat,” he says taking her upper arm and pulling her out of the room. 

He takes her to the makeshift mess hall, pulls out a chair and pushes her into it. 

“Stay.”

“Woof,” she replies. She hears him laugh as he disappears into the kitchen area. She puts her head down on the table and is thankful at how cold it is against her brow. 

“I should haul your ass to medical,” he says reappearing again and placing two bottles of water and a small bottle of Gatorade next to her. She lifts her head slowly.

“Why do you care?” she asks. 

“Drink a few sips of the Gatorade first, then drink at least half a bottle of water,” he instructs. He opens the Gatorade for her and she does as he told her to do. He opens the water next and she drinks a little. 

“More. Keep going,” he tells her. She drinks and drinks until she can’t anymore. She puts the bottle down and puts her head back down on the table.

“You never answered my question,” she says as her eyes close. She hears a chair slide out and she opens her eyes. He’s sitting caddy corner from her watching her. 

“Why am I doing this?” he says repeating her question. “Because I can.”

“That’s a shitty excuse for an answer.”

“Yup. Drink more water.”

“Dickhead,” she mutters and starts to drink again. He smirks and watches her down the remainder of the first bottle of water. He pushes the Gatorade towards her and she has a few more sips. 

“If I was a dickhead I’d be in your mouth,” he says nicely when she stops drinking. Her head cannot process his sarcastic wit right now. She sighs and puts her head back down. Her eyes close again. She feels his fingers gently massaging her scalp. It feels fucking amazing.

“If you don’t start coming around I’m carrying you to medical, Ciara.”

“How do you know my name? I thought we were using secret agent names,” she mumbles. He huffs a little laugh.

“I know about you because I have to. I know about everyone stationed here. Kitty Cat.”

“Archer,” she says. He stops massaging her scalp and she opens her eyes. 

“Drink,” he says and opens the Gatorade for her again. She takes a few more sips and he hands her the fresh water bottle. She drinks more of the water. She’s surprised that it’s helping her headache. 

“Hawkeye,” he says as she puts the water bottle down. He puts the cap back on it. 

“Hawkeye?” she repeats. “Why not Legolas or Robin Hood or…”

“Ha. Ha. Put your head down, smart ass,” he says tapping the table. She puts her head back down and he goes back to rubbing her head. 

“How did you get that name?” she mutters. God damn does this feel good. Why hasn’t she had anyone do this for her before now?

“I don’t remember, to be honest,” he says softly. He stops rubbing her head and starts to massage her brow very lightly. If there’s a heaven this better be part of the daily routine. 

“Why are you doing this?” she asks again. She hears him sigh.

“Because you don’t belong here.”

She lifts her head. Based on the look on his face he’s being serious. 

“Drink your water,” he says gently. She downs the rest of the water. 

“Why are you here?” she asks. “Nevermind,” she says reconsidering this question. “The less I know the better.”

“Ignorance is bliss,” he says with a smile. 

“Plausible deniability,” she adds. He laughs. 

“That, too. How’s your head?”

“Better,” she answers, not bothering to mask her surprise at this. He nods.

“I told you,” he says smugly. “I still want you to go to medical.”

“I need to get some sleep. I’ll be fine,” she says blowing him off. 

“From where I sit you already are.”

She puckers her lips.

“Are you flirting? With me?”

“You’re delusional. This is why you should go to medical.”

She can’t tell if he’s fucking with her or if he’s serious. He’s got that half ass grin on his face that doesn’t give anything away. 

“Hmm,” she grunts and puts her head back down. She’s hoping he’ll keep massaging her head. 

“Finish the Gatorade,” he says softly. She lifts her head, disappointed he won’t continue. He pushes the Gatorade closer to her. She finishes the contents and puts the lid back on the bottle. 

“How is your head now?”

“Much better. Thank you,” she says. She is genuinely appreciative of his help. 

“Sure. Come on,” he says getting up. He takes the bottles and disposes of them and they head back in silence to her room. 

“I’ll check on you tomorrow. You need training. You can’t be in here without knowing how to defend yourself,” he says lifting her chin and looking at her neck. 

“They don’t seem too concerned,” she says with a shrug. He holds her chin and looks into her eyes. 

“Get some rest, Kitty Cat,” he says and then walks away. 

Ciara shuts the door and crawls into bed. As she drifts off to sleep she can’t help but wonder who this Hawkeye is and what his true intentions are. 

  
  



	8. Training Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint takes Ciara under his wing.

**_Begin Training_ **

“Explain to me why you felt the need to disturb me in regards to the female.”

“She’s a liability. We were attacked once by Hyrda and she did nothing to assist. I can train her to protect the scientists -”

“What exactly is your interest in the female, Hawkeye?”

Clint doesn’t waiver in the face of Cordova’s menacing question. His interest is his own, this is a ploy to make sure Ciara stays safe. She has no business here and these fucks are keeping her around for god knows what. 

“To make sure the liabilities here are kept to a minimum. What else are you going to do with her?” Clint asks. He should have kept his mouth shut.

“There are some thoughts on that subject,” Cordova says and then smiles ruefully. “But I will allow this for the time being.”

Clint makes sure to keep his face a mask of stone, but inside he’s terrified what Cordova may have in mind for her. Or if it’s even Cordova. 

Clint turns to leave when Cordova speaks again.

“Has she mentioned anything to you about the project she’s been privy to witness?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” 

“The only thing she’s said to me has involved asking me who the hell I am.”

“Very well. She’s yours to train until further notice. If she is needed you will relinquish her immediately. You are not to leave the complex under any circumstances with her. She is never to be armed under any circumstances. I suggest you train her well,” Cordova states. Clint leaves his office. 

He finds Ciara watching the scientists from her newly established perch on the walkway. 

“Come with me,” he tells her. She looks at him briefly but doesn’t move. She’s focused on what’s going on down below. 

“Ciara -”

“Shhh,” she hisses. The scientists are still arguing over the blackboard scribblings. Clint can’t let her be insubordinate in front of the others. He has to stand his ground with her. 

“I said now,” he growls. She glares at him. 

“No.”

Part of the reason he wants to protect her is to keep that fire inside her alive. If they break her she’ll be another mindless drone and he’s seen far too many of those within this sector of SHIELD lately. 

“If you don’t get up I will carry you out of here kicking and screaming. What do you think Cordova will do to you then?” he asks being extremely clear in his malice towards her.

“Who is Cordova?”

That backfired. She has no idea who Cordova is by name only by face. He drops to a squat next to her and stares at her.

“The man that you’re so fucking afraid of in here.”

She instantly loses all color in her face and her eyes widen in fear. She knows enough to fear Cordova and she damn well should. 

She gets up hesitantly, keeping her eyes on him. He’s spooked her enough that she’ll obey him now. This isn’t what he wanted. He leads her down to a makeshift training room he put together. It’s private and he has it set up so that the room and equipment face the door so he’ll be able to see who is coming in. 

“I should have had you change,” he says looking at her clothes. He takes a step towards her and she instinctively backs up a step. 

“What are we doing in here?” she asks. He wishes he could find a way to get her back to the other night when he was massaging her head and making her drink water, she was conversational even through her headache. He checks outside of the room for any sign of company. 

“Training. Listen to me, I’m not your enemy here, Kitty Cat. I don’t want to be. You’re the least prepared person here and I can’t protect you if I have to babysit the assholes in lab coats. I have Cordova’s temporary blessing to train you. “ He refrains from saying anything about the possibility that Cordova has other plans for her. 

She studies him for a moment. He takes another step towards her, she backs up a step and he puts his hands up. 

“Why should I trust you?”

“Nothing I will say will convince you one way or the other to trust me. Just know this, I don’t want to see anything happen to someone with such lovely sarcastic wit.”

She skews an eyebrow and gives him a look. She doesn’t believe him. 

“I told you to stay when I took you to the mess hall and you woofed at me.”

“Woofed.”

“Past tense? And you made a woof...you did woof...what the hell are we dissecting my grammar for?” he demands. Now there’s a hint of a smile. 

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

“Is this better or worse than being a dickhead?” he responds. 

“If you were a dickhead you’d be in my mouth, remember?” she says sweetly. 

“Alright, Kitty Cat, alright,” he says and laughs a little. “Can you trust me enough to let me teach you some defense and offense?”

“Because my attitude isn’t offensive enough, right?” she asks. “Sure, Archer.”

“Archer?”

“Hawkeye sounds dumb. You don’t look at all like the guy from MASH.”

“Archer it is,” he says with a smile. “Let’s start with some basics.”


	9. Find A Way To Make Yourself Useful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lean Man menaces Ciara into divulging what she knows.

**_Find A Way To Make Yourself Useful_ **

 

Ciara has been training with Archer for over a month now. He spends a few hours a day with her and the rest of the day he’s hidden in a perch somewhere keeping an eye on things. He’s been running her through the wringer, pushing her to her limits with this defensive shit he insists she learns.  Today should be no different, but it is. There’s so much tension in the air between the two of them it feels like the air in the room is electrically charged.

“Hands up! Again! Like this!” he yells and then demonstrates where her hands should be. Ciara glares at him.

“That’s where they are!” she yells back. He drops his hands and stomps over to her. He spins her around so her back is to him and he pulls her against his body and forces her hands into fists and puts them up where he thinks they should be.

“Like this,” he growls in her ear. “I’m not doing this for my goddamn health.”

She whirls on him and shoves him. He barely moves.

“What the fuck _are_ you doing this for?” she demands. “What sadistic reason have you got for pissing us both off?”

“You know why I’m doing this,” he mumbles. He walks away from her and grabs his handtowel to wipe his face off with.

“What the fuck? Are you channeling the Marquis De Sade?” she demands.

“There are days I hate being around you.”

That hurts. She had counted Archer as her only friend here and even on a day like this when he’s pushed her to her breaking point, she would never tell him she hated him. She walks out of the training room.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he barks just as she steps from the room.

“Away from you.”

“Cordova -”

“Can do as he pleases. Thank you for reminding me that I’m alone here.”

She walks off before he can say anything else.

She heads to her room and closes the door. She slumps to the floor and holds her head in her hands. She regrets not choosing death now. She regrets not running like Hattie and Michael had done.

She gets up and goes to take a shower. If she’s going to feel sorry for herself and the shitty decisions that landed her here she may as well not smell like a gym locker while doing it.

She heads to the lab when she’s done. Instead of going up to the walkway like she’s been doing she sits at one of the far tables. The guards barely notice her these days. The lead scientist sneers when he sees her, making a snide comment about how the brain dead monkey likes to come watch the smart people do their work. She ignores him and sits quietly. They’ve spread out more stuff and even attempted to put some of it together. There’s stuff that has char markings on it like it short-circuited.   She refrains from touching anything. She doesn’t feel like being yelled at or drawing attention to herself.

She feels like she’s being watched. She looks up at the walkway, but there’s no one there. No one she can see at least. She goes back to watching the scientists and their dick measuring contest. She debates on telling them she has the stupid equation they’re missing.

The scientists break for lunch and Ciara heads to her room to wait for them to finish. She’d rather not be around them while she eats. She pulls the equation out and looks it over. She’s stared at it so much the past week she’s got it memorized. Almost.

She heads to the mess hall after a while to eat. She gets a tray and sits at the back away from the lingering scientists and the others that meander in and out. She’s playing with the instant mashed potatoes on her tray when she hears the voice of Satan himself.

“Your training with Hawkeye was incomplete today. You were in the lab when you were to be with him. I find this to be unacceptable.”

She raises her eyes to look at his sallow face and black eyes.

“Perhaps it would be best to find a more suitable use for you since you’ve offered nothing in return for our hospitality.”

Ciara is terrified. A more suitable use? She doesn’t want to imagine what he could be referring to.

“Speak or I’ll see to it that you’re redistributed for a more efficient purpose.”

“I have the missing piece to the equation,” she says, her voice shaking with fear.

“Oh? And you’ve been keeping it to yourself?” His words hide malice and spite.

“I don’t know if it’s right…”

“I see. This is your pathetic attempt at staying in my good humor is it?”

“I can show you,” she says meekly. She doesn’t want to find out what he means by “more efficient purpose”.

“You’ll do just that. Let’s go.”

He doesn’t touch her, it’s by sheer force of will he makes Ciara stand and follow him like an obedient dog. He takes her to the lab and presents her to the scientists.

“Show them. For your sake you had better hope this works,” he says calmly.

“What does she have to show us? This simpering idiot dog you keep as your pet -”

The lean man silences the lead scientist with a venomous look.

“Show them,” the lean man says being deliberate in his enunciation of the words.

Ciara prays to whatever deities may be listening that she remembers it all and starts to write on the blackboard from memory of what she had on the paper in her room.


	10. The Peace Offering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint brings Ciara breakfast as a peace offering and warns her to make sure she's viewed as having some value, lest Cordova decide to use her for other purposes.

**_The Apology_ **

Ciara flops down on her bed. It’s almost five in the morning and this is the first time she’s been able to go back to her room to get some sleep since telling the lean man she knew about the equation. 

By the graces above she was able to remember the entirety of the equation and get it on the board for the pompous asses who called themselves scientific geniuses. The lean man had shipped her off to a guarded room until he could confirm she wasn’t bullshitting him. When he confirmed that she was telling the truth she was escorted back to the lab and greeted by the shocked and chagrinned faces of the scientists. They had confirmed that what she had would plausibly work, but it would have to be tested. The lean man ordered them to get started on testing and building. Ciara had been told she was to work with them instead of lingering in the shadows. 

“You will still continue your training with Hawkeye. At least until your value wears off,” the lean man had told her and then given her a sinister smile. 

It’s that smile that haunts her dreams as she tries to sleep. 

There’s a knock at her door that scares her from her nightmares and causes her to fall out of the bed and land on the unforgiving concrete floor. She pushes herself up and gingerly opens the door. She’s dismayed to see Archer. She doesn’t bother hiding her disdain at seeing him. 

“Are you alright? You hit the floor? I heard a thud,” he says looking her over. She narrows her eyes.

“I’ll meet you in the training room in ten,” she says ignoring his questions and making her tone as icy as possible. He studies her for a moment, nods and then walks away. It takes her a while to get dressed, her knees, the palms of her hands and her right elbow took the impact of her fall from the bed. Even that short distance to the floor hurts like hell. She limps to the training room wishing he’d just left her the fuck alone today.

“You’re hurt,” he says when he sees her limp into the training room. “Jesus Christ, Kitty -”

“Let’s just get started,” she says cutting him off. His normally unbreakable exterior cracks a little.

“I’m sorry about what I said the other day. I in no way meant what I said,” he says softly. “I brought a peace offering to show you that I didn’t mean it.”

“Keep it. You said what you did for a reason.”

“Ciara, what I said wasn’t...I can’t change what I said, I can’t take it back. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

He’s a convincing actor if nothing else. 

“You don’t say shit like that just because it slipped out. It came from somewhere,” she says. Her knees are killing her, so is her elbow and her hands. She sits down gently on the mat and pulls up the pant legs to look at her knees. They’re both bright red, puffy and the left one looks skinned. 

“Goddamn, you hit the floor hard, didn’t you?” he asks as he kneels down beside her. He always makes sure he has a clear view of the door. Always. He takes her leg and makes her flex it. She winces and grinds her teeth. 

“You’re going to be sore for a few days, but nothing looks badly damaged. I’m going to get you some ice. Don’t go anywhere,” he orders. She’s tempted to just go as soon as he leaves the room just to spite him, but she doesn’t. Maybe because she’s sore, maybe because part of her believes he really is sorry for the shit he said. He comes back a few minutes later with baggies full of ice. He wraps them in the small towels and sits next to her on the floor.

“Stretch your legs out,” he tells her as he gently pulls her legs straight. He puts the makeshift icepacks on her knees and then takes her arm. 

“Don’t,” she snaps and takes her arm from him. He’s undeterred and takes her arm again to look at her elbow and then at the palms of her hands. He shakes his head. 

“What time did they let you go last night?” he asks.

“This morning around five.”

He shakes his head and gets up. He comes back with a brown paper bag and sits back down next to her. 

“The shit they serve in here is a joke. I thought you’d like something a little tastier,” he says. He pulls out a styrofoam container and Ciara can smell maple syrup and eggs and…

“Do I smell bacon?” she asks as she opens the container. Sure enough, there are pancakes, scrambled eggs and four perfectly cooked strips of bacon. She’s pleasantly surprised. 

“I wasn’t sure how you liked your eggs so I went with scrambled,” he says as he opens his own container. 

“Unfertilized is also preferred,” she says without hesitation. He laughs. 

“I got coffee and creamers. Vanilla or amaretto?” he asks holding up some little creamers and smiling. 

“Amaretto, please.”

He dumps a few into her coffee and stirs it, then sits it on the mat next to her. He hands her the prepackaged plastic utensils and some extra syrup. They eat in silence. Ciara had damn near forgotten what real food tasted like and this is sheer bliss. 

“Thank you,” she says at long last. She’s swirling the last piece of pancake around the little bit of syrup as she speaks. He licks his lips and nods.

“Was it good?”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

He chuckles. 

“How’s your bumps and bruises?” he asks. He puts his container to the side and lifts the ice pack off of her knee. It’s still red, but not nearly as puffy as it was before. 

“Sore,” she says looking at the palm of her hand. 

“No training for a few days till you’re healed. There’s no point and it may just hurt you more.”

“The lean man won’t be pleased,” she says looking at her hand.

“Lean man? You mean Cordova? Let me worry about him. What were you doing up till five?”

“You were up there in the walkway, Archer,” she says calling him out on his bullshit question. He smirks.

“You’re more observant now than you were when we first started training. And yes, I was, but that doesn’t mean I know what the hell you were doing with the lab rats.”

“I gave them what they were missing.”

She immediately regrets saying anything. 

“The formula on the board. Do you know what it’s for?” he asks. She doesn’t, and even if she did she wouldn’t tell him. This is a test, she’s sure of it. 

“No clue.”

“Cordova warned me you’d be spending most of your time with the lab rats now, but I was still to train you. Until further notice.”

“Until further notice,” she repeats. The phrase makes her skin crawl. 

“You have to make sure you show them you’re still an asset, Ciara. Don’t give Cordova a reason to think anything less,” Archer whispers as quietly as he can. He’s giving her advice, but there’s concern laced in there as well. 

“How do I do that?” She doesn’t want to find out what Cordova has in store for her as a contingency plan. 

“Make sure he knows you’re able to defend yourself and the lab rats if need be. That’s all you tell him. Trust me on this, Ciara.” Archer is adamant about the last part. She either trusts Archer or she deals with the Cordova alternative. 

“Alright.”

 


	11. The Onslaught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Soldier returns bringing more than chaos and destruction. He inadvertently starts the reconditioning of Ciara and the painful heartbreak of Hawkeye.

Clint paces the walkway above the lab floor. He can’t stay focused. He keeps looking at Ciara. They had another fight a few days ago. She told him he was flirting again and because it was true, because he knew damn well he was flirting, and because he doesn’t know how to make these feelings for her stop he had lashed out at her.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I can do a hell of a lot better.”

The look on her face broke his heart. He wanted to apologize, to tell her how sorry he was, tell her he meant the exact opposite and that he’s so far gone for her that he can’t think straight anymore. But the pain in her eyes, the pain he caused, he couldn’t speak for a minute. And by the time he could, it was too late.

“You’re needed Hawkeye. Now,” a young guard announces as he strides into the training room. Ciara doesn’t say a word, she steps past the guard and vanishes.

This is the first time he’s seen her since Cordova called him into his office to interrogate him on Ciara’s training. That scared the shit out of him. Cordova’s line of questioning had a sinister undertone. Ciara is in danger. If Clint is right, the project is a failure and she’s about to be repurposed for something else.

He watches her walk to another table and have a heated discussing with the lead lab rat. He's made up his mind when she leaves the lab tonight he's going after her to tell her how he feels and together they'll disappear from this death sentence. He's choosing Ciara over Laura. SHIELD be damned, too.

The alarms start going off. Everything freezes. Clint bounds down the stairs four at a time to get to Ciara.

“Stay here! Don’t move!” He orders and then runs out of the lab. He’s assuming that will be the safest place for her, it’s the most heavily guarded. He can stop the threat before it reaches her…

He’s halfway around the complex when he realizes it was a goddamn diversion.

“Go back!” he yells at the other guards. “Go back to the lab now!”

He runs like Hell is hot on his heels and bursts through the door just as Hydra’s killing machine descends on Ciara.

“Ciara!” Clint yells. Clint is dodging other Hydra goons trying to get to her before she gets killed.

“Go back,” Clint hears the Winter Soldier snarl at her. Ciara lunges sideways and grabs something from the floor. Clint hears the sound of metal against metal and then there’s a blinding flash. Ciara is gone. Hydra’s killing machine goes on a full blown rampage, destroying everything in sight. There explosions going off all around. Clint is so out of sorts about Ciara just vanishing like that he’s barely aware of what’s going on around him. He finally snaps to and seeks cover as the carnage continues.

Till it’s all said and done all but one of the lab rats has been murdered, the lab and half the areas around it are in ruins, leaving only a fraction of the complex still functioning. And Cordova has the remaining staff searching the area for Ciara. He had witnessed her vanish. Worse still, he had heard the metal armed maniac tell her to go back. Ciara’s death warrant has been signed.

“She is to be turned over to me as soon as she is apprehended. Do I make myself clear, Archer,” Cordova snarls. Clint doesn’t flinch, but the fact that Cordova knows Ciara’s nickname for him tells him he’s been careless around her.

Clint searches tirelessly for hours for Ciara. If he finds her they’re running. He doesn’t know where they’ll go, but they’ll run.

He hears a commotion a short time later and runs in that direction. They found her, but she’s not going quietly. She breaks free using the training he’s given her and bolts. He catches her and pulls her into the rubble of the building.

“Archer,” she pants. She’s scared and she’s hurt. “Please, please take this. Hide it. Don’t let them find it,” she begs and presses something into his hand. “Please,” she beseeches him with tear filled eyes. The guards are coming. She pushes him back into the rubble, forcing him into the debris and out of the sight of her pursuers. They grab her and she looks at him, her eyes pleading with him to stay put. She’s hit with the butt of one of the guns and collapses to her knees. They drag her off. He waits till he can’t hear them and slinks out. He can’t help her if he gets killed. His only hope is to find Cordova and try to persuade him to spare her.

By the time he locates Cordova, they have Ciara unconscious in front of Cordova. She lay in a heap on the ground. It takes every ounce of strength he has not to go to her and kill as many of these fucks as he can before they take him out. If he does that, they’ll torture her out of spite.

“Get her into the vehicle. Keep her subdued. If she escapes it will be your heads,” Cordova states coldly.

“If you plan on keeping her subdued you should have someone there with some sense about them,” Clint tells him. Cordova eyes him like the viper he is.

“While you are purported to be held in high regard within the ranks of SHIELD, I assure you, Mr. Barton, that if you cross me there won’t be enough left of you to identify. Or perhaps,” Cordova says looking at Ciara with malice, “you’ll watch as we break her soul.”

“Mind who you threaten, Cordova,” Clint growls. Cordova chuckles evilly.

“By all means, join her on the convoy. When we arrive your assignment ends.”

Cordova walks off.

“Move,” Clint says pushing the guards out of his way. He kneels next to Ciara. “Get blankets for the truck,” he orders. Ciara is unconscious. His heart is in pieces and his soul crushed. He scoops her up as carefully as he can and carries her to the truck.

He rides in the back in silence with Ciara laid out on the bed and two armed guards who can’t be any older than fifteen. They’re followed closely by the vehicle Cordova is in. Clint knows he’s being watched for any signs of treachery. He knows there are guns trained on he and Ciara both. He knows one false move and they’ll both be killed. The night descends on them, bringing frigid air. He covers her with a blanket wishing he could hold her and keep her warm. He sees her eyes open slowly.

“Sleep. Get your strength back. This night is far from over,” he whispers.

  
  
  



	12. Cordova's Black Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint, Ciara and Cordova arrive at their new destination and Clint is forced to witness Cordova's vileness as Ciara is beaten without mercy or reprieve. But the worst is yet to come.

**_The Vileness of Cordova_ **

Clint has no idea where they’re going. He has no idea how long they’ve been in the back of this shitty truck. All he knows is that Ciara is in danger and he may very well be, too.

She gave him a dog tag. He could tell by the shape and the raised letters what it was when she pressed it into his hand. She told him to hide it. Where the hell did she get a dog tag and why does she want him to hide it? He hasn’t looked at it yet. He’s more concerned with how she vanished, how the hell she reappeared and what Cordova has planned for her when they arrive. 

He puts his hand on her head and massages her scalp. She had liked that so much when she had a headache. She had smiled and the look of contentment on her face while he did it…

He should have taken her out of there sooner. He should have figured out how to get her someplace safe where the two of them could have…

He looks down at her. He’s fucked up on so many levels with her. He should have taken her out of here. He shouldn’t have made her feel like shit and snapped at her. He should have told her he was developing feelings for her. 

The convoy stops finally. Wherever they are it’s more heavily guarded, there’s armed personnel running all over. The truck is opened and Ciara is forcibly dragged from the bed and Clint.

“No! No! Ciara!” Clint yells as he lunges for her hand trying to grab her and pull her back.

“Archer!” she screams kicking at her handlers and trying to take his hand. Clint is wrangled and held back as they manhandle her and drag her off. 

Cordova walks up to him and smiles hatefully.

“You should have kept your distance, Hawkeye. But that’s neither here nor there now. Come. I have something to show you before you’re reassigned.”

“Think about what you’re about to do,” Clint warns. Cordova laughs. He pushes Clint in the direction he intends for them to go. Cordova is escorted by no less than twelve armed men. They go to a room with glass panels that overlooks a room below. 

“Her final stop will be with our dear Dr. Van Doren,” Cordova says. Clint’s heart stops. He knows that name, he’s heard it whispered in fear at the different sights he’s been stationed at. Van Doren makes the Nazi doctor Josef Mengle look like a goddamn saint if rumors are to be believed. 

Cordova nods toward the glass. Clint looks down and sees Ciara on her knees surrounded by huge men. 

“Don’t do anything foolish,” Cordova taunts Clint. He knocks hard on the glass and the men look up. Cordova nods and they begin pummelling Ciara. She tries to fight back, everything he’s taught her she’s putting to use, but it’s not enough, he didn’t teach her enough.

“You son of a bitch,” Clint hisses. “Let her go -”

“I think not. Mind your manners, Hawkeye. You’ll only make her suffer more,” Cordova says calmly. 

“Let her go.”

“No,” Cordova says sharply. He taps on the glass again, they stop beating her and look up. Cordova presses a button on the intercom.

“Begin interrogation,” he orders. 

“Where did you go?”

“What happened at the warehouse?”

“Why did he spare you?”

“WHO ARE YOU?”

The questions come one after another with no chance for Ciara to answer any of them before she’s punched and kicked.

“Why did he spare you?” they ask again.

“I don’t know!” she screams defiantly.

“Where did you go?”

“Nowhere!”

“Who are you working for?”

“Please...stop!” she begs. They begin to pummel her again. 

“Where did you go!” 

“I didn’t -”

“Why did he spare you? Who are you?!”

“I don’t know why! Stop!” she cries. 

Clint is forced to watch as they continue to ask her the same questions, repeating them over and over as they beat her mercilessly. Her answers never change, but her words are broken and sluggish. Clint can see the blood on the floor. Her blood. 

“Stop...please…” Clint begs. He feels sick. The door to the room opens. 

“Ah, Doctor Van Doren,” Cordova purrs. “You’ll have a new test subject momentarily.”

“No,” Clint chokes. “No.”

Cordova and Van Doren act like he’s not there. 

“If she’s badly damaged she’s of no use to me,” Van Doren bitches. 

“You’ll deal with whatever is left. I’m sure she’ll suffice. And if not...dispose of her as you see fit,” Cordova says nonchalantly. 

“Really?” Van Doren muses. Clint gags. Now they notice he’s still in the room. 

“Settle yourself, Hawkeye,” Cordova orders. He taps on the glass again and presses the button on the intercom. “Ask her who the Winter Soldier is.”

“Who is he?” Clint hears them taunt her. Question, punch. Question, kick. Question, punch and kick.

“I don’t know!” she screams wildly. Clint presses his hands against the glass and squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Watch or when we’re finished you can be witness to Doctor Van Doren putting your precious Kitty Cat to good use,” Cordova warns. Clint opens his eyes just as they take Ciara’s right arm and break it. The wet snap of bone is loud and sickening. 

_ “CIARA!” _ Clint screams and bangs on the glass. She looks up at him, barely recognizable from the beating she’s received. 

“Get him out of here,” Cordova orders. Clint is surrounded by armed agents, all with their weapons drawn on him. 

“Why?” It’s all he can manage to ask as he glares at Cordova.

“Mind yourself. So long as you behave she survives,” Cordova says hatefully. “If he makes any sudden movements kill him, kill the fiance and then we’ll have some fun with his pet cat down there,” Cordova continues. 

No one was supposed to know about Laura. No one. She was supposed to be kept safe and out of this. He was going to leave her and have her disengaged from this nightmare so it would just be he and Ciara. But they  _ know _ . Any plans he may have had about breaking free and rescuing Ciara are now dead in the water. He cannot risk another life. He won’t. Clint goes quietly to an awaiting chopper where he is removed from the premises. He vows vengeance for Ciara as tears fall and he is carried away. 

 


	13. You Have No Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara is the subject of some experimental craziness. Cordova and Van Doren send her after the Winter Soldier as her first test with the threat of harming the only surviving friend from the night SHIELD took over her life.

**_Ciara’s Nightmare_ **

Ciara’s dreams are haunted by pain and torture. Visions of Bucky chasing her, not knowing who she is, strangling her with a vacant look in his eyes. Archer telling her she means nothing to him and laughing as the world around her burns and crumbles. Faceless men beating her asking her questions in languages she can’t understand. A man with a crooked smile stabbing her with something that makes her skin melt and her blood boil inside her. He laughs, his breath smells of rot and decay, old death. She sees Archer glaring hatefully at her. Bucky laughing as she’s beaten. Both of them mocking her pain.

“Stupid whore. Did you think you were so special I’d actually marry you?” Bucky sneers. He throws handfuls of dog tags into the air. They rain down on her, the metal making a tinkling sound as they hit the floor.

“Bitches like you are a dime a dozen,” Archer laughs as he throws the dog tags at her. They both laugh demonically.

Cordova’s face looms over hers with his sickening grin and sallow skin.

“I warned you the consequences would be dire. Dire. Dire. Dire. Dire.”

Ciara’s eyes fly open and the world shifts and spins violently. She tries to move but she’s shackled in place. The lights are bright and burn her eyes.

“She’s awake, Doctor.”

“She survived?” She recognizes the voice but can’t place it.

“Yes. She appears to be healing, albeit very slowly.”

“I see. How are her vitals?”

“Pulse is thready, but nothing alarming.”

“Get the ECV-12 formula.”

“But, Doctor, it isn’t ready. It hasn’t been fully tested…”

Ciara hears panic in the woman’s voice.

“Get the ECV-12 formula,” he says slowly and much louder. “Now.”

Ciara tries to move again, the shackles clang against the table.

She sees the man from her nightmares appear in her line of sight and smile cruelly. She wasn’t dreaming. He’s real. And if he’s real...Archer and Bucky…

“Oh, no tears. Such a waste of energy. You’ll need your strength for V-12,” he leers.

She sees someone bring the mad man a vial of something that ripples different colors as the light refracts off of it.

“Doctor, this may kill her -”

“Then she dies,” he says and shrugs. “No tears now,” he says looking at Ciara, “you should have shed those when your archer friend abandoned you.”

She feels something thick and icy enter her arm where the IV is jabbed into her vein. Suddenly her whole body feels like it’s being electrocuted and frozen all at once. Her body burns from the cold and her muscles jump and convulse like she’s being shocked. Her vision blurs, everything is like a kaleidoscope.

“She’s convulsing!”

“Give her the bit. Put it in her mouth!”

“We’re losing her! Pulse rate one thirty. Her blood pressure is two hundred over one twenty and climbing!”

“Finish the injection.”

“Doctor!”

“FINISH IT!”

“Pulse and BP are dropping too fast! She’s going into cardiac arrest!”

“Wait for it.”

“She’s flatlining! Doctor!”

“I said wait!”

“She’s flatlined! We need to give her an epinephrine -”

“SHUT UP!”

“Oh my god…”

“She’s coming back. She’s coming back! Pulse and BP are evening out. Heart rate is a little high...brain waves appear normal…”

“Never doubt me again. Wake her up. Give a double of epinephrine without arguing this time or you’ll find yourself on the table with her.”

Ciara screams as her eyes open to searing pain and fire throughout her body. The pain is so intense it makes her see spots. She thrashes about trying to escape the pain. She’s swimming, but not. Her whole body is submerged in a thick liquid. It’s like being stuck in molasses. Someone taps on the glass. It’s the man with the crooked smile that smells of the dead.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Duchess.  If you want out you’ll have to cooperate. Otherwise…” he points to his left. Ciara forces her head to turn. She sees huge cylindrical tubes filled with liquid and holding other bodies. Some of them are deformed, all of them are clearly deceased.

“Failed experiments,” the mad man explains. “They didn’t take to the serum as well as you did, or in some cases not at all.”

He sounds overly proud of this fact. He taps on the glass again to get her attention.

“You, dear Duchess, are the only one to survive the V-12 formula. It’s an extra concentrated formula of my own design,” he continues. None of this makes sense to her. Concentrated version of what? What the fuck is he talking about? She looks over at the other bodies. She survived, they did not. What has he done to her?

More glass tapping. She glares at him.

“Ah ah ah,” he says shaking his finger at her, “cooperation is the key.”

She sees other people in lab coats enter followed by armed men.

“How is our dear Duchess today?”

Ciara recognizes the voice as Cordova’s.

“Remarkably well. All the wounds your men inflicted have healed. Including her broken ulna and shattered shoulder. The V-12 seems to have mutated and adapted to her particular DNA structure, bonding in unprecedented ways.”

She sees Cordova and lunges at the glass. He smiles wickedly.

“Temper, temper, Duchess,” he tells her. “How long till she’s ready for a trial run?”

“We have no control over her yet,” the mad man tells Cordova.

“Get her under control, Doctor. I want her ready for a trial run. I want to see how well your V-12 works.”

“What would you suggest?” the mad man asks tersely. Cordova gives him a cool look.

“Just as they do the other one. Wipe her and give her orders.”

“There is no guarantee it will work. Shocking her cerebral cortex to that extent may have an adverse effect on V-12. It may kill her. It may prevent any damage to that area, and she will retain her memories and will.”

Cordova smiles and approaches Ciara.

“Microchip her.”

“There’s no guarantee that will work, either.”

Cordova pushes the mad man back away from Ciara. She can’t hear what they’re saying but they are both very heated in the debate they’re having. She sees the mad man motion to the other lab coats who move quickly towards Ciara. They’re injecting something into the liquid. Her eyelids are suddenly very heavy. The last thing she sees is the contemptuous smile of Cordova and the death stare of the mad man.

When Ciara awakens she is out of the giant test tube, totally dressed and her hands and feet bound. She’s alone.

“Time for your test,” she hears a voice say. The shackles release automatically. She stands up and rubs her wrists.

“Where am I?”

“Your orders are to eliminate the Winter Soldier. You will find weapons on the other side of the room. His location is northeast twelve hundred clicks.”

“No.”

“If you do not comply your friend Gabriel Townsend will come to a most unfortunate end. If you wish to have him remain in one piece you will do as you are ordered.”

Gabe is still alive. If she doesn’t comply…

She heads out and picks up the weapons they’ve left. Twelve hundred clicks.

She follows the trail they’ve left for her to find him. He’s left a swathe of destruction further up. Finding him was easy. The hard part is facing the man she fell in love with.  

She sees him murder stomp into a building, clearly on the hunt for something. She whistles and he emerges. His face is covered by the mask and sunglasses, but it’s him. The metal arm shimmers in the dull lights of the street lamps.

He pauses and raises his weapon. She thinks of Gabe. Gabe who may or may not be out of jail. Gabe who had the opportunity to move on with his life. Gabe who’s only crime was being friends with Hattie and herself.

Ciara raises her weapon, a rifle that she has no idea how to use.

“Finish what you started,” she pleads.

He tilts his head and takes a step towards her.

“Go.” He speaks that one word and lowers his weapon.

“Finish what you started,” she repeats. He turns around and starts to walk away. She fires the rifle, praying she misses him. The bullet hits the ground by his boot. He turns back around and raises his weapon again.

“Go. Now.”

“Finish it.”

He turns around to walk away again.

“Forgive me, Bucky,” she whispers. She drops the gun and runs after him. She growls like an animal as she pounces on him tackling him to the ground. He kicks her off with ease and rips the sunglasses off.

“Get. Out,” he snarls.

“Finish it!” she screams at him and lunges again. He backhands her hard enough she bounces off a wall. She recovers immediately and goes after him again and again. He throws her off, kicks her away while continually telling her to go.

“Stop!” he finally bellows. She wipes the blood from her lips.

“Then finish what you started,” she snarls. She lunges again and this time she goes for his throat. He puts her through a wall and aims the rifle at her. She drops to her knees, arms outstretched.

“Finish. It.”

“NO!” he fumes. He backs away and Ciara pounces on him, knocking him to the ground. He wraps his hand around her throat and bashes her head against the bottom of the stairwell. The world begins to gray and dim.

“Why?” she hears him ask.

“Finish...it…”

The world dissolves into blackness.


	14. Better, Stronger, Faster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara dreams of Bucky while Van Doren decides the best way to find out how well the super concentrated version of super soldier serum works is to keep injecting Ciara with it.

Ciara hears voices. She doesn’t recognize them. She can’t open her eyes. There’s excruciating pain everywhere. She can feel her body being moved, and not with any care. They’re rough, pulling and pushing on her already broken body making the pain ten times worse.

“Get her back to the lab.”

Ciara is vaguely aware of being transported. The bumps and jostles in the road make her see stars. She tries to stay awake, but there’s too much pain.

“Her skull is fractured. Three broken ribs. Left lung is punctured. She has internal hemorrhaging. She’s going to bleed to death, Doctor Van Doren…”

“Get the ECV-12.”

“I can’t let you do this, Doctor. I cannot. She’s a human being regardless of what you -”

Ciara hears a gunshot and the protesting stops.

“Now, will someone get me the ECV-12 without arguing?”

“Yes, sir.”

Ciara feels the familiar burn of the serum as it enters her bloodstream, but this time it’s different. She’s in absolute agony. She tries to get away, the pain is too much. 

“Sedate her! Do not let her out of those restraints!” 

Ciara feels something else entering her bloodstream, chasing the fire and ice of the serum. The world fades away. 

Ciara dreams of pre-war Bucky and the day she ran into him. How his blue eyes had sparkled when he smiled at her. How good it felt to be in his arms, how right everything seemed for those few hours. She’d let herself forget temporarily the events that had led up to her ending up in 1940-something. He’d wooed her with his charm and wit, and she couldn’t help but fall for him. He had her hook line and sinker long before they went to the changing rooms. And god he had been so attentive and so gentle while they made love. He had made her feel so good. When he confessed his love and proposed, Ciara’s heart had responded before her brain could fully register what was happening. And so she dreams of his blue eyes and meeting him at the Pavillion one day and running up to him to tell him how much she’s missed him and how she adores him. She dreams of hearing him tell her he loves her and it’s time to make good on his promise. She dreams of a life neither of them will ever have. 

“Rise and shine, Duchess.”

The absolute loathing she has of her code name makes Ciara open her eyes. She sees Cordova’s sallow face and black eyes staring intently at her. She glares and pulls on the restraints. She hears the metal weaken and smiles viciously at him. 

“Restrain her!” Cordova barks. Ciara yanks on the restraints again and the left one gives. Goddamn fools. They gave her this shit, made her into a monster and she’s going to make them pay dearly for it. For all of it. 

She’s injected again with another sedative before she’s able to free her right hand. She doesn’t sleep this time, but she’s unable to move. They restrain her with something else. She sees Cordova and the man he calls Doctor Van Doren speaking. She closes her eyes and listens. 

“She’s fully healed.”

“How is that possible? It’s been three days. She suffered wounds that should have killed her, even with the V-12. He fractured her skull,” Cordova growls. 

“She would have died if we had not given her the second dose -”

“You fool! What have you done!” 

This is the first time Ciara has ever heard Cordova sound something other than cold and antagonistic. He sounds scared.

“She would have died. She’s the only one who survived the initial dosage. You gave her to me to do as I saw fit, remember?” Van Doran snaps. 

“What I give I can just as easily take away,” Cordova states, regaining his icy disposition. 

“Then you’ll be the one to answer to them. Not I,” Van Doren says calmly. 

“You’ve given her two doses. What happens if you give her a third?” Cordova asks after several minutes. 

“She may die. It may tear her apart from the inside out. It may drive her insane, like a rabid wolf. It may make her invincible.”

“Why does it only work on her?”

“Her genetic makeup has something to do with it, but that is all I can discern. Even testing doses a fraction of what we gave her on similar subjects has been...less than favorable,” Van Doren states. 

“She failed to kill him.”

“And he refused to kill her.”

“Yes.”

“She wasn’t prepared to fight him. She has insufficient training.”

“Very well, Doctor. Wake her up,” Cordova says menacingly. 

“We have no way of controlling her. Or have you forgotten she tried to attack you a few minutes ago?”

Cordova laughs.

“She just needs to be properly motivated. Wake her.”

  
  



	15. Proper Motivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cordova's tactics to keep Ciara under his thumb are vile and reprehensible, but they leave Ciara no choice but to obey.

Cordova sits behind the mahogany desk and flips through one of the dossiers he’s requested. He’s waiting for them to bring in the Duchess. Van Doren’s pet has proven quite the specimen. The two doses of V-12 have amped her up well beyond expectations. Her reflexes are sharper, her senses are heightened, her resilience is through the roof, she’s able to heal fast, and from what he’s witnessed with her training, she catches on very, very fast. He tested her training on some of the men, highly trained hand to hand combat specialists. They had made short work of her at first. He was disappointed, thinking Van Doren had been trying to fool him. Then she’d picked herself up and left his men in broken twisted heaps. There had been five men that day. The following day he put twelve men against her, special forces, navy seals, rangers, all trained to take down a combatant. She wasted no time taking them out. He sent her back for more training, hand to hand and weapons training. There’s potential here. Hydra has lost their killing machine, but Cordova is in the process of training his killing machine. The next generation of super soldier. Van Doren’s serum may kill everyone else, but with Duchess, it’s made her something far superior to anything they could have hoped for. 

The door to his office opens and Duchess is escorted in by several armed men and Doctor Van Doran. Her hands are shackled as are her ankles. There is a chain that runs from her arms to her legs only allowing her so much space in order to walk. They’ve muzzled her, too. Cordova is very, very amused by this.

“Running her mouth?” he asks pleasantly of Van Doran. 

“Her teeth are quite sharp. We’re down an agent because she ripped his throat out while he put the arm restraints on her,” Van Doran answers blandly. Cordova laughs. Duchess glares at him. 

“You’re training has come along quite nicely, Duchess. Since your first test was a spectacular failure due to lack of motivation, I’ve come up with a way to make sure that is no longer the case. You’ve been with us for just over three years now, it’s time this investment in you starts to pay off.”

Cordova motions for the men to bring her closer. The force her down into a chair and Cordova hears the unmistakable sound of a growl emanating from behind the muzzle. She pulls on the chains and the men jump back and draw their weapons. Cordova can see by the look in her eyes she’s pleased by this reactionary response. She knows they’re afraid of her. They’ve created a monster, but instead of worrying him, Cordova is overly pleased. 

“I wouldn’t do that, Duchess,” Cordova says calmly. He opens the first dossier, turns it around and pushes it towards her. Her eyes darken immediately. 

“Remember him? You’re precious Archer?” Cordova asks smugly. She lifts her eyes and he sees the hatred building there. 

“Take the muzzle off,” he orders. Van Doran steps back and shakes his head no like he’s warning Cordova.

“I would not recommend that. Not after what happened -”

“Duchess is highly intelligent. She won’t risk putting the ones she holds dear in harm's way by doing something foolish.”

He sees the shifting emotions in her eyes. Good. She understands what’s at stake here. Van Doran steps behind her and removes the muzzle’s clasps then moves away again quickly. 

“Now then, Duchess,” Cordova begins again, smiling ruthlessly, “Do you remember your Archer? Answer me if you know what’s best for them.”

“Yes.” 

Her voice is cold and harsh. He’s very pleased. 

“Good. Good. You remember the man that abandoned you for his wife and son and now daughter,” Cordova says flipping over some of the papers in the dossier to reveal snapshots of Hawkeye and his family. Cordova sees the influx of anger and pain on her face. This is going better than expected. 

“You have a mission. Should you decided to pull another stunt like you did with the Winter Soldier your Archer will be...shall we say, very upset. His family will be exterminated, but we will leave him.”

She looks up from the photos, her face is a mask of animosity. 

“We’ll make sure he knows you killed them,” Cordova continues. Now her face changes. She’s horrified. He smiles. 

“You sick fuck,” she seethes. 

“Now, now, Duchess,” he says sweetly, “you can keep that from happening. Just follow your orders. Unless of course, Archer’s betrayal means nothing to you, in which case,” he puts one of the other dossiers on top of Hawkeye’s file and opens it. Now she’s terrified. 

“Gabriel Matthew Townsend, released from prison just over two years ago on good behavior. Currently enrolled in night classes and engaged to one Naomi Rivers. They have a daughter, and oh my...he’s named her Ciara Grace.”

“You bastard...you fucking piece of shit...don't you go fucking near them. Leave them alone.” 

She’s in pain at seeing the ones she loves have moved on, but more so that Cordova will place the blame on her and let the blood be on her hands if she fails to comply. He is absolutely loving this, and he hasn’t even shown her the last dossier. That one will surely break her. He decided to hold onto that one...for now. 

“Will you comply?” he asks coldly. 

“Yes,” she mumbles. 

“I said will you comply?” he asks again, his voice getting louder.

“Yes,” she mumbles again.

“DUCHESS! DO YOU COMPLY!” he bellows. 

“Yes,” she snarls, the seething fury and hatred burning in her eyes. 

“Very well. You will be given your orders at 0-500 hours. Remember, if you fail, they die and their blood is on your hands.”

 


	16. Haunted Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve asks a question that brings up Bucky's past and the clouded memories he holds.

“Hey. You okay? You seem a little out of sorts.”

“More so than usual?” Bucky asks taking a cheap shot at himself. Steve isn’t amused. 

“What’s wrong, Buck?”

“Just tired. I had some pretty bad dreams last night,” Bucky says trying to make it sound unimportant.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Steve nods. They’re sitting in the common room of the Avenger’s complex on the couch. Bucky was mindlessly flipping channels when Steve came in. 

“Do you remember that dame from the Marvels Pavillion?” Steve asks after a few minutes. Bucky wrinkles his brow. 

“Come with me,” he says getting up. Steve looks at him, but follows Bucky back to his room. Bucky pulls the bottom drawer of the dresser out completely, sits cross-legged on the floor and digs all the way back. 

“Shut the door, Steve.”

Steve shuts the door.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Bucky pulls out a backpack and then stands up. 

“Your notebooks. I got as many as I could back from Romania -”

“I know. Do you know why I do this?” he asks feeling ashamed. 

“I know why, Buck. I don’t expect you to show me -”

Bucky puts his hand up to stop Steve. He dumps the notebooks he’s filled out on the bed and sorts through them till he finds the one he’s after. 

“What do you remember about that day at the Pavillion, kid?” he asks. He runs his hand over the soft red leather cover of the notebook. He won’t look at Steve. 

“Not much to be perfectly honest. I didn’t find you till...goddammit, Buck, I didn’t mean to bring up something that...shit,” Steve hisses to himself. 

Bucky raises his eyes. 

“You didn’t, Steve. Just...just tell me what you remember. Please.”

Steve drops down into the navy blue high back chair and scratches his head. 

“I remember I was supposed to meet you there. By the time I found you it was dusk. You had that dame on your arm...Buck, I don’t want to do this,” Steve protests. Bucky knows Steve is afraid that this is going to upset him and send Bucky into a manic episode because he can’t clearly remember things from his past. 

“You’re alright, kid. Tell me about the dame.”

“The one on your arm? The one I saw for like two minutes before she ran off?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says and smiles. He runs his hand over the red notebook again. Steve rubs his face.

“I don’t remember her name. I remember she was wearing this weird outfit and those boots, man…” Steve chuckles as he starts to remember this. 

“Go on.”

Steve is quiet for a moment.

“She had dark hair that wasn’t styled like other dames and those eyes, holy shit. She had a nice build, Buck. I mean,” Steve makes the hourglass figure with his hands. Bucky laughs.

“Go on.”

“You introduced her as the future Mrs. Barnes. I remember you telling me you proposed to her after you two had defiled a changing room. You were hoping…” Steve stops talking again and looks down. 

Bucky opens the notebook and hands it to Steve. Steve looks at him and flips through a few pages. 

“I don’t know how much is right and how much is a dream,” Bucky admits. “I see her face in my dreams and in my nightmares, Steve. I can’t tell if it’s overlap, if it’s a fantasy...but you described how I see her in my dreams so that means she’s real. And if she is...if she is I may have killed her, Steve.”

“How the hell did you do that?” Steve asks, still thumbing through the journal. 

“Under Hydra’s control,” Bucky says quietly. 

“I doubt that, Bucky. She would have been what? Late sixties or early seventies? If she survived. We saw her in 1942, Buck, there’s no way she would have been around when Hydra made you do that shit,” Steve says dismissively. 

Bucky isn’t so sure. 

“You dream about seeing her at the Pavillion carrying your son,” Steve says looking at the notebook. “You told me you hoped you’d left her with a bun in the oven and when you got back you’d see the two of them.”

“She’s real.”

“She was, Buck. She’s...Bucky, we aren’t like the others. You and I have been on and off ice, we’re older than everyone just about. But she was real, man. She was real and based on the way she looked at you she loved you as much as you loved her.”

“Why the dreams where I hurt her then, Steve? Why the dreams where she comes after me and attacks me and I hurt her…”

“Buck, there’s no way.”

“No?” Bucky asks. “Don’t go on the train, Bucky.”

Steve freezes and his face gets pale. 

“No. That was...she was telling you not to go to war, Buck. She didn’t want you to get hurt. She wanted to marry you. She loved you.”

Steve’s trying to rationalize this, and Bucky wants to believe he’s right, but he can’t. 

That night Bucky’s nightmares make him revisit the train where he fell. He sees Steve screaming for Bucky to reach for his hand. Bucky stretches and reaches but can’t bridge the distance. He sees the pain on Steve’s face, the first of the tears as Bucky falls. Then he hears her voice…

_ “Don’t go on the train, Bucky.” _

Over and over and over he hears her say this as he falls in his nightmare. When he lands he’s facing her. Facing the woman he intended to marry, but she’s changed. He hears an animalistic growl and she attacks him. She pleads for him to end it as he fights her off. He pins her to the wall by her throat and then bashes her skull against a stairwell. She’s dying. She reaches for him, trying to say something. He leans down to her. 

_ “I loved you. Why did you get on the train?” _

He sits straight up and screams into his pillow. 


	17. The Dead Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is going through trials in his personal life when Natasha tells him Fury wants to see him. What Fury has for Clint opens old wounds and the lie he's believed for too long.

“Fury wants to see you.”

Clint looks up from the cereal he’s been swirling into mush for almost a half hour and blinks tiredly. 

“What?”

“You’re falling apart,” Natasha tells him. “Fury wants to see you.”

Clint shrugs and goes back to stirring his cereal. 

“Barton.” Natasha’s voice is firm and nagging all at the same time. He looks up again, but doesn’t say anything. 

“What’s gotten into you?” she asks sitting across from him at the table. 

“Laura took the kids. I had this waiting for me at the house,” he says picking up the milk jug and shoving the divorce papers at her. She opens the document and shakes her head.

“Goddammit. Why?”

“I have my theories. Most of which revolve around the fact that every goddamn time I try and leave here I get called back. And I’m never home. And I called her someone else’s name once.”

“Okay, so that last one is grounds for divorce,” Natasha says flatly. “She knew when you got married what you did, right?”

“She did.”

“Christ, I’m sorry -”

“Sorry for what?” Rhodey asks as he walks into the kitchen. 

“Nothing,” Clint and Natasha say together. He wags a finger at them and gives them a cold look.

“You know, you two have been hanging out so long you’re sharing a brain. Go see Bruce and get new ones.”

“Bruce will be thrilled to hear you think he’s Dr. Frankenstein,” Clint mutters. Natasha snorts. 

“Fury wants to see you.”

“Jesus Christ, fine,” Clint gripes. He takes the paperwork out of Natasha’s hands and heads to the mission control room. 

Maria and Fury are waiting for him when he walks in.

“We need to talk, Barton,” Fury says pointing to a chair. 

“This sounds promising,” Clint says as he sits down. 

“What can you tell me about project Dark Knight,” Hill asks. Clint is too fucking tired for this. He hasn’t slept in weeks. Between the shit with Laura and the kids…

“Nothing. What is it?”

“Let me see if I can jog your memory,” Fury says cynically. He touches something on the command module for the holographic monitors. The come up with a flicker and Clint sees something he has tried for years to forget. 

“What is this?” he demands of Fury.

“I was hoping you could tell me, Barton. Do you recognize this man?” Fury asks. The image changes and he sees the sallow face of Cordova on the screen. Clint can feel the rage building inside him. 

“I do.”

“You were stationed at two different zones he controlled as protection. He’s seeking protection and he’s demanding you,” Fury states. 

“Do what now?” Clint demands angrily. “I know I haven’t slept in weeks, but this is some -”

“Why don’t we start at the beginning,” Maria interjects. “How do you know Major Manuel Cordova?”

“I don’t.”

“Agent Barton,” Fury warns, “this is some next level shit here. This man ran a sector of SHIELD that up until an hour ago no one knew existed. He employed a Hydra double agent by the name of Cornelius Van Doran, who recently met a very gruesome demise. There are SHIELD and Hydra facilities that are going up in flames all over the globe with countless casualties. Major Cordova is insistent that it is Duchess.”

“Who the hell is Duchess?” Clint asks. He really doesn’t know. 

“Supposedly, this is Duchess,” Maria says bringing an image on the screen. Clint shakes his head.

“Not possible. She’s dead.”

“You do know her,” Fury insinuates. 

“Knew her. She’s dead,” Clint says coldly. “They killed her. Your Cordova killed her, to be more precise.”

“He isn’t mine, I don’t know how this motherfucker is,” Fury snaps. “What I do know is that he’s demanding you in exchange for everything they were working on, including the Dark Knight project and all the intel on Duchess.”

“Some of what Cordova was willing to supply about Dark Knight was that it was a defunct project dealing with time manipulation,” Maria offers. 

Clint stares at the image of Ciara on the screen, he can’t mask his shock. 

“I don’t know about that,” he lies as he thinks about the dog tag he has of James Buchanan Barnes hidden away.

“He says you were there for it,” Fury persists. 

“Watching out for his lab rats. What they did I had no part of.”

“And Duchess?” Maria asks. 

“Her name is Ciara Grace Sorano. Cordova kidnapped her. She’s supposed to be dead…” He’s still trying to wrap his mind around this. After years of trying to find her, of trying to get to her, he’d been told she was dead, a casualty of Van Doran’s bullshit experiments. The intel he had was supposed to be inside information from where she was with them…

“You know her full name?” Fury asks, his high and mighty tone dripping with cynicism. 

“She has a list of priors dealing with cybercrime, theft, burglary...then all trace of her stops. She vanished,” Maria states. 

“Because Cordova took her. An untrained civilian he brought into a military operation.”

“Why?” Maria asks. Fury sits back and folds his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know. She’s dangerously intelligent. He had her helping his lab rats, even though they wanted nothing to do with her,” Clint explains. 

“What does this have to do with Cordova requesting you by name?” Fury asks. 

“Because I was the one who started to train her to defend herself, because I knew she didn’t belong there, because he knew I was the closest person to her.”

Fury uncrosses his arms and leans forward, genuinely interested in the turn this tale has taken.

“Continue,” he orders Clint. Clint looks at the image of what Ciara has become and then looks at Fury. 

“What will you do with her?” he asks.

“That depends on what you tell me, Agent Barton.”

Clint looks at the screen, takes a deep breath and begins. 

It’s almost two hours later and Fury is still asking questions. Clint has answered everything he can, even some things he did not want to. 

“He took an unarmed, untrained civilian, brought her into a highly classified military set up to witness what we can only assume is some Jules Verne type of shit, was attacked and spared on at least two separate occasions by our own Sergeant Barnes while he was under Hydra’s control -”

“Three,” Maria corrects. Clint’s eyes widen. 

“What?” he snaps.

“Cordova just offered up more info as an enticement. It’s a clip of Sergeant Barnes...bashing Duchess’ head against the steps.”

Maria plays the clip and Clint has to fight to keep his cereal in his stomach. 

“He didn’t leave her. Even then he knew her. Look,” Fury points out. They can see the glint of metal in the rafters of the old building where he’s hunched down and watching Duchess being collected by Cordova’s men. 

“How is this possible? How does he know her? From where? Is she Hydra?” Maria asks thinking out loud. Clint knows that answer, but doesn’t offer it up. 

“Tell Cordova if he wants our help we need to know what we’re up against,” Fury commands. “We need that intel regardless,” Fury finishes looking directly at Clint. Clint doesn’t blink.

 

  
  
  



	18. The Past Comes Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint, Natasha, Steve, and Bucky are sent to meet with Cordova.

Clint rubs his eyes and sighs tiredly. 

“Are we keeping you?” Fury asks. 

“I literally have no place else to be,” Clint answers. 

“How do you want to proceed?” Maria asks Fury. 

“With extreme caution. Will she recognize you, Barton?” Fury asks. Clint never gave that any thought. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know how they’ve been manipulating her to keep her under their control until recently. She may be like Buck and just have a hazy recollection of people and events,” he says trying to keep an even tone. The idea that she won’t recognize him kills him. 

“I think it would serve all parties concerned if we brought in Sergeant Barnes,” Maria offers. “He’s been through a similar ordeal, if Duchess doesn’t recognize Agent Barton, Sergeant Barnes may be able to talk her down from her murder spree.” 

Clint is one letter away from going postal right now. Yeah, let's bring in Barnes, the guy who was sent to dispose of her three different times and couldn’t because Ciara went back in time and met him and took Barnes’ goddamn dog tag back as a fucking trophy. 

He should have just fucked her and ran with her when he had the chance. God-fucking-dammit. 

Clint rubs his forehead while he waits for Maria to round up Barnes, Rogers, and Romanov. 

“Anything else you care to tell me, Barton?” Fury asks. There’s no malice in his tone, no accusations, just a simple question. 

“She’s a good person, Fury. She didn’t ask for this shit. Just like Barnes didn’t.”

“You’re protective of her.”

“Look, she’s a victim of circumstances she had no control over. What’s happening now, what she’s doing is bitter vengeance for what was done to her and what they made her do.”

Fury nods. Clint knows this isn’t the end of the discussion. Maria returns with the two super soldiers and Natasha. Natasha gives Clint a questioning look. Clint shakes his head. 

“What’s going on?” Steve asks. 

“I have a question for Sergeant Barnes first,” Fury says. He pulls up four different images of Ciara on the holographic monitors. The looks on Steve and Bucky’s faces confirms what Clint already knew. She went back in time.

“It can’t be,” Steve mutters. 

“It’s her...she’s alive...oh god…” Barnes groans and then looks at Clint. Clint drops his hand so that it’s below the desk and out of sight of Fury and Maria. He makes a slicing motion and prays Barnes gets the meaning. Barnes stops talking.

“I take it you recognize her. What do you know?” Fury questions. 

“She was a mission,” Barnes answers. 

“You didn’t kill her,” Fury points out. 

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t remember.”

Clint knows Barnes is lying, he’s pretty sure Fury knows Barnes is lying, too. But maybe not.

“Don’t know or don’t remember.” It wasn’t a question. 

Barnes looks Fury in the eye. 

“I don’t remember,” Barnes repeats. His voice is flat and emotionless. 

“Romanov?” Fury asks.

“Never seen her. Who is she?”

“Codename: Duchess.”

Natasha puckers her lips. 

“Hydra calls her Winter’s Witch.”

Clint looks at Barnes who is now slumped in his chair looking like he wants to die. 

“Excuse me?” Fury asks.

“Winter’s Witch. Apparently, she’s the one mission he refused to complete. Until Rogers, that is.”

“How the hell do you know her?” Fury demands of Steve.

“I don’t. I thought I recognized her as my next door neighbor before my apartment got blown up,” Steve replies. Clint has to bite his tongue. Steve’s ability to troll people on the subtlest levels is the man’s best quality as far as Clint is concerned. Fury is not amused. 

“The three of you are going to accompany Agent Barton to meet with Major Cordova in regards to Duchess. At this point, she is to be considered a viable threat to all of SHIELD and Sergeant Barnes,” Fury states. “Brief them on your way there,” he adds. 

They get up and walk out of the mission control room. Clint presses his palms against his brow and groans.

“What the hell -”

“Not. Now. Meet me in the hangar. I have to get something,” Clint grumbles. 

“We’ll meet you in the hangar,” Natasha agrees. “Come on, you two, let’s get our gear.”

Clint heads to his designated bedroom and slams the door. He quietly moves the bed and pries up the fourth floorboard from the wall. He pulls out a picture of Ciara as she was before Cordova and Van Doran corrupted her and Barnes’ dog tag. Clint looks at it again. She went back in time and whatever happened played out into the future and Barne’s inability to kill her. 

He moves the bed back, grabs his gear and heads to the hangar. The others are waiting on him. He stops and looks at Natasha.

“What?”

“I need to know I can trust you. That what happens from this point forward with Duchess, myself and Barnes does not get relayed to anyone. Ever.”

Barnes looks from Clint to Natasha and keeps his gaze steady on her. 

“Natasha?” Steve asks. 

“That’s a bullshit question. Fuck both of you!” she snaps.

“You know damn well why it’s being asked, Romanov,” Barnes growls. 

“I have always had your back, Barton,” she seethes. “Always.”

“Then what I’m about to tell you stays between us. Get on the jet,” Clint orders. 

“You want to tell me what the fuck is going on?” Natasha demands. Clint looks up and twirls his finger. He preps the jet and Natasha and Barnes go about sweeping the jet for bugs. 

“Clean,” Barnes confirms. 

Natasha resumes her seat and stares at Clint. 

“You know that doesn’t work on me.”

“Who is she, Clint?” Natasha asks gently. 

“You’re the only one on the jet right now that hasn’t met her face to face, Nat. I met her several years ago and Steve and Buck met her over a lifetime ago.”

 


	19. The First Sparks Of Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Bucky become painfully aware of the other's feelings for Ciara. Or the person who used to be Ciara. As Natasha points out, there may only be Duchess now and they should all be prepared for that situation.

“How is that possible?” Natasha asks. 

“The Dark Knight Project or whatever Fury called it. But that may just be a line Cordova fed Fury to get me there,” Clint explains. 

“What was it?” Bucky asks, basically rewording Nat’s question.

“Time travel? I don’t know. I was focused on...other priorities.”

Bucky tenses at Clint’s choice of words. The only thing they had in common is knowing Natasha to some degree. Now it seems they know Ciara, too. This isn't sitting well with Bucky. 

“So, she went back in time and met you?” Natasha asks Bucky as she tries to piece this together.

“Yes.”

“And you saw her, too, Steve?” Nat continues.

“Briefly.”

“You do realize how outlandish this sounds?” Nat says, addressing all three of them. 

“Here. When you’re done give it to Barnes. It’s his anyway,” Clint says handing Natasha something. 

“Where did you get this? His tags were supposed to be destroyed -”

“He gave it to her.”

“My dog tag?” Bucky asks, already knowing full well that’s what they’re referring to. Steve is watching this like it’s the Superbowl. 

“You remember? Better yet, you gave this to her?” Nat asks as she turns in her seat and hands him the tag. Bucky takes it and looks at it. His heart aches so badly right now. He had given this to Ciara with the intent of coming back to her and getting her a ring and marrying her. He had hoped to start a family with her, buy a little house outside of the city and raise that family with her. He had dreamt of waking up to her every morning and loving her every night till they both fell asleep…

“Buck, is it the one you gave her?” Steve asks, pulling Bucky out of his delusion of grandeur. 

“Yeah. I gave this to her, Nat. I proposed to her the day I met her. Told her I’d come back as soon as I could and get her a ring and we would get married.”

“You proposed to her?” Clint asks. Bucky can hear him struggle with the words. 

“Yes.”

“A girl you knew for how long?” Nat asks.

“Five hours. Am I under interrogation here?” Bucky snaps. 

“Calm down,” Steve tells him. “What the hell does this have to do with Duchess now?”

“Just trying to piece this together, Barnes,” Nat says apologetically. “She gave this to you when?” she asks Clint.

“When she got back to our then current timeline. Everyone saw her vanish when Buck went after her. Cordova had anyone still able to walk looking everywhere for her. Between Bucky telling her to go back and Ciara vanishing -”

“Ciara?” Nat asks. Bucky has to remind himself she doesn’t know a damn thing about her and all this is new information for Natasha. 

“Ciara Grace Sorano,” Clint says simply. Now Bucky is perturbed. Clint knows her full name. While there has to be a logical reason for him to have said intel, it doesn’t make it any less infuriating that Clint knows more about Bucky’s former fiancee than he does. Not former, Bucky tells himself. There still may be a chance. If she remembers.

“I’m guessing you know her name because of what you were doing there at that base,” Steve says evenly. 

“It was my job to make sure any potential loose ends or threats were monitored and contained. She was a loose end. She didn’t belong. I found her file and made myself familiar with who she was,” Clint explains. 

“Then you got familiar with her,” Bucky states coldly. He doesn’t hide his jealousy. 

“I didn’t know about you and her, Buck. I had no fucking idea what the hell was going on between you two until it was too late and even then I wasn’t entirely sure until Nat handed you the goddamn dog tag. And yes, I became close to her.”

“This is why Cordova wants you there. He doesn’t know where Buck is and even if he did there’s no way he’d bring Buck over to try and stop her,” Steve says thinking out loud. 

“Cordova is using you to get her under control,” Bucky says angrily. 

“No,” Clint says tiredly, “he’s using me as a distraction to take the heat off of himself.”

“He thinks she’s attached to you?” Bucky asks coldly. 

“Enough of the alpha male smackdown shit, guys. We aren’t dealing with the girl from either of your pasts. This is Duchess, a stone-cold killing machine. Let’s not forget how many lives she’s taken in just under three months. I’m willing to be there’s even more blood on her hands once we find out the rest of her history from Cordova. She’s not Ciara. Not anymore,” Natasha chastises them. “We need to be prepared to deal with that and her accordingly.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Clint demands.

“Are you willing to take that chance?” Natasha fires back.

“I’ll take that wager,” Steve says throwing in his bid.  

“You’re not helping,” Natasha fumes at him. 

“I’ll take that chance,” Clint says.

“You know I’m going to take that chance,” Bucky agrees. 

 


	20. There's A Special Place In Hell For People Like Cordova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team arrives at Cordova's hideout and are Bucky finds out something that renders his soul to pieces.

They arrive at the coordinates Maria had given them for Cordova. Clint lands the jet after arguing with whoever is in control down there to give him the fucking clearance to do so. 

“Then you can tell Major Cordova that you refused to grant us permission to land when he asks why the fuck we aren’t here!” Bucky yells fiercely from behind Clint’s head. 

“Permission granted. Runway is cleared.”

Clint was surprised Buck’s temper tantrum worked. He’s also surprised he’s not deaf in his right ear. 

“Next time you decide to bellow like that, warn a guy. Jesus Christ,” Clint gripes as he rubs his ear. Bucky glares at him. 

“Knock it off,” Steve orders. “This is stupid. I don’t give a shit who she is to either one of you. Right now she’s a threat and until we can assess the situation and her further, she remains that way. Get your shit together. Both of you.”

“Don’t look at me, I’m on his side,” Natasha says backing up Steve. 

“Nice,” Clint grouses. 

“Fuck you too, kid,” Bucky mutters. 

“It’s like babysitting,” Clint hears Steve grumble. 

“Yeah, but in this case when they get out of line we can beat their asses,” Natasha tells him. 

Clint takes a deep breath and opens the hatch. They’re greeted by a fleet of armed guards.

“What exactly are we here for?” Bucky asks. 

“Cordova doesn’t think his militia here can handle one rogue female,” Clint says taunting the guards. 

“Here we go,” Steve mutters.

“We are more than equipped to handle the Duchess should she be foolish enough to show her face.”

Clint feels a tap on his shoulder. He looks back at Natasha whose eyes dart up. Clint follows her quick gaze and sees turrets built into sections of the wall just below ceiling level. They’re new constructs from the looks of things. He sees sniper perches hidden throughout. Cordova isn’t taking any chances. 

As they get further inside the security doors become increasingly more high tech and outrageous. Voice recognition for only qualified personnel. Next level is fingerprint scans, again only for qualified personnel. The next level is the retina scan, accepted by even fewer personnel. By the time they’re at the last level Clint feels like he’s in a goddamn Kubrick horror film. 

“Open the pod bay door, Hal,” Clint mutters as they come up to the final biometric scan. 

“I’m sorry, Clint, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Steve replies. Clint stops in his tracks.

“You scare the hell out of me some days, Cap,” Clint admits. Natasha is smirking. Bucky is naturally unamused. 

They enter a secured room filled with closed circuit TV monitors showing every inch of the compound. Behind a mammoth size desk sits a very sickly looking Cordova. He’s wearing an O2 tube around his face and Clint can hear the clear signs of labored breathing. 

“Welcome, Agent Barton. I see you’ve brought back up,” Cordova wheezes. 

“I see you’ve finally gotten most of your comeuppance,” Clint retorts. Cordova wheezes out a laugh and then coughs. 

“Most? I would think this to be all -”

“No,” Clint says hastily cutting him off. “You deserve far worse than what you’ve been given.”

“Ah. Have you come to exact your revenge? Is this the firing squad? Two super soldiers and a Russian assassin? I assure you, Agent Barton, I won’t put up that much of a fight, if any at all. But then you won’t get what you’re here for, will you?” 

Cordova wheezes heavily as he tries to laugh again. This brings on another coughing spell. 

“What exactly are we here for, Major?” Steve asks showing his impatience. 

“Duchess, of course. Isn’t that right Sergeant Barnes? Or have you yielded her to the Archer?”

Cordova is intentionally pushing buttons.

“I’ve seen enough,” Clint says with a shrug. “Your days of busting my balls or anyone else's are at an end, Cordova. I do hope you trained her how to shred souls.” Clint makes like he’s leaving. 

“Wait!” Cordova rasps. “I called you here to protect me from her, you fool!”

“Fool?” Bucky says taking a seat and looking at Cordova bemusedly. “Who called Fury and demanded your presence again, Barton?”

“Pretty sure it was this shitbag here.”

“Enough. You demanded to have Agent Barton here for a reason. He’s here. Whatever intel you have on your side projects and on Duchess I suggest you hand over,” Steve commands. 

“Always the leader,” Cordova wheezes sounding pleased. He pushes files around on his desk for a few moments. “Archer,” he says beckoning to Clint, “you first.”

“What the hell is this?” Clint asks looking at the incredibly thick dossier file. 

“Open it. The third page, towards the bottom.”

Clint sees the heinous smile on Cordova’s pasty lips and it creeps him out to no end. 

“What’s in the file?” Natasha demands.

“Wait your turn, Hellcat,” Cordova admonishes her. Clint flips the pages. The third page is from Ciara’s blood work a week after they started injecting her with whatever ECV-12 is. He scans down the page and nearly drops the dossier. 

Cordova laughs and coughs and then laughs more.

“What is it?” Steve demands. 

“Was it yours, Agent Barton?” Cordova asks menacingly. 

“No, you sick motherfucker, it was not,” Clint says looking at Bucky. “Buck,” he says quietly. Bucky stands up and Clint hands him the dossier and points to the section Cordova is having a field day about. 

“What is this? What the fuck am I looking at?” Bucky demands.

“Did you sleep with her, Buck?” Clint asks as quietly and discreetly as he can. “Just say yes or no.”

“Why?” Bucky growls.

“Oh, come now! What are we whispering about?” Cordova asks pleasantly. 

“What did you do?” Natasha demands angrily. She’s looking between Clint and Bucky and Cordova. Steve is behind Bucky now. 

“What’s going on?” Steve asks. Natasha is at Clint’s side now. Clint feels like the world has gone mad and he knows when Buck figures out what happened the world will go mad. 

“Did you sleep with her, Barnes?” Clint asks again in the same low tone.

“Jealous? What the fuck does this have to do with -”

“She was pregnant, Barnes. To you. The serum forced a miscarriage. That marker is all that remains of the baby,” Clint explains. “I am so sorry…”

Bucky loses all color in his face and staggers back. The dossier falls from his hands. Steve has to sit him in a chair. Natasha picks up the file and Clint sees the horror and then the hatred color her face. 

“Ah..so she did travel back in time, contrary to what she told us. And she fucked Sergeant Barnes. No wonder you refused to kill the little whore,” Cordova rasps. Bucky lunges from the chair and is caught by Steve and Clint. They have to force him back into the seat.

“You killed my son! You killed him!” Bucky rages as he tries to free himself from both Clint and Steve. 

“Son, daughter, it was too soon to tell. No matter. I have the answer to the question that has been plaguing me all these years,” Cordova says dismissively. 

“Barnes! Enough!” Steve barks. Bucky settles down and looks at Steve with tears in his eyes. Clint hurts for him. They robbed Barnes of everything, including his unborn child. He can’t imagine a greater pain. Yes, he can. Losing Ciara to the Duchess entirely. 

“What did you do to her?” Clint asks. 

“If your answers aren’t what we deem acceptable not only will we leave, we will make sure to put up a beacon so she can find you,” Steve warns. “You will pay for your crimes, Cordova. I give you my word.”

“You wouldn’t,” Cordova says calling Cap’s bluff.

“No, but I would,” Clint says in a low, sinister voice. “I would do so willingly.”

“I did nothing to her -”

“You lying piece of shit,” Clint snaps. 

“I did nothing to her,” Cordova continues. “Van Doran gave her the serum.”

“You gave her to Van Doran!”

“Van Doran?” Bucky asks. “Van Doran. You sick motherfucker.” 

Bucky rises up slowly out of the chair, a look on his face that would frighten the Grim Reaper. 

“Call him off, Captain Rogers,” Cordova chokes. 

“Who is Van Doran?” Steve asks paying no mind to Bucky or Cordova. Clint would have done all he could to hold Steve back from stopping Bucky ripping Cordova to shreds. Bucky has every goddamn right to annihilate this sick bag of shit. 

“He was our medical doctor…” Cordova wheezes. Clint recognizes the look on Bucky’s face. The haven’t eradicated all of the Winter Soldier. They never will. And in this one instance, James Buchanan Barnes and the Winter Soldier have become one in the same.

“He was a Hydra double agent who made Josef Mengle look like Mother Theresa,” Natasha explains. Clint knows Steve will get the Josef Mengle reference if nothing else. 

“Call him off, Rogers,” Cordova wheezes and gasps as Bucky descends upon him. 

“Where is the intel?” Steve asks calmly. 

“It’s all in here,” Cordova says motioning to the shelves and shelves of books. “Open the books.”

Clint heads to one of the massive walls of books and pulls one. He can tell just by the fell of it that it’s hollow. He opens it to find a sleeve of DVDs inside. He takes them out and puts the book back, then pulls another book. This one has thumb drives taped to the inside. 

“How much is there?” Natasha asks. Clint looks over at her then over at Bucky and Steve. Steve has Bucky by the shoulders and is holding him down in the chair. Bucky is a wreck. Clint thinks about Ciara. He wonders if she had any idea she was pregnant. Cordova had assumed the baby was Clint’s, and Clint realizes how careless he had been with Ciara. He can’t change that any more than he can change the feelings he still has for her. He looks back at the shelves and pulls another book. She’s still alive. He wonders if she’ll remember him or Buck. The idea of seeing her again scares him and makes his heart beat faster. He wonders if this is possibly his second chance with her. 

 


	21. She's Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cordova goes into detail as to how they lost Duchess and the aftermath.

Steve sits on the leather couch and flips through the enormous dossier Cordova has on Duchess. He’s also keeping an eye on Bucky in hopes the man doesn’t just get up and rip Cordova’s throat out. 

“What is all this?” Steve mutters. There are pages and pages of labs, tests, and graphs. 

“Endurance tests, strength tests, resiliency, healing, speed…” Bucky says taking the dossier from Steve’s hands and flips between pages.

“What the fuck is ECV-12?” Bucky demands. Steve sees Natasha and Clint stop their intel collection and look at Cordova who has a sickening smile on his face. 

“An experiment,” Cordova wheezes. Steve licks his teeth. Even in the face of certain death, Cordova doesn’t stop.

“Pack it up. If Duchess wants him bad enough she’ll find a way in,” Steve states. Bucky looks at the dossier then at Steve. He knows what Bucky is thinking. Steve had considered it, too. He’s certain if he presented the idea to Natasha and Clint they’d both agree to it. Using Cordova as bait to catch Duchess seems like a superb idea. 

“Stop,” Cordova gasps. Steve can see how panicked the man is at the idea of being left to fend for himself against his own creation. 

“Then start talking,” Clint snaps. “What is ECV-12?” 

“You are so very partial to her,” Cordova says spitefully. “Does your wife know you were pining over another woman while the two of you were supposed to be engaged?”

“All this time I thought you were just a sadistic prick,” Clint states, “but in reality, you’re a  _ jealous _ sadistic prick. Did she turn your advances down, Cordova? Did she look at you in repulsion? Can you fucking blame her?” Clint continues in the cruelest tone, “I mean, look at what you were up against,” Clint finishes pointing to Bucky and then motioning to himself in grand style. Cordova’s face is stop sign red and he goes into a coughing fit. 

“ECV-12, Cordova. Sometime today.” Steve makes sure Cordova can hear how little he cares about Cordova’s health issues. 

“I outrank you, Captain,” Cordova wheezes.

“And you are at the mercy of my patience. Any hope you had of having Barton play along with your sideshow here you’ve lost. You burned your bridge with Barnes the minute you opened your mouth. They will both gladly watch you suffer at the hands of Duchess,” Steve says calmly. 

“I would be more than happy to help her,” Bucky states, a menacing smile on his face.

“ECV-12 was the culmination of Van Doran’s attempts to make a perfect concentrated version of Erksine’s serum and Zola’s serum. It killed every test subject but one.”

“Duchess,” Natasha says flatly. 

“Correct.”

“Why didn’t it kill her?” Steve questions. 

“Something to do with her genetics,” Cordova manages to say through a coughing fit. Bucky is flipping pages in the dossier again.

“Why her?” Clint demands. “Why not someone - _ anyone  _ \- else?”

“We figured it would be a painful demise for her,” Cordova says simply. Bucky puts the dossier down and goes to stand up, but Steve clamps his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and forces him to stay in the chair. 

“Jesus Christ,” Clint groans.

“Oh, she’s very resilient,” Cordova continues. “After Sergeant Barnes and Duchess’ last encounter with each other, she was left with a fractured skull, a brain bleed, countless broken bones, and internal bleeding.”

Steve sees the pained look on Clint’s face, but that pales in comparison to the tortured look on Bucky’s face. 

“They gave her a second dose,” Bucky says quietly. Steve can hear the anguish in his voice. 

“Why?” Clint fumes as he steps towards Cordova.

“Clint,” Steve says as a warning. Clint stops, but Steve knows it’s only a matter of time before Bucky and Clint both tear Cordova apart. Based on all he’s heard, Steve will turn a blind eye to the carnage. Cordova will get his just desserts. 

“Continue,” Steve tells him. 

“Van Doran gave her the second dose. I wasn’t aware he had until after the fact. It’s the only thing that saved her. And in doing so she has far surpassed even Erksine’s expectations for the serum. She is everything you two are, only perfected.”

Cordova is extremely proud of this fact. 

“You gave her two doses of a highly volatile serum that has killed countless others with just a single dose. What has this done to her? How do you know she’s not a ticking timebomb?”  Natasha demands. 

“We don’t,” Cordova answers and shrugs. “We weren’t concerned with that.”

Both Clint and Bucky move to go after Cordova. Steve holds up his hand to stop them.

“How did you control her, Cordova? What did you do to make her comply?” Steve asks.

“If you’re suggesting we electrocuted her brain as Hydra did with your friend there, the answer is no.”

“Don’t sit there and tell me she willingly did your goddamn bidding!” Clint shouts. Cordova smiles.

“Yes and no.”

“Goddammit!” Bucky roars and pushes past Steve to get to Cordova. Clint and Natasha have to run interference while Steve grapples with Bucky to pull him back. 

“I suggest you answer the goddamn question,” Clint snarls. 

“I simply provided her the necessary motivation,” Cordova answers. Steve has reached his bullshit threshold with Cordova now. 

“Clint, Buck, he’s all yours. Natasha, you and I are taking the intel. We need to find a way to locate Duchess,” he states in as calm of a tone as he can.

Steve sees Bucky and Clint eye Cordova like hungry wolves. 

“Van Doran is dead, most likely at Duchess’ hands. She’s going to respond to bait,” Natasha says looking Cordova in the eyes. 

“What more do you want?” Cordova whines through his wheezing.

“Answer the question. Any more bullshit from you and I leave the room. Whatever happens after that is not my problem,” Steve explains. “Whatever is left of you, I’m sure Duchess will devour.”

“Call them off,” Cordova pleads. 

“Talk, Cordova,” Steve tells him. 

“The decision was made to refrain from the shock and wipe process Hydra used on the Winter Soldier because we didn’t know how that would work with V-12 due to its volatility. Microchipping her wouldn’t work for the same reasons. I manipulated her feelings for her friends by using information I had on you and your family and her friend that was taken into custody the same night she was.”

“You took two of them?’ Steve snaps. Cordova ignores the question.

“I put together dossiers on Agent Barton, her friend Townsend and one on Sergeant Barnes and the little incident that was erased. I never had the opportunity to show her that one. The Townsend and Barton dossiers were enough to keep her in line. Threatening to harm Barton’s family and leaving her Archer to pick up the pieces after we framed her for it was a very good start. She saw your wife and children, Agent Barton. The hurt on her face was priceless. So I introduced her to her friend Townsend’s imaginary family,” Cordova rasps. He stops talking and tries to catch his breath.

“Imaginary?” Steve questions. 

“He’s been dead for years. Sudden heart failure while in prison. We used computer imaging to age him accordingly and then generated his fake family. I showed her your family first, Agent Barton. I showed her your wife, your son and your daughter. I told her they would meet very unfortunate demises and that she would be blamed for it. That panicked her, but not enough. I showed her the images of Townsend and his family. She took the bait and obeyed. She believed we would harm your family and Townsend’s and she obeyed.” 

Steve is beyond disgusted with this asshole. The thought of just walking out of the room with Natasha and leaving Cordova alone with Clint and Buck has crossed his mind more and more frequently. 

“What made her turn on you?” Steve asks. He doesn’t bother covering his agitation. 

“We can only guess. We lost track of her on the last mission she went on. I assumed someone had finally terminated her on the last mission. Our files were hacked. Anything that was not saved outside of the servers has been destroyed. What you see in here is all that’s left. Not long after the warehouse where she was found was obliterated. There is nothing left but ash and dust. Then our bases started going down one after the other. Sometimes days apart, sometimes months. There was no sign of her. Van Doran was hysterical saying it was her. There was no proof…” Cordova starts to cough. 

“What happened with Van Doran?” Clint asks. 

“She showed up at our base of operations at the time. He ordered her to get into the submersion tank. I heard the alarms sound. By the time I got there with more armed security she had slain the others and had Van Doren by the throat.” He stops again and increases his oxygen levels. Steve impatiently motions for him to continue.

“I had to have the guards lower their weapons. She asked about the dossiers. About you, Agent Barton. She asked me about Townsend. I told her what she was doing would force my hand against you and Townsend. She smiled, she was eerily calm. What happened was a blur. She pulled a weapon and shot each of the guards in the head, in succession, before they could react. She asked me about Sergeant Barnes. I told her he was dead. Killed by Captain Rogers during a confrontation. I tried to tell her. The anger on her face radiated to the hand that was around Van Doran’s throat. She twisted her wrist and I heard his neck snap. With one hand she snapped his neck. She was about to come after me when a fleet of my men showed up. When I looked again she was escaping through an air vent. That was the last I saw of her.” Cordova dabs his face with his handkerchief. The room is deathly silent. 

“You reap what you sow,” Clint states in a low voice. 

“You took an innocent girl - my girl - and you…” Bucky can’t finish. 

“You will pay for your crimes, Cordova. Of that I assure you,” Steve vows. “I want all this intel bagged up and I want it taken back for Maria to analyze. Nat, find anything Cordova may be hiding in here from us.”

Natasha smiles pleasantly. Cordova pales that much more. 

“Where was she last spotted?” Natasha asks suddenly. 

“Romania,” Cordova replies absently. Bucky glances questioningly at Steve.

“Why?” Steve asks directing the question to Natasha. She looks over at him and discreetly motions for him to come over. 

“Because she’s not in Romania,” Natasha answers as soon as Steve is close enough. “Look.”

“Where is she now?” Bucky demands of Cordova. Steve looks over his shoulder and sees Bucky is up out of his seat and heading to Cordova. Clint is approaching him from the other direction. They’re like starved wolves hunting wounded prey.

“Let’s throw him down an elevator shaft,” Clint suggests. 

“I like that idea,” Bucky all but purrs. 

“That’s enough,” Steve warns. He looks at what Natasha is showing him. Natasha rewinds the footage on this hidden monitor she found. She presses play and Steve sees Duchess looking up at the security camera for this monitor. Duchess tilts her head and smiles, then walks off. 

“She knows we’re here,” Steve says quietly. “Call Maria. Tell her to send a team to get this place packed up. There’s more here than what he’s telling us. We need to lure her away from Cordova.”

Natasha is on the phone in a flash. She speaks in a language Steve can’t place. 

“Who is she calling? What is she saying?” Cordova demands. Natasha smiles seductively at him. 

“When will you smile like that for me?” Steve whispers to her. She winks at him and goes back to her conversation. 

“What’s going on?” Cordova wheezes. 

“She’s here,” Clint says delightedly. 

“Clint, go outside, see if you can lure her away from the complex. Stay visible, let her see you,” Steve orders. 

“Why him?” Bucky demands angrily. “I’ll go -”

“No, you won’t. I need you to stay here,” Steve tells him. 

“Bullshit,” Bucky argues heading for the door.

“Barnes, if she’s after you for revenge then what?” Steve yells. “You want another fight with her where one or both of you end up dead?”

Cordova is watching this with sick pleasure. 

Bucky stops at the door. 

“Barton,” Bucky says, his voice gravely, “give this to her. See if she remembers.”


	22. Clint's Coffee Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Duchess forces and evac of the building. The four scatter trying to locate her, and Clint crosses paths with her first.

Clint heads out of Cordova’s office, past the biometric bullshit security, past his armed joke of a security force and outside. The fresh air is a relief to his lungs. The circulated air in the building is stale and tastes funny. 

He stops.

“Oh god,” he groans and pulls out his phone. “Get everyone out now! She’s filling the building with CO2!” he yells. 

Clint hears Steve barking orders for everyone to evacuate. He has to try and find Ciara. She’s doing this to force Cordova out into the open.

“Get back here, Barton,” Steve orders. Clint ends the call and looks around.

“Kitty Cat!” he yells. He’s hoping to draw her attention away from the others. He’s not surprised when there’s no answer. He heads back slowly, trying to keep an eye out for her. There’s no movement. 

By the time he’s back around the building, there are swarms of personnel outside. Everyone that’s carrying a weapon has it drawn, and they’re so jumpy they keep aiming at one another. It won’t be a surprise if they start gunning each other down because they’re so goddamn twitchy. 

He has to push past them to try and find Rogers and the others. He finds Natasha first.

“He’s been removed,” she says in Arabic. “She’s still in the vicinity. There are other agents looking for her outside of the complex. They’re fanning out. Which way do you want?”

“North.”

“Stay in contact.”

“Where are the other two?” Clint asks. Natasha nods her head East and then her eyes dart to the West. Rogers and Barnes have separated to go looking for her, putting Barnes at risk if she doesn’t remember him. 

Clint pushes past the trigger happy whackjobs that Cordova kept. None of them are SHIELD. There’s no discipline, no sense of composure.

“Idiots,” Clint mutters. He heads North till he’s well beyond the complex. There’s a shanty little town up ahead. She probably already knows Cordova is gone and is just biding her time. Or she’s hunting Buck. Maybe she’s hunting him. That scares him. As badly as he wants to see her again, he doesn’t know how much of the girl he’d fallen for is left. 

He heads to the little run down coffee shop and waits in line. He can feel he’s being watched. He doesn’t look around. He wants her to know she’s there. Obviously, the way he’s dressed right now makes him stand out like a sore thumb. 

He looks at the menu on the wall. Coffee shop his ass. 

“I don’t suppose you’ve got anything that resembles a double espresso?” he asks. The old man behind the counter looks at him evenly.

“Coffee. Black or with cream and sugar. Don’t be a wiseass.”

Clint smiles. He likes the old man’s no-nonsense attitude.

“Alright, coffee, two creams, one sugar.”

“You want that in a cup or you want it to go?” the old man asks.

“To go.”

The old man nods and gets pours the coffee into an insulated cup, adds some creamer from what appears to be a pewter pitcher from the 1900s, dumps a pack of sugar in and puts a lid on it and hands it to Clint.

“That’ll be $1.25.”

Clint hands him a ten and tells him to keep the change. He swirls the cup around trying to mix the contents together and heads outside.

“Do you always torment the elderly? Archer.”

Clint stops midstride. He looks in the direction of the voice. Ciara is sitting at one of the outdoor tables in the shade of a large umbrella. Her face is obscured by a hat and the shade of the umbrella. 

“Not always,” he says. “Mind if I join you?” 

“You’re drawing attention to us.” There’s a hint of playfulness in her voice that is unsettling. 

“What would you suggest?”

“Three blocks north, tobacco Sam.”

She gets up and walks away. 

He waits for a moment before heading that direction with the utmost caution. She could be setting him up. 

He sees the building she was referring to. It’s abandoned, the windows boarded up, part of the facade has crumbled into the street. 

“For fuck's sake,” he grouses. He heads inside. She’s not on the first floor. He heads up the stairs to the second. She’s not there, either. He moves to the third. The stairs have deteriorated and this floor is exposed to the elements, the front of the building having disintegrated. 

“You’re getting warmer.”

He looks around but doesn’t see her. 

“Kitty Cat.”

“Warmer.”

He moves closer to the sound of her voice. 

“You’ve slowed down.” 

She’s taunting him. He grins. He takes out the extra earpiece he keeps on him. He opens the channel. 

“Alright, Kitty Cat, calm your nerves.” He turns the corner and sees a little room that at one time had been a kitchen. She’s sitting at the decrepit table with her own coffee, watching him as he walks into the room. 

“Toasty.”

“This is your thing?” he asks looking around.

“Would you have preferred the Ritz?” she asks playfully. Her eyes sparkle. They’re the same stormy color, but now they harbor a darkness to them. The eyes are the window to the soul and her’s has been tainted. 

“Is it safe to assume you remember me?” Clint asks. He takes a seat across from her. She smiles.

“You know that I do. Who else called you Archer?”

“No one that meant anything.”

“I’m glad to see you’re doing well. You look good.” 

“Are you flirting with me?” he asks trying to make a joke. Her smile fades. 

“You almost screwed yourself out of everything, Archer. Over some dumb cunt you didn’t even know.”

“A. You aren’t a cunt. I fucking hate that word. B. I was going to leave her for you. I have regretted not doing so for years.” He’s surprised how easily this comes out and how frightening it is to hear it out loud. She studies him for a moment.

“So you were flirting.”

“Clever girl. Make me rat myself out. Very nice,” he says a little surprised by her ruse. “You knew?” he asks.

“I had an idea. The soft touches, the makeup gifts for when you’d launch into a tirade about how you can do so much better…”

That hurts. He looks down in shame. 

“Why didn’t you say something? Call me out on my shit?”

“Because you told me you weren’t flirting. Given the situation I was in it seemed foolish for me to contradict you.”

Clint rubs his face, the regret he has eating him alive now. 

“Mistakes were made. I am so sorry -”

“Where are you taking Cordova?” she asks waving away his apology.

“Ciara -”

“Is dead, Clint. Let’s not bullshit each other. I’m glad you’re alive. I’m glad they,” she motions to his heart, “are alive. That’s been the only satisfaction I’ve had in all this.”

“I know what he and Van Doran did to you. I know they hurt you. You can’t keep hunting them down like this,” he says calmly. 

“Not forever, no. I’ll die sooner as opposed to later. But I plan on making every one of those fucks suffer. Cordova especially will suffer. My best friend has been dead for years. Years. He slew two of my other very close friends. All of the people I have ever loved are dead, married or have forgotten I ever existed.”

  
  
  
  
  



	23. Duchess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has a chat and finds that this won't be as easy as he'd hoped.

Clint reaches into his pocket and puts his closed fist on the table.

“If you’re referring to him,” he says sliding his fist across the table, opening it and depositing the dog tag in front of her, “he’s alive and well.”

He sees Ciara reach for the dog tag, but she hesitates. 

“I know he’s alive, Archer. I’ve seen him.”

Clint knows that if Bucky’s hearing this he’s going apeshit right now.

“How is he?” she asks, running her fingers over the dog tag. “How is he holding up?”

“Taking it day by day. Doing his best to cope. You can ask him yourself -”

The look she gives him silences him.

“No. Leave him alone.”

“He asked you to marry him.”

“Steve told you that.”

“No, actually, Barnes told me that when I handed him the dog tag.”

She’s shaking her head no as he speaks.

“Stop.”

“You gave me the dog tag when you came back. He proposed to you. That’s why he couldn’t kill you when he was brainwashed by Hydra -”

“STOP!” she snaps and slams her hand down on the table so hard the wood splinters. 

“Ciara -”

“Is dead, Archer. Cordova and Van Doran saw to most of that.”

“Who saw to the rest, Kitty Cat?” he asks gently. The hurt she’s suffered is starting to show now. She doesn’t answer. 

“Give this back to him. It’s not mine anymore.”

“What happened to the rest?” he asks keeping that same gentle tone. She runs her fingers over the dog tag once more and then slides it back across the table to Clint. 

“What happened with you and Bucky when you saw him in Romania?”

Cordova had said her last known location was there. How long ago was that? Was that her last mission before they lost control? How long has she been rogue?

Now he can see the pain clearly on her face. When she looks at him her eyes are full of anguish. 

“It doesn’t matter -”

“It does matter. To me, it matters. Humor me.”

“It does not matter,” she says again more aggressively this time. 

“The fuck it doesn’t,” he fires back. She glares at him and she sheds her jacket and rolls up her sleeve. The veins in her arms are inked in black starting at her wrist and going up to her elbow. At first he thinks it’s a tattoo, but he sees it’s below the skin. Her veins are black and clearly visible through her skin.

“Ciara, what the hell is this?” he asks reaching for her. She takes her arm from him before he can touch her.

“My death sentence. Cordova’s last laugh.”

“We can take you to Banner and get this fixed...whatever it is,” Clint vows. 

“I don’t want it fixed, Archer. I want to die.”

Clint can’t find the words to argue with this statement, he’s appalled to the point of speechlessness. 

“Let Barnes live his life. Let him forget.”

“He didn’t forget!” Clint snaps. “You know what it’s like to have a weapon of mass destruction glare at you when you talk about his fiancee? Of which I was unaware of this fact until a few hours ago."

“And do you know what it’s like searching for the man you love only to find him and him not have any fucking clue who you are? No recognition at all? You want to know what happened to the last piece of me? I found him in Romania. He walked past me half a dozen times in as many days. I ran into him, literally, as he was walking one way and I the other. He looked right at me, right in the fucking eyes, and told me to be more careful. Don’t sit there and tell me I have to believe you that he remembers me. Don’t fucking sit there and lie to me and tell me that you and your fucking cronies can fix this. I don’t want to live, Agent Barton. Once I’ve completed my last task, I will fade away into the background and die.”

 


	24. Bucky Finds and Loses Ciara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky hears the conversation between Clint and Ciara. He doesn't remember seeing her in Romania and that is destroying him, and has already destroyed her it seems.

Bucky was on his way to Clint as soon as he heard Ciara’s voice. He was stopped by Steve and forced to wait.

“Let him talk to her. If we go busting in there she may panic and run or worse,” Steve tells him. “Do you want that to happen? Do you want her to run or kill Clint or me or you?”

“She won’t kill me, Steve,” Bucky says firmly.

“Just...wait,” Steve says.

“We go to the building -”

“You’re pressing your luck, jerk. Come on,” Steve says giving in. He and Steve approach the building cautiously as Clint talks to Ciara.

Bucky hears her ask about him. She remembers. Relief washes over him and he pushes further into the building followed by Steve, moving as quietly as they can.

They’re at the bottom of the second floor when he hears Clint ask her what something is. He hears her say it’s her death sentence and Clint telling her Banner can fix it. They’re creeping up the stairs when she recounts what happened in Romania. She had come looking for him. She had run into him and he didn’t recognize her.

Bucky’s world spins out of focus. He feels Steve grab his arm and lower him into a seated position on the stairs. She found him. Why can't he remember this? What happened? He should have recognized her…why doesn’t he remember this??

“Buck. Snap out of it,” Steve growls and gives him a hard shake. The world comes back into focus. “We have to go get her.”

They head up the second flight of stairs and then carefully up the third. He can hear her voice. He hears the voice of the woman he loves and he’s struggling to keep from running to her. He would have remembered her if he had seen her...wouldn’t he?

“He’s been through a lot of shit, Kitty. Hydra wasn’t exactly gentle to that head of his. Cordova said they would do what he called shock and wipe -”

“I’m aware of what they did to him. You caught me with the laptop, remember?”

“You hacked Hydra?”

Bucky and Steve both stop, just as shocked by this as Clint sounds.

“Yeah.”

“Kitty Cat...let us help you…”

“Help me what, Archer? Kill Cordova? I don’t see that happening. Find the missing piece of the Black Knight the one remaining scientist hid before he died? I doubt you’ll do that either.”

“Save you, you asshole,” Clint snaps.

“There is only one way to save me. Find the Black Knight, go back in time and put a bullet right between my eyes.”

Bucky has heard enough.

“Buck, don’t!” Steve hisses.

“Ciara,” Bucky says bursting into the room. She stands up. Her dark red hair is longer, pulled back from her face, her lips are still the pale pink, her eyes still shine like distant stars, albeit much, much more distant.

“Let us help you,” Steve begins. Bucky steps past him, closer to Ciara. She doesn’t flinch, but her eyes are cold and hard.

“Ciara, I remember you. Whatever happened in Romania -”

She turns her head slowly to look at Hawkeye.

“Et tu, Archer?” she asks frigidly.

“Kitty Cat -”

There’s smoke suddenly, thick and gray, choking them all.

“Ciara,” Bucky coughs as he tries to see through the smoke cloud. “Ciara! Wait!”

“Ciara!” he hears Barton yell.

There’s too much smoke, it’s getting hard to breathe. Steve is pushing he and Barton from the room and back down the stairs.

Once they’re on the second floor Barton is on the phone.

“She’s out of the building,” he coughs. “I don’t know, Nat. Get eyes up,” he coughs harder and hands the phone to Steve who is rubbing his eyes trying to get the smoke out of them. Bucky caught lungfuls of it and is near wretching from coughing so hard.

“Natasha, get a team to sweep the area. Do not engage. She’s hostile -”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bucky barks hoarsely.

“Don’t tell them that!” Clint rasps.

“She’s not hostile, but do not engage and make her hostile,” Steve snaps as he rubs his eyes with his free hand. “Satisfied?” he yells at Bucky and Clint.

They stagger outside and try to gulp in the fresh air.

“I need a medic!” Bucky hears Natasha yell. He starts coughing again and this time does end up wretching. Clint’s doing the same. Whatever was in the smoke bomb she dropped is doing a number on the three of them.

The medic arrives and treats them for smoke inhalation from something akin to being inside a four-alarm fire. They had to treat Steve’s eyes several times, give Bucky and Barton oxygen and give Bucky something to get him to stop coughing.

“Where’s Natasha?” Steve asks still holding a cold rag to his eyes. No one seems to know.

  



	25. Natasha Finds Duchess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha tries to convince Duchess to let them help and that Bucky remembers her.

Natasha sits back and waits. Ciara just entered the coffee shop and disappeared into the kitchen. There are two floors - the shop and what looks like apartments above it. She goes around back and finds the outside entrance to the apartments. 

She slinks up the stairs, weapon drawn, highly alert, watching and listening for any movement. She gets to the top of the stairs and feels a hand wrap around her throat from behind and squeeze the air out of her throat. 

“This was rather stupid, Romanov. I should kill you just on principle.” The grip tightens that much more. 

“I...came to...talk,” she gasps. She drops the weapon and puts her hands up. 

“You’re a goddamn liar.”

The grip tightens again and Natasha feels the unmistakable feel of a blade placed strategically just behind her underarm. She plans on ripping into the Axillary artery. 

“Just...talk…”Natasha gasps as her vision starts to blur. “No...no tricks.”

The grip on her throat releases and she’s shoved to the floor. 

“You do anything even remotely suspicious and I’ll gut you and leave you for the stray dogs. Get up.”

Natasha pushes herself up and turns around slowly. 

“Someplace in here that’s private?”

Duchess studies her. 

“What the fuck do you want?”

“A drink,” she says rubbing her throat. Duchess points to the door at the end of the hall. Natasha walks in that direction. She opens the door and Duchess follows her inside. It’s a simplistic apartment, something that looks like it was furnished back in the early seventies. 

Duchess points to the fridge.

“Bottled water. The freezer has vodka. Not the cheap American shit either.”

Natasha smiles. 

“Vodka sounds good.”

“Get it, don’t act cute, Romanov. Barton pissed me off already.”

That was a warning. Duchess puts glasses on the table and Natasha gets the vodka from the freezer. It’s unopened. Natasha opens it and pours them each some. 

“What do you want, Romanov?” Duchess asks as she raises the glass to her lips.

“To try and talk you out of this homicidal suicide run you’re on mostly. There’s a place for you with us. Just like I have a place, just like Barnes has a place. Even after what we’ve done. It doesn’t have to end like this.”

“End like what?” Duchess asks calmly. She downs the glass and pours herself more. 

“With someone dying unnecessarily.”

“The only ones who will die are the ones who deserve it. Provided you and yours stay out of my way,” Duchess states in a very matter of fact tone.

“We can’t let that happen. Even if Cordova does deserve death - which I am in complete agreement with you he does - this isn’t the way to go about it.”

“You’re suggesting I just roll over and die?” Natasha can hear the animosity creeping into Duchess’ voice.

“I didn’t say that. He needs to be tried for his crimes -”

Duchess laughs meanly. 

“Is that what you think will happen? You’ll take that fucking monster into custody and set him before a jury of his peers and let the justice system do its thing? I’ve given you too much credit, Romanov. I was under the impression you were smarter than that. I feel like I’ve been slighted.”

“Were you like this with Barton?”

No answer. Duchess downs her drink and pours more. 

“I know you weren’t like this with Barnes.”

Duchess slams the glass down so hard on the table it shatters into a million little pieces of crystal. 

“I will tell you the same goddamn thing I told Barton - leave that man alone. Let him live his fucking life.”

“He remembers you -”

“ _ GODDAMMIT! _ ” Duchess roars, flipping the table over and forcing Natasha into a defensive position. “He doesn’t fucking remember me,” she snarls.

“He does!” 

“ENOUGH!” she yells. “He’s reciting the bullshit you fucks fed him. He only remembers Steve. I wasn’t worth remembering.”

Natasha is shocked to hear this.

“Duchess...he does remember -”

“Your time in my good graces has run out. If you plan on surviving the next ten seconds I suggest you run,” Duchess warns in a voice that is a low growl. Natasha foolishly hesitates and Duchess kicks the table at her with such force that if Natasha had not jumped out of the way the table leg would have impaled her. 

“He remembers you, Ciara. Think about that before you do anything else,” Natasha yells as she heads away from Duchess’ fury. 


	26. May The Best Man Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha starts a conversation that sets Bucky thinking about the past. He goes to Clint with the hardest question of all.

Bucky sits on his bed back at base. He looks at the red notebook, the one he’s dedicated solely to her. He’s consumed by his emotions right now. Seeing her face to face after a lifetime and then the hazy dreams…

There’s a knock on the door. 

“What.”

“Cordial as ever,” Natasha says walking in. Bucky looks up at her. 

“What is it?” He’s in no mood for anything right now.

“How are you doing?” she asks. She’s looking at the notebook on the bed. 

“How do you think I’m doing? I’m falling the fuck apart, Natasha.”

“What do you remember about her? Honestly. Do you remember her at all?”

He glares at her.

“Before you flip shit on me and launch a piece of furniture at me like she did - she doesn’t believe you remember her. She thinks whatever you know about her was force fed to you by Steve, myself, possibly Clint. She says you only remember the one worth remembering, and that isn’t her.”

He picks up the notebook and fights back the tears. 

“I remember her, Natasha. It may be hazy in places, some of it might be...might be missing, but I remember her.”

There’s another knock on the door. Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“Jesus fucking...what?” Bucky yells. Steve pushes the door open and walks in carrying takeout food.

“You need to eat, jerk. Come on. You, too, Natasha. I got some for you.”

“Did you?” she asks mischievously. The grin on Steve’s face is nauseating.

“Get a fucking room,” Bucky growls. He snatches a bag from Steve’s hand and walks out of the room.

“That would be the idea,” Natasha replies. 

“Stop,” Steve laughs. 

They head to the dining room and sit down. Bucky picks at his for a while before trying to eat. He doesn’t have much of an appetite. 

“Buck, eat,” Steve chides him. “What did you do to him?” he asks Natasha. 

“You can sleep by yourself,” she answers. 

“Boom,” Bucky mutters through a mouthful of food. Steve nods his head, a look of irritation on his face.

“Buck...what do you remember about Ciara?” Natasha asks slowly. Steve chokes on his drink. Bucky slaps him on the back and gives Natasha a cold look.

“Why are we back on this?” Bucky demands.

“Good question,” Steve says as he wipes his mouth. 

“I’m curious.”

“I remember bits and pieces mostly, Natasha. That’s it,” Bucky says getting up, cleaning up his mess and walking away. 

He heads back to his room, sits on the bed and looks at the red notebook. He remembers the day he met her. He picks up the notebook and runs his hand over the cover. He remembers Ciara running into him and how he had to catch her to keep her from falling down. He remembers walking around with her either on his arm or his arm around her. He remembers their first kiss. He remembers the changing room and making love to her and how goddamn good it felt with her and how softly she moaned his name. He remembers proposing to her. He had given her the dog tag to hold on to until he could come back…

“Modern Marvel’s Pavillion,” he mutters. He gets up and heads out of the room to find Clint. 

Clint is in the training room working off some pent up aggression. Bucky wonders if it’s that or sexual frustration. Bucky got the chance to love her, Clint did not. That’s not why he’s here, though. 

“Barton.”

“What?”

“I need some information.”

“About Ciara or Duchess?”

“Yes.”

Clint puts the bow down and scratches his back with the arrow he has. 

“Ask, but don’t get pissed off at the answers you get.”

“What did you see that you suggested Banner look at?” Bucky asks. Clint sighs. 

“She’s dying, Buck. Maria and Fury are all over Cordova to get the cure. As of right now, he insists there isn’t one.”

“What was it?” Bucky asks.

“I don’t know. Her veins look like they have black ink in them.”

“Where is Cordova now?” 

Clint laughs.

“No idea. I’m no longer allowed access to that information. My guess is that you won’t have access, either.”

“That’s bullshit,” Bucky grumbles.

“Not arguing that.”

Bucky is quiet for a moment. 

“Did you love her?”

“I don’t want to go down this road with you, Barnes,” Clint says picking the bow back up. 

“It’s a fair question.”

“Is it?” Clint asks drawing the bow and firing the arrow. He hits the center of the bullseye. No surprise there. 

“Did you ever…”

Clint hangs his head and shakes it.

“What is the point with these questions? And no, Buck, I never touched her like that. I never kissed her. But I will tell you this,” he says turning around to face Bucky again, “I regret not doing so.”

“If she comes around, Clint, what will you do?”

“Do you want me to lie to you?” 

“Negative.”

“I’m back on the market. If the opportunity presents itself I’ll make a move, Buck. I expect you to do the same. Let her choose.”

“The best man wins,” Bucky says gruffly.

“Best man wins,” Clint states and goes back to his arrows. 

 


	27. Debating

Ciara sits on the train staring out of the window at the blur of passing scenery. Seeing Bucky again has fucked up her plans. Hearing him say her name had torn at her heart. But it was what Archer and Widow had been so incessant about that is weighing on her mind and tearing at her soul. 

_ He remembers you. _

That’s not possible. She had found him, after months of searching, after finding out that Gabe was dead and everything else about Gabe was a lie, she had gone searching for Bucky. She had watched him, trying to put his life back together, trying to pick up the pieces and rebuild his life. She had followed him back to the tiny little apartment he was staying in. She had waited till he left to go inside and look around. It broke her heart. The cot with the sleeping bag, the mismatched utensils in the jug on the counter, the notebook under the candy bars on the fridge...he was trying so hard. It hurt her so much to see this, to think that if she had found a way to stay, or found a way to save him or if he had just  _ fucking listened about the train _ …

She had made up her mind to confront him. If he had recognized her while he was still under Hydra’s control he would damn sure know her now. They could start over. They could run away and find someplace to try and start a family again…

She absently presses her hand to her belly. Cordova had forced her to abort the son Bucky had given her, the pain still lingers from that loss, but maybe they could try again and have a family and be happy and…

After six days of him walking by her without so much as a second glance, she had tried a new tactic and intentionally run into him. The look in his eyes had left her dumbfounded. He had no idea who she was, not even a vague concept. He had moved on without a second glance. She was so hurt by this she had to lean on one of the street lights to hold herself up. That’s when she realized it was all a fantasy that would never play out. She was dying, Bucky didn’t know her, and Clint had his own family to contend with. Gabe was dead. She was alone. 

Her goal had become to exact revenge until she was on her last breath. 

Seeing the Avengers at Cordova’s latest hideout had been a surprise, not at all unpleasant. Seeing Clint after so long had made her smile. Seeing Bucky had hurt, but he was back with Steve and he was making the most of his life again, and that helped dull the pain, but only just. 

She had heard Clint yell the pet name he’d given her. She had a suspicion at least one of them would go looking for her in that little town. What she had not counted on was the ferocity in which Clint and Natasha held to the fact that Bucky remembered her, or seeing him again after that fateful day in Romania. She sits on the train, flipping the dog tag she’d taken back from Clint between her fingers. She stops suddenly and looks at the dog tag. James Buchanan Barnes. 

What if Clint and Natasha are telling the truth? 

The dog tag reflects the light coming in from the window. 

_ “Hold onto this...when I get back we’ll exchange it for a ring.” _

The tears well up in her eyes. 

_ “Come back here and wait for me...the fifteenth of every month, I’ll find you here.” _

The Modern Marvel’s Pavillion. Today is the fourteenth.  __


	28. Bucky Finds Ciara Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been over seventy years since Bucky and Ciara parted ways with a promise and the start of a new life growing inside Ciara. Now they're back in the promised location.

“Where are you going?” Steve asks. 

“Out. I have a standing appointment I need to keep,” Bucky says as he throws a change of clothes into a bag. 

“Standing appointment?” Steve repeats questioningly.  Bucky grabs the red notebook and debates for a moment as to whether or not to take it with him. 

“Ciara?” Steve asks. “Do you know where she is? Buck, if you know -”

“I don’t know, Steve. I’m taking a shot in the dark. I promised her that I would meet her at the Modern Marvel’s Pavilion on the fifteenth of every month. Tomorrow is the fifteenth. Maybe...like I said it’s a shot in the dark.”

“I’m going with you. Don’t leave without me,” Steve orders. 

“This doesn’t involve you, Steve.”

“You told me if I was there I could be the best man, so it does involve me,” Steve corrects him. Bucky grins a little. Steve runs out of the room. Bucky finishes packing, but there’s something missing. 

“Buck?”

“I don’t have my uniform anymore,” Bucky says flatly. “I was going to meet her in my uniform so she’d know it’s me.”

“Buck, you know as well as I do she’ll recognize you without the dress browns.”

Bucky looks at his bag. He doesn’t have a ring, he doesn’t have the proper attire...he doesn’t know if she’ll be there. 

“You don’t have to go along, kid. This is a long shot at best. She may not even be there -”

“But you seem to believe - on some level - that she will be. I can’t let you do this alone.”

“Don’t say anything to the others, Steve. I don’t want to scare her off. I don’t want her to think we’re doing a live capture like you did with me.”

“I had no choice in that, Buck. You know that. I had to get to you before they killed you. If we can’t get her to come willingly...would you rather the alternative? She’s dying and we’re running out of time.”

“Let’s go,” Bucky tells him. It’s almost five pm. Bucky plans on being at the Pavilion starting at midnight and staying till the following midnight. He plans on doing this every month on the fifteenth in hopes she’ll show up eventually.

They arrive just after seven and check into a hotel nearby. The whole area has changed from when Bucky was here seventy-some years ago. The hotel has only one available room which Bucky and Steve find hard to believe. At least it has two beds…

They open the door to the room and are taken back in time to the mid-forties. The wear and tear on everything is evident, not surprising based on the age of the things in the room. The only modern thing in the room is a fat, squat TV from the late seventies. Bucky and Steve look at each other and then step inside. 

“Wow,” Steve muses as he looks around. 

“I’d say we stepped into a time warp, but this shit looks like it went through the war and got shipped back via German missile,” Bucky grumps. 

“It looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since at least then,” Steve says looking grossed out. Bucky peels the covers back on the bed. Surprisingly the sheets look crisp and clean and relatively new. No stains on them or the pillows as far as he can see. 

“That’s a plus,” he mutters. 

“Clean sheets?” Steve asks as he pulls the covers back on his bed. “Thank god,” he says when he sees the sheets. 

Bucky throws his bag onto the shoddy looking table, sits on the bed, and stretches out. 

“How do you want to do this, Buck?” Steve asks as he lays across his bed on his stomach and shuts his eyes. 

“You tired, kid?”

“Man, I’m beat. I just want to sleep for a week,” Steve admits. 

“Yeah. I just want to get Ciara.”

Bucky sees Steve open his eyes, and can clearly see the sorrow he has for Bucky and Ciara. 

“I know, Buck. I know. I hope we can get her back to base and get this shit cleared up. What’s the plan?”

“I’m going there at midnight tonight. I”m staying until midnight tomorrow,” Bucky states. 

“Where do you want me?”

“Close, but out of sight. She probably won’t be bothered by you so much. She knew you, too.”

“Don’t give up,” Steve says and closes his eyes again. “Time travel is a hell of a thing I guess.”

“She made you blush so bad, kid.” 

Steve doesn’t open his eyes, but Bucky sees him grin. 

“First time a pretty dame ever voluntarily touched me.”

“Jesus, did you change your shorts after that?” Bucky teases. Now Steve opens his eyes.

“How long did it take you to get the stains out of your uniform?” Steve retaliates.

“I took it off before we got started, smart ass. Wasn’t a stain to be found. The chaise, however…”

Steve makes a gagging noise and Bucky laughs. 

“Never understood how you could get the dames to just drop their panties by smiling at them,” Steve says closing his eyes again. 

“You make it sound like I was getting laid daily.”

“You weren’t?” Steve taunts.

“Ha. Very funny. She was the first time in a few weeks -”

“A few weeks?!” 

Steve’s eyes are wide open now. Bucky laughs. 

“You are such a shithead,” Steve grumbles. “What are you going to do if you see her, Buck?”

“Take her to an all-night venue, get married, start a family.”

“Seriously?” 

“No, Steve, no. I don’t know if she’s aware of the miscarriage yet. If she is...I don’t know how to talk to her about that. I don’t know what to say. Hell, I don’t know what to say when I see her,” Bucky admits.

“Stick with what you know. How’d you win her over to begin with?” Steve asks through a yawn. 

“She ran into me so hard she bounced off of me and damn near fell on her ass,” Bucky says with a smile. 

“I remember you telling me that. You caught her.”

“And I didn’t let her go, kid. I couldn't. I gave her all the best lines I had right there, kissed her hand...that’s about the time she called me out on my lines. I asked her if they were working. When she said she wasn’t sure I told her we should walk around together until they started to.”

“You won her over like that,” Steve laughs. “Oh god, I’m so tired…”

“Fuck off,” Bucky laughs and throws a pillow at Steve’s face. Steve takes the pillow, puts it under his face and closes his eyes again. He’s out a few minutes later. Bucky lets him rest. Steve’s been non-stop since god knows when. He gets almost no downtime. None of them do. They have to escape like he and Steve have done just to get some peace and quiet. 

Bucky scoots down on the bed and sets an alarm on the phone for 10:45 pm. He puts a pillow over his eyes and dozes off. 

He dreams of Ciara in a white dress, her body is still, her hands folded over her breasts. He looks around. Steve and Natasha are there, heads hung low. Clint is there, glaring at him. 

“You let her die,” he snarls as he draws his bow. “You let her die and now I’m going to send you to Hell.” 

Bucky snaps awake drenched in sweat. 

“Buck?”

“I’m alright, Steve. I’m...yeah.”

“NIghtmare?”

“Always. I’m going to get in the shower.”

He heads to the bathroom and is horrified at the Pepto pink color on the tiles, tub, and sink. 

“Oh god,” he groans.

“What?” Steve yells. Bucky pushes the bathroom door open and steps back into the room with a horrified look on his face. Steve’s curiosity gets the better of him and he walks over. 

“It looks like a pink nightmare,” he says in absolute disgust. “Didn’t that broad Maggie have a bathroom like this?”

“Yeah. I think I was just as mortified then as I am now.”

“Turn the lights off and take a shower in the dark,” Steve suggests. Bucky gives him a chagrined look. 

“Get out,” he says pushing Steve out of the bathroom. Steve grunts and pulls the door shut behind him. Bucky turns the water on in the shower and steps inside. 

He comes out just as his alarm on his phone his going off. Steve is awake and sitting on the bed waiting for him. 

“I’ll be done in five,” he tells Steve. Steve nods. Bucky shuts the alarm off and finishes up in the bathroom. The two men head out shortly thereafter. 

They get to the area that once held the Modern Marvels Pavilion. It’s a desolate, abandoned area, full of trash and covered in graffiti. Neither of them say anything, there isn’t anything really to say. A piece of their mutual past lies in ruins before them. A piece of one of the happier moments of their lives is in tatters from being disregarded for decades. 

“Where to?” Steve asks. The ancient street lights flicker above them. 

“Doesn’t matter. Stay in contact. If you see her -”

“I’ll let you know before I engage her, Buck. Unless she leaves me no choice.”

“Don’t hurt her, Steve. I don’t think she’ll hurt us.”

“I hope for our sakes you’re right,” Steve says walking off. Bucky heads in the opposite direction.

It’s been hours since Bucky and Steve arrived at the Pavilion. The sun is rising and the decay around them has become that much more visible. 

“Anything?” Steve had asked about an hour ago.

“Negative.”

“Same.”

Bucky is sitting on a splintered bench listening to his stomach growl. He’s hungry, he’s tired, he’s cold...but he’s not giving up. Something inside won’t let him walk away from here. Not yet. 

He gets up and starts walking again. He stuffs his hands in his coat pockets. The dog tag is in his right hand now. He can feel the letters on it. He holds it tightly as he makes his way toward the end of the pavilion. He’s more than a little surprised to see the dressing rooms are still standing. Some of them just barely, but there they are. 

“Oh my god,” he mutters. There is the one that he and Ciara consummated their love. The door is warped and sitting crooked inside the frame. He walks over and then stops. Memories of the time they spent in there wash over him. He can smell her, he can hear her, he can feel her all around him suddenly. He opens the door carefully. He’s beyond disappointed when he doesn’t see her inside. Only a ragged mess that looks like the dogs of hell have spawned inside. 

“I’m surprised it’s still standing.”

Bucky recognizes the voice immediately. 

“Ciara.” He turns around and sees her standing several feet away. She’s in a heavy coat with the hood pulled up. 

“Hello, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Bucky,” he corrects her. He takes a step toward her. She tenses but doesn’t move.

“It took this long to get leave?”

She’s making a joke. There is still some of Ciara in there. He smiles. 

“Red tape. Lots and lots of red tape,” he says playing along. He sees the hint of a smile on her face. 

“You couldn’t just go to your Captain and tell him you needed time off? I’m sure he’d have granted it.”

He grins. 

“He had to come save my ass. Twice, at least, so asking for leave seemed like pushing it,” he tells her. “Still don’t know how that punk outranks me.”

This makes her laugh. It’s the same laugh he had first heard seventy years ago. 

“It’s not who you know, it’s who you blow,” she laughs.

“Dear god don’t tell him that, you’ll offend his delicate sensibilities.”

She laughs that much more. Bucky’s so happy to hear her laugh, to see her smile, but his heart is pounding because this isn’t a social call. Running away isn’t an option. He owes Steve his life and Ciara is….

“How are you feeling, Ciara?” he asks changing the tone of the conversation. The smile fades from her lips. 

“Fine, Sergeant Barnes.” Her tone is very businesslike now. 

“Bucky. Remember? It’s Bucky.”

He sees the hurt look on her face.

“I remember, but you don’t remember me,” she says shaking her head. 

“That’s not true. I’m here. I remember you, beautiful. I remember everything about that day -”

“Stop, Sergeant Barnes,” she says cutting him off. “Don’t lie to me. I saw you…” she bites her lower lip and the words just stop.

“In Romania. I know, doll. I heard you tell Clint...I didn’t recognize you. Not at first. What you didn’t see when you walked away was me turning around to look at you as you were leaning on the light pole, trying to hold yourself together. I was such a fucking mess, Ciara...I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t focus on how I knew you and why it hurt so goddamn much seeing you. You didn’t see me run from there, back to the hole I was living in…and when I got there I could smell you, the scent of your perfume faint in the air, the few things you had touched...like this,” he says trying to keep his composure. He pulls the red notebook out of his coat. 

She’s shaking her head no. He can see the hurt look on her face. He takes another step towards her. He can see her eyes are shining from her tears. 

“I remember you, Ciara. I never truly forgot you. What happened in Romania...please, look, baby,” he pleads as he holds the notebook out to her. She wipes her eyes, but she doesn’t move. He puts the notebook on the ground and slides it across the ground to her. She looks at it for a moment before stooping down to pick it up. She opens it and begins to flip through the pages. He sees the pain and anguish on her face. The tears come in a steady stream now as she continues to turn the pages. Bucky closes the gap between them and pulls her into his arms and holds her tight. She puts her arms around him and cries. 


	29. The Capturing of Ciara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD never fails to ruin a good time.

Bucky holds Ciara as she cries. The tears fall from his own eyes. After seven decades she’s back in his arms. All the shit that has happened has led them here. 

“I can’t stay, Bucky,” she whispers as she settles down. Bucky freezes.

“I’m not letting you go -”

“I have to finish this,” she says looking up at him. “It has to end.”

“It will. Don’t die trying to get to him. Let it go. Come back with me. We’ll start over. Clean slates for us both,” Bucky tells her in hopes she’ll agree. 

“They won’t do that for me, Buck. You had no control. They used... _ other _ methods to make me do things.”

“They robbed you, Ciara. The means are different, but the end result is the same.”

“They robbed us of more than you know, Bucky. They took our son,” she says taking his hand and pressing it to her stomach. “We were robbed of our son.”

Bucky can’t fight the tears anymore. 

“Cordova and Van Doran forced the miscarriage with the serum. I know what they did -”

“Then you have to let me finish this,” she interjects. “That was our son!”

“I can’t. I can’t lose you again.”

She shakes her head.

“I’m dying, Buck. You’re going to lose me regardless. It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me!” he snaps. “I didn’t propose to you and make love to you and beg you to meet me here just for the hell of it. I didn’t spare your life while I was under Hydra’s control for shits and giggles, Ciara. You and Steve are all I have.”

“It’s too late, Buck,” she says softly. “I don’t have much time.” She takes off her coat and pulls up her sleeve. Bucky can see the inky blackness outlining her veins. 

“Bruce. We’ll go to Bruce and he can fix this…”

She’s shaking her head no. 

“It’s too late…” She stops talking and tilts her head. The sorrow in her eyes gives way to animosity and danger. 

“Ciara?”

Bucky looks over his shoulder.

“Steve, what the fuck?” he growls as he taps the earpiece. Ciara’s eyes are full of fury. 

“You set me up. It’s all lies,” she hisses. She pushes him away with such force he staggers back a few steps. 

“No, Ciara! I swear to god -”

“SHIELD is inbound on your location, Buck. They’re all over the place here -”

“Who told them?!”

“I don’t know,” Steve says. Bucky sees him running towards them. Ciara is glaring at him. They’re being swarmed by armed agents and now there’s a warbird hovering above them.

“You son of a bitch,” Ciara growls. “You sandbagged me. And I fell for your fucking garbage…”

“Hands up, Duchess!” the agents yell as they begin to flank her and Bucky and Steve. 

“Stand down!” Steve yells.

“Back the fuck up!” Bucky roars. 

“Out of your hands, Sergeant Barnes,” one agent tells him. 

“Hands on your head, on your knees now, Duchess!” another agent yells. 

“You lied.” 

“Stand down, goddammit!” Steve orders. 

“I didn’t lie, Ciara! This wasn’t supposed to happen! We came alone -”

“DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW!” 

There’s so much movement it’s a blur of black-clad agents. Bucky is grabbed by some of the agents, as is Steve as they are forcibly attempted to be removed. Bucky and Steve push them off, but it’s too late. Ciara has already incapacitated or killed at least ten of the agents. They’re shooting non-lethal bullets, he can hear them hitting her over and over. She continues to go after them. More agents swarm as Bucky and Steve try to get to her. 

Bucky sees a sniper perched on the roof on one of the outbuildings. He’s aiming at Ciara.

“CIARA!” Bucky screams. He sees something hit her and she drops to her knees. The sniper reloads and takes aim again. 

“Do something!” Bucky yells to Steve. 

“Stand down!! Stand down!” Steve is yelling. Bucky has had enough and starts knocking agents out of his way. He sees the sniper reload once more and the shot is fired. Ciara is down surrounded by the agents she’s taken out with her. 

“CIARA! CIARA!” Bucky screams as agents try and pull him back. Steve is trying to pull them off of Bucky and ends up punching one of the agents in the skull. 

“Steve! Buck! Let them go! Let them go now!” 

Bucky recognizes Maria Hill’s voice. He sees her and Natasha a split second later. The agents let Bucky and Steve go and Bucky rushes to Ciara’s side. He’s blinded by his tears as he falls to his knees next to Ciara’s limp body. 

“She’s not dead, Buck. Look. Tranquilizer darts,” Steve says as he pushes her dark hair from her neck. There are three precision hits, the darts are small and stick out from their triangulated positions on her neck. Bucky can see the very slow rise and fall of her side as she breaths. 

“Who ordered this?” Bucky snarls at Steve. 

“Hill, answer the goddamn question,” Steve growls. 

“This went above Fury. It came from someone whom Cordova knows personally who has the means and the money to make this happen. We had no choice - but we can take her alive and we can get her help. That was the deal. Get her off of Cordova’s back and she stays with us. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise, they list her as a mark and she is to be exterminated with extreme prejudice before whatever Cordova released in her kills her,” Natasha finishes. 

Bucky weeps as he cradles her in his arms. 

“She was going to come back with us!” he cries. 

“Steve -” Natasha says softly. “We didn’t have a choice.”

“Get away from us, Romanov,” Steve growls. “Walk away now.”

“I warned you to let them handle it,” Natasha snaps at Hill. 

“Medic! I need her restrained, keep her sedated and airlifted -”

“We go with her, Hill. There is no compromise on this. You’ll have to kill Sergeant Barnes to get him to let her go and you’ll have to kill me to get to him,” Steve snarls. 

 


	30. Bruce's Questions, Bucky's Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is trying to figure out what's going on while Bucky threatens vengeance.

“Wait...who is she again?” Bruce asks. Steve can see he’s trying to wrap his mind around all the crap that’s happened within the last few hours.

“Codename Duchess. She’s a pet project of a sect of Shield that should not have existed. She was also the fiancee of our dear Sergeant Barnes and friend and crush to Hawkeye,” Natasha explains. 

“How is that possible?” Bruce questions. “Hawkeye isn’t anywhere near the age Steve and Buck are - no offense,” he says putting his hands up and looking at Steve. Steve smiles tiredly.

“None taken, Bruce. She traveled back in time. Part of what this division was working on had to do with time travel. Somehow, some way, they got it to work. Or she got it to work. She’s the one that went back. She met us both. She had Buck tripping over himself to the point that after like four hours with her he asked her to marry him,” Steve explains.

“Who says romance is dead?” Bruce jokes and then laughs lightly. This makes Steve chuckle a little, too. 

“Speaking of Romeo, where is he?” Natasha asks.

“You don’t want him near you or Hill right now, Nat. He’s in a very, very nasty mood. What you and Hill did -”

“Wait a goddamn minute!” Natasha snaps, cutting him off and putting her hands on her hips. “I  _ tried _ to stop Hill and Fury from doing this. Once I knew where you two idiots were, I knew what you were doing and I tried to give you the time you needed to get her back! Don’t blame me for something Hill fucked up!”

“Woof,” Bruce mutters and then gives Steve a  _ let it go _ look. 

“Understand it from our point of view, Nat. Bucky was this close,” Steve says demonstrating with his thumb and index finger less than a millimeter apart, “from convincing her to come back with him. This. Close. The two of them have been robbed of their humanity, each other, and apparently their son -”

“There was a kid?!” Bruce demands. “A baby super soldier??”

“No. This was before either of them had been given the serum. The baby was - would have been - normal,” Steve explains.

“According to the labs that Hill still has on Duchess, she miscarried when they gave her the serum,” Natasha continues. 

“Oh no. Buck was devastated when he found out, wasn’t he?” Bruce asks.

“He lunged for Cordova’s throat. I should have let him go,” Steve says regretfully.

“That’s not your character, Steve. That’s not something you’d do. Even under circumstances like that. Does Duchess know?” Bruce asks. 

“From what I heard over the comms, yes. All this chaos she’s created was vengeance for what they robbed her of. Do you know what that shit in her veins is?” Natasha questions, changing the subject with fluidity.

“Centrifuge was still running when I came out here to get a drink. Buck’s asleep in there, Steve. Maybe go wake him up and have him eat. He won’t be any good to her if he can’t stand up,” Bruce suggests. Steve nods. Getting Bucky to leave Ciara’s side will be easier said than done. 

He gets up and heads to the medical wing. Bucky is sound asleep, his head laying on the bed, one arm tucked under his chin and the other draped over Ciara’s stomach. She’s still unconscious from the looks of things. Her heart rate is still slow as is her breathing. If they had killed her with those tranquilizers…

Steve pushes the thought away. He puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezes. Bucky sighs but doesn’t wake up. 

“Buck.”

He shakes his friend roughly and Bucky’s eyes slowly open.

“What? Is she awake? Ciara?” Bucky is dazed and looks around tiredly. When he realizes she’s still out of it, he puts his head back down and growls.

“Come on. You need to eat,” Steve tells him. 

“Go away.”

“Nope. You aren’t doing her any good by wasting away yourself, are you?”

“She thinks I set her up. I want to be here to tell her I didn’t. That I would never…” 

Steve watches as his best friend breaks down into tears. He puts his hand on the back of Bucky’s head.

“We’ll sort it out, Bucky.”

“She hates me,” he whimpers. “She hates me.”

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up and get something to eat. You want to look somewhat presentable when she comes to or she’ll chase you out just on principle,” Steve says trying to get Bucky to lighten up a little.

“No. I won’t leave her. Not again.”

“Buck, she’s not going anywhere. Look at the restraints. They’re specifically designed to hold Bruce’s alter ego. She won’t be going anywhere. Don’t you want to look good for your girl?”

Bucky wipes his eyes on his sleeve. 

“Yeah.”

“We’ll go get her flowers. We can do that online shit you’re so goddamn fond of now.”

This makes him laugh just a little.

“I don’t know what she likes, Stevie.”

“I’m sure we can find something. Come on. Bruce will be back in here in a few minutes.”

“Does he know what this is?” Bucky asks tracing his fingers over the blackness in her veins. 

“Not yet.”

“If she dies, Steve, I will go after Cordova myself,” Bucky says with finality. He gets up Steve walks him out of the room. 

 


	31. Bucky's Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara wakes up in unfamiliar surroundings, is scared, alone and dying. Bruce wants to help, but Ciara has given up. Until she gets a letter from Bucky.

Ciara slowly opens her eyes. Her vision is hazy, and everything is out of focus. She blinks a few times and her vision eventually clears. She doesn’t recognize this place. She tries to move, but her arms and legs feel like they’re made of lead. 

“Welcome back. How do you feel?”

Ciara sees a man with dark hair and kind eyes appear. She tries to talk but her mouth feels like it’s filled with sand. He brings a cup with a straw to her lips and she drinks greedily. 

“Those stupid tranquilizers did a number on you. Keep drinking. When you’re done we can see about removing your shackles.”

She stops drinking and tries to lift her arms. Not only are they made of lead, they are, in fact, strapped down at the wrist. She hears the all too familiar sound of metal hitting metal as she pulls on the restraints. She tries to talk but can only make a rasping noise.

“Easy, easy,” he soothes. “This wasn’t my idea. They said it was for your protection. Possibly mine. I’m not sure. They said so much crap when they brought you in here I maybe caught half of it. Also, you’re not my prisoner, that’s not my thing. And I was advised by two of your suitors to release you immediately.”

Suitors? She narrows her eyes at him. 

“So, that’s a sore subject. Okay. Let’s go back to drinking, Ciara.”

She pulls on her restraints and turns her head when he offers her the straw again. 

“Okay. You’re not going to flip out on me when I let you go, right? I’m just trying to help,” he tells her. She shakes her head no. 

“If I let you go will you keep drinking?”

She nods her head yes. She’s not in any shape right now to do much except fall on the floor. She’s at his mercy. He undoes the restraints and helps her lift her arms. 

“Can you hold the cup?” he asks gently. She tries, but she’s still not coordinating with her muscles like she’s supposed to be. 

“It’s alright. Drink. Can I ask you some questions?”

She nods her head yes. He puts the straw to her lips and she downs the contents of the cup. He smiles, seemingly pleased. 

“The tranquilizer darts dehydrated you or at least exacerbated the issue. They shot you with enough to take down an elephant, probably two. Still feel weak?”

She nods her head yes. 

“That will fade in a little while. The more you drink the faster it will go. Do you feel like your head is wrapped in wool?”

Again she nods her head yes. 

“Another side effect. That will fade, too. Let me get you some Gatorade. I’ve got lemon or orange,” he offers. She holds up two fingers to indicate the second option.

“Orange?”

She nods her head yes and tries to say orange but it comes out as a croak and she ends up coughing. He smiles and pats her on the knee.

“Don’t run off. Don’t talk too much.”

He’s making jokes and Ciara finds herself smiling at how horrible they are. 

“My name is Bruce, by the way,” he says coming back with a bottle of Gatorade. He opens it and puts the straw in. There’s a knock at the door. Bruce looks at the door then at Ciara.

“You’ve had visitors while you were unconscious. Based on the less than amused look you gave me when I mentioned your suitors earlier I’m going to give you the choice as to whether or not you want to see anyone right now.”

She thinks of all the bullshit and lies she’s been fed over the past few days. 

“No,” she struggles to say and shakes her head. Bruce hands her the Gatorade and holds it for her until he’s satisfied she can hold it herself. 

The knocking starts again. He smiles uneasily and goes to the door. 

“Is she awake?”

“She is, she’s not up to having visitors right now, though.”

“Tell her it’s me.”

Ciara knows it’s Bucky. She can hear the struggle in his voice. 

“Between you and Clint...no. She needs to rest, Buck. The amount of tranquilizers they gave her should have stopped her heart. She just needs to rest.”

Silence. 

“Will you give her these? Tell her...tell her I didn’t…” 

“You can tell her in due time, Buck. I’ll give her the flowers.”

“Has Clint been in here?”

Definite jealousy now. 

“I’m not getting involved in whatever sordid nonsense the three of you are engaged in. For the time being while she’s under my care she’s not going to deal with it. She needs to rest,” Bruce says firmly.

“I never meant for her to get hurt, Bruce. I would never hurt her.”

“And you think Clint would?”

“He’s an asshole.”

“Let me rephrase the question: do you think she’s going to hurt both of you for acting like dumbasses?”

She starts to choke on the Gatorade. 

“She needs me. I’ll give her the flowers. You can check back tomorrow. Don’t let me catch you in here, Buck. You can relay the same thing to Clint.”

She hears the door shut and Bruce comes around the corner with a large bouquet of flowers while Ciara is wiping the Gatorade she sputtered off her chin. 

“Are you okay?” he asks and smiles. “Buck brought these for you. Do you want to have a look or no?”

“Dumbasses,” she squeaks and then starts to dry laugh until she starts to cough. 

“It doesn’t pay to sugar coat things with these guys sometimes,” Bruce says with a shrug. She reaches for the flowers. He takes the Gatorade from her and gives her the flowers to look at. 

Bucky went apeshit. There are roses, lilies, orchids, carnations, daisies, and what looks like fifty other types of flowers. 

“Am I dead?” she squeaks. 

“It does look like a funeral arrangement,” Bruce laughs. “He means well, Ciara. You two only knew each other for a few hours. I’m sure flowers weren’t a topic of conversation. Or they could have been. Maybe. I’ll stop.”

The roses are the deepest red she’s ever seen, the lilies are bright pink and white, the orchids are a dark lavender, and there’s a Crayola Box of colors on the other flowers. 

She sees something hidden amongst the stems of the flowers. 

“What is that?” Bruce asks. Ciara removes a piece of paper that has been carefully folded to fit amongst the flowers and not fall into the vase. She shakes her head and puts it back.

“Too tired,” she squeaks and reaches for the Gatorade. Bruce takes the flowers and puts them on the counter by the sink. He removes the note and brings it to her. 

“In case you want to read it later. I’ll check on you in a little while. Get some rest. Call button is on the side of the bed. I’m the only one attending to you. No one else gets near you without written permission in triplicate. I won’t be far. You’re safe here. This place is armed to the teeth and there are three people that will set the world ablaze if something happens to you.”

Ciara holds the note and slides down into the bed. Her eyes are heavy and it’s only a matter of moments before she’s asleep. 

Ciara hears the sound of a door being opened and sits up, wide awake. She’s not sure if it’s Bruce or if one of the dumbasses is trying to sneak in. 

“Just checking on you,” Bruce says appearing in the room. 

“I’m alive for the time being.”

“You sound better. Are you hungry?”

“No, just very, very thirsty. And I need a shower. What time is it?” she asks.

“Just after five in the evening. You’ve been asleep for most of the day.”

“Swell,” she grumbles.

“Bucky and Clint have been asking almost nonstop about you. I’ve timed them at nearly every twenty minutes. I’ve kept them out so far, but at some point I won’t be able to keep them at bay anymore,” Bruce says apologetically. Ciara shakes her head in dismay.

“There’s a private shower in here. I can get you some fresh clothes…” Bruce is anxious about something else it seems. She skews an eyebrow at him. 

“I figured out what the virus is. Mostly.”

“Do tell.”

“It’s a nano-virus. Millions of self-replicating, microscopic robots programmed to wreak havoc on your immune system. It’s also causing the serum to mutate and turn against you.”

“How long?” 

“I called Tony. Stark, Tony Stark,” Bruce says hastily as if she wouldn’t know what Tony he was talking about. “We’re going to figure out -”

“How long?” she repeats. 

“I don’t know,” Bruce replies honestly. Ciara looks at the black webbed outline of her veins on her left arm. It’s crept up her shoulder and is now making its way onto her chest. 

“He wins.”

“Don’t give up. Tony and I can -”

“Stop,” she says pulling the IV from her arm. “Just stop. All I want to do is get cleaned up and leave.”

“Cordova will have you killed for sure,” Bruce counters. Ciara looks at her arm and then at Bruce. 

“I’d say he already has.”

“We can try and stop this.”

“There’s no point. It’s done, put your talents towards saving yourself or curing cancer or something,” Ciara says dismissively. 

“You’re just going to roll over and give Cordova what he wants?” Bruce persists. She looks at her arm again and he sighs.

“The shower is around the corner. I’ll go grab fresh clothes. Just...don’t run off until I get back. There may still be a way to stop it.”

“There’s no guarantee.”

“No, but that’s how it is with anything in life. Five minutes and I’ll be back with clothes,” he says and then exits hastily. 

As far as she’s concerned it doesn’t matter. She’s lost everything. The man she loved is only a shell of his former self, and both Bucky and Clint set her up to be captured like a wild animal. Bucky broke her heart, Cordova smashed her soul and now all that’s left is for her body to die. 

She slides off the bed and her legs buckle forcing her to grab the bed to stay upright. As she does she sees something fall from the flimsy gown they’d put her in. It’s Bucky’s note. She picks it up and unfolds it. It’s handwritten and it’s more of a novel than a note. 

**_Ciara,_ **

**_I know you think I set you up and that I don’t remember you. You think Barton and Steve fed me what to say to you. It’s not true, doll. I remember you. I remember everything about our day together. I remember how you ran into me so hard you bounced off of my body and I had to catch you to keep you from falling on your ass. I remember pulling you closer and taking your hand to hold. I couldn’t let you go, doll. I just had to keep you in my arms. The first time you smiled at me it was over, I was done for. Before we got to the end of the pavilion and I kissed you I already knew I had to make you my girl. Seeing you naked in the changing room was like a vision of heaven. You smelled like jasmine, it was soft and faint and enticing. You have little scars to the right of your belly button. 3 of them. I remember running my fingers over them while I was inside of you. I wanted to ask you about them, but the way you were moaning my name - that was all I could concentrate on. That and how goddamn good it felt to be in you. You have a birthmark on the inside of your left thigh, it’s a little darker than the rest of your skin and it’s like an oval shape, not very big. I kissed it and you grabbed handfuls of my hair while you moaned._ **

**_I remember when I told you I loved you and wanted to marry you, you started to cry. I remember begging you to say how you felt. You told me you loved me, Ciara. When you said those words that was the happiest I have ever been. We made love again. I would have laid there with you for hours, maybe consummated our future marriage a few more times, but some asshole started knocking on the door. We got dressed and I watched you trying to make sure I would remember every curve of your beautiful body. You helped me with my tie._ **

**_I asked you to wait for me. I promised you I would come back on the 15th of every month as soon as I got leave. You promised you would wait for me. And when I got back we would get married and I would take the dog tag and we’d get a ring for you. I meant every word of that, doll._ **

**_I got captured by Hydra. This is before the train incident you tried to warn me about (someday you and I will sit down and talk about all the shit you know) (hopefully). I was thinking about you and the guy in the cell next to mine asked me why I was smiling. I told him about you. Told him I was going to marry you. I told him that I was hoping that I had left a little something in you and when I got home we would have a son. Thinking of you kept me sane in there. I told Steve about this after he rescued us. I told him that I was going to marry you as soon as I got back and that I really hoped you’d be carrying our baby in your arms when we met again. Steve’s going to be the best man - was, I guess._ **

**_I still love you, Ciara. I never stopped. Not during the war, not during the shit Hydra put me through, and certainly not now. I promised you I would love you for eternity. For me it’s been 70 years, but I will love you until my dying breath. I remember you, beautiful. I never forgot you. I love you._ **

Ciara’s tears splash onto the letter. He has knowledge of things no one else she knows would have. He had wanted to come home so badly and be with her and start a family. Even if Hydra had not intervened...she had stupidly gone back to her own time and he would have passed away a long time ago.

This is their second chance. She looks at her arm. A second chance provided she survives. 

  
  



	32. Bucky Goes To See Ciara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky goes to see Ciara in medical unsure of what to expect.

Bucky knocks on the door to Ciara’s room in the medical wing. There’s no answer. Bruce told him to go see her, that she had requested to see him. His heart has been hammering crazily in his chest since those words were spoken because he has no idea what she may say to him. He doesn’t know if she read the letter he wrote, he doesn’t know if she wants Clint or him or neither of them. He doesn’t know what to say to convince her to give him another chance, that this is their time now…

There’s another issue. Bruce says she’s given up. She doesn’t want help to fight the virus, she’s going to let it run its course through her. Regardless of who she chooses he needs to try to convince her she needs to live. She was put on this world for a damn reason and it’s not her time yet. Just like it wasn’t his or Steve’s. 

He knocks again. Still no answer. Now he’s worried that the virus has her laid out or she fainted from the tranquilizers or…

He opens the door and steps inside. He can hear water running. He comes further into the room. The bed is empty save for the clothes Bruce brought her. He sees the flowers he bought her yesterday. It looks like a goddamn funeral arrangement now that he actually looks at it. He drags his hand down his face in disgust. Next time he’ll just pick one goddamn type of flower instead of the entire flower shop. 

He heads toward the sound of the running water. It’s a shower. She’s in the shower. He’s not thinking clearly. He shouldn’t be heading over there. She’s going to beat the shit out of him - she probably could, because he won’t fight back. She’s going to be pissed...oh god don’t open the fucking door….

“If that’s anyone other than James Barnes they better get the fuck out of here or I’m going to rip their goddamn balls out through their throat.”

“Graphic and hostile, doll.”

The shower curtain slides back just enough to see her stormy eyes. They light up when she sees him and Bucky is absolutely certain he’s going into cardiac arrest right now. 

“Bucky? Are you okay?” 

“Trying to get over the imagery of someone’s nuts coming up through their throat.”

She smiles and he swoons. Goddamn, he’s still head over heels for this dame. 

“I just got in.”

He wants to say he’ll wait for her outside of the bathroom. He wants to tell her not to be long. Instead - 

“Want some company?” he asks pulling his shirt over his head and exposing his chest. Her eyes widen. His hands drop to his belt, and her smile turns to a mischevious grin. 

“It looks like you’ve already made my mind up for me, Sergeant Barnes,” she says as he undoes his belt. She’s watching him, those stormy eyes sparkle and his body is so far into overdrive right now he’s red lining. He kicks off his shoes. 

“It’s Bucky and not entirely. Tell me no, doll, and I’ll walk out.” He’s all too aware that if she does say no he’s going to have to force himself to walk out and he’s going to have to sit with a twenty-pound bag of ice on his crotch. 

“You’re not going to like what you see.”

He stops. Her tone has completely changed. 

“I want to see, Ciara. Beyond just seeing you naked again.”

Her eyes drop to his crotch. His body is obviously saying something different. 

“You could just close your eyes when you get in.”

“What the hell for?”

“Hmmm.” She disappears behind the curtain again. 

“Ciara.”

“James.”

He puckers his lips and finishes getting undressed. He pulls the shower curtain aside and steps in. She’s backed her self against the wall, trying to hide her left arm and side. Her eyes roam over his body and he smiles. 

“Let me see, Ciara,” he says gently. She tries to back up further even though she has no place to go. She drops her eyes and hangs her head. She’s ashamed and he can’t understand why. 

“Ciara,” he says softly. He lifts her chin and sees tears in her eyes. She’s not just ashamed, she’s scared. He runs his thumb over her cheek. He takes her right hand and pulls on it gently trying to get her to show him the extent of the damage. 

“Bucky...don’t…”

“Let me see how bad it is.”

She shakes her head no. 

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to run.”

His heart breaks.

“Look at me, doll. Look at my left arm. You haven’t batted a lash at this atrocity. You didn’t ask for what happened to you any more than I asked for this,” he says nodding towards his arm. “I’m not going to run, Ciara. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Not after I’ve waited seventy years to see you.”

She looks down again and slowly lowers her arms. Bucky gasps at the extent of the webbing and how far up and into her shoulder it is. She immediately covers herself again. It’s heading into her chest. This is her left side. The side her heart is on and once it hits her heart…

“No, baby, come on, it’s alright,” he whispers. He doesn’t try to pull her arms free this time. He just pulls her away from the wall and into his arms. She’s so tense it’s like holding a statue. It takes a few minutes standing under the shower together before she puts her arms around him and hugs him tightly. 

“We’re going to fix this. We’re going to do whatever it takes, but you can’t give up, Ciara. If you give up, that fucker Cordova wins. He’s robbed you of enough -”

“He’s robbed us both,” she interjects, her voice quiet and broken. 

“Then don’t let him take anything else. Fight it. Bruce called Tony. So long as he doesn’t tell him I’m involved in this he should help.”

Ciara lifts her head and looks at him. 

“You couldn’t help what happened.”

“Of course you know about that. Goddammit,” he mutters. “You know everything -”

“No. But I erased whatever Hydra has on you and Steve. I was destroying Hydra bases that had any intel left on you.”

He blinks. 

“You weren’t getting revenge on Hydra for what happened to you...you were protecting Steve and I?”

Her stormy eyes flash. 

“Yes. Trying to at any rate.”

He doesn’t know what to say to this. In the midst of everything else she was going through she made time to hunt down and destroy the intel that they had on he and Steve to protect them. From what, god only knows…

“We’re going to have a long talk about what you know, doll,” he says and then smiles warmly. 

“Compare notes.”

“But you have to keep fighting. This,” he says touching her shoulder and running his fingers down her arm, “can’t win. If you won’t do it for you, do it for me. Do it for the baby.”

She puts her hands on his chest and looks down. 

“What happens to us if I survive?”

“We’re going to move forward together, regardless of what happens, Ciara. I promised you I would love you for eternity, I damn well meant it.”

She looks up, her eyes searching his. They shine just like they did that day so long ago. 

“Why did you really come into the bathroom, Bucky?”

“Why did you threaten to castrate anyone who wasn’t me, doll?”

She smiles. 

“Because no one else is as good as you are.”

“You’ve sampled other goods?” he asks feeling hurt by this idea. 

“I didn’t have to. I knew I wouldn’t find anyone like you. You’re a once in a lifetime catch, James Buchanan Barnes," she says. Her brow furrows and she lowers her eyes. "I should never have left your time. I should have kept you there with me...I should have done more to save you…” She starts to cry. “I never wanted you to get hurt. I wanted to save you…”

“You did save me, Ciara. You saved me when I was captured, you saved me from losing myself entirely to Hydra, which helped Steve break their fucking programming. You saved me by showing me what love really is. Without you showing up that day and running balls to the wall at me...I would never have known. Steve is my soul, you are my heart. I owe everything to you both.”

She looks at her arm. He takes her left hand in his left hand and kisses her wrist. 

“I love you,” she says softly. Her eyes overflow with emotion. 

“I love you, too, Ciara Barnes.”

The smile on her face is so radiant he should be blinded by it. She kisses him just as the water starts to turn cold. 

“Oh fuck off,” she growls. 

“Come on. Let’s get cleaned up before we freeze in here.”


	33. Is It Contagious?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first argument.

Ciara dries off and looks at the clothes Bruce brought her. Bucky is pulling his shorts on, his teeth chattering from the cold shower. He’s way more ripped than he was when she went back in time. He’s thick with muscle - arms, legs, chest…

He pulls his shirt over his head and cocks an eyebrow at her, then gives her a playful grin. 

“Should I get undressed?” he asks. She makes a popping sound with her lips and shakes her head.

“You’re an ass.”

“I’m not the one staring like I haven’t eaten in a week,” he laughs. 

“Nah, you’re just the one who sauntered into the bathroom and started stripping while I was in the shower.”

“Touche.”

She looks at the horrible panties and groans. 

“Are they big enough?” Bucky asks sounding horrified.

“Modern day chastity belt.”

“Wouldn’t work,” he says matter of factly. He’s stopped getting dressed at this point. 

“Oh?”

“Wouldn’t matter what you wore, beautiful, I’d still know what was under those clothes and I’d still want to ravish you.”

The idea of having him inside her makes her temperature skyrocket. He steps towards her.

“Don’t,” she warns without looking at him. “I haven’t gotten laid since I saw you at the Pavilion a hundred fucking years ago -”

“Your concept of time is off. It’s been almost a hundred years for me and there has been no fucking.”

The calmness in which he says this makes her laugh. 

“I’m glad you’re amused,” he gripes. “I’m being serious.”

“As badly as I want to throw you on this shitty bed, straddle you, and fuck you until I can’t walk...I can’t.”

She looks over at him now. His breathing is heavier, the deep rise and fall of his chest seen easily through the tight fitting shirt he has on.

“Why?” he asks taking a step closer. 

She shows him her arm, running her fingers up the arm and over her shoulder.

“Because what if it’s transmissible? What if I’ve put you at risk by kissing you? Goddammit…”

“Kissing you is worth any risk. Holding you, loving you...doesn’t matter, Ciara. If I get this shit I’ll die with you -”

“What about Steve? You’re not thinking,” she says tapping her temple. “You would leave him for someone you barely know. You’ve known him all your life, you’ve been through Hell and back with each other -”

“You’re saying you’re less important than he is, which is utter bullshit. I love you both, I’d die for you both, I’d kill for you both. Steve is my brother, my best friend and the only other person in the world I would trust to take care of you if something happened to me. You are the woman I love, the woman I want to marry and have a family with and the only person I’d trust Steve’s life with. Don’t give me this shit -”

“It’s not shit, James,” she snaps. “I have a different version of this fucking serum. Van Doran took what Erksine and Zola created and refined it and made it int a concentrated form that killed everyone he tested it on but me. That may be my only saving grace right now. If you catch this...if I infect you it may kill you outright. Then what? I’m supposed to be okay with the fact that I’m the reason you’re dead? That I killed you? I spent years holding onto the hope that someday I would see you and…” she stops and bites her lip. 

“There’s no guarantee that I will catch it or that I will die if I do,” he argues.

“There’s also no guarantee that you won’t! Is a piece of ass worth all this?”

“You’re not a piece of ass, Ciara!”

“You’re missing the point.”

He puts his hands behind his head, looks at the ceiling and takes a deep breath. 

“The point  _ that you’re missing _ is that I love you, I want to love you, you’re not some piece of ass I’ve been holding out for seventy years for, and if this is the risk in order to kiss you and love you physically -”

“I swear to god, Barnes, I am about to beat your ass,” she growls. 

 


	34. You Should Have Listened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's defiance with Ciara about physical contact causes chaos.

Steve is leaned against a doorway talking with Tony when he sees Bruce come around the corner. 

“You’re late,” Tony tells him. Bruce purses his lips and shrugs. 

“I need to borrow you, Steve,” Bruce says. Tony cocks his head. 

“Borrow?” Tony repeats. 

“Oh shit,” Steve groans. His first thought is Bucky and Ciara have run off together. His next thought is he did something to piss her off and they’re in that room trying to beat the shit out of each other. 

“Oh I want to come, too,” Tony says. Steve stops him. 

“Give me ten minutes and then you and Bruce can play mad scientist together,” he says. 

“Don’t make me wait, Rogers. You know how impatient I can be,” Tony reminds him. Steve shakes his head and follows Bruce out of the room and down the hall. Once Bruce is satisfied they’re out of earshot of everyone he stops.

“They’re in there arguing. Loudly.”

“Jesus...why?” Steve asks. He’s wondering what the hell the two lovebirds could be arguing about already. 

“If she’s contagious.”

Steve stops in his tracks. Bruce looks at him, clearly not having considered this as a possibility until now, either. 

“Is she?”

“I don’t know, Steve. It didn’t occur to me that she and Buck would be…. _ intimate _ …”

“Bruce, he hasn’t seen her in seventy years, she was the last girl he was with, as far as I know, and he’s been planning their wedding since the day he met her.”

“How do we separate them?” 

Steve laughs.

“Good luck. I could try to knock him out and carry him out, but he’s got one hell of a left hook,” Steve says. “Thank you for not mentioning Bucky’s involvement to Tony.”

“I have some common sense, Steve,” Bruce says sounding offended. They start walking down the hall. Steve can hear the lovebird bickering.

“You are not going to kiss me!”

“Why the fuck not? I’ve already kissed you, so I’m already exposed!”

“What is it with you and tempting fate, Barnes?”

“What is it with you and being so goddamn argumentative, Ciara?” 

“Oh god, Buck,” Steve groans as he opens the door. 

“Whoever that is better get the fuck out!” Bucky yells.  

“It’s me. Bruce is outside,” Steve calls. There’s a moment of silence. Bucky steps into view. He’s out of sorts and very, very upset. 

“Steve -”

“Stop, Buck. You know what I’m about to tell you.”

“That she’s right,” he mutters and hangs his head. “It’s my choice, though -”

“And it’s hers if she doesn’t want you to be exposed. I don’t want anything to happen to you, Buck, and obviously, neither does she.”

Bucky glares at him. 

“I haven’t seen her in seventy years. The first time I see her she’s swarmed by fucking agents and we get blamed for setting her up. This is the first chance I’ve had to spend actual time with her and you two are hellbent and determined to deny me,” he growls angrily. 

“No one is denying you -”

“Is that what you think?” Ciara asks coming into view. “That I’m doing this just to piss you off? Seriously? If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t fucking care what happens to you!” she yells. 

“It should be my choice!” Bucky persists. 

She shakes her head and walks away. Bucky tries to go after her, but Steve grabs his arm. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Steve demands. “She’s trying to protect you. By you acting like a fucking asshole you’re pushing her away, she’s going to turn her back on our help and she’s going to disappear. Is that what you want?” 

Bucky isn’t thinking clearly. He’s so overwhelmed with having her back he’s not able to process the risks. He looks at Steve and his eyes are full of tears. 

“I can’t lose her again. I don’t want to live if that happens,” he whispers. Steve reels at this. Bucky’s devotion to Ciara isn’t just love. There’s something much stronger there. 

“Then you have to listen to her, to me, to Bruce...we aren’t saying this just to be cruel, Buck.”

“Ciara,” Bucky calls. There’s no answer. Bucky looks at Steve and Steve feels the panic set in. 

“Ciara,” Steve yells. The door opens and Bruce steps in. 

“What’s going on?” Bruce asks. 

“Oh no…” Bucky groans. They walk into the room and there’s no sign of Ciara. Bruce runs to the bathroom. 

“She’s not in here,” Steve says looking up at the large ventilation shaft on the far wall. The grating is hanging askew from the wall. 

“She left a message,” Bruce calls. Bucky is in shock. Steve takes his arm and leads him to the bathroom. Written in soap on the mirror are the words  _ YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED _ . 

Steve grabs his cell and calls Natasha. 

“Lock it down. She’s loose in the compound. Don’t engage her, don’t hurt her. If you see her try and talk to her. Let the others know.”

He hangs up. Bucky breaks down, collapsing to the floor on his knees. 

“Bruce, get Tony back here to help you. Find a cure. Find something,” Steve orders. Bruce leaves and Steve sits on the floor next to Bucky and pulls him into his arms. Yelling at Buck won’t do anything, talking to him now won’t do anything. Buck’s scared and confused and Steve needs him to get his shit together so they can find Ciara before anything else happens. This may be the only way to do it. 


	35. Ciara Escapes With Some Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara makes her escape with the help of Clint.

Ciara drops out of the stupidly small ventilation system into a storeroom. She wipes her eyes and forces herself to refocus. The odds of Stark or Bruce finding a cure are slim to none. The only one who can fix this is fucking Cordova. And now that Bucky’s exposed she needs to work fast to make sure he survives. 

She hears the alarms going off. They know she’s loose. Good. She looks around. Cleaning chemicals, buckets, mops, brooms, cleaning cloths…

“One diversion coming up,” she mutters. She mixes what she needs and sets it up. She needs better clothes and some goddamn shoes. She takes half the concoction and bottles it, the other half she dumps in a bucket and douses several cleaning rags with it. She grabs the catalyst chemical puts the rags in another bucket, takes the spray bottle and sprays the sprinkler system in the storeroom. She takes the catalyst and pours that in a different spray bottle. She sprays the sprinkler head with that and after a few moments the metal begins to sizzle. She runs just as the smoke alarms go off and the sprinkler system turns on. She darts down the hall, sprays more of the catalyst on a rag and tosses it into the hall. The rag begins to smolder, setting off more alarms. She does this in three other areas and then heads down a separate hall. It’s deathly quiet in this one, the alarms barely register here. It’s much colder the further in she goes. She comes to a secured metal door. It’s locked. She yanks on the handle hard enough it comes off of its hinges in a screech of metal. She’s in the hangar. The jets are in here along with some vehicles and bikes. Good. She heads to the jets first looking for anything she can use as weapons, clothing, etc. 

The largest of the jets has a weapons stash - all military grade semi-automatic rifles. She searches the overhead bins and finds boots, holsters, and clothing far more suited to fighting than a fucking velour tracksuit. She changes hastily, arms herself and steps off the jet.

“No, you don’t, Kitty Cat.”

“Back off, Archer. Walk away.”

“Can’t do it. You’ve got Barnes so fucked up he can barely stand.”

Ciara freezes. Fucked up? 

“He’s sick?” she asks, her plans for finding Cordova momentarily forgotten. 

“Lovesick to the point he’s physically sick. You’ve got the whole place looking for you. You’re not in anyone’s good graces right now.”

“Should I care? Is Buck going to be alright?”

“Should be. He’s worried about you. As am I. Whatever you think you’re going to do, don’t. Just don’t.”

“Don’t what, Archer? I exposed Bucky to this shit Cordova gave me. I’m not going to let him die.”

“Cordova doesn’t have the antidote, Ciara.”

“And you believed him, Clint?” she asks coldly. 

“Natasha searched that office -”

“Then it isn’t in that compound, you fucking artard. Does no one in this fucking outfit have any goddamn brains?”

Clint studies her. 

“How did you put Bucky at risk?”

“I kissed him. Think of this like an STD.”

“That’s disturbing.”

“Not exactly how I planned our reunion to go,” she snaps. 

“It’s worth it to kiss you.”

“You had your chance, Clint.”

“I still can’t let you go -”

“You should have thought about that before you started telling me how much you hated me.”

“I meant from here, dipshit.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“No,” he says and sighs, “so I guess I’m coming with you. Get in the small jet. I’ll pilot. Where are we going?”

“I don’t trust you,” she says eyeing him suspiciously. She can hear the alarms now. 

“You’re running out of time. I don’t want you to die, you don’t want Buck to die, Tony and Bruce aren’t going to have time to come up with a cure. How close to your heart is it, Ciara?” Clint demands. 

“Just made contact with the breast bone. Another few inches.”

“You’re running out of time. I don’t want you to die, Buck doesn’t want you to die. If you think Cordova has the antidote then I’m going with you to find the fucking thing. Stand here any longer and our window of escape goes to zero.”

He points to the jet. They run. Clint hops into the pilot seat, Ciara sits next to him and Clint preps for take off. 

“This is Colonel Nick Fury! Duchess, you are ordered to step off of that jet and surrender immediately!” the voice barks through the radio on the jet. Clint flips it off.

“Where?”

“Fort Detrick.”

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” Clint groans as they take off. 

“He’s got dealings there. Where else would you store a virus and its cure?”


	36. You've Gone Rogue Says The One Who Went Rogue Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Ciara are on a jet to Fort Detrick. Sam, Bucky and Steve are in pursuit. They get dire news from Natasha that sets up the urgency of Ciara's situation and possibly Bucky's.

Bucky is kneeling in front of the toilet holding the side and trying to calm down enough he can hear what Steve is telling Fury. 

“She left. She escaped, Captain Rogers, and she is a liability. If she has infected Sergeant Barnes we need to get her back here so Banner and Stark can work on finding a goddamn cure!”

“He’s not infected -”

“He’s holed up in the head right now! Is he powdering his nose?” Fury barks. Bucky chokes on the taste in his mouth.

“He’s upset to the point he’s made himself sick,” Steve says flatly. 

“I see. Nothing to do with him sharing bodily fluids with Typhoid Mary. You expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t care what you believe, Fury. Right now he’s not infected. Right now she’s on the run. And right now you’re wasting our time finding her by busting my balls about this!” Steve yells. Bucky smiles. Steve never did take shit from anyone. 

“Do you know she’s with Hawkeye? At this point we have to assume she’s holding him hostage -”

Hearing the fact that Clint is with Ciara sends Bucky into another fit of tears and he ends up heaving up more of the nothing in his stomach, gagging on the bitter taste of bile as it coats his throat and mouth. She ran off with him. She ran off with Clint…

He doesn’t hear the rest of the argument between Fury and Steve. Doesn’t hear Steve come into the bathroom. Is only vaguely aware of him flushing the toilet and getting him a glass of water.

“Buck, I need you to pull yourself together. I need you with me on this, because if Fury gets to her first she’s dead. If Cordova gets to her first she’s dead -”

“She’s with Clint,” Bucky chokes and then dry heaves into the bowl. 

“It’s not what you think. Sam, open the channel for me,” Steve says into his comm. He puts the comm by Bucky’s ear. 

“Do you have a plan or are you just going to go balls to the wall in there?” Clint asks.

“I had thought about blowing up the whole mother fucking place but since you fucks frown on random acts of violence like that -”

“Us fucks. Did the serum neutralize that part of your brain where your humanity is stored?”

“No, Van Doran did that when he gave me the fucking serum and caused a miscarriage. Whatever was left of my humanity died that day -”

“You said it died that day in Romania when Buck didn’t recognize you. Which is it, Kitty Cat, because you can’t have it both ways.”

“He’s all I have left, Clint. He’s all I have in this world. If he dies and I did nothing to help...I have no reason to live.”

“You love him that much you’re risking our lives on a hope and a prayer?” 

“You didn’t have to come along and yes. I love him that much that I will search for the fucking cure until I find it or I die trying.”

“He may not be infected, Ciara. This is time you two could be spending together and Tony and Bruce could be using to find a cure for you. You’re stupid.”

“Says the one who hijacked the jet and ran off with me. Fuck you, Clint. I don’t have the kind of time Tony and Bruce need to find a cure. If Bucky is infected he’ll have even less time. He dies, I die and Steve’s going to go off the fucking deep end and disappear. Is that what you assholes want? Two super soldiers dead and one MIA because he’s lost everything, too? Use your fucking head instead of just to put a goddamn hat on.”

“This has nothing to do with Steve -”

“Were you this dense when we first met? Did you not hear anything I just said? And correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you the one who was Team Cap when he went after Buck in Romania to try and save him?”

“Fuck you, Kitty Cat.”

“You’d never keep up and there’s only one man I want to fuck.”

“You should try playing the field, you might be surprised what’s out there,” Clint says haughtily. 

“I promise you, Clint, I don’t need to know what’s out there. My only goal is to save the man I love and make sure he lives the life he should have had.”

“With or without you.”

“With or without me. He deserves to finally be happy. As does Steve. When is it their turn, Clint? You got to have a family. You know damn well she still loves you, and you know damn well you miss those kids. The infatuation you had with me doesn’t have to end your life, Clint. Don’t fuck yourself over. Don’t throw away her love for something as dumb as this. We both know it would never have worked out between us. Even if something had started before I went back...Bucky would have trumped anything we had, Clint.”

“He’s your soulmate.”

“There has never been a truer sense of the word than this.”

“Location pinpointed, Cap. Headed towards northern Maryland. If I had to guess -”

“She’s going to Fort Detrick,” Bucky says sitting up. “Infectious diseases,” he adds. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. His head hurts, his stomach and abs hurt, his eyes burn, but hearing her say those words makes all that seem inconsequential.  

“Find out if Hill has intel on Cordova’s dealings there, Sam.”

“On it, Cap. If you plan on catching her we need to get on the big jet and we need to haul ass. Clint’s flying slow, he’s waiting for us, but he can’t wait much longer.”

Bucky pushes himself up. 

“We’ll meet you in the hangar,” Steve says and flips the comm off. “She’s doing this for you, Buck. Don’t doubt for a second she doesn’t love you.”

“She’s doing this for you and I both, Steve. Don’t you forget that. She’s doing this for both of us. I can’t let her die, Steve.”

“Then let’s help her. Get your gear. You have three minutes to meet me in the hangar.”

“Natasha?” 

“Will keep Fury busy. Let’s go.”

Bucky forces himself to run down the hall that’s still being cleaned of the chemical warfare Ciara had going on. He grabs his stuff and runs back to the hangar. Steve’s at the door that’s been ripped off its hinges. 

They barely get aboard and Sam has the jet taking off. Bucky gets strapped in and Steve takes shotgun in the copilot seat. 

“They’ve got a pretty good head start on us,” Sam states as he locks on their coordinates.

“Fort Detrick, but keep it low and don’t go over the base,” Steve advises.

“I know, Cap. I know. We’ll have to land someplace just outside of there. Hopefully Clint isn’t stupid enough to fly over their restricted space,” Sam says. 

“He shouldn’t be.”

“Can we patch into them again? I want to know what she’s planning,” Bucky says. In truth he just wants to hear Ciara’s voice. Knowing that the virus is closer to her heart than before is terrifying. He looks down at his right hand and studies his arm. He sees only the normal looking veins that run through the muscles of his arm, nothing out of the ordinary. 

“You’re worried.”

Bucky looks up at Steve who is looking back at him.

“Yeah. She didn’t ask for this -”

“Don’t get defensive, Buck. I know she didn’t. I know you didn’t -”

“Steve?”

“And there’s Widow,” Sam says. 

“Nat,” Steve responds. 

“She’s got thirty-six hours. Bruce and Tony figured out how rapidly it’s working. They’re trying to find a way to stop it. The more she exerts herself the faster it’s going to move.”

“Natasha, get off the comms,” Bucky says through clenched teeth. “Steve, get Ciara and Clint or I will.”

“Wait, Barnes!” Natasha snaps. “Cordova did have dealings with Fort Detrick. There may have been a cure there, but it’s not there anymore. Based on what Maria has deciphered it’s at Dulce.”

“Dulce?” Steve questions. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sam asks. 

“Where the hell is that?” Bucky demands. 

“Colorado, right on the Colorado/New Mexico border. They deal with…”

“Say it, Sam,” Natasha urges.

“They deal with genetic experiments,” Sam finishes. 

“I’m out. Fury is aware of the situation and Cordova’s continued bullshit fest. Get her and stop her before she hurts herself.”

Sam flips frequencies and they can hear Clint and Ciara still arguing.

“I called her by your name one night while we were in bed and you expect her to forgive that?” Clint demands. 

“Wow. Just...man, you better buy that lady flowers, chocolates, spa days, manicures, pedicures and you better get her a strap on because you damn sure need to take it in the ass for her.”

“This. This is why I cannot stand you somedays.”

“Why? Because you called your wife my name while you were between her legs? How the fuck is that my fault?”

Bucky snorts and he can hear Sam and Steve snickering. Despite what’s happening and the urgency of the situation, hearing Ciara call Clint out on his shit in such a colorful fashion is funny as hell. 

“I never said it was your fault! Oh my god, I feel so bad for Bucky - OW! What the fuck?”

“Clint,” Steve says interrupting their argument.

“Shit,” Clint groans. “It was nice knowing all of you.”

“Ciara,” Steve says ignoring Clint. “Before you do something stupid -”

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” Bucky groans. “Ciara, listen to me. The clock is ticking. Bruce figures you have thirty-six hours till it’s over. Hill decrypted more of Cordova’s bullshit. There is an antidote - we think - and it isn’t at Detrick,” Bucky says hastily.

“How are you feeling, babe?”

Bucky swallows his heart.

“I’m alright, doll. I’m scared for you. I’m not showing any signs yet.”

“You probably won’t. Steve, keep an eye on him. He starts getting winded, puking, anything, you sit his ass down and you hold him there till I get back. Where the fuck is the antidote?”

“Who’s in charge here?” Sam jokes. 

“That’s not how this works, Ciara. Clint, land the jet. We’ll regroup -”

“Rogers!” Ciara snaps. “Where is the antidote? Don’t fuck around or you may be the only one left alive.”

“Was that a threat?” Steve asks calmly. Sam sighs deeply and Bucky shakes his head.

“Do you need it to be? What the hell is wrong with all of you? HE IS IN DANGER OF DYING. Does that compute or do you need a fucking schematic?”

“Ciara!” Bucky yells.

“Enough. You’ve gone rogue. Fury thinks you took Barton hostage. Either land or Sam takes you down,” Steve orders.

“You’re going to let them shoot me and your hot piece of ass here out of the sky, Barnes?” Clint asks.

“Sam, disable one of the jets,” Steve orders. 

“I’ll take that as a yes. We’re landing, Kitty Cat. Today isn’t my day to die or yours.”

“For you it isn’t, Clint,” she agrees. Bucky doesn’t like the way that sounds. 


	37. Destination Dulce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forced to land by Steve, Clint and Ciara are now on the bigger Jet with Steve and Bucky. Bucky does everything he can to keep her calm because Cordova's virus is making an aggressive march towards her heart.

Ciara is so pissed off she’s uncannily calm. Even before the serum, this would be a dangerous place for anyone who crossed her path. She sits silently as Clint steals glances at her while he finds a place to land. The other jet has caught up with them and is now flying in formation with them. She stares ahead as Clint and Sam confirm their landing trajectories. She breathes slowly. Her chest hurts. She knows she’s short on time and the boys club is just screwing around now. 

The jet lands, Clint unbuckles himself but stays put, watching her.

“Ciara,” he says gently. She turns her head slowly and he recoils. He gets up and heads toward the rear of the jet. She unstraps and gets up. She sees the hatch is open and she can hear the boys talking as she heads in that direction. Bucky is onboard before she gets to the hatch.

“Doll,” he says putting his hands up to show he’s unarmed. “You’re running out of time. Sam’s taking this jet back. You, me, Steve and Clint are going to Colorado.”

“Are we?”

He steps back. She can see he’s not sure what to do with her right now. Her arm is starting to tingle. If they’re going to do this they better get to fucking stepping. 

“Ciara, stop,” he says reaching for her. She slips past him and steps off the jet. Since Rogers insists he’s in charge of this farce, she’s going directly to him. Clint and Sam both step back when they see her approach. Steve doesn’t flinch. 

“Time’s running out. If you insist you play escort then let’s get a move on,” she says, still keeping that eerie calmness. 

“We have thirty-one hours. We can be in Colorado in just under three hours,” Steve tells her. She feels Bucky come up beside her. 

“We need a plan, doll. We don’t go until we have one,” Bucky tells her. 

“Time is short,” she says flatly. “Either move or get out of my way.”

“Bucky won’t fight you, Ciara, but I will. If I have to immobilize you to keep you safe then so be it.”

“Ciara,” Bucky whispers. Ciara picks up on the fear in his voice. She doesn’t realize he has her left hand until she looks over at him. She never felt him touch her. Her whole arm has a tremor to it. 

“Dulce. Let’s go,” Steve says hurriedly. Sam gets on the jet she and Clint were on and takes off. Bucky keeps her arm in his and walks with her. 

“I can still use it, Buck. I just can’t feel it,” she tells him when he tries to strap her into the seat. He drops to a squat next to her. 

“The more you work yourself up the faster it moves. Bruce said thirty-six hours or something…”

“More like six at this point. We’ll burn half of that getting there. Take your shirt off, Buck.”

“Get strapped in,” Clint calls to them. 

“There’s nothing there, doll. I’ve been checking. Look,” he says showing her his right arm. It’s just muscle and veins and skin. 

“Shirt.”

He lifts his shirt and shows her his chest. Nothing shows up. She takes his chin between her finger and thumb and moves his head to inspect his neck. No signs of anything. 

“Strap in before Clint sends you flying backwards,” Steve orders. Bucky keeps his eyes on Ciara as he straps himself into the seat. Ciara unzips the combat jacket and Bucky leans over and helps her pull it off. 

“Let me see, doll,” he says reaching for her hand. The ink color has extended into the palm and top of her hand, into the fingertips, turning her nails black. Her hand trembles in his. 

“Let me see how far -”

“No. We need to focus. This is bad enough, Bucky. Three hours isn’t much time to search for what Cordova hid.”

“The more you exert yourself the faster it moves, baby. Right now you’re so pissed off at me and Steve and the world that you’re calm. I need you to  **_actually_ ** calm down.”

He’s trying to be calm himself, but she can hear the strain in his voice as he speaks. He loves her and the idea of losing her is killing him as much as it kills her to think about losing him. 

“I don’t know how…”

“Think of something that makes you happy. What makes you happy, Ciara?”

“You when you smile.”

She didn’t even have to think about that answer. She looks over at Bucky. He gives her a pained smile. 

“Why is that?” he asks. 

“Makes your eyes light up. You’ve got beautiful eyes.” 

“I was always mesmerized by yours, to be honest,” he says. He holds her hand, leaning over the seat in what looks like an entirely uncomfortable position just to be able to do so.

“What else makes you smile?” he asks. 

She stays silent for a few moments, debating on what she’s about to say.

“I crept into your place in Romania one night. I couldn’t sleep. You were sound asleep on that little cot. I sat on the floor next to the cot and watched you sleep, wishing I could hold your hand or brush your hair from your face or…” she laughs uneasily because this sounds like some crazy stalker shit. 

“Or?” he prompts her.

“Or finesse my way onto that cot with you so I could be in your arms. So I could put my arms around you. So I could hear your heartbeat. The thought of being that close to you again and not being able to touch you killed me that night, but the idea of being able to do any of that again was my hope...I sound like a deranged lunatic,” she says. He squeezes her hand and she looks at him. There are tears in his eyes. He lets her hand go, and unstraps himself.

“Buck, what are you doing?” she asks perplexed. He gets up and unstraps her and pulls her to her feet. He sits in her place and pulls her onto his lap.

“Relax. Relax, doll. I’ve got you. I’m not going to waste time wishing I could hold you. It’s not Romania, it’s not home, but -”

“Thank you,” she whispers as she adjusts herself so she can rest her head on his shoulder. She puts her hand on his chest and scratches lightly against the cloth of his shirt. 

“What else makes you happy, doll?” he whispers as he cradles her. 

“This,” she purrs. “Being with you makes me happy.”

“Yeah?”

“You smell good.”

He chuckles.

“Not the same stuff I was wearing the day we met, though.”

“I like this better.”

“I never did find a perfume like the one you were wearing that day. And I have looked everywhere.”

She laughs. 

“I found that in the storeroom at the compound. Someone must have left it behind. I liked how it smelled so I took it,” she tells him. “If they missed it I never heard about it.”

He laughs. 

“What was the name of it?”

“The Healing Garden? Jasmine something or other,” she says. He rubs her side slowly and gently and she closes her eyes. 

“I liked that.”

“Are you saying I stink?”

He starts to laugh again.

“No, doll. You smell like that lovely bland Ivory soap they have in there. It’s just that anytime I’ve caught a whiff of jasmine since that day I’ve had to search for it. It never quite matched you, though.”

“Synthetic jasmine. That sucks.”

“You like jasmine flowers?”

“I like stargazer lilies,” she replies absently. Breathing in his scent, being held in his arms, feeling the steadiness of his breathing, and the way he’s rubbing her side, Ciara knows she’s going to fall asleep in his arms. She’s also sure this is his intent. If she’s asleep, she’s calm and the virus doesn’t have a reason to be so aggressive.

“The pink and white ones?”

“Those. The funeral arrangement was a bit much.”

“I didn’t know what to get you so I had them do a little of everything,” he explains. 

“Hmmm…,” she mumbles as she buries her face in his neck. She breathes him in once more and the world drifts away. 

“Buck, you need to wake her up so you two can get strapped in,” she hears Steve say. “We’re about to land.”

“She’s exhausted, Steve.”

“I know she is, Buck. I know this is probably the best thing for her and I am beyond thankful and impressed that you got her to go to sleep, but for your safety and hers -”

“Hey, doll. Come on. We’re almost here,” he whispers. She feels him shifting under her and she opens her eyes. Her chest is sore like she’s pulled all the muscles on the left side. She looks at her arm.

“Focus on the task at hand, doll. Like you told me. Come on. We’ve got to strap in,” he says gently. He lets her go and Ciara stands up and stretches. The muscles in her chest catch and she winces. 

“Mind your advice, handsome,” she tells him when she sees him reach for her. He ignores her and takes her hands. He guides her to her seat and makes sure she’s strapped in before taking his own seat back. He stretches his hand across to her and smiles. She takes his hand and he gives it a light squeeze.

“When we get home we’re looking for a private place of our own. You and me, doll, a place just for us,” he promises. 

“You know they won’t let you do that. Not with me, at least.”

“Fuck them. Stark and Barton can live outside of the goddamn nuthouse so can we.”

“They won’t let us land. We aren’t being cleared and they’re scrambling fighter jets. They’ll be airborne in less than five,” Clint states. 

“How close can you get us, Clint?” Ciara asks. 

“I can buzz past, you three can parachute, but you’re still risking it.”

Ciara looks at Bucky. 

“We’re in their airspace,” he says. She can see he’s trying to come up with a plan. 

“Get us out of their airspace,” Steve orders. “We’re not equipped to have a dogfight up here.”

“Find us some cover and we’ll jump,” Ciara tells Clint. 

“It’s all brush and sand, Kitty Cat.”

“Fuck it,” Ciara says unstrapping. “Dump us before they get airborne, and get the fuck out of here.”

Bucky unstraps and grabs a pack that he tosses to Ciara. 

“Cap?” Clint asks looking for confirmation.

“Fuck it,” he replies and comes back with Ciara and Bucky. 

“Fuck it you want, fuck it shall be,” Clint says. “We’re about ten klicks from the front door. If you’re going, go now.”

The hatch opens, Bucky takes Ciara by the hand, grabs Steve and the three jump. Ciara isn’t here for freefall skydiving. There’s no time. She takes her hand from Bucky locks her arms and legs straight and swan dives, accelerating her descent. 

She pulls the chute a few moments later and the force of the straps pulling on her reminds her again of her limited time. It shouldn’t feel like her arms were being ripped off. 

She lands hard, ignores the flaring pain and pulls the deployed chute off. She sees Bucky and Steve tumble to the ground one after the other. There is little to no cover on the ground, just sparse brush, rock, and sand. They’ll be spotted a mile away. There’s no hope of going in covertly. 

“How far off course do you think we are?” Steve asks Bucky. They’re looking around trying to get their bearings. 

“Not far,” Bucky says. The sound barrier being broken interrupts them and a moment later a swarm of jets zooms over their heads. They’re looking for Clint.

“Clint, get the hell out of the area,” Steve orders. Bucky hands Ciara an extra comm. She puts it in her ear and he taps his to show her how to use it. They head in the direction the jets came from. 

  
  



	38. The Room With The Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's right there. So very close.

Steve, Ciara, and Bucky make it to the outside of the base. Steve is watching Ciara struggle and with her struggling Bucky is now struggling. She’s not giving up, which is good - even if she’s not out to save herself. Clint had called them soulmates. Steve’s going to submit their picture to the dictionary people as evidence. 

“Ciara,” Bucky says slowing to a trot and walking beside her. Steve stops. She’s flushed and panting, her hand is on her chest. 

“Move,” she growls. 

“Stay here,” Steve tells her. “We’ll go in -”

Ciara is at the gate before he can finish his thought. 

“I can’t babysit the two of you. This is stupid,” Steve says in exasperation. 

“Seriously?” Bucky says looking at him calmly. “I’m the level headed one.”

“That’s what scares me, Buck.”

Bucky gives Steve a less than amused look. 

“It’s electrified,” Ciara calls to them. She’s pacing back and forth looking for something. 

“He didn’t just train her to hunt and kill, he taught her how to strategize, immobilize and destroy,” Bucky says quietly. 

“They wanted a weapon, they got Duchess.”

She drops to her haunches and starts digging by the fence, pulling clumps of the dry earth up. 

“Steve, I need your shield.”

He pulls the shield from his back and squats next to her. 

“Short circuit it. Well done, doll,” Bucky says pleased. Steve’s impressed. She and Bucky dig a little deeper and then she takes his shield. 

“Get back. You’re a conductor. Go on,” she orders Bucky. Bucky looks at Steve who points for him to move back. Bucky gives Steve a shitty look and backs up about half a step. Steve shakes his head, he hears Bucky growl and then watches him step back a few more paces. 

Ciara finagles the shield into the hole she’s dug. Steve grabs her arm ready  to pull her back when the gate shorts out. She doesn’t notice. If she can’t feel anything and they shoot her…

There’s a low humming coming from the fence. 

“Get ready, Steve,” she says. She shoves the shield hard and there’s a loud crack and sparks fly everywhere. Steve yanks her backward forcing him to topple over with her on top of him. 

“This is a cozy little tête-à-tête but we’ve got shit to do,” she tells him and grins as she pushes herself off of him. Bucky is laughing. Steve isn’t amused.

“He likes you because you’re as much of a jerk as he is,” Steve says flatly. 

“I thought that’s why you liked him so much,” she says as she jumps on the fence and climbs over. Bucky snorts and goes after her. Steve picks up the shield, puts it on his back and follows them over the fence. 

There’s lots of movement heading for them. 

“If we split we can cover more ground,” Ciara suggests. Both Steve and Bucky shake their heads no. 

“Not happening, doll,” Bucky states.

“If something happens to you we need to be close enough to get to you,” Steve adds. 

“Alright. Fuck you both,” she grumbles and takes off running.

“Goddammit!” Bucky snaps as he and Steve chase after her. They catch up to her easily enough and Steve can’t help but wonder if that’s because she let them or because she’s getting that much worse. 

There are some outbuildings coming up, but nothing else. Steve taps his comm. 

“Clint, patch me through to Natasha,” Steve orders.

“On it.”

“Steve -”

“We’re on the base. Three outbuildings are all we see,” he relays to her.

“The base is underground. Which direction are you facing, Captain Rogers?”

That’s Fury’s voice. Steve doesn’t have time to be concerned with the fact that he should be concerned about Fury knowing where they are.

“Northeast,” Bucky states.

“The building on the far left. There should be what looks like a wall of computer servers at the far end. Head that way,” Fury directs. Ciara is already heading in that direction. 

They follow her and are confronted by three armed men with assault rifles. 

“We have orders to shoot you on sight, Captain Rogers. Don’t make us,” the younger one pleads. 

“You won’t have to,” Ciara says disarming him, hitting the second man in the forehead with the butt of the gun and then clocking the youngster with the gun. Bucky hits the third guy with a left hook and he’s out with his buddies. Ciara is patting down the youngster.

“Look for keys, badges, ID cards…” she says continuing to search him. Steve glances at Bucky who has stopped searching his guy and is watching Ciara pat down the groin area of the youngster with a bemused look on his face. 

“Buck,” Steve warns. Ciara looks up at Steve and then at Bucky. She smiles.

“When we’re done you can frisk me, doll,” Bucky tells her. 

“Keep it in your pants, Buck,” Steve tells him. 

“Heh,” she laughs. “If we make it out of here in one piece I promise you his pants won’t.”

The smile on Bucky’s face could be seen from a different solar system. 

“Challenge accepted. Let’s go,” Bucky says rapidly searching the other guard.

“Couldn’t go to Alaska where it’s nice and cold. Noooo, had to go someplace just as hot and bothersome as these two,” Steve gripes. He pulls two ID badges and a key swipe card off of his guard. 

“Ciara.”

Steve looks up. Bucky is on his knees next to Ciara, her hand pressed over her heart, a look of pain on her face. 

“I’m alright. I’m alright,” she says after a few seconds. She drops her hand and inhales deeply. 

“No you are not,” Bucky says. He’s clearly worried and scared. She shakes her head at him. 

“Ciara, can you keep moving?” Steve asks. He knows there’s no time left to debate what she can or cannot do now. 

“Yeah,” she says pushing herself up from the floor. Bucky takes her arm and kisses her quickly. 

“Come on.” 

Steve leads the way now, but there is no one else in the way. 

“They know we’re here,” Ciara says. Steve looks over his shoulder. She’s pale. Bucky is watching her intently. 

“Good,” Steve says as they come to the wall with the servers. “Fury, we’re here.”

“Look for a black tape wheel. That’s your entry point.”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Steve asks looking at Bucky. 

“This,” Ciara says grabbing what looks like an 8mm film reel. She pulls on it and the wall of blinking lights slides apart to reveal a hall. They step inside. Bucky has his rifle at the ready, Ciara has her’s draw and Steve is between and slightly ahead of them with the shield in front. 

The hall ends at a set of stainless steel doors. There is a sign written in what looks like fifty different languages warning of contagion from this point forward. To the left are white hazmat suits and face shields. 

“Not foreboding or anything,” Ciara remarks. She pulls two down and tosses them to Bucky and Steve. She grabs a third for herself. They hastily pull them on, glove up and put the masks on. 

“You should be at the steel doors,” Fury tells them. “Suit up. We don’t know with any certainty what Cordova or the other members of that facility have been working on.”

“Done. Heading in,” Steve advises. 

“Ready?” Ciara asks. Steve tosses her the keycard and ID badges. She swipes the keycard and the doors slide open. They’re greeted by a room full of people also in the white hazmat suits who have all stopped what they’re doing and are looking at them. Some of them are armed. Weapons are drawn and aimed at the trio. There’s an eerie silence in the room, no one moves, everything has stopped. 

It’s Ciara who makes the first move. Steve sees a flash of white and then sees her with a blade to someone’s throat threatening to remove their mask. 

“What happens if the mask comes off?” Steve hears her ask. Steve glances at Bucky hoping this is just Ciara doing something to keep them from getting shot and not her going full Winter Soldier like Buck had been. 

“The sensor alarms go off and this area is gassed. These suits don’t protect against the nerve agent,” the person Ciara has whimpers. 

“Drop your weapons or we all die,” she warns. 

“You’re not going to risk Captain America -”

“Do you want to tempt fate right now, little man?” she snaps. She has a hold of the mask ready to pull it off. 

“Drop them. We’re not here to hurt anyone. We’re after an antidote,” Steve tells them. “This doesn’t have to end in a fight.”

“We can’t let you have that, Captain Rogers.”

“It’s going to end in a fight,” Bucky growls. 

“I’ve got one person dying and another who may be infected. Don’t tell me you can’t let me have it. I will take it and you won’t stop me.”

“Please be advised Captain Rogers, that even if you, Sergeant Barnes and Duchess take the serum there are Blackhawks inbound with reinforcements. The serum will be lost and none of you will survive.”

Steve hears the familiar sound of a safety being flipped. He immediately looks at Bucky, but it’s Ciara. 

“Get out. Anyone who plans on living better get the fuck out, too,” Ciara warns. She has the rifle pointed at something over their heads. The unarmed personnel rush toward the door. Whatever she’s pointing at has them spooked. Some of the armed men lower their weapons, the more devout ones take aim at Ciara. 

“You advise this soldier that those Blackhawks are being met by Avengers, SHIELD and NATO sanctioned warbirds, fighter jets, two helicarriers and are carrying enough operatives to populate the mother fucking moon!” Fury barks into the trio’s comms. 

“Say it louder for the fuckers in the back,” Ciara says. 

“Consider it done,” Fury states. There’s a loud crackling noise as the PA system comes online.

“Attention all military personnel at Dulce Base. This is Director Nick Fury. You are hereby ordered to stand down. I repeat, your orders are to stand down and get the fuck out of the way."

“With all due respect Colonel Fury, we have our orders. No one gets that antidote.”

“Stand down, soldier,” Bucky warns. 

“I can’t do that, Sir.”

Ciara grabs her chest and lets go of her hostage who makes a hasty exit. The few remaining soldiers draw down on her. She drops to her knees. 

“ _ Ciara! _ ” Bucky yells. The soldiers focus on him, Steve makes his move, bouncing the shield off of the floor and hitting one of them. Ciara, in the commotion, has gotten up and beaten the other guard unconscious with just a couple of well-placed hits. Bucky has his head tilted and rifle aimed at the last two. 

“Don’t fucking move,” he warns them. 

Steve sees one of the soldier’s eyes dart up to the sprinkler system. Bucky saw it and that soldier is now out on the floor in a heap with an imprint of the butt of Buck’s rifle on his forehead. 

Ciara collapses to her knees. She’s gasping for air. This time she isn't acting. 

“No! No! Ciara! NO!” Bucky yells running to her. 

“WHERE IS IT?” Steve bellows at the last remaining guard. 

 


	39. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before you freak out and start cursing me in dead languages READ THE WHOLE CHAPTER. This has been a message from your friendly neighborhood fanfic writer.

Bucky sees Ciara drop to her knees and grab her chest. Panic washes over him like a tidal wave. 

_ “Ciara!” _ He yells running to her side. He can hear Steve arguing with the lone guard about where the antidote is. 

“Can’t...breathe…” she gasps. Bucky pulls her into his arm. She’s like an inferno. She’s tugging at her jacket trying to get it open. Bucky rips the jacket open and that’s when he sees the inky blackness creeping up the veins in her neck. His heart stops. 

“STEVE! NOW!” Bucky roars. He tears the jacket off of Ciara and pulls her shirt down only to see the black in her veins moving quickly all over. 

“Bucky…” she whispers. The light in her eyes is starting to fade. 

“Ciara, you have to fight. You have to hold on. Come on, goddammit, fight!” 

Her eyes open wide and some of the light comes back. 

“Get her up, Buck! I’ve got it!”

“Banner and Stark are inbound on you. ETA is less than two minutes. You have to get her outside,” Natasha tells them. 

“No shit,” Steve says. Ciara begins to cough. Bucky sits her up more and she pushes him away as she begins to vomit violently. She’s throwing up blood. 

“I need a medic at the door now!” Steve yells into the comm. Bucky tries to scoop up Ciara, but she pushes him away. 

“Get..away…” she chokes. 

“Yell at me later,” he snaps picking her up and running. 

“Bucky…”

“Save your energy, Ciara. Fight, baby!”

“I...love you…”

She goes limp in his arms. Bucky sees the blood start to trickle from her nose. He runs that much faster, pushing past anyone and anything in his way to clear a path for he and Steve.

“STEVE!”

“Right behind you! Run, Buck! Run!” Steve yells. 

Bucky sees Tony and Bruce standing outside in front of the landing dock for one of the helicarriers. 

“Bruce…” Bucky pleads. 

“Inside! Hurry!” Bruce orders leading him inside.

“Do you have the antidote?” Bucky hears Tony ask. 

“I’ve got it,” Steve replies. Bruce and Tony are struggling to keep up with Bucky and Steve. They get to medical, and that’s when Bucky sees Ciara has stopped breathing. 

_ “CIARA!!” _

“Get him out of here, Steve!” Tony yells. Bucky is fighting to get to her, Steve is pulling on him, Tony is pushing on him, Ciara isn’t breathing…

_ “CIARA!” _ He screams again. 

“Goddammit!” Steve yells getting in front of Bucky. “They can’t do anything if you’re in here screaming!”

“Steve…” Bucky whimpers. Steve puts his arm around him, turns him around and walks out of the room with Bucky. Bucky can’t see for the tears. He can hear the others demanding to know what’s going on. 

“What. Happened.” That’s Clint. 

“It moved faster than even she thought it was,” Steve tries to explain. Bucky pushes away from him and walks off. He doesn’t give a shit where he’s going. It doesn’t matter. He finds a secluded area on the helicarriers storage deck and slides down the wall, pulling his knees up and hanging his head. How could the fates be so cruel as to bring her back to him only to take her away again so quickly? Why couldn’t they take him and spare her? All he’s wanted since the day he met her was to be with her, to have a family with her, to love her. Each time he thought he would get her back she’s been taken away. And now….

Bucky pulls his knees to his chest, puts his head down and weeps. 

“Buck.”

Bucky doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have the strength to. If it weren’t for Steve being alive and being here somewhere, Bucky is pretty goddamn sure he’d have thrown himself off the helicarrier. 

“Buck, drink with me. I don’t want to drink alone.”

That’s not Steve. 

Bucky raises his head and sees Clint sitting on the floor in front of him with a bottle of Natasha’s best vodka. 

“It doesn’t do anything for me,” Bucky mutters.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to drink alone and you’re the only other person on this flying fucking circus who knew her.”

Bucky stares blankly at Clint. 

“She’s…”

“Half an hour ago. She flatlined. I was chased out and drug down the hall by Wilson and Rogers.”

Fresh tears well up in Bucky’s eyes. Why her?

“I don’t want to mourn her, Buck. I want to celebrate who she was. Who we knew. The feisty smartass with the red wine hair and stormy eyes,” Clint says softly. Bucky can hear him getting choked up as he talks. He hands Bucky the vodka and Bucky downs several large gulps. Refined and smooth. 

“She is a feisty smartass,” Bucky agrees. “Was,” he says sadly. He takes a few more swallows and hands the bottle to Clint. Clint downs some and wipes his mouth. 

“First time I met her I scared the shit out of her. She yelled at me. Wasn’t intentional,” Clint says. Bucky watches as Clint takes another long drink from the bottle. “I did it again and she was so loud she made everyone look. This was before she met you. How does that work? Does that mean I met her first or you did?”

Clint hands the bottle back to Bucky. He’s about to take a drink, but Clint’s question makes him take pause.

“Technically I did since it was 1942,” Bucky says and takes a drink. “Technically you did because she didn’t go back to 1942 until after she met you.”

“Not at all confusing.”

“Nope. I know why you liked her, Clint. I can’t say I blame you.”

Clint laughs. 

“She told me I couldn’t hold a candle to you, Buck. But goddamn…”

“Tell me more about when you met,” Bucky says taking the bottle from Clint and drinking more. Anything he can hear about Ciara will make her memory that much more dear to him. And right now...right now he can’t face the fact she’s gone. Later he’ll deal with it, but not now. 

“I caught her eyeing me up. Asked her if she saw what she liked,” Clint says taking the bottle and drinking more. He grins as he remembers. “She asked me if I wanted her to stroke my ego and say yes.”

Bucky chokes out a laugh. 

“When I went to see her in medical she was in the shower,” Bucky says as Clint hands him the bottle. “I walked into the bathroom and was greeted with her saying if I was anyone other than James Barnes she was going to rip their balls out through their throat.”

Clint chokes on the mouthful of vodka he has. 

“What did you do?” he asks between coughs. 

“What the hell could I do? I was trying to get over the visceral image she put in my goddamn head.”

They both laugh and drink more. 

“I watched her put the pieces of their pocket watch time traveling clusterfuck together. Or try to. She got all the pieces to fit. They yelled at her. She never batted an eye, Buck. The only person she was afraid of was Cordova. And you the first time she crossed paths with you in our time. You let her go. She stole a fucking laptop and searched for you, Buck. Even before she officially met you, you had a hold on her. That’s some impressive shit.”

“Stop being jealous,” Bucky grouses and takes the bottle from him. 

“Can’t help it. I flirted with her and regretted it because of Laura and then I’d see her and flirt with her more and...do you know she likes having her head rubbed?”

Clint’s drunk. Or at least mostly drunk. Bucky cocks an eyebrow at him. 

“She likes her head rubbed or you like her rubbing your head?” Bucky asks. Clint takes the bottle and drinks long and deep.

“I’m not gonna lie, Buck. There were lots of nights I’d dreamt about her rubbing my head. But no, her head. She had a headache. She was dehydrated, fucking girl never ate right. I made her go with me to the mess hall and got her to drink water. She put her head down. It just seemed like the thing to do...rub her head. The smile on her face…”

Bucky takes the bottle and drinks more. Clint knows more little details about Ciara than he does. He’s jealous of this, but Clint is jealous of him, also.

“I made her sit in a chair and I told her to stay -”

“Oh, this should be good,” Bucky muses and takes another drink. 

“She said woof.”

They both laugh again. 

“She ran into me so hard she damn near toppled me over. She bounced off of me and if I hadn’t caught her she’d have landed on her ass,” Bucky says handing Clint the nearly three-quarters empty bottle. Clint is swaying a little. He smiles wearily and motions for Buck to keep going and takes another drink.

“She’d say some of the most off the wall shit about stuff,” Bucky continues. “Just right off the cuff and all I could do was laugh. She got me in on it. Then she started laughing. It was like we’d known each other for years.”

“I heard you telling her she smelled like jasmine.”

“She did smell like jasmine. It fit her - exotic, enticing, beautiful. I know how you feel, Clint. She had me the moment I laid eyes on her. I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t impressed with all the technological wonders that day,” Bucky muses as he thinks back.

“It’s because she’s a fucking tech head herself, Buck. If I had to wager a guess the only thing that impressed her that day was you.”

“You’d win that wager, Clint,” Bucky says taking the bottle and taking another drink. 

“How’d you win her over enough to get her to agree to marry you after like an hour?”

Bucky grins a little. 

“Gave her all my best lines. She called me on my crap. I kept going. I kept her either in my arms or on my arm. I promised I would love her for eternity.”

“And thus far you’ve kept that promise,” Steve says appearing out of nowhere. Clint eyes him and then laughs. 

“He’s drunk,” Bucky explains and shows Steve the nearly empty bottle of Vodka. 

“What have I told you about drinking with mortals?” Steve says jokingly. 

“That was you and Thor, asshole,” Bucky reminds him.

“Thor tried to give you that shit that would kill a mortal man,” Clint says and then laughs at the memory. “Thor’s a fucking riot.”

Steve smiles and shakes his head. The mood quickly changes and both Bucky and Clint are suddenly sullen and silent. 

“You do realize she’s alive and stable and no one has been able to find you two idiots for like two hours?” Steve asks. 

  
  



	40. Ciara Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's alive! But what happens now?

Bucky blinks at Steve. He’s trying to process what Steve’s just said and he can’t. Either his brain actually cannot process what was said or his brain flat out refuses to do so. 

“She flatlined,” Clint argues, his voice filled with anger. “I watched her. You had to drag me out, remember?”

“She did flatline. You were flipping out, Sam and I had to drag you down the hall. During that time Bruce, Tony, and the medical team managed to revive her -”

“She’s alive?” Bucky asks. He’s still unsure as to what’s going on. He’s starting to wonder if Clint laced the vodka with something for the both of them. 

“Natasha, Sam, myself...we’ve been looking for you two jackasses for two hours. Two hours,” Steve says tiredly. 

“But...she’s alive?” Clint asks. Bucky is under the impression he and Clint are stuck in some kind of fucked up alternate reality where no one answers the important questions. 

“Yeah,” Steve says like this shouldn’t be a surprise. 

“How?” Clint asks. Bucky gets up off the floor and cracks his neck.

“The long and short of it is, she flatlined, they shot her full of adrenalin and the antidote. She came back. She’s unconscious. Bruce put her into what he called a medically induced coma so her body could heal and she could rest,” Steve explains. 

The realization that Ciara is alive finally sinks in. Bucky’s eyes widen, Steve grins and nods toward the way out. Bucky takes off running. He has to see for himself if she’s really alive. 

He runs into the med bay and nearly runs over Tony. 

“Barnes,” Tony warns angrily, “watch your step. If I had known -”

“Don’t, Stark. She had nothing to do with what happened between you and I. Whatever issues there are between us, take it out on me, leave her out of it. Leave Steve out of it. I never meant to do any of those things -”

“So you’ve said. Let Bruce know you’re here. Try to keep from running him over. He’s trying to figure out how to synthesize the antidote from your wife over there.”

“Wife?”

Tony looks at him in a very unamused manner. The slow blink tells Bucky to just walk away. Bucky smiles, though. Tony referred to Ciara as Bucky’s wife. Does he dare to have hope?

“Bruce,” Bucky calls and knocks softly on the wall to alert Bruce to his presence. 

“Buck,” Bruce responds tiredly. “She’s in there. Be very quiet. I don’t know how deep she is in that coma or when she’ll come out. I want to show you something first.”

Bucky sees Bruce flip something up on a monitor. He sees what look like tiny spiders…

“Jesus Christ...is that the virus?” Bucky asks. 

“It is,” Bruce says. “Watch this.” 

Bruce drops something onto the slide under the microscope. Bucky can see it hit on the monitor, everything turns red and then the red fades away. The nano-bugs are now convulsing on the screen. 

“What is that? Did you put that in her? What if it hurts her?” Bucky demands. 

“It’s her blood, Bucky. This is her blood with the antidote in it. This is the antidote kicking that serum they gave her into warp overdrive to kill the bugs,” Bruce explains. “This is why he didn’t want her to have it. It forces the serum to adapt to put up a counteroffensive. The virus was designed to turn the serum against her entirely. That’s why her veins were black, that’s why she started to bleed out. The serum was what was killing her, not the virus.”

“But the antidote fixed that, right?” Bucky asks looking for solid confirmation that Ciara is safe now.

“Yes. But,” he says looking at Bucky, “I want a sample of your blood. Steve gave me some of his. I need to see how the serum in you reacts with the virus. I need to know if we need to synthesize the antidote for the two of you. And, I need to ask you something personal.”

Bucky was looking over his shoulder at the dark room behind them where he’s guessing Ciara is when Bruce says this.

“Personal on what level?”

“I know you love her. I know you two were going to be parents. I’m not stupid enough to believe that you won’t jump on her the first opportunity you get. Or she you. Whichever. Doesn’t matter. What matters is...do you plan on trying again for a family with her, Buck?”

Bucky looks at Bruce but doesn’t respond. If this is SHIELD’s fucking attempt to do some next-level-underhanded-bullshit somebody’s going to pay for it and pay for it dearly. 

“Why.”

“I love how your questions come out as statements. I’m kidding. Because I want to make sure you two don’t suffer any more crap, Buck. Because after all the shit that’s happened with you and now with her...I’m a doctor, first and foremost. I take care of my patients. If you two want to have children I just want to try and prepare for anything...adverse or otherwise that may happen,” Bruce explains. Bucky steps back in surprise. 

“You’re talking about the serum.”

“Her serum reacts like this to the virus. What will it do to some other foreign substance like blood if she needs a transfusion or seminal fluid when you two...you know…”

Bucky looks over at the darkened room. 

“What are the odds?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. I’m not doing this to make you uncomfortable -”

“I know you aren’t, Bruce. I’ve wanted to have a family with her since 1942. Losing our son...you’re right, she’s been through enough. Whatever you need from me I’ll do it.”

“You’ve  **_both_ ** been through enough, Buck. Both of you. If I can help it, and SHIELD doesn’t screw everyone over with this, I’ll do my best to make sure you both stay healthy and if possible, that you both have the family you were robbed of. Somebody in this godforsaken nuthouse should get to be happy, dammit!”

Bruce is trying to be a hardass but Bucky sees right through the act and smiles. 

“Can I go see her?” Bucky asks looking back at the darkened room.

“You can. After you give me some blood.”

“Goddamn vampire,” Bucky grumbles. Bruce grins a little. Bucky lets Bruce stick him and he counts five different size vials of blood Bruce takes.

“Seriously. You’re a fucking vampire, Bruce.”

“There’s a cup in the bathroom around the corner.”

“You’re not serious,” Bucky asks. He’s starting to feel violated. Bruce looks at him evenly. 

“You want to find out now or when she gets pregnant, Buck? Or when you two try to get pregnant and can’t?”

Bucky sighs heavily and shuffles to the bathroom like a sad child. 

“Just think of your first time with her,” Bruce calls after him, the humor coming through in his voice. Bucky flips him off and Bruce laughs. 

He shuts himself in the bathroom and sees the sterile cup waiting patiently for him on the metal counter caddy corner to the sink. He had come in here to see his girl, not jack into a goddamn little cup. 

“Think about our first time together,” Bucky mutters as he puts the stupid cup down. He undoes his belt, pops the button on his jeans and pulls the zipper down. He yanks the jeans down over his hips and stares at the cup. He’s got no urge to stroke one out. All he can think about is the fact that the love of his life nearly died. He watched the light in her eyes start to fade away. He saw her bleeding out. He felt her stop breathing in his arms. She’s alive now. She survived thanks to Bruce and Tony giving her the antidote, but just barely. And what if she doesn’t want to have kids now? What if all this shit she’s had to endure has soured her to the idea of a family? Is it really worth knowing that they  **_can_ ** have a family if she doesn’t want one? What if she never wanted one in the first place and it just so happened he’d left her with a parting gift? He’s wanted a son so badly for so long and the hope and desire to have a son with her had been so overwhelmingly strong that he only focused on how happy he would be and how much he wanted that. Never what she wanted. Has he been so selfish this whole time? She promised to wait for him...she’s lost years while he was with Hydra that she could have spent…

Bucky pulls his jeans back up, buttons, zips and redoes the belt. This is his guilt and anxiety and depression and PTSD all ganging up on him at once now. He runs the cold water in the sink and splashes his face a few times. 

He steps out of the bathroom. Bruce isn’t where he was, so Bucky heads towards the room he’s assuming they’re keeping Ciara in. 

The room has the equivalent of a night light on. That, along with the muted lights of the machines she’s hooked up to, are the only source of light in the room. Ciara is only partially upright, an IV hooked up at the crease of her right arm, a BP cuff around her wrist. She has oxygen being supplied through a nasal cannula. She’s pale, deathly pale. The dark circles under her eyes exacerbate the lack of color on her face. He walks over to the left side of her bed and looks at her arm. The black, inky looking shit that was in her veins is fading. He pulls her gown down a little around her neck being careful not to disturb her so he can see if the inky shit is still there. It is, but it’s nearly gone now. He can see where it had started to creep up along her jaw and onto her cheek. Again, it’s faded, but the idea that it spread so fucking fast at the end terrifies him. He fixes the gown and pulls the blanket up a little more to cover her up a little better. When he looks at her face he’s startled to see her watching him. She smiles weakly. He brushes a strand of hair from her brow and gives her his best smile. 

“How do you feel, beautiful?”

“Better now that I see you.”

“The feeling is mutual, I promise,” he says taking a partial seat at the edge of the bed. “I thought I’d lost you, Ciara.”

“Are you infected? Can I see?” she asks, pulling on his hand to bring him closer. He grins.

“I think you just want me to strip,” he teases. Her smile falters. 

“Bucky…”

He pulls his shirt over his head and shows her his bare chest. She struggles to sit up more. He steps closer to her, lifts her up gently and sits on the bed again. She’s examining his chest, running her fingers lightly over his bare skin, her eyes searching for any indication she’s gotten him sick. She takes his right arm and examines it just as thoroughly. 

“Your back,” she says and makes a spinning motion with her finger. He humors her, stands up, and turns around so his back is to her. He feels her fingers on his back and is reminded he’s never felt her touch him like this. He’s never slept next to her. He’s never done a lot of things with her. He doesn’t know a lot of things about her…

He feels her tugging on the belt loop on the back of his jeans. He looks over his shoulder at her. She has an eyebrow skewed at him. 

“Are you ignoring me now?” she asks. Her voice is so soft, so tired sounding, so weak…

“Am I? No, not intentionally, doll. Why?” he asks getting his shirt and putting it back on. “Am I clean, doc?” he asks her after he gets his shirt on. It’s his attempt to make a joke. She’s not amused in the slightest. 

“You’re lucky -”

“I knew I wasn’t going to get it, doll.”

He should have just kept his mouth shut. The look of anger and disbelief on her face makes him take a step back.

“Look at me, I’m a super soldier. I got two doses of a serum that some asshole stole from some other asshole. Now me and my BFF are all hopped up looking like fucking juiceheads and I think I’m FUCKING INVINCIBLE!” 

The last part was meant to be yelled, she strains her voice and it comes out more as a hiss, but the point is made. She just called him stupid in the longest way possible. 

“Ciara, stop. I didn’t come running in here to fight with you. Bruce is working with Tony on making sure there’s more antidote on the very off chance Steve and I should get infected. You died, baby. You -”

She’s shaking her head and grunts at him in disgust. 

“You don’t get it. You spent seventy years in and out of freezers being used by some asshole outfit. I have spent the last several years trying to save you. Trying to keep you safe. Trying to protect you. I have watched my best friends get shot point blank, I have been subjected to god knows what. Cordova killed everything in me but that spark you put there when I went back. You made me promise you I would wait. I kept my word. I told you I loved you, and I meant every fucking word. I would have died a hundred times, a thousand times, ten thousand if it meant you would be spared, you would be saved. For you to stand there and blow off this virus like it’s inconsequential knowing it nearly took me out…” 

She stops talking and looks away from him. Bucky swallows the lump in his throat. 

“I didn’t mean for it to come across like that, Ciara -”

“I’m tired. I want to go to sleep.” 

She rolls over on her side facing away from him and closes her eyes. Bucky doesn’t know what to say at this point. Is she being hypersensitive about this or is he not taking this seriously enough for her? He doesn’t want to leave her alone, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t want to deal with him right now. He hangs his head and walks out of the room. 


	41. Bruce Explains and Bucky Lashes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce breaks down Bucky's love for Ciara, and Ciara goes to apologize, but things don't go as planned.

Ciara’s nightmares are hazy fragments of her past, broken dreams, and horrible tricks of the mind. She dreams of Gabe, Hattie and Michael singing her happy birthday, but they’re all at the Pavilion and dressed in period clothing. She sees Bucky arrive in his uniform carrying their son, but he’s with some other girl. They’re laughing. Steve shows up and yells congrats at him. Hattie, Gabe, and Michael chime in like they’ve all known each other for centuries. They start toasting to Sergeant and Mrs. Barnes. Ciara looks at her cake and it’s not a birthday cake, it’s a wedding cake. Everyone is now dressed for the wedding, Duke Ellington is there playing the first dance for Bucky and his new bitch. Their son runs around with Steve yelling  _ “Unca Stevie” _ . She sees Cordova and Van Doran smirking as they propose a toast to the happy couple. She looks at Hattie and Michael, desperately wanting to ask them what the fuck is happening. She’s horrified to see their decaying bodies sitting at the table, bullet holes still seeping fresh blood as they laugh and clap for Bucky and this woman. Bucky is in the middle of the floor with this woman, his hands all over her, stripping her in front of everyone and then making a mortifying display of loving her in the middle of the dance floor. Everyone is cheering. Steve is laughing. Hattie and Michael are literally falling to pieces. She looks at Gabe and sees something that shakes her to her very core. He’s dressed in the same gear Bucky was when he attacked her as the Winter Soldier, his mouth is muzzled, his eyes are entirely vacant and he’s four times the size he was when she last saw him. Four times the size. He turns and looks directly at her.

“Death stalks us all.”

Ciara wakes up screaming, her heart is racing so wildly she’s set all the sensors in the room off. 

“Hey! Hey!” Bruce yells running into the room. Ciara isn’t sure where she is right now. Everything is colliding in her head. The nightmare, this world, the past, the present…

Bruce is talking to her, trying to calm her down. 

“Where am I?”

“Avengers HQ. We got back a while ago. You were sound asleep again. I didn’t even know you woke up until Bucky -”

He stops talking and purses his lips. 

“Where is he?”

“Drinking? Running around the complex? Working out?  Depends on what kind of mood he’s in. He doesn’t sleep,” Bruce tells her. 

“Is he infected? He doesn’t seem to give a flying fuck if he is or not.”

Bruce’s eyes widen at her hostile tone.

“No. He and Steve are both good. I checked them both to be sure. There is no sign of the virus -”

“Is it still in me?”

“Yes. It’s dead, though. It’s just going to take a while to clear completely from your system.”

“Am I contagious?”

“No.”

“You know this for a fact?”

Bruce opens his mouth to say yes, closes it, thinks for a moment and then answers. 

“Yes. I took a sample of Bucky’s blood and tested it against the dead little shits. Nothing happened. His antibodies ate them up, burped out a few pieces of debris and kept going. It didn’t change them. I’m still monitoring them, but so far nada,” Bruce explains. Now Ciara sighs in relief. Bucky is okay. The stupid shit. 

“What’s the damage to me?”

“None. Even after flatlining, the serum rebuilt the damaged tissue so fast it was like nothing had happened. Aside from your body needing a lot of rest, you’re in good shape. Do you want me to go get him?”

“No. I want you to help me unhook from this shit.”

“Then what? If I let you run around the complex unsupervised…”

“You said it yourself, I need rest. I need to find Bucky. If I tire out I’ll crash someplace,” she says with a shrug. Bruce studies her. 

“You’re not going to run off looking for Cordova again?”

“Not immediately no. But I’m not going to lie to you, Bruce. I will find that fucker. No one here will stop me. He’s not doing this to anyone else.”

Bruce nods and starts working on removing the tape from her IV. 

“His room is at the other end of the complex. Are you sure you’re up to this? I mean, I can get a chair and wheel you -”

She gives Bruce a harsh look. He puts his hands up and stops. 

“You need to rest. No crap, Ciara. Your heart took one hell of a beating. Yes, all the tissue and muscle is healed, but your heart needs time to recuperate. As does the rest of you. I can’t stop you from doing whatever it is that’s making you go to his room…”

Ciara laughs. 

“You think I’m going in there to jump on him and fuck his brains out, Bruce?”

Bruce inhales deeply and says nothing. This amuses her even more. 

“It’s not my place to tell you if you should have relations or not. All I’m saying is to take it easy.”

“I see. So, instead of going in there, throwing him down on the bed, ripping his clothes off and fucking his brains out till I have a heart attack, I should maybe just get a mustache ride and be happy with that?”

“Hypocratic oath,” he mutters, but Ciara sees he’s blushing and smirking. “I’m going to put Bucky on vitamin supplements.”

“Why?” she demands. 

“To keep up with you and your shit,” Bruce retorts. 

“That’s evil. I’m not the one who starts shit,” she counters. Bruce looks at her in amazement. 

“Oh, you two are a match made in heaven. Steve’s going to have a field day keeping tabs on you two,” he laughs. She scratches her cheek with her middle finger and Bruce laughs more. 

They finish up, Bruce brings her something to put on so she’s not running around the hall with her ass hanging out. 

“You sure you don’t want to shower first?” he asks again.

“Do I smell that fucking bad, Bruce? Seriously? You’re making me paranoid. I have enough of that with the shit in my head.”

“I didn’t say that,” he objects. 

“The longer I stand around here, the longer it’s going to take me to find Buck. I have to conserve energy so I can yell at him,” she says flatly. 

“Oh dear god,” Bruce groans. “Why??”

“He’s an idiot.”

“Says the one who -”

“Don’t you do it, Banner,” she warns with a smile. “You’re getting ballsy, you know that?”

“I haven’t slept since you arrived. Yeah, I’m a little punchy. Just promise me you won’t fight with each other. He loves you, Ciara. That man has been in pieces since they brought you back the first time.”

“He and I need to talk, Bruce. There’s a very big disconnect right now...I spent years looking for him, trying to keep him safe. Once he broke Hydra’s control...he didn’t remember me until I went to him in Romania. He let that memory of me go. I don’t know what he’s clinging to right now, Bruce. I don’t know if what happened in 1942 was supposed to carry over to this time, or if it was supposed to end that day.”

“He loves you. Do you know how rare that is?” Bruce persists. “Maybe he did forget for a while, Ciara. They fried his brain like an egg each time they gave him orders. The fact he can wipe his own ass is nothing short of a miracle here. The fact still remains that he remembers you now. He remembers the love he had for you and he still carries that flame for you. It’s not just a flame, it’s like napalm.”

“Do you understand that I have loved this man since the second I laid eyes on him in 1942? Morbid curiosity aside, the second I saw him and he smiled I was fucking done, Bruce. He could have asked me for anything and I would have done it more than willingly. I regret coming back to this time, Bruce. I regret it every fucking day because I still believe that if I had stayed I could have prevented all this fucking shit from happening. That he and I could have had the family we wanted. We could have been married. I could have convinced him not to go into the service -”

“No, Ciara, you couldn’t. He was drafted. He didn’t have a choice.”

Time stops. The weight of Bruce’s statement engulfs her like quicksand.

“Where is his room, Bruce?”

Bruce tells her where to go and Ciara leaves the medical wing. She’s still trying to digest the fact that Bucky was drafted. Nothing in her searches showed that, or maybe she’d overlooked it? He was drafted. There wouldn’t have been any saving him if she had stayed. And even if she had, his desire to do what’s right would have outweighed anything she could have offered him. 

Her thoughts churn on this and Bruce telling her how much Bucky loves her, that it’s physically evident how much he loves her. She’s got to stop being such a cunt. In her zealot like desire to keep him protected she’s not noticed his fierce attempts to shield and protect her. 

Halfway there her body starts warning her to take a break. Her muscles ache and she’s feeling like she’s drugged. She leans against the wall and closes her eyes for a moment. The nightmare tries to bring itself to the forefront, but she pushes it away. She needs to find Bucky and make sure he knows he’s not the only one with strong feelings. 

She finds the wing where all the rooms are. There’s some petite redhead who smiles at her and nods toward a partially closed door. Who the hell is she? Jesus Christ, does Bucky collect redheads for sport?

She stands outside the door, tilts her head and listens. There only sound she hears she can’t quite make out. It’s the sound of a pen on paper. The scratch of the fine point as it’s being drug over the sheet of paper. He’s writing. She debates on disturbing him now. 

She takes a deep breath and knocks lightly, staying away from the door so he can’t see who it is. The writing stops, but there’s no answer. Her heart is racing, she’s not sure if it’s nerves or what, but it’s not pleasant. 

After a few moments the writing starts again. The shithead. She knocks again. She hears a very aggravated sigh come from the room. 

“Steve, I swear to Christ I’m not in the mood for your shit right now.”

He’s pissed. Ciara opens the door a little.

“What about for my shit?” she asks standing in the doorway. He’s sitting in the middle of the unmade bed, a notebook open in front of him. He looks at her but doesn’t say anything or make any movement towards her. 

“You trying to escape again, doll?” he asks, his voice bland and lifeless. 

“The thought had crossed my mind, but no. At least not right this second.”

He nods his head and looks down. He closes the notebook and puts the cap back on the pen. 

“I’m not going to stop you if you do, Ciara. You do what you have to do.”

Her lips twitch. She leans against the doorframe, battling to stay upright on legs made of cheap rubber. 

“I came to apologize for being a cunt.”

He cringes. 

“Why do dames use that word? Why does  **_anyone_ ** use that word?” he asks. He finally looks up at her. She shrugs. 

“Bitch doesn’t cover it sometimes. How mad are you, James?”

“Pretty pissed, doll. Your head is so far up my ass you can’t see what’s right in front of you. You think the world revolves around how I feel that day and you’re hellbent on destroying everything that gets in the way of your vision for my happiness. Your vision. Not mine. But I guess that’s fair since I never took the time to find out what the hell you wanted,” he says sounding defeated. “I don’t know anything about you, Ciara. Everything I’ve loved about you was based on things that I wanted. Your body, a baby, a family. I could have gotten that from any dame.”

Ciara’s heart breaks. She feels it shatter. He says something else, but she’s already walking away. 


	42. Clint Checks In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one else wants to deal with Ciara so they send in Clint. Again.

An hour later Ciara is standing in the shower leaning against the wall. The shock of what Bucky has said to her has forced her to cloak herself in a defensive numbness to the world. She refuses to think about his words, refuses to think about him, refuses to think about anything. She lets the numbness shield her and the emptiness slowly devour her. 

She gets out and is greeted by Natasha. 

“I’m supposed to make sure you know which room is yours. Bucky is looking for you.”

“Which room is mine, Natasha?” she asks. She doesn’t even recognize her own voice now. Natasha looks at her quizzically. 

“It’s this way. There are clothes and toiletries in there for you. Fury wants to talk to you later...maybe wait until you’ve slept a little more,” Natasha suggests. She opens the door to one of the rooms and steps aside. Ciara steps inside. 

“Yeah,” she replies. 

“What do you want me to tell Buck?” 

“Whatever you want,” Ciara says and shuts the door. She slides down against the bed to the floor and stares into space. There’s nothing left now. She’s lost everything. It’s all gone. 

She leans her head back and closes her eyes wishing for death. 

“Come on, Kitty Cat.”

She feels arms lifting her up and then feels the softness of a bed under her. She opens her eyes and sees Clint hovering over her. 

“Go away.”

“Nice to see you, too. You’ve been in here for twelve hours. No one has seen or heard from you. Everyone but Bruce is too scared to come check on you it seems.”

“Yet here you are,” she mumbles. 

“Bucky and Steve are out on a mission with Natasha and Bruce. That’s why Buck didn’t…” Clint trails off. “Fury wants to see you.”

“I don’t care.”

“You can’t stay here and just mope around, Ciara.”

“Then let me walk out, Clint.”

“Cordova is still a threat.”

“I’m sure you and your troop will take care of that,” she replies. 

“What happened, Ciara? Buck’s in a mood, too. He bit Steve’s head off before they left. What set you two off?”

She shrugs. 

“I need you to pull yourself out of this funk you’re in, Kitty Cat. You’re not helping anyone by acting like this. Fury wants to see you, I was sent to collect you.”

She huffs a harsh laugh. 

“They always send you in to clean up after me, Clint. You should be tired of that.”

“I am, to be honest, but that’s not your fault, mostly. Look, you can’t mope in here. Fury wants the intel you have on everything. He expects you to join the team.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Do you really want to find out what his alternative is?” Clint asks. 

“Put me in a cage until I rot away most likely.”

“I wish I could say that wasn’t an option, but I can’t.”

“Do I get a choice?”

“Jesus Christ! What the fuck did you and Buck do to each other?!” Clint demands. Ciara doesn’t answer. She closes her eyes and sighs. She feels Clint’s fingers on her head rubbing gently. 

“There are two people here you trusted at one time, Ciara. Me and Buck. Whatever you and Buck are going through...that’s not you and me. I’m still here, we’re still friends. I can’t help you figure this shit out unless you talk to me.”

“Go spend time with Laura.”

“Laura and I are working things out, asshole. I have you to thank for that. I’m not buying a strapon for her to wear, though.”

She snickers despite how empty she feels right now. 

“You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Comes from hanging around assholes like you,” he counters. “Come talk to Fury and then let’s get something to eat. I’m feigning for pancakes and bacon.”

Ciara opens her eyes and her stomach growls. Bacon. 

“That a girl,” Clint says proudly. “I knew the bacon would get you.”

 


	43. Bruce Tells Bucky How It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is so beyond tired of Ciara and Bucky's shit right now....

“Buck.”

“Steven.”

Steve blinks, shocked at the full name usage. 

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Steve demands. Bucky dismantles the rifle in order to store it on the jet. 

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, right. What’s  **_really_ ** the matter?” Steve presses. Bucky sighs heavily. 

“I don’t know,” Bucky replies. 

Bruce is watching the conversation between Steve and Bucky but hasn’t said anything yet. 

“Bullshit,” Steve grumbles. “You’ve had a bug up your ass since we got back with Ciara.”

“That’s because it’s Ciara that has him upset,” Bruce says calmly. Steve and Bucky look at Bruce in mild surprise. 

“Am I wrong?” Bruce asks. 

“Is he wrong?” Steve asks. 

“It doesn’t matter if you are or not,” Bucky says, refusing to feed into this conversation. 

“What happened this time?” Steve persists. 

“It. Doesn’t. Matter.”

Steve looks at Bucky, clearly pissed off at Bucky’s defiance at explaining what the hell is going on. 

“Will you listen if you won’t talk, Buck?” Bruce asks. 

“No.”

“Fair enough,” Bruce says with a shrug. 

“I’m about sick of your shit, Barnes,” Steve warns. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can try and help or pull the pole out of your ass,” he snaps. He goes to the front of the jet with Natasha leaving Bucky and Bruce alone. 

“Don’t start,” Bucky warns him. Bruce shrugs.

“I wasn’t going to try and coerce you into talking,” Bruce says calmly. “Or listening,” Bucky hears him say under his breath. 

Bucky buckles the straps and sits quietly playing the last thing Ciara heard him say over and over and over. 

**_I could have gotten that from any dame._ **

She had walked away before he could tell her that he was thinking of starting over. With her. Letting the past go and just…

He had tried to find her, but she’d disappeared somehow. By the time he located her, she was taking a shower. He sent Natasha after her, begging Nat to tell her that he wanted to see Ciara. Natasha had begrudgingly agreed. She reported back that Ciara didn’t even acknowledge the attempts to mention Bucky. Then they got the call to leave. 

“You’re both stupid,” Bruce says after a while.

“What?” Bucky snaps. 

“You heard me. She’s so infatuated with you that she’s done some stupid shit that’s involved putting herself at risk to protect you. Her only thought and concern has been making sure you aren’t infected, making sure you live the life she thinks you should have -”

“Which is part of the fucking problem, Bruce,” Bucky growls. 

“Why? Because she wants you to be happy, Buck? Because she thinks so highly of you and thinks that you deserve not just the world but the entire universe? Because the only reason she’s not given up and let death take her is because of her devotion to you and trying to make sure you’re happy? Her means are way out of whack, but the ends are just.”

Bucky doesn’t respond. 

“She didn’t know you were drafted, Buck. She was still beating herself up for not staying in 1942 with you. She had herself convinced that if she had stayed she could have kept you there, kept you from serving in the army, and you two could have grown fat and old together.”

Bucky’s eyes widen at Bruce’s tone. His usual mild mannerisms are slipping to the wayside and this no bullshit side of him is coming out more and more now. 

“Why’d you tell her I got drafted -”

“Because she didn’t know, and she blames herself for not protecting you from the start. How many women throughout all the history of time have been so devoted to a man that they’ve risked life and limb, stayed celibate for years on end, hunted, killed, destroyed...and all for the love and devotion they hold to that  **_one man_ ** ?” Bruce asks. 

“She’s insane,” Bucky mumbles. 

“Pot. Kettle. Black,” is the response he gets. Bucky is starting to wonder if Bruce’s personalities are merging. 

“Did you just tell me I’m insane?” Bucky asks after a moment. 

“I did. I also told her that your brain was shocked so much you’re lucky you can wipe your own ass.”

Bucky desperately wants to be pissed off at Bruce, but the phrasing he’s using and the tone the man has make it impossible and Bucky can’t stifle his laugh. 

“You told her that?”

“I did. You don’t realize just how stupid you two are for each other. I would sell my soul to have a woman look at me the way she looks at you, Buck. My soul. I would sell it. She’s wild. She yields to no one except you.”

“She doesn’t yield to me, Bruce.”

“Really? Ask her to do something for you, Buck.”

“I asked her to let us help -”

“She was afraid you were infected. Her only concern was finding the cure for you. Not Steve. Not herself. You. She told me she would die a thousand times over if it meant she could spare you a moment of pain, Buck. She loves you as much as you love her. She’s not the girl you met in 1942 any more than you’re the man she met at that time, but that love is still there. You’ve both changed, but your bond remains unbroken.”

“Soulmates,” Bucky says softly. His heart aches for Ciara. He needs to see her and make things right. 

“That’s right. Soulmates. The hell with the Hallmark definition, Buck, you and Ciara are the standalone, end all be all definition of the word. Don’t be a dumbass.”

“Jesus Christ, Bruce, what the fuck has gotten into you?” Bucky asks with a laugh.

“Lack of sleep. Watching you two morons butt heads over who loves the other one more. I’m not joking, Buck, people would sell their souls and other various body parts to have a partner who adores them to the extent she does you and vice versa. Don’t let this slip away.”

Bucky looks down at his phone. They’re still five hours away from base. Ciara had set the world ablaze for him. Forgone her own needs and wants for him. Devoted herself to him. Has he shown her the same devotion? Even a fraction of it? He’s not sure he has. What he is sure of is that he’s going to change that. 

 


	44. Fury's Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury and Hill push Ciara's buttons. Ciara pushes back and once again they call Clint. Because Bucky isn't home yet.

“The way I see it, you have two options, Duchess -”

“If you don’t stop calling me Duchess you’re going to lose that other eye.”

“I would strongly recommend you calm yourself, Duch-”

Ciara shoots a menacing look at the one Fury calls Hill. The twat that perpetrated her capture when she met Bucky at the Pavilion. 

“What would you prefer we call you? Ciara? Winter’s Witch? Mrs. Barnes -”

Ciara is up out of the chair and launching it at Fury’s head in a blur of movement. The fact the man ducked in time means he’s either used to dealing with aggressive asshole super soldiers or he’s really fucking lucky. Hill has her weapon drawn and aimed at Ciara’s head. Ciara laughs at her and then smiles sweetly. 

“I owe you,” she says pointing to Hill. 

“Get Barton in here,” Fury demands. 

“Leave your golden arrow out of this. Why do you have him doing your cleanup detail?” Ciara asks. “Can’t handle the heat so you send in the hazmat crew?”

If Fury can push buttons so can she. 

“You’re out of line,” Fury warns her. She rolls her eyes. 

“If you’re going to shoot me, Hill, do it or put that pea shooter away,” Ciara says calmly. “Unless you want to see what happens if you don’t.”

“Ciara, stop,” Fury states coldly. “You’re pissed off at the wrong people. The facts aren’t going to change. Your choices are to help us cull this shit that Cordova initiated and remain on the team or we remove you to a more secure location.”

“Secure. Right. Like the Hulk-proof enclosure you keep for Bruce when his alter ego gets the better of him? How’s that worked so far?” 

Fury cocks his good eyebrow at her. 

“How much intel do you have on us?” he asks. 

“Too much. Most of which I don’t give two shits about.”

“Just the Winter Soldier/Captain America Intel, right?” Fury continues. Ciara shrugs. 

“I have my reasons for that.”

“You destroyed it,” Hill reminds her. Ciara smiles. 

“That I did.”

There’s a knock at the door. 

“Get in here,” Fury barks. Clint walks in looking irritated.

“Are you being difficult?” he asks Ciara. She’s offended.

“Yeah, because I’m always the antagonizer when it comes to this shit,” she snaps. Clint sits down and folds his arms over his chest. He looks at her in amusement. 

“Glad to see you find humor in this,” Fury states. “See if you can get her to cooperate.”

This makes Ciara laugh. 

“Are you not cooperating either?” Clint asks.

“Fuck you.”

“Had you offered last week…”

“Ah ah ah,” she says wagging her finger at him. She sees Fury and Hill exchange confused glances. 

“Just tell them what you know, Kitty Cat -”

“Kitty Cat,” Fury repeats. 

“Don’t even motherfuckin’ think about it,” Ciara snarls. 

“Ciara,” Clint says trying to hide the smirk, “what do you have on Cordova, Hydra and the beefcake brothers?”

“Exactly what do I get out of this deal?” Ciara asks. She sits down in another chair and looks at her nails. The fingernails on her left hand remain black. She's assuming that’s going to be her constant reminder of Cordova’s heinous attempt to kill her. 

“A roof over your head, confirmed salary, food, training, medical care,” Hill says rattling off the list. 

“Your freedom. The knowledge that you’re making the world a slightly better place,” Fury adds. Ciara isn’t buying it. 

“You get to run around with Barnes and make sure he doesn’t get his damn head blown off. Does that work?” Clint asks. That hits home with her. 

“Clint…”

“Give me five minutes,” he tells Fury and Hill. 

“Are you kidding?” Fury snaps. Hill shakes her head and then looks at Fury for further instructions. “Fine,” Fury agrees. “Five minutes. You better make this work, Agent Barton.”

He and Hill step out of the conference room. 

“I know why you’re in such an assholish mood, Kitty Cat, but did you have to take it out on the chair?”

“He won’t stop calling me Duchess.”

“In their defense, that’s the only name they know you by. Launching a chair at Fury’s head seems a little like overkill, don’t you think?”

“No.”

He’s trying to be strict and firm with her, but she sees the corners of his mouth curl up and he chuckles. 

“Jesus Christ you are such an asshole.”

“I’m a product of my current environment,” she replies casually. 

“Is that a fact?”

“Time’s a tickin'.”

“Think about what they’re offering, Ciara,” Clint says changing gears quickly. “It’s not a cage. You have your freedom - with limitations obviously. You can keep an eye on Buck. I know you two are having some sort of hissy fit with each other -”

“Hissy fit,” she growls. He ignores her.

“You won’t tell me what happened, fine whatever. But when it’s all said and done, after all the chasing you’ve done, after all the shit you’ve both gone through for each other, wouldn’t it make sense to be where he is now?”

Bucky is still on a mission and he doesn’t want anything to do with her. The reminder that he could have done all the shit he wanted with any dame hits her like a Tyson uppercut. Ciara rubs her temples. She’s suddenly exhausted - emotionally and physically. 

“Ciara.”

“Clint.”

“You don’t want to end up in that glass cage down there, do you?”

“Not particularly.”

“Give them what they want. Think of this as a fresh start for you now.”

She waves away his attempt to convince her. 

“Just tell him to get in here.”

She sees him get up and hears the door to the conference room open. No one comes in for a few minutes. She’s guessing Clint is trying to get them to cut her some slack. Fury won’t do that. She’s not his pets Widow or Hill. No. She’s Winter’s Witch. Bucky’s Bitch. Her heart hurts. Hoping for a fairytale ending at this juncture seems stupid. She would have just been a means to an end in that time or this one. 

Clint comes back in with some water. Fury and Hill come in a moment later. Clint hands her the water, Fury and Hill resume their seats, and the interrogation begins. 

It takes what feels like an eternity until Fury is satisfied with what Ciara has divulged to them, which was everything that didn’t have to do with Rogers or Barnes. Anytime either of the meatheads were mentioned she’d stop talking or say she didn’t remember. Fury knows she’s full of shit and Ciara could care less. The knowledge she has ascertained about the boys she’ll take with her to the grave. 

“Until we know we can trust you, you don’t leave the premises unless accompanied by at least one other agent. I’m looking at you, Barton,” Fury says calmly. Clint rolls his eyes. “Otherwise, you’re free to move about the complex as you see fit. You will go where you are needed. Any attempt to do covert, underhanded shit is going to get your ass handed to you,” he warns.

“Can we give her a codename other than the two that everyone seems so fond of?” Clint asks.

“Kitty Cat?” Hill suggests. Ciara moves the hand that had been covering her eyes to glare at Hill. 

“Snowcat,” Fury says with finality. Ciara looks at Clint who raises his eyebrows. 

“You could do worse,” he tells her.

“Bucky’s bitch,” she mutters. 

“Damn,” Fury grunts like he’s the one that was directed at. 

“Yeah, let’s not do that. Snowcat,” Clint says. 

“Are we done?” Ciara asks, not caring one way or the other what the hell they call her now. Fury nods and she and Clint get up and leave. 

“You need to eat or at least drink something,” Clint tells her as they walk down the hall. 

“Always the mother hen,” she teases halfheartedly. 

“Shut up and come on,” he says leading her down the hall. They end up in the kitchen area. 

“Go sit down.”

“Bark. Bark.”

“I swear to god I’m going to kick your ass,” Clint threatens. 

“Kick whose ass?” 

Ciara was about to sit down when she hears Bucky’s voice. She freezes. He comes into view still in his uniform, looking tired and beat down. 

**_Everything I’ve loved about you was based on things that I wanted. Your body, a baby, a family. I could have gotten that from any dame._ **

It’s like the five finger death punch to the heart over and over and over again. 

“Ciara…” Bucky’s voice is soft and low. She pushes the chair in and starts to walk away.

“Excuse me,” she says walking past him. 

“Ciara, wait. We need to talk.”

“You said all that needs saying, Sergeant Barnes.”

 


	45. You Don't Just Give Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky isn't giving up even if Ciara has him shut out.

Ciara sits in her room on the floor unable to stop crying. Fury’s glass enclosure for her is sounding better and better with each passing moment.

**_Everything I’ve loved about you was based on things that I wanted. Your body, a baby, a family. I could have gotten that from any dame._ **

Goddamn does that hurt. That hurts more than anything she’s suffered up to this point, including losing the baby. Just a means to an end, that’s all she was. She covers her face with her hands and cries.

She doesn’t hear the door open. She doesn’t see him come in. She doesn’t feel him slide to the floor next to her. It isn’t until he speaks that she realizes he’s there.

“Ciara, I’m sorry.”

“Go away. Just get out,” she says between sobs. She pulls her knees up to her chest, and wraps her arms around them, hugging them tightly as she lays her head against her knees.

“I said what I did because I was upset and pissed off, Ciara. I lashed out. I didn’t mean it,” he says softly.

“I could have gotten that from any dame,” she says and then cries harder. She hears him move off of the floor, and she expects that he’s going to walk out of the room and out of her life now. That it’s over for good. She’s now crying so hard there’s no sound, only pain, and tears.

But that’s not what he does. Instead, he’s positioned himself in such a way that he can pull her against his body and into his arms. He holds her tightly and Ciara is further surprised by the sound of him crying as hard as she is while he holds her. She can feel the heat radiating off of him, feel his chest heave with each powerful sob that shakes him, feels him tremble as his own breakdown comes. She moves so she’s able to turn herself in order to put her arms around him and bury her face in his chest.

They sit on the floor holding each other and crying so hard neither of them is able to breathe.

It takes forever, but Ciara runs out of tears. Her chest burns and aches, her eyes sting, she feels like she’s overheating, and she can’t move. She doesn’t want to. She keeps her arms around Bucky’s chest, her hands at his back with his shirt balled up in her fists. Her face is pressed against his chest at his collarbone. She can feel his ragged breathing as his crying fit also starts to burn itself out. He hasn’t let her go, she’s still locked into his tight embrace, his head resting on hers. She hears him sniffle. He’s still trembling...or maybe that’s her. She isn’t sure anymore.

His breathing slowly evens out and the two sit in silence in each other’s arms. It’s so quiet she can hear his heartbeat, the rhythmic lub-dub sound of the most powerful muscle in his body. She feels him inhale deeply, his chest filling with air and raising her higher. He exhales, but instead of being a strong solid breath out, it’s shaky. A rogue sob escapes him. She hugs him tighter, squeezing him with what strength she has left right now. He nuzzles the side of her face in response. She releases her grip, not because she wants to, but because she can’t keep up that hold any longer.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice still broken and choked by the onslaught of tears. Fresh tears, tears she shouldn’t be able to create because she knows for a fact she’s dehydrated, fill her eyes.

“It’s over, Bucky -”

“Don’t say that,” he pleads frantically.

“I meant what happened. It’s over. I’m sorry I pushed you to the point that I made you lash out. I’m sorry I upset you,” she says quietly. She can’t find the words anymore and clenches at his shirt as a fresh storm of tears comes. He tightens his embrace holding her like he’s afraid she’ll slip away.

“I don’t want to fight anymore,” he says through his own tears. “I don’t want to fight, Ciara.”

“I love you,” she cries.

“I love you,” he whispers hoarsely. She feels his breathing hitch and she hears a fresh wave of crying come from him.

They slowly come down off the latest crying jag and once more sit quietly. Ciara hurts. Not just hurts, she is in excruciating pain right now. She moves slowly trying to get her muscles to stop knotting and tensing.

“What’s wrong?” he asks gently. His embrace lessens and she feels him rub her back slowly.

“Sore muscles,” she says through clenched teeth.

“You need to drink and we need to get off the floor. My ass hurts from sitting like this.”

She can’t help but laugh. She feels him chuckle. This is probably what he wanted.

“Can you move, baby?” he asks. He lets her go and she sits up painfully. He lifts her chin and she looks into his ice blue eyes that are red from his own tears. He kisses her lips and then rests his forehead against hers.

“Can we start over, doll? Wipe the slate and start fresh?” he asks.

“Does this mean you’ll be sleeping alone and it’ll be at least a month till I can see you naked again?” she asks, making it sound like she’s confused by this suggestion.

He picks up his head and looks at her, his ice blue eyes shining brilliantly.

“I never said that.”

“It was implied,” she tells him. He cocks an eyebrow at her.

“I didn’t imply that. You did.”

“Did I?” she asks innocently. “I don’t believe so.”

She sees him grin.

“You actually expect that to fly? With either of us?” he asks.

“Do you want me to lie and say yes?”

His grin turns into a genuine smile.

“No, because we both know you’d be lying.”

She laughs a little and then tries to move. Her muscles catch and lock and she grinds her teeth as the pain takes hold.

“Easy, beautiful. Come on. This floor isn’t doing anyone any favors right now,” he says. “Sit up for a minute, doll.”

She does as he asks, feeling like her muscles are being napalmed. He gets up and then takes her hands in his and pulls her gently up to a standing position. Her legs feel like concrete slabs. She wobbles a bit and he puts his hands on her hips to keep her steady.

“We’re going to take a shower, and then you’re getting into bed. I’m going to get a case of water and bring it into…” he looks around like he’s trying to decide on something. “You want to stay in here or in my room?”

“This one smells like a musty closet,” she gripes.

“Did they give you clothes, doll?”

She points to the edge of the bed.

“Granny panties included,” she tells him.

“We can fix that later. Right now I want to get us cleaned up and get you comfortable, baby. I know you hurt. I’m going to do what I can to help make it better.”

She feels fresh tears in her eyes when he says this. The look on his face tells her he is dead set on making this happen.

“I love you, Ciara,” he says with absolute certainty.

“I love you, Bucky.”


	46. Bucky and Ciara Head To The Showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut. We all knew this would happen.

Ciara and Bucky walk slowly back to his room. Bucky is ashamed of the messy state of his room, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. They’re both sore, tired, sweaty and he’s ready to just take a shower and hold her the rest of the night. 

“Sorry about the mess,” he says sheepishly. “I didn’t think about it before I left.”

Ciara smiles and looks around. He hears the dry smack of her lips and her brow furrows.

“I’m dying for something to drink, Bucky.”

“I know, baby. Come sit on the bed. I promise the sheets are clean.”

She bursts out laughing. This wasn’t his intention to make her laugh, but what the hell.

“Good to know they won’t shatter like glass,” she jokes. 

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”

She smiles and he feels his temperature rise. She sits down gingerly on the bed and rubs her neck. 

“Give me a few minutes, baby. I’m going to get us some water, and then we can take a shower and just crash if you want. Have you eaten? Are you hungry? I’ll make you something -”

“Bucky, stop. Please,” she says softly. “I’m not hungry. I’m tired, I’m sore...I’ve spent too much time away from you. If it weren’t for the fact that I’m parched I’d beg you not to leave the room.”

“You wouldn’t have to beg, Ciara. All you’d have to do is ask. I plan on staying with you, but you need to rehydrate. I’m going to grab some of those stupid fucking peanut butter snacks Sam likes so much, just so you have something to snack on, too, okay?”

He can see she’s moved by his concern. The flood of emotions in her stormy eyes tells him more than words ever could. He kisses her softly and caresses her face. 

“Don’t be long. I’ve waited forever to hang out with you,” she teases. He grins.

“I’ve waited a lifetime, smartass. Get comfy. I’ll be back before you know it,” he promises. He runs out of the door and down the hall to the kitchen where he collides with Steve and the two of them nearly fall over from the impact. 

“Christ almighty, Buck!” Steve bitches rubbing the part of his chest that collided with the metal part of Bucky’s left shoulder. 

“Sorry, kid. I’m sorry. You okay?” he asks, grabbing Steve’s upper arm and holding him still. 

“Yeah,” Steve grunts still rubbing his chest. “What the hell are you in such a hurry for?”

“Ciara’s in my room -”

“You two kissed and made up finally?” Steve cuts in. His tone is a mix of seriousness and teasing. 

“We did,” Bucky says with a huge grin. “She needs water. I’m going to get a case of it and some of those snacks Sam is so fond of.”

“To intentionally piss Sam off, right?”

Bucky shrugs.

“She says she’s not hungry, the peanut butter has some protein in it and it’ll tide her over till I can convince her to eat something later.”

“What about you? When are you going to eat and take care of yourself, Buck? You can’t just take care of her and let your shit slide,” Steve chides him.

“I won’t, Stevie. Scouts honor. I can’t keep up with her if I’m sidelined,” he adds with a smirk. Steve shakes his head.

“You need to get laid.”

“It’s on the agenda for the very near future,” Bucky assures him. Steve laughs. 

“Go get yourselves situated, Buck. If you need anything you let me know. If something happens, you come find me first.”

“Who the fuck else am I going to go to, Steve? Nat? Clint? Fucking Sam?”

“She’s one of us, Buck, and she’s dangerous. I don’t want anything to happen to her or you, that’s all,” Steve says gently. Bucky can hear the protectiveness coming through loud and clear. Steve won’t risk losing Bucky which now means that he’s going to protect Ciara because of Bucky’s bond with her. 

“I think you’d like her if you talked to her, kid. She’s a fucking pistol.”

“Oh, I’ve heard,” Steve laughs. “Maybe that’s where Bruce has been channeling it from.”

“That man, I swear to god, lost his goddamn mind,” Bucky states flatly. “He told Ciara that they fried my brain so much that I’m lucky I can wipe my own ass. Do you believe this shit?”

Steve tries desperately not to laugh, and then just ends up howling. 

“You’re a goddamn punk,” Bucky tells him and then laughs because Steve has tears in his eyes from laughing now. 

“Bruce said that? To you?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh god...Bucky, I don’t think he realizes what the hell he’s saying…”

“You don’t say,” Bucky says flippantly. This sets Steve to laughing again. 

“That...that is the funniest damn thing I’ve heard in a long time,” Steve pants. 

“Glad you’re amused, punk. I have a pretty dame waiting on me. Stand here and laugh till you piss your pants. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

Bucky walks away with his goods and he can still hear Steve giggling and carrying on as he walks away. 

He gets to his room and opens the door. Ciara is on her stomach, arms tucked under her chest, and her face buried between his pillows. She looks like she’s asleep. Any mirth he had fades away. She’s still recovering from dying and the virus and…

He puts the water down and opens the package. He grabs a couple of bottles of water and puts them on the nightstand. 

“I thought you weren’t going to be long?”

He jumps at the sound of her voice. She puts her hand on his arm and squeezes gently. 

“I ran into Steve. Literally. We collided so hard we both nearly fell over.”

“Unlike the day you and I met where you held your ground and I damn near fell on my ass?” 

“No way I was going to let a beautiful number like you fall on an ass that great,” he says with a wayward grin. She laughs lightly. He opens one of the waters and hands it to her. She chugs it down in a matter of moments. He opens the other one and she downs it the same way. 

“Thirsty?”

“Looking at you has that effect,” she replies candidly. He can feel the heat on his cheeks and he’s smiling like a kid with his high school crush. He opens a third bottle for her and this time she only downs half of it. 

“No one else does it for you, doll?” He asks playfully. He’s sure he knows the answer, but he wants to hear it anyway. She’s a fucking knockout and if she only has eyes for him, all the better. 

“You know damn well there isn’t. Not even your boy Steve. I didn’t know I had a thing for guys with dark hair and piercing blue eyes till I ran into you.”

“Glad I shaved that morning,” he jokes. She smiles and laughs a little. “Want to go take a shower with me?”

“If you drink some water I will.”

“Finish yours, doll,” he says gently. He gets his own bottle and drinks some while he watches her down the rest of her third bottle. She finishes it and is looking for more. He hands her another bottle which she annihilates in seconds. He gets another one and she shakes her head no.

“I feel like a water balloon now.”

This makes him laugh. She rubs her belly and he stops. They both look at each other. She drops her gaze after a moment and plays with the water bottle. 

“Fresh slate, Ciara, right?” It’s a reminder and a question. He wants to start over fresh with her. There’s been so much pain in their lives and he wants so badly to move past that now.

She looks up and smiles warmly, her eyes full of love. He feels lightheaded. Her eyes widen.

“Bucky?”

“Your smile messes with my head,” he admits. She puckers her lips.

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“You could kiss me,” he tells her with a shit eating grin on his face. She studies him.

“I’m afraid you’ll faint.”

His jaw drops, but he recovers quickly. She’s laughing.

“Alright, wiseass.”

“I’m not the one swooning -“

“No?” He asks crawling on top of her and pinning her wrists to the bed. He looks into her eyes and his strength falters. She’s able to slide free and she pulls him down on top of her body. She cradles him in her arms, running her fingers through his hair while he listens to her heartbeat. 

“What’s it take to get you to swoon, doll?” He mumbles for her breasts. 

“Smile like you did the day you caught me. Run your fingers through my hair and hold me in your gaze. Tell me you love me.”

He sits still for a few more seconds then pushes himself up from her. She growls in dismay. 

“Come take a shower with me, beautiful. I’ve got stuff you can wear till we come back to the room.”

The smile that spreads across her lips makes him instantly hard. 

“What happens when we get back to your room?”

“I thought we’d play chess.”

She keeps it together for all of two seconds before she cracks up laughing. He smiles, he’s so goddamn happy to hear her laugh, to see how her eyes shine when she’s happy, to hear the sound of her voice. 

“Alright, handsome. But...I’m not playing chess.”

“Whatever you want to do, doll,” he says with a smile. She caresses his face and he’s floored by the lovestruck look in her eyes. He presses his lips to hers, relishing their softness. He lets her go, kissed her nose and pushes himself up and gets off the bed. She tilts her head and drops her eyes to his crotch. He looks down and grins. 

“Do you plan on walking around here with that barely concealed weapon?” she asks. He runs his hand over his crotch, his cock throbs against the constraints of his jeans. 

“Walking around naked is more frowned upon in here, I assure you.”

“Oh? Is that coming from experience?” she asks with a playful grin. 

“Maybe,” he replies with a smirk. Her eyes widen. He grabs extra clothes for them both, grabs the stuff he uses in the shower and then looks to Ciara.

“I don’t have anything for you, baby, but you can use this stuff and tomorrow we can go to the store and get you your own,” he says apologetically. He feels completely unprepared for her and it’s killing him. 

“It’s fine, baby. It won’t kill me to smell like the person I love more than life.”

Bucky’s feels the tears well up in his eyes. He pulls her into his arms and holds her tightly, burying his face into her dark hair. 

“It’s okay, baby,” she whispers as she puts her arms around him and rubs his back slowly. 

“You don’t know how much I love you, Ciara. You don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say you love me,” he murmurs as the tears fall. She hugs him tighter, and then moves so she can cup his face in her hands forcing him to look into her eyes.

“I have spent years searching for you, waiting for you, praying for you and now you’re here. Even when I thought you’d forgotten me I  **_never_ ** stopped loving you, James. I never will. I can’t. There’s a piece of me that’s missing when you’re gone. I’m not a whole person without you. I will love you for eternity, James Buchanan Barnes,” she tells him. She wipes away his tears and kisses him softly. He smiles and holds her head against his. 

“I love you, doll.”

“I love you,  you sexy lumberjack looking mofo.”

He laughs a little and then kisses her head. 

“Lumberjack,” he repeats. “I can cut my hair -”

“Forget it, Samson. Come on, you promised me you’d take a shower with me. Again.”

He kisses her again and grabs their clothes and bath supplies. He leads her to his favorite of the full bathrooms, which is further from his room, but it’s bigger and he’s staked this one as his own (even if he knows others use it). 

“Communal showers,” she muses as he shuts the door behind them. He remembers what he told her on the plane.

“I’m still holding that offer for us to get our own place, Ciara. Just the two of us.”

“Would it have room to expand?” she asks without looking at him. Bucky stops breathing.

“Expand as in have room for...an addition? To our family?” he asks cautiously. She looks at him, he can see the hesitancy in her eyes now like she’s afraid she’s said something wrong. She looks down and he can see her tensing up, her defensive walls coming up to shield herself. He puts the clothes and bath supplies on the counter and takes her hands in his. 

“Look at me, doll.”

He sees tears fall on the tile floor. He lifts her chin and her eyes swim with tears. 

“I’m sorry,” she says so softly he barely hears her. 

“We’ll get a place big enough to put a nursery, Ciara.”

She shakes her head no and looks away again. The tears fall like raindrops. 

“Don’t patronize me, Bucky. Don’t just say this shit because you think it’s what I want to hear…”

He takes her chin between his fingers and makes her look into his eyes, holding her there. 

“I’m not patronizing you. We will have another baby. A happy healthy baby boy or girl who will have their mother’s eyes and their father’s dashing good looks.”

This has the desired effect of making her laugh. He lets her go and wipes her tears. 

“I didn’t think you’d want to try again after what happened, doll. I wasn’t going to push the issue,” he tells her. “I told you, everything I wanted, everything I’ve ever dreamt and hoped for has been with you. Including a son.”

“You’re going to be sorely pissed off if our next one turns out to be a girl.”

He lights up like the fourth of July. 

“Oh no. I will spoil that little princess from here to doomsday,” he promises with a grin. 

“You’re a shit,” she says and laughs lightly. He nods.

“Probably. Doesn’t mean I’m not a lovable shit.”

She laughs more. 

“You are that,” she agrees. He pulls his shirt over his head and gives her his best smile. The flush on her face is immediate. He tilts his head and puts his hands on his belt. He’s dying to watch her strip. She pulls her shirt over her head, exposing her breasts to him. She grabs him by the belt and kisses him as she undoes the belt, the button on his pants and then pulls the zipper down. He runs his hands over her arms and cradles her breasts in his hands kneading them gently. Her lips find the soft spot on his jaw and he moans. He puts his hands on her hips and pulls her pants lower. 

“Jesus Christ, Ciara,” he moans. She’s not wearing panties. There are no panties. She’s got nothing on under those pants. She smiles seductively and pulls the pants off. He goes to yank his pants off but she puts her hands on his and stops him. 

“Ciara…” he whines. She slowly lowers his jeans working her way down till she’s eye level with his cock. His cock stirs in his boxers as she looks up at him from the floor. She runs her hands over his leg muscles and he swears he can hear her purr. She runs her hands up over his thighs slowly, grabs the legs of his boxers and pulls them down slowly. She mews when his cock is exposed. She looks up at him with her stormy eyes full of lust. He’s about to reach down to pull her to her feet when she grips his thighs and runs her tongue up his shaft slowly. 

“Oh...god…” he moans as his knees give a little. Ciara smiles sinfully from her spot on the floor. She lets go of this thighs and tugs at his sack before licking him again. He moans again, his head rolling back, eyes closing. He looks down at her again, she’s smiling still. Her eyes drop to his cock and he sees his anticipation coating the head of his cock. Her eyes flash and before he can blink she’s running her tongue over the head of his cock, licking the precum off. He wants to pull her off the floor, pin her against the wall and drive himself deep into her, but he’s mesmerized by her tongue and how goddamn good that feels. He’s never had a blowjob. This shit was unheard of back then. He wonders if she’s going to go down or if she’s just teasing him…

His question is answered when she puts her lips to his head, starting off with a light kiss before parting her lips with his cock and swallowing him all but whole. 

“Ohmygod,” he groans his head snapping back and his eyes clamping shut. He has to force his legs to hold his weight as she works her way up and down his cock with purpose, the sound of her sucking and licking, the feel of her mouth pure ecstasy. 

He opens his eyes and looks down to her stormy ones. They flash and she works faster on him. 

“Ciara...goddammit...I’m going to cum, jesusfuckingchristdon’tstopplease,” he begs, his words coming out at once as she increases her tempo. 

“Fuuuuuck,” he growls, his eyes closing while grabbing her shoulders as he cums hot and heavy into her mouth. He slowly opens his eyes again and looks down. She still has her mouth on him, but he can see her smiling playfully. 

“Don’t. Whatever that shit eating grin on your face is about -”

She licks his tender head and he damn near convulses. He moans loudly and he hears her giggle. 

“You’re evil, doll,” he fusses. 

“Hmmm,” she grunts, sitting back on her legs. “Guess that means no more foreplay for you.”

“Did I say evil? I meant brilliant. Beautiful. Fantastic. Sexy. Intelligent. Hot. Did I mention beautiful?” he says quickly. She laughs. 

“All that, huh?” she asks. He reaches for her hands and pulls her to her feet.

“You know you are, baby. You’re everything. But, now it’s my turn,” he whispers in her ear. He slides his hands over her hips, along her outer thighs and in toward her sweetness. He can feel the heat radiating off of her, like a furnace. He doesn’t have to touch her folds, he can feel her wetness seeping down the tops of her thighs. 

“Goddammit, Ciara,” he moans hungrily. “You’re that wet already?”

“You have a way of doing that to me,” she tells him and guides his hands further up. Her thighs were just the tip of the iceberg. Dipping his fingers inside her reveals an ocean of heat and need in her. She moans and her legs buckle. He catches her, scoops her up and puts her on the counter, legs spread wide. He kisses her greedily, parting her legs further, running his fingers between her soft folds. She moans into his mouth and ends up breaking their kiss as she leans further back and rocks herself against his hand. 

“James…” she moans softly. Again, to him, it almost sounds as if she’s purring. He flicks her thighs and her legs snap wide open, her hands gripping the edge of the counter so hard her knuckles are turning white. He smiles. He hasn’t forgotten her needs. He wants to return the oral favor, but as he starts to sink down she grabs his arms forcefully. 

“No, baby. Not tonight,” she says adamantly. He’s confused. 

“Why? I’ve done it before, tell me what you want, doll, I’ll make sure you -”

“I  **_need_ ** a shower,” she says putting the emphasis on the word need. He furrows his brow. He still doesn’t understand. 

“Ciara, I want to -”

“Bucky, no. I need to clean up. That whole ecosystem down there...just no. Not right now.”

He growls and stands upright again. She’s still flushed, he can clearly see she’s still wet with her own needs. 

“Ciara,” he whispers running his fingers along her inner thighs slowly. Her eyes close. He smiles and flicks her thighs again. He legs snap open again and her eyes fly open. Now she’s hot and bothered. He grabs her thighs and pulls her closer to the edge of the counter. He takes his left hand and licks his index and middle fingers before rubbing her clit slowly. She moans his name softly, her eyes rolling up. He parts her folds with the head of his cock and sinks into her gradually. She leans forward, throwing her arms around him and grinding into him. He runs his hands to her hips to hold onto her as he pumps deep inside her walls. He kisses her neck, continuing to work into her, pumping, pushing and rocking her, listening to her moans and pleas for him to go faster and deeper. He gives her what she wants, feels her nails sink into his skin and feels her walls start to flutter and then pull him deeper as she hits her climax. She locks onto him as her legs shake involuntarily and she whimpers in his ear. He’s so close to cumming again that he keeps going, her moans spurring him on until he feels his balls draw up and he cums as she cries out, a milder orgasm washing over her as he delivers himself inside her. 

They cling to each other for a few minutes, Ciara resting her head on his shoulder, her breathing slowly evening out while he holds her. 

“You okay, beautiful?” he asks after a few more moments. She lifts her head and smiles. 

“Better than okay, baby,” she tells him with a loving smile. She caresses his face and kisses him. 

“Shower time?”

“We should probably mop up the counter first.”

He laughs. 

 


	47. All I Want And Need...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness comes in small boxes, wistful gazes, soft touches, and words that try to express the depth of love Ciara and Bucky feel for each other.

Ciara walks back to the room with Bucky. He’s got his arm around her waist, holding her close while he carries their dirty clothes and shower supplies in his other arm. 

“How are you feeling, doll?” That’s the third time he’s asked her that in as many minutes. She smiles at him.

“I’m alright, baby. I’m just a little tired,” she tells him again. He kisses her temple and lets her go long enough to open the door to his room. As soon as they step inside he chucks their clothes into a pile on the floor and drops the shower stuff on the bed. He pulls her into his arms, locking his hands at the small of her back and rocking her gently. 

“No headaches? Dry mouth? Sore muscles or sore…” his eyes drop down a little. She laughs a little.

“No headaches, mouth is a little dry, sore muscles aren’t as bad as they were, and if you’re referring to my juice box, that’s very well satiated.”

He laughs now. 

“Juice box?”

“Cock sock?”

He’s biting his lip.

“Rosebud?” he offers. She bites the inside of her cheek.

“Sugar hole,” she counteroffers. 

“I like it,” he says with a big smile. He kisses her and then caresses her face. He’s got this deep look of loving adoration in his eyes which warms her soul. 

“I have something for you, doll. Sit on the bed and get comfortable,” he says. He kisses her again and lets her go. She does as he’s requested and gets situated on the bed. He takes the shower supplies and puts them away, then opens one of his dresser drawers and digs through it. She hears him close it and he comes over to the bed with his hands closed into fists. 

“This one first,” he says presenting his left hand to her and moving his right hand behind his back. She skews an eyebrow at him, he grins, and she taps his hand. He opens it to reveal his dog tag. Her heart stops. 

“It’s alright, doll. Take it,” he urges. She takes it from him, the light making it shimmer in her hand. She runs her thumb over the raised letters of his name and the memory of their first day together and his proposal and offer to exchange the tag for a ring…

“I lost this. Somewhere along the way, I lost this,” she says sadly. “I couldn’t even hold on to this…” she shakes her head in dismay. She feels his hand on her cheek, the metal cold against her skin. 

“I had it, doll. Don’t be upset, baby. It wasn’t lost,” he says sitting on the bed and giving her a warm smile. She looks up at him then back to the dog tag. He was drafted. He was due to ship out. They had made love and he had proposed and…

“Ciara,” he says gently. She looks up again. He’s still smiling, his head tilted just a bit. 

“I was supposed to give this back to you,” she says softly. She feels ashamed for having lost it, like she’s failed him on some level because he has it and she doesn’t. 

“Want to give it back?” he asks, a hint of playfulness in his voice. She furrows her brow and gives him a puzzled look. He just smiles. She looks back at the dog tag and hands it back reluctantly. 

“What did I tell you we’d exchange it for?” he asks as he flips the dog tag between his fingers, rolling it along over his knuckles with seamless fluidity. 

“A ring, but -”

He opens his other hand and presents a little box to her. Ciara forgets how to breathe. 

“Bucky…”

“Open it, doll,” he says putting the box in her hand. It’s felt cover gives her chills. She opens it slowly. She tries to form words, but can’t. 

“I don’t know if it will fit, Ciara, but we can figure something out. I saw this and I had to have it. The minute I saw this I thought of you,” he tells her. The ring is a muted rose gold, the crown is shaped like a blooming rose with the diamond sitting in its center, with smaller diamonds on the outer petals. The band crisscrosses around itself, the accentuating diamonds smaller still.

She still can’t speak.

“You don’t like it…”

The hurt in his voice makes her look up at him immediately. She throws herself at him, forcing him to catch her in his arms. She puts her arms around him and hugs him so tightly she hears him grunt. 

“I love it,” she whispers in his ear. He locks his arms around her and buries his face in her neck. She’s holding the box, looking at the ring like it may vanish any second. He lets her go and peels her off of him. He’s smiling again. 

“You really like it, doll?”

“Oh my god, Bucky...I don’t know how to tell you how perfect it is…”

“You just did, baby,” he says caressing her face. He takes the box from her and pulls the ring free. He gets up and drops to one knee in front of her. Ciara’s heart is about to burst through her chest. 

“Will you marry me, Ciara?”

“Yes.”

His smile is so bright, and his eyes shine magnificently as he puts the ring on her finger. She’s shaking so badly he’s got to hold her hand steady to put it on. He stands up and pulls her into her arms where she bursts into tears and holds onto him for dear life. 

“Don’t cry, baby...shhh,” he says rubbing her back. She can hear the joy in his voice, though, and the relief. She lets him go and looks at the ring. Her hands are still shaking. He takes her hands and kisses them both. 

“It’s a little big,” he says looking at the ring. She sees he’s able to spin it around with no effort. “We’ll get it sized to fit you. You really like it, Ciara?”

“I love it, Bucky. Almost as much as I love you.”

He holds her face in his hands and kisses her passionately. 

“I love you, future Mrs. Barnes,” he says with a huge smile. “Tomorrow we’re going to get this sized, go shopping, look for our new place…” he trails off and runs his fingers through her hair. She’s spellbound by the love she sees in his blue eyes. 

“Anything you want, doll, anything at all, ask and I’ll make it yours,” he vows. She runs her fingers over his bearded jaw and she smiles, truly smiles from genuine happiness for the first time since that day in 1942. 

“I have all I could ever want right here, James Barnes.”

  
  
  
  



	48. Disturbing The Lovebirds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve reluctantly goes to disturb the nesting lovebirds so that Fury can get his answers about her physical condition. Bucky isn't pleased by the disturbance but still gets Steve to laugh as they go for a run.

Steve wakes up to his normal morning alarm. His chest is sore from where Bucky plowed into him trying to get Ciara water yesterday. He turns on the light and looks at his chest. There’s no bruising, so there’s that, at least. Bucky’s like a freight train and damn near as immovable.

Natasha is asleep beside him, her naked form covered by the sheet. He runs his hand over her hip and squeezes gently. She stirs and mutters incoherently.

“I’m going to go running with Buck,” he says, knowing full well she knows where the hell he’s going.

“Take Ciara with you. See how well she keeps up,” she mumbles. Steve inhales deeply. That’s a carryover order from Fury. He gets up, pulls on some sweats and walks out of the room.

He goes to the kitchen, but Bucky isn’t there.

“Oh god,” he groans. The last thing Steve wants to do is disturb the two lovebirds. He decides to wait a few more minutes.

After about ten minutes of waiting and still no Bucky, Steve gets up and heads to Buck’s room. He’s stopped by Clint.

“Have you seen Ciara?”

“She’s with Buck if I had to guess. Why?”

“Fury wants to know where she’s at performance wise.”

“You too? He left Nat with standing orders to have her go run with Bucky and I,” Steve states. Clint rolls his eyes.

“She won’t be happy if we disturb her while she’s with her Prince Charming,” Clint mutters.

“I’m telling him you said that and do you really think he’s going to be any happier?” Steve asks.

“Touche.”

They head to Buck’s room. Clint looks at Steve and Steve sighs in disgust. He knocks on the door. No answer. He knocks harder. Clint tilts his head like he’s listening. Steve can hear movement and hushed voices.

“Buck,” Steve calls.

“Goddammit!” comes the reply. Clint is snickering and he can hear the distinct sound of Bucky bitching in the room. Steve has to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He knocks again.

“I swear to god!” Bucky bellows. Now they can hear Ciara laughing. The door flies open and Bucky is eight different ways of pissed off. Clint snorts and Steve has to stop Bucky from clocking him. He sees Ciara pulling a shirt on, there’s a flash of bare skin and areola. Steve’s eyes widen, Bucky pokes him in the chest.

“Seriously?” Bucky asks. Clint guffaws.

“Shut up, Archer.”

Bucky looks over his shoulder, and Steve sees Ciara moving off the bed. Bare legs exposed, she’s all muscle.

“Nope. You two need cold showers,” Bucky says flatly and steps outside the room. “Get dressed, doll. Apparently, we’re both being collected,” he calls just before it closes.

“Fury wants to run her through to see where she is,” Steve explains. “She either runs with us or she goes with Clint -”

“Who was going to go running anyway,” Clint says with a shrug. Bucky scratches at his chest and looks at Steve. He’s got the daffiest look on his face now. He knocks lightly on the door and it opens. Ciara steps out in a soft gray jogging suit, her hair pulled back and up into a loose bun. Steve looks at Bucky who’s got his hands on her face and is kissing her.

“I feel violated,” Clint gripes.

“No one told you to watch,” Ciara counters. “Why are you here?”

“Fury wants you to go running,” Steve answers. She looks at Bucky. That’s when Steve sees the ring. No wonder Bucky looks like he’s on cloud nine.

“Fucking A. Fine,” she grouses. “With who?”

“Me, Steve, loverboy, whomever,” Clint says with a shrug. She looks at Bucky with the same look he has for her. Steve grins. Bucky’s waited for this dame for almost a century, and even before this Steve can’t remember the last time he saw Buck so stupidly happy.

“Think you can keep up?” Bucky asks Clint. Ciara shakes her head.

“Let’s just go,” Steve says. They head outside to the fresh air.

Ciara looks at Bucky and smiles.

“So...Fury wants to see how well I keep up with his boys, huh?” she asks.

“Ciara,” Bucky warns.

“Here we go,” Steve mutters. Clint is laughing, clearly knowing what’s going to happen next.

“They want to know, right?” she asks playfully. Bucky puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, but Steve sees that screwball half grin on his face.

“There’s a path up ahead. It winds around the complex. It’s about three miles all told -”

“I’ll be running with you, doll. If you get tired or winded and need to stop, say something,” Bucky interjects.

“I think your beloved director wants to use you two as gages for what I can do, not just Steve,” she says calmly. Bucky makes a face. Steve shrugs.

“Listen, if you get tired take your time, walk it off. If I finish I’ll come find you, baby, okay?” Bucky says taking her hands and then kissing them. Steve’s not sure if he should be nauseated by this candy-coated display of affection or not.

“I’ll be alright,” she tells him. Steve smacks Bucky on the shoulder and nods toward the path. Bucky’s hesitating.

“She’s going to be alright, Buck,” Steve assures him. He sees Ciara wink at him, Bucky grins and lights up.

“Go on, Kitty Cat,” Clint says looking at his watch. Steve sees her grin at Bucky and then she’s off like a shot.

“Holy shit,” Steve mumbles. Even Bucky is blinking in surprise. They look at each other and run to catch up.

“Holy shit, Buck,” Steve says as they run after her, “is that the serum or has she always been this fast?”

“Don’t know, kid, but goddamn, look at her ass in those pants.”

Steve starts laughing so hard he trips and nearly falls. Bucky slows down and grabs Steve by the arm to drag him along.

Steve pulls himself together and sees Ciara has more of a lead on them than before.

“Come on, Buck, we can’t let her show us up.”

“I’m not the one laughing like a fucking loon, Steve,” Buck says and then starts running faster. Steve knows between the two of them Bucky is the faster one, but he’s wondering if Ciara is faster than them both.

“Come on, kid!” Bucky yells.

“Just run, Buck!” Steve yells back. He pushes himself to go faster and catches up with Buck after a few minutes. They’ve closed the gap with Ciara, but only because she’s stopped.

“Something’s wrong,” Bucky says and races towards her. She hears them coming and motions for them to be still. Steve and Bucky slow down to a fast walk, moving in silence as they come up to her.

“Ciara, what’s wrong?” Steve asks. Bucky is looking in the direction she is. He looks in that direction.

“What did you see, doll?” Bucky whispers.

“Movement. Three klicks towards that clearing.”

Bucky looks at Steve, and Steve nods towards one direction while he circles to the other.

“Stay here -”

“The hell I will,” she says in a low voice.

“Let her go, Buck. Five minutes, meet back here,” he orders.

“I can handle myself, baby,” she tells Bucky. Steve’s guessing that Bucky was about to tell her to be careful or something along those lines. He sees Ciara go left, Bucky goes center and Steve goes right. After a few moments he can’t hear them moving anymore. There’s no movement or sound. No birds, nothing. It’s too quiet. He looks around and listens more intently. He sees movement and a moment later Bucky is yelling for him.

“Catch that fucker!”

Steve launches into a full run after them. Bucky is alongside him in a second and then he sees Ciara push past them. The three of them race between the trees, but whoever it is they’re pursuing is faster than even Ciara and Bucky. Ciara is pulling further ahead.

“Oh shit,” Steve pants, running harder. Bucky’s already pushing himself to go faster, moving beyond Steve, but he can’t catch Ciara, and she’s still putting distance between them.

“Goddamn is she fast,” Bucky grumbles.

They catch up to her at the edge of the lake. Whatever they were pursuing has vanished.

“They’re gone,” Ciara says angrily. “Whoever that was, I couldn’t catch them.”

“Where did you see them first?” Bucky asks. Ciara looks behind her then back to the lake.

“Moving in the treeline. I couldn’t make out who it was and I thought they were looking for you, but they kept up with me,” she explains. “Whoever it was...they’re gone now.”

Steve and Bucky look over the lake. It’s calm and peaceful.

“We need to get back,” Steve says. Bucky takes Ciara’s hand in his own and the three jog back to the compound.

Clint is sitting on the ground watching the stopwatch looking bored.

“Wow. That was...what the hell where you doing?” he asks.

“Someone’s on the grounds, Clint. Get the alert out,” Steve orders. Clint is up and tapping on his earpiece.

“Nat, get the guard up. Someone’s on the grounds who doesn’t belong.”

 


	49. She Was Bait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara has been used as bait and Cordova's treachery reaches new levels.

Ciara follows Steve and Clint inside. Bucky is right beside her, holding her hand, his fingers laced with hers. He’s on high alert, she’s on high alert, Steve is in command mode. Natasha runs up to them just as they walk into the kitchen. 

“We have surveillance footage of whoever this was,” she says hastily. She leads them to one of the conference rooms. Fury and Hill are waiting. 

“Any of you recognize this one?” Fury asks as the surveillance footage plays. Ciara’s skin erupts in goosebumps. She’s seen that image before, but she can’t place when or where. She hears the others talking, asking questions, strategizing. She walks around the conference table to where Hill and Fury are and rewinds the footage, making it stop on the figure. She  **_knows_ ** them, but she can’t place how. 

“Who the hell is this, people? I need answers!” Fury demands. 

“I can tell you who he belongs to,” Ciara says looking at Fury calmly. “He belongs to Cordova.”

She sees the color drain from Bucky’s face. 

“He’s hunting you? Here?” Hill asks. Ciara rewinds the footage again. She can’t shake the footage she’s seen this huge monster of a man before. 

“He outran you, Barnes and Cat. Which means he’s hopped up on super soldier serum, too, based on the sheer size of this motherfucker,” Fury continues. “And he’s Cordova’s. Not a surprise.”

“Where is he, Fury?” Ciara asks. 

“He’s been moved to an undisclosed location,” Hill answers. 

“Undisclosed?” Bucky snaps. “He’s HUNTING HER ON OUR GROUNDS!”

“I realize that, Sergeant Barnes! And I assure you this transgression will not be met lying down,” Fury promises. 

“How many others were there, Cat?” Hill asks. 

“Other what?” she asks looking at the video again. 

“Other weapons, Like you,” Fury states. 

“There were no other survivors, Fury,” Ciara growls. “They killed them with the fucking serum.”

She sees Bucky come around the table. He puts his arm around her and pulls her closer. 

“There had to be at least one,” Hill argues. Ciara slams her hands down on the conference table hard enough that it splinters from the impact. 

“What did I just fucking say!” Ciara barks. 

“Easy, baby, easy,” Bucky whispers, sliding his hand to her hip and squeezing a little. 

“Someone had to have survived,” Hill persists. 

“She’s right, Ciara. Logically that’s the only explanation,” Steve says backing Hill up. Ciara puts her hands behind her head and takes a deep breath before she flips shit on all of them. 

“He killed Hattie and Michael. He sent Gabe to prison where he fucking died! My best friends! The only fucking family I had…” she breathes deeply. “The only family I had until now. There is no one else that I know of. All the records indicate they all died. All of them. Even Van Doran acknowledged that.”

“Who?” Clint asks. Ciara ignores him. 

“Van Doran is a pathological liar and a double agent, Ciara,” Bucky reminds her. “I remember hearing his name while I was under Hydra control.”

“There were tanks full of dead bodies in the lab, Buck. Tanks. He kept them like prizes. He and Cordova were proud of their failed subjects almost as much as they were of their one living subject.”

“He hasn’t given us everything in his files then,” Hill states, frantically pulling up the intel they’ve collected. 

“Did you honestly think he would?” Ciara asks, amazed at the sheer stupidity of the woman. 

“I tore that office apart, anything that was in that office we have, but we don’t have his intel from Detrick or Dulce…” Natasha begins. 

“You don’t have the intel from Marrakesh, from Thule, Diego Garcia and I can’t tell you how many other places. Those are only the ones I can remember. The ones I was able to overhear or knew where we were going because I was given orders to meet them there. I was submerged otherwise. There are countless other places he’s been to even  **_before_ ** I got involved,” Ciara tells them. “Take your pic, Fury. There’s any number of places you can start and any number of places that won’t give you a fucking thing.”

Fury folds his arms and rests his chin on his chest as he considers this. 

“We have to assume he’s got at least one other high octane super soldier at his disposal,” Fury states carefully. 

“Then why not send that after her in the first place?” Clint demands. “What the fuck? If he had this weapon, why call us to collect -”

“Because he’s not just after me, Archer,” Ciara says stopping him. “He’s after the prototype and the runaway, too.”

The silence is deafening in the room. She looks at Steve and then forces herself to look at Bucky. She has sealed all their fates. 

“Hill, I need to know where that shady fucker has been. All bases, all stations from here to Timbuk-fuckin-tu,” Fury orders.

“On it.”

“Natasha, the last known location of this slick bastard was at Cheyenne Mountain. I know he’s not there now -”

“Oh, but I bet I can find someone to tell us where he went,” Natasha says with a sinister smile.

“Barton, help Natasha. Priority one,” Fury continues. “As for you three,” Fury says eyeing Ciara, Steve and Bucky all in turn, “don’t leave the compound alone. Do I make myself clear?”

“Goody, we get to babysit each other,” Bucky mumbles then gives Ciara a playful smile. 

“I’m not fucking around, Barnes.”

Bucky opens his mouth to say something, Ciara elbows him in the gut lightly and Steve coughs loudly. Fury isn’t amused. Bucky pulls her out of the conference room followed by Steve. They wait till they’re in the kitchen before Bucky says anything. 

“Tell me about your friends, baby,” he says pulling out a chair for her to sit down. “You talk, I’ll make us breakfast -”

“You talk, and I’ll cook,” Steve interjects. “You burn the bacon.”

“I don’t like it raw, punk,” Bucky fires back.

“And I don’t like it to turn to ash when I pick it up,” Steve retaliates. 

“How do you like your bacon, baby?” Bucky asks. 

“Cooked preferably,” she answers. 

“She likes it so that it’s just crispy,” Clint says walking into the kitchen. He hands Ciara a stack of files. 

“Clint…” she already knows what the files contain, she doesn’t want to have to look at them. 

“We need to know the rest of the story, Kitty Cat.”

 


	50. The Files Of The Brother Emerge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint gives Ciara the files they've pulled together from the clusterfuck in Cordova's office, but things don't add up the way they should.

“Can I at least make her breakfast before you start busting her balls?” Bucky demands. His jealousy is working itself into a fever pitch with Clint. He doesn’t like how familiar he is with her, and he cannot stand the pet name he’s given her.  _ Kitty Cat _ . Sweet Christ.

Clint shrugs and sits down at the table with Ciara. 

“Go sit with them, I’ll start on breakfast. You’re about to rip the countertop off and throw it at his head. Calm down,” Steve whispers harshly to him. Bucky takes a deep breath and goes to the table. 

“I don’t want to deal with this right now, Archer.”

“The sooner you tell me what you know about these files, the sooner we can get this shit wrapped up,” Clint says pressing her further. Bucky can see Ciara’s stormy eyes flash like lightning. 

“After breakfast,” Bucky says stepping in. He stands behind Ciara and rubs her shoulders. She’s like stone, her muscles are knotted and tense. 

“MMmm….” she moans as he continues. 

“Relax, baby, it’s alright,” he whispers in her ear. He kisses her temple and keeps rubbing, watching her head drop, and feeling the muscles in her shoulders start to loosen up. Later on he’s going to strip her and rub her whole body down - arms, legs, back, neck, breasts…

He’s struck with an idea.

“If you’re good and you tell us what you know I’ll give you the best full body massage of your life, doll. All over. Head to toe, front and back,” he promises. She lifts her head and leans back so she can look at him. She gives him a loving smile.

“All you have to do is ask, Bucky,” she says softly. He kisses her nose.

“After breakfast?”

“After breakfast,” she agrees. Clint rolls his eyes. Steve comes in carrying plates for them. Bucky sits next to Ciara and they eat in relative silence. Steve glances at the files, raises an eyebrow to Bucky who gives him a quick shake of his head. 

The finish up and Ciara looks at the files stacked at the edge of the table. 

“It’s not going to be pretty, Kitty Cat, there’s no sugarcoating that,” Clint says apologetically. 

“I’m aware,” she says in a low voice. She pulls the files over and opens the first one. Bucky moves so he’s right next to her, putting his arm behind her on the chair and looking at the file with her. It’s another dossier, this one of a female with purple hair and so many piercings in her face that she looks like a fucking pin cushion. Steve sits at the end of the table closest to Ciara and Clint sits across from she and Bucky. 

“Who is this, baby?” Buck asks gently. She doesn’t answer right away, continuing to go through the pages of documents until she comes upon more photos. Ciara’s hand goes to her mouth as she gasps. The picture she’s stumbled upon is a morgue shot, the girl with the purple hair is lifeless, her piercings have been removed, eyes closed and a large gaping hole right in the middle of her head. Clint is shaking his head. Bucky puts his hand on Ciara’s back and rubs slowly. The picture hurts, he can see that much. 

“Her name was Harriett Tremeuax. We called her Hattie. She was like the ringleader of our little group,” Ciara says going back to the first pic and running her fingers over it. “It was her idea to go look at the fucking warehouse that night. We were just supposed to get high and drink and she and Michael would have ended up screwing in front of Gabe and I like they always did…”

“Who shot her, Kitty?” Clint asks gently.

“I don’t know. We were so close to the warehouse, we could see the motion sensor cameras and then we were found…”

She trails off and sighs shakily. 

“Easy, doll, it’s alright,” Bucky whispers. He rests his head against hers for a moment, then kisses her temple. Ciara closes that file and opens the next. She shakes her head in dismay. This picture is of a young man with hair matted in his eyes like he’d greased it down intentionally to look that way. There’s a tattoo on his neck, but Bucky can’t make out what it is. He wonders if Ciara has tattoos or if the serum would have dissolved them. He remembers the three little scars and wonders about those, too. 

“Michael Markson,” she says as she turns the pages in the file. She comes across the same type of picture as with her friend Hattie - a morgue photo showing the young man with a gaping bullet wound to the head. Clint’s eyes burn with rage. 

“Cordova killed them both?” Clint asks.

“Not directly,” Ciara answers. To Bucky, she sounds like she’s on another planet like she’s talking to them from a different realm of existence, one where she can’t feel anything. 

“What happened, Ciara?” Steve asks. 

“His guards found us. Hattie and Michael tried to make a run for it. Gabe and I were too scared...we were captured….”

“He took two of you hostage?” Bucky asks in horror. She nods. She reaches for the last file and Clint puts his hand on hers to stop her.

“Deep breath, Kitty,” he says gently. Ciara opens the file and she breaks. Bucky sees the tears fall from her eyes onto the picture in front of her. She covers her eyes and cries. Bucky looks at Steve and then they both look at Clint. 

“Gabriel Townsend,” Clint says in a quiet, remorseful voice. “You two were adopted by the same family, you were siblings through adoption and best friends through circumstance.”

Ciara wipes her eyes and nods her head. 

“How did you find out?” She asks. There’s a tremor in her voice that strikes at Bucky’s heart. He’s so tired of fighting and suffering and now to have to watch the woman who has his heart go through the same…

“I didn’t. Natasha did. I’m not going to prod you on this one, Kitty. I want you to go through it carefully. There is a lot of contradictory shit in this file and in yours.”

“What does that mean?” Steve asks. Ciara is studying Clint. 

“He means that Cordova is covering his tracks in some manner. He means that somewhere in my file I’m listed as either MIA or KIA, right?”

“KIA,” Clint confirms. “Three years ago.”

“Which was when Gabe died.”

“There is other stuff in there as well,” Clint says. He taps the table, Bucky looks up but Ciara doesn’t. Clint eyes the kitchen. 

“Take this back to our room, doll. If you can, wait for me and I’ll go through this shit with you -“

“So will I,” Steve volunteers. 

“Where the hell are you going?” She asks Bucky. 

“I’m going to make us some coffee,” he tells her and then gives her his best smile. It works, she smiles and kisses him. 

“Don’t spend too long with Clint. I don’t want Steve to have to separate you two,” she says getting up with the files and walking off. 

“Unreal,” Clint mutters. 

“She’s observant if nothing else,” Steve states. 

“What?” Bucky asks, cutting to the chase.

“Keep an eye on her, Buck. She’s still harboring that rage and need for vengeance against Cordova. Her desire to protect you and Cap is off the fucking charts. She wants Cordova’s throat -“

“I’m aware, Clint. I’m not going to let her out of my sight.”

“Keep in mind we have at least one more super soldier to contend with based on the footage,” Clint continues. “He outran Ciara. I don’t want to think about how strong that big fucker is.”

Bucky doesn’t say another word. He gets up from the table and heads back to the bedroom to find Ciara. Clint’s words are a sticking point for him. Whoever that was outside was faster than Ciara who is faster than he and Steve. Based on the footage this person is also bigger than he and Steve. 

He opens the door to their room. Ciara is sitting on the bed Indian Style with the files open in front of her. He climbs on the bed, maneuvering his way so he can sit behind her and hold her as she goes through the files.

“What happened to coffee?” She asks. She’s trying to be playful but he can hear the struggle in her voice. He kisses her neck and nuzzles her. 

“I’ll go get it. You’re overly observant. Clint wanted to talk -“

“He wants you to keep an eye on me because he’s afraid I’ll go rogue again,” she says cutting him off. “I won’t. I’m not leaving you.”

He puts his arms around her and holds her tightly. 

“We’re in this together, doll. You’re not alone anymore. We’ll get through this,” he promises. She leans her head back against his shoulder and sighs. 

“This is such a clusterfuck,” she mutters. There’s a knock at the door.

“What?” Bucky yells, Ciara covers her ears and he pokes her in the ribs. 

“You’re an asshole,” Steve grumbles from the other side of the door. “Open up.”

“Can I say that to you later?” Bucky whispers. Ciara barks out a laugh and he grins. He gets off the bed and opens the door. Steve has three large mugs and Bucky can smell strong coffee. 

“Damn, kid. I owe you,” Bucky says overly appreciative of Steve’s efforts. He takes one of the mugs and lets Steve into the room. 

“You owe me a lot, jerk,” Steve reminds him. Ciara smiles warmly at Steve and Bucky sees that all too familiar flush of color on Steve’s face. 

“She has that effect on me, too,” Bucky teases. 

“If he kicks your ass I’m not going to help you,” Ciara warns as Bucky hands her a mug. Steve laughs. 

“Why? Because you make him blush?” Bucky says egging them both on. He wants to see Ciara smile and relax a little. 

“Ignore him, honey,” she says to Steve. Steve’s face reddens more. 

“You’re going to kill him,” Bucky warns. 

“Jesus, Steve, calm down. Aren’t you bedding Nat? You can’t be this much of a prude with her.” Ciara jests. 

“Your influence,” Steve gripes pointing at Bucky. Bucky laughs. 

“Negative,” Bucky tells him taking the other mug. He climbs behind Ciara again and takes his position holding her with one arm while sipping his coffee with the other. Steve drags the chair across the floor so he’s closer to the bed to be able to see the files. 

“Start from the beginning, Ciara. Tell me - us - about how all this shit started with you and Cordova,” Steve says sitting down. 

“The more you tell us the better our chances of fixing this shit quickly. I want us to go see Bruce when we’re done, doll.”

Steve’s eyes widen and Ciara contorts herself so she can look at Bucky. 

“Why? What’s wrong?” She asks worriedly. 

“To see if we can start a family, baby. That’s all. I just want to make sure you and I aren’t going to get hit with any more bullshit surprises.”

“Bucky,” she murmurs as she puts her arms around him. He hugs her and smiles at Steve who looks as happy as Bucky feels. 


	51. The Law Of Equivalent Exchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Full Metal Alchemist? Don't panic, there's no crossovers, just Ciara coming to grips with how the Universe likes to handle things.

Ciara relayed the details of what happened that fateful night she and Gabe were taken hostage and Hattie and Michael were ruthlessly murdered by Cordova’s men. She answered their questions, kept Bucky’s jealousy with the details about Clint at bay, and let them pick her brain for anything they thought may be of use. By the time it was all said and done she was in tears looking at Gabe’s dossier remembering her best friend and brother. 

“You would have liked him, Bucky,” she says as she wipes her eyes. “He was a good dude.”

“I’m sure he was, doll. I know you miss him,” he says gently. She feels his hands on her back rubbing and kneading gently. 

“I’m going to take what you’ve given us to Natasha and Clint, Ciara. There’s puzzle pieces everywhere and now we have to try and make them fit,” Steve says. He pats her leg and gives her a patient smile. 

“We’re going to go see Bruce. Maybe that will take your mind off of this for a minute,” Bucky whispers to her. For a brief moment it does. Bucky is in baby-making mode. Or he’s just really, really horny. 

“Don’t be surprised if Bruce gives you a full physical while you’re there,” Steve advises as he gets up. 

“What the hell for?” Ciara asks. 

“Fury likes physical stats on all his pets,” Bucky grumbles. 

“We aren’t his pets. He knows that,” Steve says. 

“Right,” Ciara replies, her tone dripping with disbelief. 

“Consider the alternatives, doll. For you and I...our past overshadows everything now.”

“I wish it didn’t have to be that way, Ciara, for either of you. Buck is and has always been a good man. What happened to him was something he couldn’t control, but he has to pay the price. The same goes for you. Here at least you two are safe and you’re together.”

Ciara looks at Bucky who wipes the tears from her cheeks. 

“He’s right.”

“I know he is, goddammit,” she grouses. “It’s not what any of us wanted. The law of equivalent exchange: in order to gain something you must sacrifice something of equal value.”

“And we’ve all sacrificed something along the way, doll. No one wants that to stop more than the three of us,” Bucky says softly. 

“Go see Bruce. If you think of anything else, Ciara, let me know, okay?” 

Steve stands up and, takes Ciara’s hands and pulls her off the bed. He hugs her tightly.

“I was going to give up that day, Ciara. You tried to save my best friend’s life. I won’t forget what you’ve done, kiddo.”

He lets her go and walks out of the room without another word. She looks at Bucky who’s eyes are full of emotion. 

“Know the saying everything happens for a reason, doll?”

“Very well, Bucky.”

“This is a good example,” he tells her. He takes her hands and brings her back to the bed with him. 

“Are you saying I was supposed to go back in time for you and Steve?”

“You were, baby. You couldn’t help what happened to me, but...Steve never told me he was about to give up or thought about it even though I tried to talk him out of enlisting god knows how many times. If he had given up, if you hadn’t come along...I don’t want to know what would have happened to the three of us, doll.”

Ciara  **_does_ ** consider this for a moment. The world would be a very different place if Captain America had never come to be. Bucky wouldn’t be here with her now. She may not be here either. What state would the world be in now if she had not gone with her friends that night?

“There would be worse things in the world now than Cordova,” Ciara says, “but that’s not the case now.”

“No, and we’re going to make sure it stays that way, doll. For you, for Steve, for me and for our baby.”

“You are just hell bent for leather on this, aren’t you?” she asks with a laugh. He smiles a little.

“I wasn’t kidding when I told you that I hoped I’d left a little something in you that day we met, baby. The fact that I did and that I would never have seen him or you had things turned out differently...this is our second chance, Ciara. Besides, I enjoy the practice.”

The playful half grin comes back and his blue eyes shine. 

“Do you now?” she asks with a grin of her own. She sees his lips twitch and the dossiers end up on the floor. 

“I do,” he says in a low voice, his lips a hairsbreadth from hers. The scent of him has her body in a frenzy - the combination of his soap and sweat spurring her desire. He’s studying her, his breathing deep and slow. He smiles and kisses her softly. She can feel his erection as he lowers his body onto hers. He pins her wrists above her head and his lips work their seductive magic on her neck, making her eyes close and her body arch looking for their connection. 

“Remember our first time, beautiful?” he purrs into her ear. Her skin erupts in goosebumps as his breath hits her skin. 

“I won’t ever forget,” she answers, nearly breathless from her need for him. His lips find hers and he smiles. 

“Take your clothes off for me, baby. Let me see that beautiful body.”

He lets her go and gets up. She gets off the bed and strips for him while he watches with a very pleased look. He gets undressed in turn and stands proudly in front of her. It’s taking all of her self control not to pounce on him. 

“Still as beautiful as the day we met, doll,” he says with a grin. He sits on the edge of the bed and reaches for her. 

“Just like on the chaise,” she says climbing onto him. 

“Just like the chaise, baby,” he tells her before kissing her again. He runs his hands down her back and over her ass where he squeezes and pulls her heat against his cock. She moans in his ear, low and deep. This time he gets chills and he she feels his body tense briefly as he growls.  She positions herself like she did their first time and guides him into her aching core. The feel of him inside her is like riding the line between insanity and ecstasy. She hears him chuckle a little as she rocks her hips, dipping down on to his thick cock and up again, unable to stop moaning his name. He kisses her neck and her hips snap forward as her body looks for more. She finally finds her rhythm and leans back enough to look into his eyes. 

“Ciara,” he moans quietly. He drives up into her, and Ciara gasps. He does it again and she feels her orgasm building rapidly. He takes control rolling her onto her back while staying inside her, pushing her up further on the bed, a smile on his face. He never stops thrusting, each movement is fluid and perfect. He lifts her ass off the bed just slightly and continues that same deliberate, intense thrusting, watching her keenly as Ciara tries to hold off on a screaming orgasm. 

“Tell me when,” he purrs, letting her ass go and maneuvering so he’s laying on top of her, his hands on hers, holding her to the bed. “Tell me when you’re going to come, doll.”

His voice is so low and quiet and seductive that it’s affecting her brain and her body. 

“James….” she moans as she arches up into him. 

“Give it to me, baby,” he growls, letting her hands go and sitting up on his knees. He pulls her legs up so that he has her by the thighs, and drapes her legs over his shoulders. He grabs her hips and pulls her against him with each powerful thrust he does into her. Ciara’s eyes flutter and close and she cries out for him, grabbing handfuls of the blanket and balling it up in her fists as she comes. 

There are a few moments where time has stopped and there is no sound or air or movement as her body reels from the pleasure he’s given her. She becomes aware of his own breathing becoming harsh and then he groans quietly as he empties himself into her. She’s still shaking as he comes to a stop and rests himself on her. Her body feels like there’s an electric current running through her muscles. He props himself on his arms and looks at her with that warm smile full of love. She runs her fingers through his hair and pulls him down so she can hold him. He doesn’t resist, sliding himself out of her so he can put his head on her shoulder. 

“I want this to be heaven,” he says softly. 

“Then heaven it will be, handsome.”

“I don’t want to get up.”

She laughs a little. 

“I’m quite content where I’m at,” she admits. He inhales deeply and then slowly exhales. 

“Can we do this later?” he asks.

“Of course we can, baby,” she says not masking her surprise at the request. He runs his fingers over her shoulder lightly. 

“If we had done this that day...I don’t think I would have been able to let you go, Ciara. It was hard enough letting you go and even harder not to chase after you. This would have sealed the deal.”

“You missed a lot of growing up, baby. You missed out on women and love -”

“I didn’t miss out on love,” he says raising his head and looking at her. “I didn’t miss out on women. I found you. What we have is love, Ciara. I didn’t need any other dame to show me that.”

She runs her fingers along his strong jawline and smiles. 

“But you missed out on this, Bucky. Having someone love you -”

He shakes his head no to stop her. 

“This is only possible with you. This is where I feel safe…” he trails off and puts his head back down. He reaches for her hand and holds it tight. 

“I don’t want anyone else. I never did,” he murmurs. “I’ve only ever wanted you.”

“Until the day I ran into you I didn’t know what I wanted, Bucky,” she says softly. She runs her fingers through his hair and he sighs in contentment. 

“No? Pretty dame like you should have had at least one guy waiting for her.”

“I was never much for dating. Gabe and I were into games and computers. He’d steal the parts, I’d build the units, we’d hack something, destroy the evidence, wash, rinse, repeat. I never really had a guy catch my attention the way you did that day.”

“Yeah? What was it about me that caught your fancy, doll?” he asks lifting his head again. He’s got a playful smile on his lips. 

“Those goddamn lines you kept hitting me with.”

He laughs.

“You know damn well they were good ones.”

“Not too often pretty dames have even prettier names,” she says reciting his opening line. 

“Jesus Christ you remembered that?” he laughs.

“How could I forget? That and the offer to go beat some gorilla’s ass and…”

Bucky is just laughing away now. 

“Alright, wiseass, alright. Was that the line that won you over? Because you could have saved us both some walking time and we could have spent the three hours in that little room like this,” he teases. 

“No, James Barnes, that was not the line that won me over.”

“Yes it was,” he says grinning. He’s so full of himself right now and it makes her laugh. 

“It wasn’t.”

“Was.”

“Are you this argumentative with Steve?”

“Steve’s not my girl.”

She makes a popping sound with her lips and starts to laugh. He purses his lips and nods his head then rubs his beard over her neck making her squeal. 

“Stop! Stop!” she laughs as she tries to get away. 

“Tell the truth,” he says from her neckline. 

“Steve is your girl?” 

“You’re done,” he growls and starts tickling her and rubbing his beard on her neck. Ciara is laughing so hard she’s crying and she can’t move because he’s got her pinned down. 

“I’m sorry!” she gasps trying to catch her breath. He stops for a moment. 

“Tell the truth, Ciara. That was the line that won you over.”

“I’d be lying if I said it was, Bucky.”

He lifts his head again and props himself up on his arms so he can look into her eyes. There’s mischief in his own eyes making them sparkle. 

“Is that so?” he asks. “That wasn’t the winning line?”

“It wasn’t, baby. I swear to you,” she says trying not to laugh again. He leans his face in closer to hers so their noses are touching. 

“What was the line, Ciara?”

“This,” she says putting her hand on the back of his head and pressing her lips to his. She lets him go and he grins. 

“That’s the one, huh?” he asks with that big grin.

“You’re one hell of a kisser, baby,” she says. He studies her for a moment.

“I love you, Ciara. I have since the moment we met.”

“I love you, Bucky. Past, present and future.” 


	52. Mating Season Is Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Ciara can't stay off of each other, and Bruce wants to make sure that they're able to achieve their end goal.

“I thought you’d have been here like an hour ago,” Bruce says when he sees Bucky walk in with Ciara. 

“We were...delayed,” Ciara says choosing her words. Bucky smirks. She’s still got that gorgeous after sex glow to her. The round they had in the shower probably added to that, and he’s not going to complain. She’s amazing, beautiful, smart…

“Hey, handsome, come back to planet Earth,” she says scratching his chin. He blinks at her then smiles. She laughs a bit. 

“Yeah...I can see you two have been...mating. I’d still like to check to see if you’re going to be able to carry to term, Ciara,” Bruce states. “Then I’m supposed to give you a full physical exam.”

“Swell,” she mutters. 

“Physical as in having her run on the treadmill and monitoring her heart?” Bucky asks. He knows what the answer will be and he’s even less thrilled than Ciara sounds. 

“Full physical. Including the internal. Look at it this way,” Bruce says when he sees the look on Ciara’s face, “we kill two birds with one stone. You,” he says pointing at Bucky, “I need a sample from.”

“Just take what I have,” Ciara jokes. Bruce sighs nervously.

“I need a baseline sample. I can’t get that from you, Ciara, only him.”

“Jesus…” Bucky groans. He looks at Ciara who gives him a devilish smirk. 

“You want a sample, a sample you’ll have. When he’s done you can torture me till I get agitated,” she says. 

“Bathroom, unless you two have somewhere else…you know what I’ll leave. Twenty minutes?” Bruce asks. Ciara smiles at Bucky who can only nod his head.

“Yeah, I’ll be back in twenty,” Bruce says and leaves the area. 

“Sterile cups are in the bathroom, doll. What’s your plan?” Bucky asks. He’s hoping she goes down on him because sweet Christ that was amazing. 

“Can’t contaminate you with my cells so you’ll have to settle for either me giving you a handjob or…” she trails off and starts to walk backwards away from him while beckoning him to follow. 

“Or?” he asks following her because he’s unable to help himself. 

“Or you watch me get off while you get yourself off.”

“Get in the room and strip,” he says removing his shirt and chasing her into one of the private little rooms. 

“Don’t forget the cup.”

“You better be naked with those legs spread,” he yells running to the bathroom for the specimen cup. He hears her laughing. He runs back into the room and she’s stark naked on the little bed, her knees bent, legs wide open to him. 

“You plan on ruining your pants, handsome?” she asks. He strips down quickly and as soon as she sees his cock he hears her mew. 

“If it weren’t for the fact that we need to know...I would be all over you right now, doll,” he says hungrily. He strokes himself slowly, relishing the idea of jumping her and sinking balls deep into her sweet heat. 

“Then for now just enjoy the show and give the good doctor what he wants,” she purrs. He watches her lick her index and middle fingers and then suck on them for a moment. She pulls them from her mouth with an audible pop. He’s vaguely aware that he’s moving towards her.

“Uh uh, big guy,” she warns. He stops and growls. 

“You go seventy years with nothing and then suddenly start getting it and see how much self-control you have,” he gripes. She smiles. 

“Give the man what he wants first, then you can have your way with me.”

It’s the last part that keeps him in his place for the moment. He watches her lick her fingers again and then runs them over her pink clit. She moans softly, her eyes on his as she parts her lips so he can see how wet she is. She runs her fingers inside herself a few times then goes back to the slow rubbing. The precum is already gathering fervently on the head of his cock. 

“I can’t stand her and watch, doll,” he growls coming towards her. 

“You won’t get a clean sample -”

“Oh I will,” he promises, “but I need to touch you and watch you while I do.” 

He runs his left hand over her leg, up her thigh and then to her slick opening. 

“Bucky,” she purrs taking his hand and grinding herself against him. 

“That’s my girl,” he says as he fingers her, watching her rock and moan on his hand while he strokes himself. He sees the heated flush cover her body as she works herself into an orgasm.

“Shit, doll, wait…” he grabs the cup and makes the deposit Bruce seems so keen to have. He puts the lid on the cup and looks at Ciara. She didn’t get to finish and she looks like she’s going to tear him to shreds. 

“Bucky.”

“Oh you’re mine now, baby,” he says pouncing on her and driving himself deep into her. The flimsy hospital bed creaks and groans in protest as they grind into each other. He can feel her tits rubbing against his chest with each thrust into her. Her back is arched, her legs are wrapped around him keeping him locked firmly into place inside her, and her nails have sunk into his back, but it’s her voice that does him in, the soft pleading moans for him to work her harder, the breathless way she whispers  _ James _ in his ear right before he feels her come with such intensity her whole body shakes and she whimpers into his shoulder. He comes with her, filling her with his seed while he holds her and wishes for their union to quicken inside her. 

They’re both panting and soaked with sweat again. 

“Another shower?” Bucky asks with a smile. She’s still flushed from the intensity of her orgasm. She gives him a brilliant smile. 

“I will never turn down taking a shower with you,” she promises. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s going to be back any minute. Come on, we’ll do a quick rinse so he can do this physical thing with you.”

“Ugh,” she groans. She slowly unravels herself from around him and lets him pull out. The sheet on the bed is soaked where their connection had been made. 

“You’re very wet, doll,” he teases as he runs his fingers over the outside of her core. She moans and her head rolls back. He skews an eyebrow at her, parts her legs and works her over with his fingers until she’s gripping the sides of the bed, calling out his name and her legs start to shake. He feels her walls close around his fingers along with a fresh wave of wetness. He smiles. 

“Are you trying to keep me from walking or are you trying to knock me up?”

“Yes,” he answers. “How am I doing with the first one?”

“I will...I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll do something,” she says making an idle threat. She sits up and tries to catch her breath. 

“You’re cute,” he taunts her. She glares at him. 

“If you didn’t have such a nice ass I would so kick it.”

He laughs. 

“Come on, beautiful. Let’s get cleaned up.” 

He helps her off of the bed and her legs wobble. He holds onto her, running his hands over her sides, loving the feel of her skin and how soft she is. 

“Buck?” 

Ciara and Bucky look at each other. That’s Steve’s voice.

“What? Don’t come in here, kid,” Bucky warns.

“Jesus Christ, you two,” Steve grumbles. “I need you to look at something Nat found. We’ll be in the meeting room.”

“So much for shower fun,” Ciara says sounding upset. Bucky kisses her softly. 

“We’ll get cleaned up and later on if you want we can have more fun and games or we can just...you know...do that thing we did earlier….”

She smiles and her eyes light up. 

“I’d like that, baby,” she says. They head to the shower and do a speedy cleanup. 

“If you get done before I get back in here and you’re tired, go lay down in our room, alright? I’ll come find you when I get done,” he tells her. He cups her face in his hands and caresses her cheeks with his thumbs. She nods in agreement and kisses him. His heart races a little. 

“If he’s going to do what he’s threatening to do I’ll end up taking a third shower. Let’s order in tonight and watch a movie, baby. Can we do that? Like a second date?” she asks. He can hear how hopeful she is about this and he wishes he could find the words to tell her how goddamn thrilled and happy and excited he is about the idea.

“Nothing would make me happier, doll. Second date it is. Think about what you want to eat and I’ll make it happen. Can we watch something classic?”

“Casablanca or Gone With The Wind?” 

“If we weren’t already engaged I’d propose right now,” he tells her, incredibly pleased by her suggestions. She smiles happily and he gets that lightheaded feeling. 

“Is it safe to come in yet?” Bruce calls. Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“Go see Steve. I’ll meet you in our room later, baby,” she promises. He kisses her and reluctantly leaves. 

He finds Steve in the meeting room with Natasha and Clint. 

“Wow,” Clint mutters when he sees Bucky. 

“Jesus, Barnes, you look like a neon sign,” Natasha jokes. 

“Take that up with your man instead of being jealous, Nat,” Bucky retorts. Steve chokes on his laughter and gets slapped on the arm.

“I am going to take it up with you later,” she promises Steve. 

“Promises, promises,” Steve mumbles, instigating Natasha. She narrows her eyes at him.

“For god’s sake, people, go take cold showers or let me go home so I can get laid,” Clint fusses. 

“You left her with Bruce?” Steve asks, changing the subject. 

“Yeah,” Bucky says looking over his shoulder at the door. “What do you need? I don’t like being apart from her.”

“I know you’ve missed her, Buck, but you’re not going to be able to spend every waking hour with her all the time,” Natasha says gently. “At least down the road. Right now, enjoy it while you can.”

Bucky nods, but he doesn’t like the idea of not being around her or near her or with her - especially during missions. 

“How much do you remember about Siberia?” Clint asks. 


	53. There May Be Some Bad News Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce becomes the bearer of potentially bad news and while nothing is set in stone, Ciara takes it to heart.

Ciara watches Bruce fidget nervously around her. 

“Did he tell you why I wanted a sample from him?” he asks from between her legs where he’s doing the pelvic exam. 

“Something to do with breeding an army of super soldiers so you can rule the world.”

She hears the speculum bounce off the floor and Bruce muttering curses. She laughs.

“I can hardly wait to see what kind of personality your offspring have,” he mumbles. “Now you have to stay in that position longer while I go get a clean speculum.”

“Goddammit.”

“Army of super soldiers,” he says as he walks away, “good god.”

Ciara puts her head back on the pillow and closes her eyes. Even with all the activity she and Bucky have engaged in today the image from the surveillance footage has lingered in the back of her mind. She recognizes that person, but she doesn’t know how or from where and it’s eating at her. It’s like the answer is right there, right at the tips of her fingers but she can’t quite reach it. 

Her mind goes back to the dossiers of Hattie and Michael and Gabe. She misses them, her little family. Gabe she misses most. Her brother and best friend. He was her only friend for so long, he’d taken care of her, practically raised her because god knows the family that adopted them only did so for the attention and sympathy they garnered. The father was a closet drunk, the mother had a serious case wanting to be the center of attention in all things regardless, and so the kids were left to fend for themselves for the most part. It was Gabe who had introduced her to Hattie and Michael. It was Gabe who showed her potential with computers and hacking. It was Gabe who had been her rock when everything around her fell apart. It was Gabe who she considered to be her only family. 

“Are you okay?” Bruce asks coming back into the room.

“Thinking.”

“That tends to be upsetting,” he agrees. “I’m just about finished with this part. They want you to do exertion testing after this. We’re almost through here,” he says going back to his exam.

“Joy.”

“Before we get to that, I just want to get some background on you, Ciara. I told Bucky that first and foremost I’m your doctor, I want to make sure you two are healthy and stay that way. I know you two want kids, so what I’m going to ask is going to be personal.”

“Can we finish this shit up first? I kind of feel vulnerable with my vag exposed to you like this.”

“I’m done,” he says popping the speculum out. 

“Thank Christ,” she mutters. 

“There’s sanitary wipes on the counter. Clean up and get dressed. I’ll be right outside here,” he says getting up and exiting the room. 

Ciara hops off the table and wipes herself down trying to get rid of the gross feeling that comes with these types of exams. She gets dressed and steps out of the room. 

“I’m ready for your interrogation,” she says. 

“Have a seat,” he says pointing to a chair. “Like I said, these are personal questions, but it’ll help me to make sure you two are good to go.”

“Fire when ready.”

“Aside from the miscarriage when you got the serum, have you ever been pregnant?”

“No.”

“Any past irregular pap smears?”

“No.”

“Have you slept with anyone since getting the serum?”

“You mean besides Bucky? No. I have not.”

“Alright, okay,” he says gently, picking up on her menacing tone. “Any issues with your menstrual cycle?”

Ciara opens her mouth to say something then snaps it shut. 

“I haven’t had one in I don’t know how long,” she says after a few moments. Bruce’s eyes widen. 

“Think hard, when was the last cycle?”

She furrows her brow trying to remember.

“Before the serum? Before I met Bucky….”

“You haven’t had a cycle since you got pregnant,” Bruce says thinking out loud. 

“What does that mean, Bruce?” she asks nervously. He looks at her with patient eyes.

“There’s a chance you won’t be able to get pregnant, Ciara. A chance, it’s not a certainty...I can run some tests and check your hormone levels, but it’s something you should be aware of…”

She can hear Bruce is still talking but she’s stopped listening. Bucky will be devastated. He wants a baby so badly and now there’s a chance she can’t give him what he desires the most. It never ends. The pain and suffering is infinite. There will never be a break, each moment of peace will always be shattered by more pain and suffering. 

Bruce is still talking, something about taking blood samples and running tests on Bucky’s samples…

“Are you up to doing the exertion tests?”

“Sure,” she answers absently. She doesn’t know what she’s agreed to, and she doesn’t care. She looks at the ring on her finger. Bucky will be so hurt when he finds out she let him down again. 

This is all Ciara can think about as Bruce hooks up wires and electrodes to her, puts her on a treadmill, runs test after test after test on her, does other things she’s only semi-aware of. 

“You’re dwelling on something that may or may not be an issue,” he says at long last. “There are things we can do if it is an issue -”

“Like what, Bruce? IVF? Imagine how well that’s going to work with this fucking serum in me.”

“Okay, so maybe not that, but we’ll figure something out. We don’t even know if it’s an issue. It may not be. I need some time to look at the lab results. Don’t panic, don’t dwell on it, just spend time with Bucky and enjoy yourselves.”

She nods her head, but what he’s saying is easier said than done. She heads to Bucky’s room. He’s not there. She grabs some of his clothes and her heart breaks. He’s going to be so disappointed. She heads to the bathroom, turns on the water and strips. She steps in, sinks to the floor and cries. She’s failed the man she loves yet again. 


	54. We've Got Options, Don't Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara finally tells Bucky what has her shorts in a twist and Bucky tells her terrible jokes to make her laugh.

Bucky rubs his jaw as he and Steve walk back towards their rooms. 

“Cordova knew about Siberia,” Steve mutters.

“Through Van Doran.”

“They were storing someone there. They pulled him out before Zemo lured us there it seems, because otherwise…”

“Otherwise whoever that was would have gotten flushed with the rest of them,” Bucky says finishing Steve’s thought. 

“Van Doran wasn’t the only double agent. This just gets deeper and deeper and deeper. How much do you think Ciara knows?” Steve asks as they pause in the hallway. 

“I don’t know, kid. I don’t know if it’s buried, if she genuinely doesn’t know, if she hasn’t told us everything because we’re not asking her the right questions…” 

“We need to know, Buck. Who ever that was that was outside is running either the same serum she has or a slightly different version. Maria and Natasha are working on deciphering those hieroglyphics from Siberia that Cordova was using as notes, but we have to know what she knows.”

“I know, Steve. I get it. Stop with the badgering for god’s sake,” Bucky gripes. “I will ask her. You can ask her. I can’t make her answer the questions anymore than you can. You know that. If she doesn’t know the answers what the fuck do you want her to do?” 

Steve folds his arms over his chest and sighs. 

“I’m not trying to start an argument with you or her, Buck. If she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know. You’re right, we can’t force her to answer something she can’t. We need to at least ask, though, right?” 

“I’m not disagreeing, Steve,” Bucky says feeling like he’s being put on the defensive, “all I’m saying is that we can’t expect her to have all the answers. Much like they did with me, they probably only gave her what she needed to do her missions. She was a puppet. A highly skilled, murderous, rage induced puppet.”

Steve nods. 

“I want Cordova put away. I want whoever that was that was outside the compound looking for us put away. I want the two of you to be happy. And I want a vacation,” Steve says tiredly. 

“You’re preaching to the choir, kid. Once all this shit settles down, she and I are going to go look for a house or a big apartment. A place that will have room for a nursery when the time comes.”

Steve smiles. 

“I can’t remember the last time I saw you this happy, Buck. Yes I can. The day you introduced her to me at the Pavillion.”

“I told you I was going to marry her, Steve,” Bucky says with a laugh. 

“The future Mrs. Barnes,” Steve says reminiscing. 

“We’re due for our second date. She should be done with Bruce’s tests by now,” Bucky says thoughtfully. 

“Mind if I stop in and say hello?”

“So long as she’s not asleep, kid,” Bucky says with a shrug. 

“Are you going with the whole white picket fence thing?” Steve teases as they start walking again. Bucky laughs. 

“That’s the idea, yeah, but it’s whatever she wants. If she wants an apartment overlooking the city that’s what we’ll do. If she wants a house in the suburbs that’s what we’ll do.”

“You’re going to spoil her, Buck.”

“She deserves it, Steve. She’s devoted so much of the last several years of life to me, and to a lesser extent you, that I feel like I owe it to her to give her whatever her heart desires.”

“Her heart desires you, Buck,” Steve says stopping again and looking at him. “You can’t look at that dame and not see the devotion, adoration and love she has for you. She couldn’t make it any more obvious if she held up a banner. I know you struggle with what happened and your self worth, but you shouldn’t. She and I know who you are and we both know that the man you are is worth fighting and dying for. Don’t forget that.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say. He lowers his head and feels Steve’s hands on his shoulders. He looks up and hugs his best friend. 

“You better name one of those kids after me,” Steve tells him. 

“I was thinking of naming our daughter after you,” Bucky jokes.

“You’re going to name your daughter Steven?” he asks sounding thoroughly confused.

“Stephanie,” Bucky says taunting him. 

“I’m going to kick your ass,” Steve grumbles as they get to Bucky’s bedroom. Bucky opens the door slowly and peers inside. Ciara is sitting in the middle of the bed, the dossiers spread out over the bed. She looks up when she sees the door open, her eyes are distant and there’s a sadness there that worries him. 

“Hey, doll,” he says walking in, “what’s wrong?”

She sees Steve behind him and shakes her head. She forces herself to smile, but Bucky sees right through it. 

“Are you alright, Ciara?” Steve asks walking into the room. 

“Hi, Steve,” she says ignoring his question and Bucky’s. Bucky and Steve exchange glances. She looks at the files on the bed. 

“How was your thing with Bruce?” Bucky asks. He climbs onto the bed next to her and kisses her cheek. She doesn’t seem to notice. 

“What did Natasha want?” she asks. She’s deflecting. Something happened and she’s trying to hide it and bury it. 

“We found a connection with Cordova and Siberia,” Steve says hesitantly. She looks at Bucky her eyes now full of questions. 

“Siberia? Where they stored the others?” she asks. 

“Clever girl,” Bucky says with a half smile. “Yes. We think that before Zemo lured Steve and I there that Cordova pulled whoever he had stored there out.”

She furrows her brow, he can see she’s trying to piece something together. 

“That’s where Hydra kept the other soldiers. Was Van Doran testing a different serum? Something closer to what you and Steve have?”

“We don’t know, kiddo. We were hoping you could tell us,” Steve says. She flips through the pages of the dossier of Gabe’s while she shakes her head. 

“This doesn’t make sense,” she says quietly. She starts pulling the dossier apart. Bucky grabs the other two, closes them and hands them to Steve to set aside. Ciara gets up off the bed and starts laying out pieces of the dossier, lining up photographs of her brother, her eyes searching for something to connect the dots with what Steve’s told her.

“What else did she say?” Ciara asks as she paces. 

“They’re still trying to decipher the notes Cordova and Van Doran used,” Bucky tells her. 

“Hattie and Michael were dead. Gabe went to jail. I didn’t get the serum for a few months...Gabe died in jail…” she muses. She shakes her head.

“Ciara,” Steve says. 

“Talk to us, doll.”

“I don’t know, Bucky. I don’t. The shit in this file is all over the fucking place. The capture date is wrong by like three weeks. The prison...that’s not a federal prison, that’s a local prison that has been out of operation for years. The cause of death is listed as heart failure from what I pulled, but in here it’s listed as…” she flips through some pages in rapid succession, “asphyxiation probable suicide.” 

“We know Cordova was a lying piece of shit, baby, is it possible the information he fed you was to just keep you quiet?” Bucky asks.

“Not all of the information I have was from Cordova, Bucky,” she says earnestly. “I searched outside of his records. I searched public records, I hacked into anything I could...but when I found he was dead...and I was so concerned about you...I never gave any of this a second thought.”

“What do you know about Siberia? Anything?” Steve asks. 

“Hydra’s killer angels were kept in deep freeze there. They broke Bucky there. They kept him there, too. There were tests done on other subjects. It’s possible that they pulled some sort of hattrick and managed to get another version of the serum to work in another body, another person…I can’t….this shit is so fucked up. The only consistent detail is that Gabe is deceased. But that doesn’t answer your question. I don’t know anything else about Siberia. What I do know is that Van Doran created an extra concentrated form of the serum that I was used as the guinea pig for. Most of the conversations Cordova and Van Doran had were kept out of earshot, with good reason. Cordova isn’t stupid, just fucking psychotic and insane.”

“I’ll see how Maria and Nat are coming along with breaking that code Cordova used,” Steve says getting up and dragging the chair back. “Are you sure you’re okay, kiddo?”

She looks at Bucky.

“He’s talking to you, doll. He doesn’t call me kiddo. Jerk is his favorite pet name for me.”

“If the shoe fits,” Steve says. Ciara smiles faintly. 

“Let me know what you find out,” she tells Steve. He nods, looks at Bucky questioningly and Bucky can only respond by shrugging his shoulders. He’s going to see if he can pry whatever is going on with his girl out of her. 

Steve leaves and Ciara goes back to looking at the file on Gabe. Bucky gets off the bed and stands next to her. 

“Look at me, doll.”

She obeys and focuses on him. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks for what seems like the umpteenth time. That sadness comes back to her eyes tenfold and she looks away. She crosses her arms over her chest like she’s hugging herself and takes a half step back from him, but she doesn’t respond.

“Ciara, baby, what’s going on? What happened?” he asks. He’s worried and scared that something came up during the exam and she’s afraid to tell him. He doesn’t want her to hide anything, he doesn’t want her to be afraid to talk to him. He needs them to have open communication because with the issues they both have….

Still no response. She takes another half step back. 

“No you don’t, doll,” he says grabbing her arm and trying to pull her closer. She won’t budge and Bucky is a little unnerved at the power she’s exhibiting right now. How strong is she?

Since she won’t budge he moves closer to her. He lifts her chin so she has to look at him. 

“What happened with Bruce? Do I need to go see him?”

He sees her breathing has picked up, and that whatever it is that she’s refusing to talk about is tearing her apart. 

He shakes his head, grabs her and picks her up in his arms. She squirms and fusses, but he holds her tightly, refusing to let her go. He sits down on the bed still holding her and finagles himself into a position where he can keep her in his arms and cradle her till she’s ready to talk. 

“Stop,” she mumbles still trying to get away. 

“Not till you tell me what has your panties in a twist.”

“James.”

“Ciara.”

“Please stop.”

“Negative, doll. You’re not locking me out. Whatever happened, whatever is in that head of yours that’s got you upset like this, we’ll work it out. We’re in this together. You and me.”

She struggles more. He’s afraid he’s going to hurt her, but he refuses to let her go. 

“Ciara, stop it!” he orders. She stops. Bruce was right, she yields only to him and that’s both fascinating and frightening. 

“Please let me go.”

“When you tell me what’s wrong I’ll consider it.”

He’s regarded with silence. 

“Alright, baby,” he says giving in and letting her go. “I’ll go ask Bruce.”

Still no answer and she’s made no move to stop him. He’s beyond frustrated with her right now.  He slides away from her and makes like he’s going to leave the room. He gets to the door and she finally speaks. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” she says quietly. Bucky stops and turns around. One of them has lost their goddamn mind.

“Who said you were going to lose me?”

He sees she’s pulled her knees up to her chest, just like when he found her in her room the other night. 

“Ciara?”

She looks up at him and the sadness and hurt in her stormy eyes knocks the breath out of him for a moment. She drops her eyes. 

“Bruce says...there may be a chance I can’t conceive….”

He tries to speak, he knows he needs to console her but he can’t find the words or his voice at this moment. 

“I’ve failed you on so many levels,” she says looking at the ring. “You deserve so much better, so much more. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” he asks finding his voice finally. He goes back to the bed and sits down in front of her. “What the hell is there to be sorry for, Ciara? You didn’t fail me, you haven’t failed me and don’t sit there and tell me I deserve better than you because that’s absolute bullshit.”

She puts her head down on her knees so he can’t see her face. He’s going to beat Bruce’s ass so fucking badly when he gets Ciara settled down…

“I can’t give you what you want.”

“He said there’s a chance. He didn’t say it was a definite...come here, you fucking nut,” he says grabbing her and pulling her into his arms. He holds her and rocks her slowly back and forth until she uncurls herself. 

“He said it’s a chance, right?” he asks gently. He can feel how upset she is over this, and if he can feel it on the outside he’s sure it’s a hundred times worse for her on the inside. 

“Yes. I don’t want you to resent me. I don’t want you to end up hating me,” she says beginning to cry. 

“Why would you think that, doll? Why would I end up resenting you or hating you? Bruce laid it out that there was a chance we couldn’t have kids together. It’s not the end of the world and it sure as hell won’t be the end of us. If we can’t have one ourselves there are other options, baby. I’m not going to stop loving you because of this. It would take an act of the gods to get me to stop loving you. You know that,” he says softly. She cries into his chest. Part of her anguish right now is the idea of not being able to conceive, part of it is that she’s afraid he’ll stop loving her and the combination of the two has torn her apart. Bucky holds her close and lets her cry out her frustrations. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whimpers.

“You’re not, Ciara. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“I can’t -”

“Shhh….you’re dwelling on an if, doll. And honestly, if that turns out to be the case we’ll look at other options. If you want we can look at adoption. If you decide you don’t want a baby after all this we’ll get dogs. Or cats. Or a gila monster.”

She sobs and laughs at the same time. 

“I know how badly you want a son, Bucky.”

“I know you want a baby, Ciara. It isn’t one sided.”

“I wanted to have your baby,” she says and starts to cry again. 

“Shhh…” he whispers. “Listen to me, doll, it isn’t set in stone that we can’t, right? Bruce didn’t say it was a fact that no matter how often I made a deposit there’d be no return investment.” 

“You’re so goddamn simple,” she says laughing a little more. He grins. She has a very similar sense of humor to his own, thank god. 

“Yeah, maybe. Will you stop worrying, Ciara? We’re good, I promise. This,” he says taking her left hand, “is the start of our forever. Nothing is going to change that or come between us. I promise you.”

She looks up at him, her tear stained eyes full of love. 

“I love you,” she says softly. 

“I know,” he says with a playful grin. “I love you, too, beautiful. Think we can do our second date now?”

She smiles finally. 

“Are you going to eat in or order out?”

“Oh I’m going to do both tonight,” he promises. She starts to laugh again. It’s music to his ears. 


	55. Nightmare or Vision?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara's nightmare manifests itself in a frightening way

It’s quiet. There’s a mist on the ground clinging to the base of the trees. The air is still, but there’s an uneasiness to it. Ciara steps cautiously, listening, moving as stealthily as possible. She hears music. It’s faint but detectable now. She follows the sound, keeping well aware of her surroundings. There’s a clearing in the trees, a glade. She recognizes this place. This is where they held Gabe’s eighteenth birthday. There’s a band, friends of friends that agreed to play for the party. There are kegs and a table full of every kind of hard booze imaginable. She sees Hattie and Michael wrapped around each other, practically dry-humping while everyone else bounces around like they’re on drugs. 

“Ciara!”

She hears Gabe calling her, but she doesn’t see him. She looks around. There’s lots of people here today. Where there really this many people at the party? She can’t remember. 

“Ciara!”

She hears him call to her again. She looks in the direction of his voice and sees him sitting at a table waving frantically to her. He’s alive. He’s alive and he’s here and all this other shit has been a dream…

She runs over and hugs him. 

“Hey, calm down. Have a drink,” he says, his words slurring a little. He pours an endless amount of something from an unmarked bottle into one of those solo cups and hands it to her.

“Cheers! To me!” he sings merrily. He downs the contents of his drink and grimaces. “Shit’s bitter.”

“Keep drinking,” she hears someone close by say. She looks but can’t see anyone near them. Hattie and Michael are still grinding against each other, everyone else is now swaying to a song she barely recognizes. 

“Drink up, little sister,” Gabe says as he pours more into his own cup and takes another large gulp. “It’ll make you strong like bull!” he says doing a horrible Russian accent. She laughs. This is her Gabe, the goofy son of a bitch with the horrible jokes and shitty one-liners. 

“Did you get cake? Hattie made a cake, but it bled out,” Gabe says. He’s talking crazy. She doesn’t see a cake anywhere. Bled out? What the hell does that mean? Did Hattie not cook the goddamn batter the whole way through again? Gabe smiles and sways a little as he drinks more of what the fuck ever is in his cup. 

“Drink,” she hears the voice say again. It’s low and almost serpent-like in its delivery. Gabe downs the drink so fast it’s running down the sides of his mouth. It’s this fluorescent blue color that stains the corners of his mouth and chin. He pours himself more and raises his cup to toast with her.

“To us,” he says suddenly subdued, “to us, because death stalks us all.”

He downs the drink and Ciara looks in her cup to see the same vile blue liquid in hers. The music suddenly stops and she looks away from Gabe to see the other party goers are either on the ground or in huge glass vats. Hattie and Michael are clinging to each other as they slowly float to the ground, blood rushing down their faces. Ciara is mortified. She needs to get out of here. She needs to get Gabe and they need to run…

She looks over at Gabe and her drink falls from her hand, splashing the ground, killing the grass instantly. Gabe isn’t the same Gabe anymore. He’s ten times his size, muzzled, empty eyes, clad in black. He grabs her by the throat lifting her off the ground with ease as he squeezes her throat shut.

“Death stalks us all.”

Ciara wakes up screaming and clawing at her throat.

  
  



	56. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve sit with Ciara until she falls back asleep, and Steve reminds Bucky that they're family, all three of them, and that they take care of their own.

Bucky hears Ciara screaming and sits up, wide awake, trying to get to her and calm her down. She’s clawing at her throat. 

“No! No, no, no! Calm down! Easy, baby! Easy! You’re safe,” he says pulling her hands away from her throat and forcibly holding them down while he slides up against her to hold her. 

“You’re okay. It’s alright,” he says trying to calm her and rock her. She’s soaked with sweat, he can feel her heart racing in her chest and she’s panting so hard he’s afraid she’s going to hyperventilate. There’s a knock at the door.

“Buck?”

It’s Steve. Thank god.

“I’ve got you, baby, it’s okay,” Bucky whispers. “Open it up, Steve,” he calls. Steve opens the door before the words are even out of Bucky’s mouth. He can see the others have congregated in the hall. Somebody screaming tends to cause that. 

“Go back to your rooms. We’ve got this,” Steve tells them. 

“Steve,” Natasha protests, “she needs to see Bruce -”

“We’ll make that determination here in a minute. Give us some time, Nat,” he says calmly. Steve has dealt with Bucky’s night terrors and is used to doing this. The others must have been freaked out because it’s a woman screaming instead of a grown ass man.

“What happened?” Steve asks as he closes the door, shutting the others out. Ciara is curled up in Bucky’s arms, her breathing is still very shallow and he can still feel her heart pounding. 

“She just woke up screaming, kid,” Bucky tells him. “Ciara, baby, it’s okay. We’re here. You can look. Open your eyes, doll,” he whispers trying to coax her back to the real world. Steve sits on the bed in front of them and puts his hand on her head. She gasps and cringes from his touch.

“She’s soaked. Jesus Christ…” Steve mutters. “Ciara, it’s okay. You’re here with me and Buck. You’re safe, kiddo.”

“We’ve got you, baby. We’ve got you. Slow down, doll. Slow down,” Bucky says softly. “Breathe like me, baby.”

“Slow breaths, Ciara. Slow and deep,” Steve adds. 

Her breathing starts to mellow out after a few minutes. Bucky looks at Steve who can only shake his head. Steve continues to stroke her hair while Bucky cradles her. He needs to make sure she understands she’s safe. If she’s still in the throws of this nightmare, he needs to try and help her find her way out. 

“Bucky,” she murmurs. He feels her hand on his chest and she stirs a little in his arms. 

“I’m right here, baby. Me and Stevie are right here. You’re safe. Open your eyes, baby. Will you do that for me?” he asks.

She opens her eyes slowly and lifts her head. A shaky sigh escapes her as she looks around. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Steve says giving her his million dollar grin, “you okay? Do you know where you are?”

She blinks a few times and then nods her head.

“Yeah. God,” she mumbles putting her hand to her head and closing her eyes again. Steve goes back to petting her and Bucky rocks her gently. 

“It’s alright, Ciara,” Bucky promises, kissing her head. “Grab a bottle of that water over there, kid, please.”

Steve nods and goes for the water. He brings back two bottles, opens one and hands it to Bucky. 

“Drink a little,” Bucky tells her. She takes the bottle and drinks a few sips, again obeying his commands. Steve rubs her neck, watching her the way he’d watch Bucky after Bucky had an episode like this. 

“Are you okay, kiddo?” Steve asks after a few more minutes. 

“I’m sorry I woke you guys up.”

“Don’t apologize, baby.”

“It’s alright, Ciara. You had a nightmare, that’s all,” Steve says softly. She drinks a little more water and puts her head back on Bucky’s chest. Bucky can’t help but smile when she does this. 

“Let me go get her a cold washcloth and make sure everyone went back to bed...do you want me to get Bruce?” Steve asks as he heads to the door. 

“Do you want Bruce to come check on you, doll?” Bucky asks her. 

“No,” she says softly. Bucky shakes his head no. Steve nods and heads out of the room. Bucky can hear him talking just outside of the door. It sounds like Wanda, Nat, and Clint if he had to guess. Might be Sam, but he can’t tell and he doesn’t give a shit right now. 

“Let me see your throat, baby,” he says letting her go. She groans plaintively when he lets her go, but she sits up for him and tilts her head back. He inhales sharply. She’s clawed herself open to the point there’s blood trailing down her neck a little. 

“Shit,” he hisses. 

“What did I do?” She doesn’t realize she’s hurt herself and that’s just as scary. 

“Scratched yourself open, Ciara. Hang on,” he says covering her ears with his hands. “STEVE!”

Steve throws the door open. Bucky can see Wanda and Nat in the hall. 

“Get Bruce, tell him to bring some antibiotic ointment and some bandages. Please,” Bucky says quickly. Steve doesn’t ask questions thankfully. He just pulls the door shut again. 

“Is it bad?” Ciara asks when Bucky drops his hands from her ears. He lifts her chin gently and tilts her head in each direction to look. 

“Do you want me to lie to you, Ciara?” 

“It’s bad.”

“That must have been one fucking nightmare, baby. Jesus Christ,” he mutters as he lets her chin go. “Do you remember any of it?”

Her eyes darken, going from stormy to F5 tornado looking. 

“It doesn’t...it’s fragmented…” 

He can hear her struggling, and he doesn’t want to push the issue right now. She’s calmed down and that’s where he wants her to stay. 

“Alright, baby, it’s okay,” he soothes. “You’re okay.”

He puts his arms around her again and cradles her. She leans against him and puts her head on his chest. She’s breathing normally again for the most part. Her shirt is still soaked as is her hair and Bucky’s afraid she’s going to get cold as she cools off. 

“Do you want to get under the covers, baby?”

“No, Bucky, I just want to stay here,” she says tiredly. “Don’t let me go.”

“Never, doll.”

Steve knocks on the door and then comes in followed by Bruce. 

“What happened?” Bruce asks. He’s barely awake. He must be one of the two people who slept through Ciara’s night terror. 

“Bad dream. She scratched her neck open pretty bad,” Bucky tells him. He sees Steve grimace at the thought. 

“Is she awake?” Bruce asks, cocking his head to the side. Steve shakes his head no. 

“Shit,” Bucky says. “Baby, open your eyes. Let Bruce look at your neck then we can go back to sleep.”

She growls at him. Steve smiles and shakes his head. Bruce looks amused, too. 

“Ciara,” Bucky says more firmly. She huffs at him and sits up. 

“Oh wow,” Bruce mutters, the smile fading from his face when he sees her neck. “Tilt your head back, let me clean this up a little, okay?”

Steve sits on the bed again and he and Bucky watch as Bruce cleans up Ciara’s neck while she fusses about it. He finishes pretty quickly and does a thorough check to make sure he hasn’t missed any open spots. 

“Do you want something to help you go back to sleep, Ciara?” he asks. She shakes her head no. 

“Is it really that bad? The look on Steve’s face makes me think you can see my vocal cords,” she says. Bucky snickers a little and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Not quite. Given how fast you heal the damage that’s here now probably won’t be visible when you get up again. It may just look like scratches or it may just be red. Don’t pick at it. Are you sure you don’t want anything? Even a mild sedative? That had to be one hell of a nightmare, Ciara.”

She looks at Bucky and he can see how tired she is. 

“No, I just want to go back to sleep,” she says softly. Bruce nods. 

“If you need me you know where to find me. Come see me in the morning so I can take a look at that again,” he instructs her. Ciara nods and Bruce gathers up his stuff, bids them goodnight and leaves the room. 

“Do you want me to get her a cold washcloth?” Steve asks. “I got Bruce instead of that.”

“No,” Bucky tells him. He pulls Ciara back into his arms and cradles her again. 

“Are you okay, kiddo?” Steve asks her. He’s rubbing her neck again and Bucky feels her sigh softly. 

“Yeah.”

They sit in silence for several minutes. 

“She’s asleep,” Steve says quietly. 

“Probably not entirely, but pretty close,” Bucky tells him. “Thank you for helping us, kid -”

“Don’t, Buck. She’s family. We take care of our own, just like we always have. She’d do the same for either of us.”

“She would. She has. She’ll continue to do so.”

“I’m sure she will, Buck. I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in the morning. If you need me…”

“Nat’s going to kick your ass if you keep leaving her bed,” Bucky teases. 

“I’ll find a way to make it up to her,” Steve retorts. Bucky has to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. Steve smirks and walks out of the room. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Bucky whispers softly, “you want to lay back down with me?”

“Mmmhhhmmm.”

“Come on, baby,” he says sliding back with her towards the pillows. He lays down, keeping her in his arms and then contorts himself so he can turn off the light without disturbing Ciara too much. She’s sound asleep, curled up against him with her head on his chest. 

“I love you, Ciara Barnes,” he tells her as he closes his eyes. 


	57. Hacker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara sets up protocols to hack whatever information she can on Cordova and what the fuck he's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to SpaceManSam for her insight into hacking and answering my ridiculous questions.

Ciara wakes up to someone knocking on the door. She opens her eyes and sees Bucky’s piercing blue eyes regarding her. He smiles and his eyes shine brightly. 

“Hi, beautiful,” he says, his voice still heavy with sleep. 

“Hi yourself, handsome.”

“Can I tell the kid to come in?”

“If you don’t he’s just going to walk in anyway.”

Bucky grins and gives her a kiss. 

“Steve,” he calls. Ciara hears the door open slowly. 

“Buck?”

“Yeah, kid, come in,” he says sluggishly. Ciara rolls onto her back and sees Steve in the doorway. He smiles when he sees her.

“How do you feel, kiddo?”

“Like shit for keeping the twin brothers from different mothers up,” she answers. They both chuckle in tired amusement. 

“Nice one, doll,” Bucky says sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. His left arm shimmers in the muted light. He sees her looking and gives her that playful side grin. 

“Do you want to come with us? Running. We’re going running,” Steve tells her. 

“No. I want to go take a shower and see Bruce about this fucking mess,” she says touching her neck. Bucky takes her hand from her neck so he can kiss her knuckles. 

“Are you sure, baby? I can stay here or go with you or -”

“It’s alright, Bucky. I’m alright. It was a bad dream, that’s all.”

He still seems hesitant to leave her alone. She looks over at Steve who also looks exhausted. These two boys…

“I think you two should go back to bed, to be honest,” she tells them. 

“Not without you,” Bucky replies quickly. 

“I don’t see that sitting so well with Natasha,” Ciara says with a smirk. Steve’s lips pucker and she sees him blush a little. 

“You’re an ass,” Bucky says and then laughs when she sticks her tongue out at him. 

“I mean it, you two. Go back to bed. I kept you two up for quite a while from the looks of things and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Ciara,” Steve says waving away her statement. “It happened, it’s no one’s fault. We’ll be alright. Besides, if I get that tired I’ll go back to bed and if he gets that tired he’ll come nag you till you go to bed with him.”

“Keep it up, punk,” Bucky mutters as he pulls on jogging pants and then a shirt. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? I’ll be outside, just yell and I’ll come find you, doll.”

“I will be fine, baby, I promise.” 

Bucky eyes her a little longer, crawls on the bed and gives her a sweet kiss then leaves with Steve. 

Ciara gets up quickly, grabs clothes and runs to the shower. She cleans up as fast as possible and heads to see Bruce. 

“Just like I thought, it’s pretty well healed. It just looks like you were scratching lightly now,” Bruce says looking at her neck. “I have news about your conceiving situation.”

Ciara’s plans for the day take a hasty backseat to Bruce’s statement.

“And?”

“You’re fertile, Ciara. So is he. There’s no adverse reaction in your system to his sperm so the odds of you two getting pregnant are good,” he says happily. 

“Will I be able to carry to term?”

“There’s always risks involved even if you’re not a super soldier,” he says plainly, “but that’s what I’m here for. I’ve got the best equipment money can buy so I’ve been told. The point is, you and Bucky are perfectly able to have a baby together.”

“Have you told him?”

“Nope. That I will leave for you. That’s not what caused the episode last night is it?” he asks worriedly. 

“No. No, it had nothing to do with that, Bruce.”

“You’re not going to talk about it are you?”

She smiles.

“So I’ve got a clean bill of health and I can continue to ride Bucky without consequence?”

Bruce scratches his head and looks at her uneasily. 

“You really are something else. There’s a reason you don’t reuse tea bags. They don’t keep their potency. At least give him time enough to cool off and regenerate some of his swimmers before you attack him again.”

“Wow. I like you. You’re fun,” Ciara laughs. “Attack him,” she repeats. “Just for the record, he’s the one that told me he’s held out for seventy years and he can’t be expected to hold out any longer now.”

“Oh my god, you’re going to kill each other,” Bruce gripes. “Okay, well, I have adrenaline and plenty of IV fluids here, so have it I guess.”

Ciara can’t help but laugh. Bruce shrugs. She leaves the room still laughing. The man is a goddamn piece of work, but she likes his demeanor. 

Her next stop is to find Clint and/or Natasha. Her preference is Clint, but she’ll settle for either one. 

She walks into the conference room where she had launched the chair at Fury’s head. Hill is in there working on something. 

“Have you seen Barton or Romanov?” Ciara asks. 

“Negative on both counts. Check the kitchen or check the other meeting room.”

Ciara heads to the kitchen. She sees the petite redhead from when she first arrived sitting at the table with a lean looking dude with a gem implanted in his head. Wanda Maximoff and Vision. 

Wanda smiles pleasantly.

“Would you like to join us?” she asks. 

“I’ll take a raincheck. I’m looking for Clint -”

“He was in the meeting room at the other end of the hall when last we saw him,” Vision tells her. 

“ Mulţumesc,” Ciara replies with a smile. Wanda beams at her. 

Ciara heads to the meeting room. Clint isn’t here and neither is Natasha. 

“God-fucking-dammit, Archer,” she grouses. She sits down at the keyboard and brings up the virtual screens. 

“I heard you were looking for me.”

Ciara looks over and sees Natasha in the doorway. Not Clint, but she’ll do.

“I was. I need your help.”

“This should be interesting.”

“Don’t give me your shit, Nat. How has the deciphering coming along?”

“We’ve barely put a dent in it,” Natasha admits. “It’s beyond any codebreakers we currently have. For the moment. Why?”

“Cordova was in Siberia. They pulled a soldier from there before the boys got there and before Zemo arrived. That’s who was on the grounds the other day.”

“This is all information we already have, Ciara.”

Ciara nods. Does she tell Natasha about the missing piece of the puzzle here? The piece that she’s hoping she’s wrong about? Or does she hope for the best and ignore the threat that haunts her?

Natasha can clearly see what’s on the virtual monitors and Ciara makes no effort to hide it. 

“What are you looking for?”

“Any info on Gabriel Matthew Townsend. He should be listed as deceased.”

“Should be?” she questions.

“I hope to god I’m wrong, Nat. I pray that I’m fucking delusional and that the nightmares are just that.”

Natasha studies her, measuring up her words. 

“You think he’s alive.”

“I think he was here.”

Ciara knows Black Widow by reputation. She knows that not much gets to the woman, so to see her startled by what Ciara has just told her is unnerving at best. 

“Ciara, are you sure? The footage of that behemoth is a stark contrast to the records of your brother.”

“What happened with Steve, Natasha? How different is the scenario?”

“Steve is about four times his original size, you’re talking -”

“Almost ten. I know. Even if that isn’t Gabe - which I  **_need_ ** it to not be him - whoever that is is a threat to everyone and everything.”

“And if Cordova has control of them we’re all royally fucked. Because where there’s one…”

“There’s several,” Ciara says finishing Nat’s statement. “Like roaches.”

“How long will it take for you to work this thing up?”

“Twenty minutes or so and then anywhere from a few hours to several hours to let it run its course.”

“What do you need from me?” Natasha asks. 

“I need you to help make sure this shit doesn’t get disturbed while it runs and that I’m not disturbed while I create it for starters.”

“What about Bucky and Steve?”

“Do your best to keep them preoccupied. Bucky especially. The less they know the better. If this turns out to be nothing he’s going to think I’m losing my fucking mind and he won’t leave me alone long enough to take a piss.”

Natasha smirks.

“Consider it done. What about Clint?”

“He’s moderately useful. Three people watching this is better than two.”

She nods and grabs her phone. Ciara locates and installs the TOR browser and gets to work. Her goal is to submit DNS attacks on not only Hydra but a few other bases Cordova has been associated with in order to garner the intel she’s looking for. Or all their intel. Fuck them. May as well give Fury something back for letting her move in with Bucky here.

While the browser uploads she locates the VPN info they use at the base. She adds a couple of extensions to further the VPN capabilities and then pulls up TOR. 

“It's showtime,” she muses as she gets to work. 

“Hey, kitty cat,” Clint says walking into the room.

“I'm going to get some coffee. Do you want any?“ Natasha asks, directing the question to both Ciara and Clint. 

“Yeah,” they answer together. Clint in behind Ciara now, his hands on her shoulders looking at the screens with her. Natasha nods and leaves. 

“I got Nat's message that you were working on something. What is this?”

“All that shit in that dossier you have me is just that - shit. I know you looked at my file while Cordova used you as a babysitter, did you look at anyone else's?”

“There wasn't much I could gain access to without his consent and him standing over me, but I managed to sneak peaks here and there. It was nothing to do with your brother or your friends, though, kitty cat. I didn't know about them till you told us.”

She watches the screens flash and flicker as she types. Clint says he didn't find anything. Cordova is hiding somewhere. And someone is hunting them. 

“Who is this super powerful jackhole Cordova ran to?” she asks. 

  
  



	58. Cordova's Commanding Officer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> General Suzette Gwinner is as much of a serpent as the biblical one. Fitting considering the project she and Cordova are discussing.

“Exactly what do you expect to prove by releasing Project Adam?”

“She knows who it is and she’ll seek him out. They are the only two survivors of both serums. Cloning has failed, as you can see,” Cordova rasps pointing to the mutations that are being harvested as they walk through the dungenous lab. “But mating may still provide us the link we need.”

“If cloning Adam failed what makes you think mating he and Project LIllith will work? Eve failed. The offspring she bore tore through her in less than three months and subsequently had to be put out of its misery when it tried to eat some of the nurses.”

“Because Eve was running the left over serum our dear Doctor Zola had given James Barnes back in the day. What Project Adam is running is a Class B version of said serum where as Project Lillith is running the Class A version -”

“All of which have killed every single person you and Van Doran injected it into.”

“Except for two, General Gwinner, let us not forget that we have two that were successful.”

“Successful?” she spits. “Your Project Lillith is now rogue and currently being held under the watchful eye of Nicholas Fury. Your Project Adam is barely under your control. May I remind you he disobeyed the direct order to exterminate Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers with extreme predjudice?”

“There are flaws in the system, General, that I will grant you, but he will be much more serving and obediant once this is installed,” Cordova promises. He opens his shaky hand to show Gwinner a tiny microchip.

“You said that would not work on them, Cordova. You’re wasting my time -”

“The previous versions would not with Adam or with Lillith. This is a nanotech chip. Once installed it alters the brain making the subject nothing more than a mindless zombie willing and able to do our bidding. The only difference between our subjects and the zombies of Hollywood is ours our alive and breedable. Think of it, Suzette, a perfect army harvested from the combination of those two different serums. Even if cloning were to fail, Lillith will serve her purpose as a brood mare. Invitro fertilzation will allow us to force her to pump out litters of trainable, programable soldiers. The serum in her will continue to heal her until her body is completely spent. By that time we should have either figured out how to clone them or how to grow them from her harvested eggs.”

General Gwinner stops in her tracks and looks at Cordova evenly. Her tiny, pinprick eyes are black like a doll’s. She clasps her hands behind her back and mulls this over for a few moments. 

“You scrambled all the intel you had on Adam, Eve, and Lillith?” she asks.

“All of it. There is so much misinformation floating around Fury’s head right now they will never sort it out,” Cordova assures her. 

“And what will you do if she mates with Barnes again before we reclaim her?” Gwinner asks snidely. She’s testing Cordova and he knows he better have the right answer. 

“Dispose of it like we did the last one.”

She smiles fiendishly. It’s a smile that makes Cordova’s sallow skin crawl. 

“Or we keep it. If all else fails with she and Adam there may be hope to breed her with Barnes and still get viable soldiers.”

“You would be better served to mate her with Rogers. Zola’s serum -”

“Zola’s serum created soldiers that were nearly twice as strong as Erksine’s little boy Rogers. If that goddamn fool Zemo hadn’t come along we could have had more to work with. You were always short sighted when it came to contingency plans, Manuel,” she says chiding him like a bratty child. 

“There is no need to have a contingency plan, Suzette -” 

She glares at him. She doesn’t like him using her first name. He got away with it once, she won’t let him get away with it again.

“General,” he says correcting himself. “This is why I have dubbed them Adam and Lillith.”

“I’m am keenly aware of your biblical references,” she snaps. “But are you aware that Lillith and Adam never bore any children together. It was he and Eve, who is now dead.”

Cordova goes to refute her argument but they hear fast footfalls heading for them. 

“General Gwinner,” a soldier says running up to her and saluting her promptly. She nods at him.

“As you were,” she says. “Speak.”

“We have been hacked. There is an ongoing DNS attack underway and we are completely crippled within -”

“Contingency plans,” she snarls at Cordova. “Shut it down. All of it. Now. Take it all offline immediately. I don’t give a damn who is doing what. Take. It. Down. Now.”

 


	59. We Are A Fixed Point In Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciara reminds Bucky that changing one thing about their past may alter their present. They get that out of the way just in time for Clint to come collect them.

Bucky and Steve are walking back towards the compound having finished their run. 

“Did she say anything to you after I left?” Steve asks. 

“No. She was out like a light, kid. I mean dead out.”

“Did she say anything in her sleep before she woke up screaming?”

“If she did I didn’t hear her, Steve. We fooled around till we passed out,” Bucky tells him with a smirk. Steve rolls his eyes.

“You really want her to get pregnant right away?”

“I really want her to be happy, Steve. And...we don’t know if we can have kids…” Bucky stops walking, the weight of that statement hangs heavy on his heart. 

“Buck...I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” Steve says apologizing quickly. 

“It’s not a definite no. Bruce made mention of something to her yesterday and that’s why she was acting like that while you were there. I had to coax it out of her. If she can’t, she can’t. We can adopt. Can’t we?” he asks Steve looking for confirmation of this. With Bucky’s past record that might not be an option. He didn’t think about that when he made the suggestion to Ciara last night. 

“I’ll do my damndest to try and make that happen. But you said it wasn’t a certainty she can’t have kids, Buck. I mean...there’s still a chance there. Have you talked to Bruce to see what exactly transpired?”

“Not yet. I wasn’t going to march down there to see him when she was falling apart because she thought she’d failed me and I would leave her.”

“You won’t leave her.”

“No shit, kid. But she’s lost so much that she’s afraid she’s going to lose me, too.”

“In her defense, she did lose you. So did I. You lost yourself there for a while, too.”

“Thank you for waxing poetic, Steven,” Bucky grumbles. “I’m not going anywhere now, I’m not leaving her and if I do go someplace I’m taking you two shits with me.”

“I’m going to tell her you called her a shit,” Steve laughs as they step inside the building.

“You do and I’ll tell Natasha you keep a pair of her panties with you when you go on missions.”

“You son of a bitch.”

Bucky laughs. 

“How did you…I catch you going through my gear I will kick your ass,” Steve promises. 

“First off,” Bucky says opening the fridge and getting out the orange juice and then getting a large glass, “you  **_told_ ** me to go through your gear to get you that extra strap for the damn shield since you managed to shred one of the other ones.”

“For god’s sake,” Steve sighs. “How do you know they were Nat’s?”

“They’re too small for you and if they aren’t Nat’s you have bigger problems than me going through your gear, don’t you?”

“If what isn’t mine?” Natasha asks walking into the kitchen carrying three empty coffee cups. She fills two of them, dumps some milk and sugar in them and then waits for an answer while she stirs the contents together. 

“Nothing,” Bucky and Steve reply in unison.

“I hate it when you two do that. It just goes to prove you two are sharing a brain.”

“I have the better half,” Steve says playfully. She smirks.

“Here we go,” Bucky mutters.

“You sure about that, Rogers?” she asks in a low, seductive voice. 

“You need a cold shower,” Bucky says and then laughs at Steve when he gives Bucky a shitty look.

“Says the guy who can’t keep his hands off his girl,” Steve retorts. 

“Seventy years is a long time to wait and she’s a goddamn dynamo,” Bucky says with a shrug. Natasha looks at them in disbelief and shakes her head.

“Where are you going?” Steve asks Natasha as she starts to walk away.

“The meeting room.” She stops but doesn’t look back at them. “Ciara, Clint and I are working on something. She’s asked that she not be disturbed by either of you.”

“Working on what? Why can’t I see her? What the hell is going on?” Bucky demands, his good mood souring instantly. 

“I’m not sure I know exactly what she’s doing,” Natasha continues, “but I do know you’re a distraction - a good one, don’t get me wrong, Buck, but you’re a distraction to her nonetheless and she wants and needs time to concentrate on what she’s doing.”

“With Clint,” Bucky growls. Now Natasha turns around. 

“Buck, she’s not interested in Clint,” Steve says calmly. 

“No, but once again he’s privy to what she’s doing and I’m not.”

“Because he was there with her while she was under Cordova’s thumb. At least for some of what happened. He has insight into some of this shit, and she’s not in there having a good time, I promise you. Give her some time,” Natasha says softly. She turns around and walks away again. 

“What the hell are they doing in there?” 

“Nat and Clint were working on tracing Cordova’s whereabouts and past locations. Which means Ciara is working with them on that or…”

“Or she’s got something else up her sleeve. I wish she’d trust me enough to let me help,” Bucky says heavily. 

“She does trust you, and I’m sure there’s a good reason why she’s working on this with just Clint and Nat right now. You and Clint don’t always see eye to eye. Why don’t you go see Bruce?” Steve suggests. 

Bucky hands Steve the glass of orange juice he’d poured for himself. 

“Yeah. I’m going to go get showered first. I’ll either be there or in medical. If you hear something, kid…”

“You know I’ll find you, Buck.”

Bucky heads down the hall to his room, grabs some clothes and heads to the shower. He’s hurt that Ciara doesn’t want him around while she works. How the hell are they supposed to go on missions together if she can’t focus while he’s around? Why doesn’t she want to see him? He wonders if this need to be away from him ties back to her nightmare. Was she dreaming about him? About that night at the warehouse when he grabbed her by the throat….

Bucky turns the water over to cold, freezing his skin and making him shiver. The memory of that night is suddenly crystal clear to him. The fear in her eyes, the lack of recognition...she didn’t know who the hell he was at that point and he had very nearly killed her. He had chased her down and pinned her to the wall...she was clawing at his hand just like she had done last night to while she was in the throws of that nightmare. 

“Oh god, Ciara,” he whimpers. He doesn’t even notice the cold water anymore. He’s not convinced he wasn’t the source of her nightmare and that this isn’t her way of dealing with it, by shunning him for a little while and spending time with Clint. 

He finishes up and steps out of the shower feeling bitter and alone. She knows he didn’t mean to hurt her. She knows he worships the ground she walks on. Why punish him like this? He gets dressed and pulls his hair back into a ponytail. He doesn’t want to go see Bruce now. He doesn’t think he can stand to take any more hurt. 

He sulks back to his room. He’ll watch TV or maybe he’ll take a nap alone in his room by himself because Ciara would rather be away from him….

He opens the door to his room feeling sick and heartbroken.

“Natasha was right. You’re driving yourself crazy.”

Ciara is sitting in the middle of the bed with her head tilted looking at him. 

“Why are you mad at me? I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby -”

“Whoa! Whoa! Who said I was mad at you?” she interjects. “I’m not mad at you, Bucky. Come here,” she says opening her arms and beckoning him to her. He shuffles across the room like an upset child and crawls onto the bed. She pulls him into her arms and then in one swift motion she slides back against the headboard pulling him with her. He balls himself up against her, laying his face against her breasts and closing his eyes. He feels her pull the hair tie loose and then she gently runs her fingers through his damp hair. 

“I’m not mad, Bucky. Who told you I was mad?” she asks softly. She keeps playing with his hair with one hand and the other she holds him to her body. He puts his hand over hers and locks their fingers together. He feels like an asshole now. 

“Me. I just assumed you were because of last night.”

“What happened last night?” she asks sounding perplexed. 

“Was your nightmare about me, Ciara?” he asks trying to keep calm and nearly failing.

“Not this time, no. I have had nightmares about you, baby, but you weren’t in this one.”

She’s being honest at least. 

“Did I hurt you in those nightmares?” he dares to ask. 

“Not like you think, baby,” she answers in the same gentle tone. She brushes his hair from his temple with the lightest of touches. 

“I would never hurt you, Ciara,” he says as he fights the tears in his eyes. 

“Baby...what happened? What brought this on?” she asks. 

“I thought...I thought you were upset because your nightmare was about that night in the warehouse...I never meant to hurt you,” he says, his voice cracking as the tears come. She rests her palm on his head and holds him. 

“Shh...it’s alright, Bucky. You realize if you hadn’t attacked me and subsequently let me go I would never have looked up who the hell you were, would never have recognized you at the Pavilion and probably would have kept running even after you caught me.”

Bucky’s heart stops. He lifts his head and looks at her.

“I could have killed you,” he protests. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t because you knew who I was on some level. You remembered me. You let me go and my curiosity got the better of me.”

“Curiosity killed the cat -”

“Satisfaction brought her back, stop being difficult. This is a circular argument, Bucky. We could sit here for the rest of our lives and debate this. Yes, you could have killed me. Yes, you let me go. Yes, your actions resulted in me stealing a laptop, hacking some systems finding your files and seeing several rare sepia photographs of James Buchanan Barnes with his charming smile, chiseled jawline, debonair good looks...there were also pictures of what Hydra turned you into. I devoured everything I could about you. You can’t have this both ways, Bucky. Either you attacked me and I went back and  crashed into you or you didn’t and we never met.”

“Or I killed you and it never happened.”

“You are the most stubborn, belligerent…” she growls at him. “The nightmare last night wasn’t about you. The nightmares I’ve had previously were about you leaving me for someone else and taking our son with you or never finding you again, or you forgetting me entirely,” she says resuming her gentle tone. He puts his head back down and shuts his eyes. 

“I hate that it had to be like that, Ciara.”

“If you could change that incident would you? Knowing that it would impact where you and I are right now?”

He swallows the lump in his throat. 

“No,” he says hoarsely. She runs her fingers through his hair again and sighs deeply. 

“I woke up screaming because I was dreaming about Gabe. Again. He’s the one that had me by the throat last night, Bucky.”

Bucky’s eyes fly open and he sits up abruptly. He can see the anguish in her eyes. 

“Ciara…”

“It wasn’t just a dream, though,” she says forcing herself to continue. “And I’m scared of what that might mean.”

“What do you mean, baby?”

Clint throws open the door before she can answers. 

“You need to come see this,” he says quickly. 

Ciara takes Bucky’s hand and they follow Clint back to the meeting room.

“Get Steve,” she says as she and Bucky walk into the room. Natasha calls Steve on her phone. There are data streams pouring down the virtual monitors. 

“This one,” Clint says pointing to one of the screens. Ciara walks to the other side of the table and looks at the screen. She sits down and puts her hand over her mouth, tugging at her lower lip as she scrolls through the information being displayed.

“Sit with her, Buck. She’s going to need you,” Clint whispers before stepping back. Bucky sits down next to her. The information on the screen is all related to her brother and Bucky immediately knows this isn’t going to end well. 

Steve walks in a moment later, the room is blanketed by sullen silence. Clint and Natasha have already seen the information. Ciara gets up and starts checking the data on the other screens that is still coming in. 

“How many did you send out?” Natasha asks.

“Enough. But I have what I need. Goddammit,” she mutters and folds her arms over her chest. Bucky is reading the intel on the screen. Gabe isn’t dead. He’s very much alive.

“I know who was on the grounds hunting us,” Ciara says quietly, “and I know where to find him. Fury is going to want to hear this, too.”

“I was waiting to see when you’d notify me,” he says striding into the room followed by Hill and Bruce. “Care to divulge what you three have been up to for the last several hours?”

 


	60. Humans Are The Least Humane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can prepare the crew for what they're about to witness.

Ciara looks at the images on the screen. She can’t believe what she’s seeing. Her heart refuses to acknowledge what she’s seeing even though her mind has processed the images. 

Two pictures of Gabe. The one on the left is of him before they were taken captive, his face shining because he’s laughing. The one on the right doesn’t remotely resemble the same person except for the eyes. Those are Gabe’s eyes, the hazel-brown left eye, and the steel blue right eye. It’s a genetic abnormality that would make him stand out anywhere and the odds of the monster on the right having the same eye colors is damn near impossible. She knows this. She knows that it’s him, but her heart cannot accept that this is what Cordova and Van Doran turned him into. This mutated mass of muscle whose face is distorted, widened, bulging as if someone stuffed compacted muscles into is the hollows of his face. 

“Ciara.” 

That’s Bucky’s voice, calling her back from the edge where she’s teetering. They lied. They said her brother was dead. The truth is far more horrifying and gutwrenching than that. 

“Who is that, Agent?” Fury asks in a slightly less abrasive voice. 

“My brother. At least he was. Cordova said he was dead. He was supposed to have died from cardiac arrest while in prison. The file Clint gave me shows he dies of asphyxiation.”

“Clearly he isn’t dead,” Fury muses looking at the images. “This is Cordova’s handiwork or Van Doran’s?”

“Both? Neither? I don’t know. What I do know,” she says pulling up a different screen, “is that there were two serums, completely different from one another. I’m A. Gabe is B. And this is the end result of both.”

“The casualty list is...goddamn,” Steve mutters as Natasha scrolls the screen down. 

“Countless,” Ciara says. “For both serums.”

“There’s more,” Clint says and exhales quickly. “It gets even uglier.”

“Uglier?” Bruce repeats looking at the images on the screen and shaking his head. 

“They pulled a female from Siberia before Zemo, Steve and Buck got there,” Ciara begins. She sees Steve and Bucky look at each other. One escaped, her brother, they knew that. To hear that there was a second one pulled out unnerves them both. 

“That’s not possible,” Hill counters, “Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes destroyed the others. There were none left.”

“Open your ears and listen, Hill,” Ciara says planting her hands on the table and leaning forward to glare at the woman. “They were removed BEFORE those three arrived. Gabe and a female. One intact female.”

“Intact? You mean she was…” Bruce says motioning with his hand for someone to finish the sentence. 

“A mate. They were renamed Project Adam and Eve,” Ciara explains. 

“Why?” Steve asks. “Even if you were to breed super soldiers that would take decades…”

“For a normal pregnancy,” Ciara says closing one panel and opening another. “What’s the one thing all the serums have in common, Bruce?”

“The serum has regenerative properties, producing and regenerating healthy cells in rapid succession. It’s possible that combining the DNA of two healthy serum carrying adults would speed up the gestation process, but that’s...there’s no viable evidence, there’s been no testing,” Bruce says glancing at Bucky and Ciara quickly. 

“Cloning would be faster,” Fury muses.

“It would be if the clones were viable and stable,” Ciara says pointing to another screen. Clint presses a key and a video feed starts to play. 

_ “Day twelve. Subject XB. Now at twelve days old the clone of Project Adam has developed much faster than anticipated. Muscle and skeletal formations are in constant ebb and flow. The feeding tube remains in at all times supplying a high nutrient liquid diet with very little waste. Brain function is that of a healthy seventeen year old male.” _

The camera pans around the incubation chamber they have this boy who looks like a teenager confined in.

_ “Subject XC is also showing faster than anticipated development. Potential mating of the Project Eve clone should begin in the next seven days.” _

The camera pans around to a female in the same type of incubation chamber. 

“Jesus Christ…” Bucky mutters. Ciara looks over at him. She can see he recognizes the female’s face, not because he knows the clone, but because he knows the donor or has at least come into contact with her.

The screen begins to flash and alarms begin to blare in the video. 

_ “Day twelve...both XB and XC have begun to seizure. XB is convulsing even after administering anti-epileptic medicine. XC is….” _

There’s a horrified scream from the background. The camera circles shakily over to the chamber of the female just in time to watch her body violently explode. The camera swings wildly back to the male clone who is convulsing so violently his muscles are separating from his skin and bones and falling away in pieces. The video screen goes black but they can see it’s still running. A moment later it resumes.

_ “As with clone series A-XA the failing point is on or before the twelfth day.” _

The camera now pans out to show scores of giant cylindrical glass tubes containing the bodies of their failed experiments. 

_ “Back to the drawing board.” _

“Cloning failed. So they intend on breeding more -”

“They tried,” Ciara says cutting Fury off. “Clint, go get some air,” she says softly. He’s already turning green and Ciara knows at least one or two of the others will have the same reaction. She keys up the video folds her arms over her chest and lowers her head. She doesn’t want to watch this again, she can barely stand listening to it. 

_ “Project Eve is in labor. Current rate of gestation has her at forty weeks, but impregnation was done less than twelve weeks ago. Eve is fully dilated -  _ **_what the fuck is that?_ ** _ ” _

The camera focuses on a slightly older looking version of the clone they just witnessed exploding. Her legs are in the stirrups, her feet secured to them, and the rest of her body is secured by leather straps as she screams and thrashes. Her stomach is enormous, the skin stretched so tight it looks like it’s thinned out. 

“What the hell…” 

Ciara looks up when Bucky speaks. She knows what they’re seeing. The hand imprints against Eve’s stomach wall pushing hard enough to stretch and distort her belly more. 

_ “She’s bleeding out! What the hell is happening here? Push on her stomach! Get the goddamn forceps!” _

Eve’s screams and cries for them to get it out of her drown out whatever else is being said for the moment. Ciara looks away again. 

_ “What the fuck…” _

_ “Doctor! What is that  _ **_thing??_ ** _ ” _

Ciara hears the guttural cries of Eve as their creation begins to destroy her. She hears the shredding of flesh and screams of the horrified staff in the video as it tears itself from Eve’s body in a growling, gurgling birth cry. She sees Hill, Bruce and Bucky all make a hasty exit from the room. Steve and Fury stare in abject horror at the screen. Clint had tossed his cookies in the trashcan when he’d seen this. Ciara had barely made it to the bathroom before she’d done the same. 

Not only is Gabe a monster, but the odds of she and Bucky procreating anything less than a nightmare vision of Cronenberg proportions seems very, very unlikely. 

“Turn that shit off, Natasha,” Fury orders, but his voice lacks its normal conviction and steadiness now. He looks at Ciara who can only match his gaze for so long before she has to look away. She sits down heavily in one of the chairs. 

“This fucking insanity has to stop,” Fury says trying to find his strength. Steve sits next to Ciara while Fury begins to pace. 

“Go retrieve the others, Natasha. This shit ends now,” Fury orders. “You two stay put. I’m going to make a few calls.”

Steve waits till he’s out of the room before he speaks. 

“Ciara, I’m sorry about what’s happening.”

“Go check on Bucky, Steve. If he’s having the same reaction I did he’ll be in the bathroom down the hall.”

  
  



	61. Visual Imagery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The horrors of what they've seen seem to be taking a toll on everyone.

Bucky rinses his mouth out with the cold water from the bathroom sink again. The imagery won’t go away. He can’t force the video to stop playing in his mind. He gags and splashes the cold water on his face.

“Buck.”

“Steve,” he groans. He sees the reflection of the door opening in the mirror. Steve is pale. He looks to see if Ciara is with him, but she’s not.

“You left her?”

“She sent me to check on you,” Steve says quietly. “Apparently she had the same reaction as you.”

“What if that happens to her, Steve? What if…”

“What if a lot of things, Buck. She’s probably thinking the same thing. And that’s her brother they’re cloning or tried to. That thing would have been…” Steve stands next to Bucky and splashes his own face with the cold water. The shit the two of them have seen pales in comparison to this. 

“She’s not going to want to try now,” Bucky sighs. He puts his arms on the cold marble counter and then puts his head down. “She’s not going to want to even consider trying.”

“You don’t know that and none of us know if that’s what will happen. Eve isn’t Ciara.”

“Eve has the same formula I do, Steve.”

Steve doesn’t respond and Bucky is sure it’s because there’s no rebuttal to that. 

There’s a faint knock on the door. Steve and Bucky look at each other. Steve turns the water off. 

“Yeah,” Bucky calls. 

“Are you two okay?”

“It’s alright, doll. You can come in if you want,” Bucky says. The door remains closed. 

“Shit,” Bucky hisses. She’s going to panic and seal herself off from him because of this. 

“Ciara,” Steve calls. Bucky opens the door, but she’s already walking away. 

“Ciara Grace Barnes, get back here,” Bucky orders. For the first time, she disobeys him and keeps walking. He and Steve trot after her. 

“Ciara Grace Barnes?” Steve questions. 

“It’s going to be her last name at some point here in the hopefully near future,” Bucky responds. She disappears back into the meeting room. Bucky stops. There’s so much shit going on right now and she’s bottling up, making it impossible for him to tell if all of this is bothering her, if it’s the video, if it’s Gabe, if it’s something else…

“Do me a favor, kid, will ya?”

“Name it, Buck.”

“I need a dozen pink and white roses, a bottle of white wine, a good box of chocolates -”

“By good, I’m assuming you don’t want that stuff from the grocery store,” Steve says looking at his phone. 

“Right. And I need two really thick steaks. I don’t want something dainty like a filet, either.”

“Prime rib?”

“Perfect. Can you get me this stuff? I need to sit with her and I want to surprise her. She needs a break, I need a break, shit you need a break -”

“I’m not joining you, Buck. Anytime you two are alone for more than thirty seconds you end up naked and humping.”

“Seventy years is a long time to go, Stevie. You at least didn’t know what you were missing until recently.”

“Jerk.”

The two of them are silent now. 

“I need to stay with her, Steve. That shit…” Bucky doesn’t finish, he just drags his hand down his face. 

“I know. Let see if I can get this shit called in for you.”

“Fury’s still in his office. I just sent Maria to him,” Natasha says walking up to them. “Are you two okay?”

“Not really,” Bucky admits, “but if she’s dealing with it then I need to deal with it.”

“She’s not dealing with it, Buck. She’s just...there,” Natasha tells him. He walks past her and into the meeting room. Clint and Bruce are looking at the images of Gabe and talking quietly amongst themselves. Ciara is in a chair on the other side of the room, tugging at her lip. Her eyes are vacant. There is no spark, no shine, no emotion, just lifeless gray color. 

He takes a seat next to her and looks at the screen that seems to have her attention. He’s not sure she’s actually looking at anything. He takes her hand from her mouth and laces their fingers together. She slowly turns her head to look at him. 

“Don’t bury it, Ciara. Don’t try and hide it,” he tells her, keeping his tone gentle and warm. She looks back at the screens and shakes her head. 

“You’re all I have left, James. All I have in this world. Gabe is…”

“Don’t, Ciara. If that is him, he’s alive and there’s a chance we can save him. We don’t know what they’re using to control him, do we?”

She doesn’t respond for a moment.

“When does it end?” she asks so quietly he barely hears her. 

“I don’t know, doll. Eventually, I hope. The sooner we find Cordova, the better.”

“It isn’t just Cordova. He’s in league with someone of authority. Fury is trying to pull favors and track down his own leads. They caught my DNS attack and locked me out before I was able to pull everything out.”

“We’ll find him, Ciara,” Bucky promises her. They see Steve walk into the room followed a moment later by Natasha and Maria Hill. 

“Director Fury is working on leads to track down where Cordova and Project Adam -”

“His name is Gabriel,” Ciara says fiercely. Maria gives her a cold look. Bucky squeezes Ciara’s hand. 

“With the intel you’ve gathered, Agent, we are a little closer to locating Cordova and whomever he’s working with or for. Do you have any additional information? Anything that wasn’t gathered from the files in here?” Hill questions. 

“No, what you see is what I have,” she answers in a bland tone. Bucky knows she’s not being truthful about that, but he also knows that if she’s withholding information there’s a damn good reason for it. He trusts her and he hopes she trusts him. 

“No one is to leave until further instructions are given. And no more hacking. Retaliation is expected at this point.”

She leaves as soon as she finishes relaying Fury’s directive. 

“Clint and I are going to finish tracing Cordova’s previous hideouts. There’s a chance he may be revisiting one of them now,” Natasha says. Bucky feels his phone vibrate. 

“Anyone with major military connections at any of those places?” Ciara asks. While she’s distracted with Clint and Natasha, Bucky looks at his phone. It’s a message from Steve telling him the order for everything he asked for has been placed and is on its way to the compound now. He looks over at Ciara who has her hands on her hips and is in a heated discussion with Clint right now. 

Bucky’s phone vibrates again.

_ How do you want to do this?  _

_ It’s a surprise for her. I need to keep her occupied while I set this up. Out of my room, out of the kitchen. Suggestions? _

_ I’ll see if Nat and I can keep her in here for a while. Go do what you need to.  _

_ You’re a godsend, Stevie. _

_ Shutup and go, jerk. _

“Ciara,” he says getting out of his chair and walking over to her.

“He has to be somewhere on the planet, Clint. Last I heard the Nazi moonbase was destroyed by space pirates.”

“Space pirates and a Nazi moonbase,” Clint mutters. Ciara isn’t listening to Clint, she’s focused on Bucky and he couldn’t be happier. Well, he could be if this nonstop bullshit would finally come to an end…

“I need to go lay down, doll, this was a bit much…”

“Oh god, Bucky,” she says worriedly, “I’m sorry -”

“Don’t, baby, it’s alright. It’s just making my head spin a little. I can stay if you need me to.”

“No, it’s alright, baby,” she says caressing his face. He can see the concern in her eyes as if she’s forgotten everything else but him. He leans into her touch, takes her hand and kisses her palm. 

“I can wrap this up -”

“Ciara, we need to try and work through this,” Natasha says entering their conversation. Ciara gives her a harsh look. 

“I’ll be fine,” Bucky promises. 

“You already are,” she says softly. She forces herself to smile for him. He pulls her into his arms and hugs her. She responds in kind, he can feel her fingers in his hair at the base of neck. They let go, he kisses her softly and Clint and Natasha immediately start badgering her again. Bucky takes that as his cue to leave. He passes by Steve who gives him a quick nod. 

Bucky gets a text about the time he walks into the kitchen. Wanda signed for the goods, she’s on her way to the kitchen now. He sees Wanda walking in carrying the delivery box.

“Special delivery,” she says with a sweet smile. 

“You’re a sweetheart,” he says taking the box from her. 

“I see chocolates, a bottle of wine, some very pretty flowers...are those steaks, James?” Wanda says playfully. 

“They are, little one,” he says pulling them out and examining them. 

“She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?” Wanda asks and then sniffs the flowers. 

“She means the world to me, Wanda. This is something special for her.”

Wanda looks pleased and impressed. 

“You, James Barnes, are a hopeless romantic. Can I help?”

Bucky considers this for a moment. 

“You want to help, little one?”

“Of course I do. Romance isn’t dead and I want you to help make this perfect for her.”

“Alright, let’s get started.”


	62. Bucky's Third Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With all that's happened and Ciara taking the brunt of the trauma they've had to see, Bucky decides it's time for their third date and makes every effort to spoil his girl.

Ciara is still in the meeting room with Natasha, Steve, and Clint. They have a map spread out over the table marking locations they know Cordova has been and trying to triangulate with any other intel Ciara had been able to hack about locations, about Project Adam and Eve, and where Cordova had sent Ciara on missions. The map looks like it has the measles. 

Ciara is tired, she’s upset, she feels sick, but most of all she’s worried about Bucky. Seeing this fucking horror show, knowing that there is another living super soldier under the control of Cordova and his intent is to make more...knowing that what happened to Eve may happen to her...he was pale and miserable looking when he told her he wanted to go lie down for a while. With all he’s been through adding this clusterfuck to the mix isn’t helping his stability any. She wanted to give him peace, she’s given him anything but. 

“Are we done?” she asks finally. “This is a fucking waste of time. He’s been all over the goddamn globe.”

“There has to be a pattern somewhere, something we’re missing,” Clint mutters. 

“We’ve been looking at this thing for so long we can’t see it, Clint,” Ciara says tiredly. “Steve’s half asleep, Natasha’s eyes are red and you and I have pointed to the same fucking location in Luxemburg at least eight times in the last ten minutes.”

Steve picks his head up from the table and looks at them with weary eyes. Natasha slumps down into a chair next to him. 

“Yeah, I’m done. We need to walk away for a while,” Clint agrees. “Or longer. Reconvene tomorrow.”

“Thank Christ,” Natasha mutters. 

Ciara is only remotely aware of Steve playing on her phone as she stretches and goes to leave. 

“Buck’s in the kitchen,” Steve says from behind her suddenly. She jumps. 

“Christ, Steve,” she hisses. 

“Kitchen. Go,” he says nodding towards the kitchen. He has this look on his face that scares Ciara. She runs to the kitchen. 

The dining room is dimly lit and there are candles on the table, the flames dancing gently. There are wine glasses half filled and a bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket. The table is set for two, the extension leaf has been removed making the table smaller and cozier looking. She smells steak. 

“Hey, beautiful.”

Bucky’s voice is just above a seductive growl. He emerges from the kitchen, his blue eyes catching the light of the candles. He pulls out a chair for her to sit.

“Sit, baby. Tonight is for us.”

“Bucky...what the hell?” It’s all she can think of to say. He kisses her cheek and gives her that charming smile that continually wins her over. 

“Have some wine, I’ll be right back,” he promises. He vanishes into the kitchen again and when he comes back he’s carrying two plates laden with food. That’s where the smell of steak is coming from. She’s salivating, damn near ravenous from the smell, her need to eat making her forget everything for the moment. 

He puts the plate down in front of her and then takes a seat across the table. He smiles grandly and nods toward the plate.

“How does it look?” he asks. She picks up on how excited and anxious he is and her heart skips a beat. He did this for her and he wants her to be pleased. He made steak, mashed potatoes and bacon wrapped scallops. 

“Bucky...I don’t know what to say…”

“Try it, baby. I made the steak how I like it -”

“Rare?” she asks in hope.

“Medium rare, doll. I’m sorry,” he says sounding disappointed and looking down. 

“Just how I like it,” she tells him. There is no goddamn way she’s going to piss on his parade when he put in all this effort. He looks up and she gives him a loving smile. He lights up.

“Try it,” he says again, the eagerness back in his voice. She feels like he’s too far away, even though the table has been made smaller she feels like he’s a million miles from her. 

“Ciara?”

She picks up her plate and carries it over to sit closer to him, dragging her chair behind her. He grins.

“You’re too far away,” she says with a shrug as she sits back down. He takes her hand and kisses her wrist. 

“Please, for god’s sake -”

“Okay! Okay!” she laughs. She cuts into the steak and takes a bite. It’s closer to rare than medium rare and it’s absolutely perfect. The bite all but melts in her mouth. He’s seasoned it perfectly. This man is a fucking god.

“Is it that good?” he asks playfully.

“Jesus fuck it’s delicious, handsome,” she says diving in for more. He laughs and tears into his own steak. 

“How are the scallops? I didn’t know if you’d like them and I think I may have overcooked them,” he says apologetically. She cuts into one and pops a piece into her mouth. He pours more wine into her glass as she unintentionally purrs. He’s very happy with her reactions based on the look on his face and the gleam in his eyes. 

“I thought you were going to lay down?” she asks as she runs the last bite of steak thru the tiny bit of mashed potatoes left on her plate. 

“I didn’t want you to know about what I was planning,” he says emptying the last of the wine into their glasses. “Not quite the classy third date we should have, but -”

“Bucky, this was perfect. This was…” she can’t find the words. He runs his fingers over her cheek. 

“There’s more. Finish your wine,” he says getting up, “I’m going to clean up.”

“Let me help,” she says getting up with him. He shakes his head no. 

“Finish the wine, doll...stop arguing,” he says trying not to laugh at the look she’s giving him. 

“I’m not arguing, you are. Let me help, baby. You made dinner, the least I can do is clean up,” she says trying to sway him. He holds his ground, pulling her chair out and pointing to it. 

“Ciara, I will take care of the mess. I won’t be long. Drink your wine, relax. Don’t run off, okay?”

“You’re an ass,” she gripes sitting back down and huffing at him. He kisses her head, takes their plates and goes into the kitchen. She debates on chasing after him but decides against it. He asked her to stay put, and god knows she’s defied him on more than a few occasions when he’s asked her to do something. She finishes up the wine in her glass just as he comes back. 

“That was fast,” she marvels. 

“I’ve got the rest. Go on,” she hears Wanda say. Bucky looks over his shoulder. 

“You sure?”

“Go on, you two,” she says. 

“Thank you,” Ciara and Bucky tell her. She nods. Bucky takes Ciara’s hands and pulls her up from her chair and into his arms. 

“I reserved our bathroom.”

“You... **_reserved_ ** the bathroom,” she repeats. He grins and nods.

“Hot shower together and then back to our room.”

She smiles and lets him lead her to the bathroom he seems so fond of. He’s already got towels, washcloths and their clothes ready to go.

“I got you something from the store. It’s not like your perfume, but,” he says handing her a bottle of body wash, “maybe you’ll like it?”

“Coconut milk and jasmine petals,” she says reading the label. He’s got that hopeful look on his face again. He’s pulling out all the stops to give her what he thinks she wants or what he thinks she’ll like. She’s so moved by his actions she’s struggling to keep her shit together. She opens the bottle and the scent of coconut permeates the air along with a softer, fainter scent of jasmine mixed with it. She inhales the scent again, closing her eyes and marveling at how nice it smells. 

“Is it okay?” The concern permeates the question. She opens her eyes, puts the body wash on the counter, cups his face in her hands and presses her lips to his. 

“I love it. I like how it smells. It’s nice,” she says letting him go and making him smell the body wash, too. He laughs a little. 

“Take a shower with me,” he says, his eyes shining brightly. He pulls his shirt off and then makes a show of undoing his belt. 

“You’re a tease,” she tells him, leaning against the counter, “but by all means, continue your show.”

He starts laughing so much he can’t focus on what he was doing. She ends up helping him out of his clothes because she can’t control herself and she needs to see this man naked. 

He stands stark naked in front of her and she can feel the heat radiating from her skin, and the desire ignite in her. He tilts his head and smiles knowingly. Of course he’s aware of what he does to her. 

She strips hastily and he’s all over her. He moves like lightning, picking her up by her legs and pressing her against the cold tile wall before he sinks himself into her heated core and starts thrusting into her hard and fast. 

“Goddamn...so wet…” he growls, grinding into her faster, driving deeper and making her whine and then gasp as she comes. He grunts and she feels him pump a few more times before she feels him pulsing inside her. He rests his head against her shoulder while he catches his breath. Ciara holds him, her legs still locked around his midsection, her arms around his neck as she runs her fingers between his shoulder blades. 

“Not in my original plan, but, if it was good for you…” he says looking up at her. It’s a question. He’s looking for validation he’s managed to please her. 

“Always, handsome. You know you’re the best.”

He beams at the compliment. He kisses her and then helps ease her down till she’s on her own two feet again. He grabs their shower supplies and the clean up together, Bucky insisting on washing her body and taking the utmost care in doing so. They wash each other’s hair, hands groping at each other until the hot water starts to give out. 

“Ready to go to our room, beautiful?” he asks as they step out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his hips and then starts to dry his hair. She watches him in fascination, only haphazardly paying attention to what she’s doing. His muscles ripple and flex as he moves and it’s mesmerizing. 

He sees her watching and stops, his eyes giving her a questioning look. 

“Doll?”

“You’re a work of art, handsome. You’re perfect,” she tells him. She sees him blush a little. 

“Not so much,” he says looking at his left arm. He touches the scars where metal meets flesh. She wraps a towel around her body and one around her hair and puts her hands on his chest. 

“I don’t see what you see, James. I can’t. I see you and I see this perfect heart, this magnificent soul, this work of art that sends all of my senses careening into overdrive. I see the man I love.”

He pulls her into his arms and hugs her so tight he nearly forces all the air from her lungs. 

“This is why I wanted to do this for you, Ciara. I love you,” he whispers. He lets her go after a few moments and looks at her shyly. 

“You know I’ve loved you since the day we met. It won’t change,” she promises. 

“I have more for you in the bedroom.”

“More what?” she asks, perplexed at his shift in direction. He smiles.

“The rest of our date,” he says with a smile. “It’s a damn shame we have to get dressed.”

This makes her laugh. 

“We can be naked when we get back to the room, but you better make sure to lock the goddamn door.”

“Consider it done,” he says happily. They get dressed and Bucky takes the brush from her hands and brushes her hair out, refusing to let her do it herself. She humors him because it’s what he wants to do. 

They head back to the room and Bucky stops her just as they get to the door. 

“Close your eyes, baby.”

“Why?” she asks suspiciously. 

“Please. Just trust me,” he replies. She skews an eyebrow at him, he smiles, and she does as he asks. She hears the door open and he carefully guides her into the room. She hears the door shut behind them. 

“Open your eyes, Ciara.”

“Oh, Bucky….” she breathes. There are roses on the bed, laid out stem to blossom in the shape of a giant heart. In the center are more roses in a vase sitting in a small box to keep them upright. Inside the box with the roses is an assortment of chocolates. He comes up behind her and puts his arms around her waist. 

“I know roses are a little meh, but they smell pretty and they remind me of you. I wanted to cuddle and eat dessert with you while we watched a movie I picked out for us. Do you like chocolates, baby?”

She’s so overcome with all that he’s done she can’t speak. Even if she could, there are no words to express how touched by all of this she is. 

“Ciara?” She can hear the fear in his voice. She turns around to look at him, and the tears start to fall from her eyes. 

“Thank you,” is all she can manage to say as she throws her arms around him and hugs him as hard as she can. She gets an  **_oof_ ** from him when she does so and lets up on the intensity of the hug. He rubs her back and buries his face in the nape of her neck.

“Does this mean you’re pleased?” he asks softly. 

“The only thing that will make me happier is helping me clear off the bed so we can get comfortable.”

He lifts his head and gives her a grand smile. 

“Careful with the roses, they still have some thorns,” he warns her as they gather them up and carefully put them back in the vase. Bucky moves some stuff off of his dresser to put the vase and then puts the box full of chocolates on the chair. 

“Ready to watch a movie and cuddle?” he asks. 

“Lay on the bed, baby,” she tells him. He furrows his brow. She locks the door and starts to strip. His eyes light up and he pulls his clothes off, then gets on the bed. 

“Naked cuddles,” he says playfully. 

“Not quite,” she says in a low purr. His eyes widen. She crawls on the bed and slides his legs further apart and maneuvers herself between his muscular thighs. 

“Baby, you don’t have to...tonight is for you -” he inhales deeply as she runs her tongue over his cock, and he grabs handfuls of the blankets when she does it again. 

“I want to,” she tells him and goes back to licking him slowly. He moans when she cups his balls and tugs gently on his sack. 

“I was...I wanted...to go...oh god...go down on you…” he pants as she swallows him and works her way up back up with measured slowness and resistance. 

“Hmmmm….” she hums, her lips vibrating on his cock. He gasps and yanks up on the blankets, arching up and nearly gagging her. 

“Again...please...sweetfuckinggod….” he moans. She goes down again and hums as she comes back up, keeping her lips pressed firmly to him, holding that suction on him. He starts to writhe and whine, alternating between pleas to do it again and moans of incomprehensible nonsense. He moans loudly, she feels his body go rigid and he comes hard and hot at the back of her throat. She waits for him to relax before taking her lips off of him. He’s panting, looking at her like he’s completely spent, but there’s a huge, satisfied smile on his face. She licks him clean, watching him twitch and groan as she does.

“You enjoy that way too much,” he grumbles. 

“Giving you head? You seem to enjoy it, too.”

She sees his eyes flash and then he’s flipped their positions so that she’s on her back and he’s on top of her. 

“My turn,” he purrs and starts kissing her body as he works his way down to her soaked heat. His lips just  **_know_ ** where to kiss to make her temperature rise and her body crave more. 

“You’re dripping, doll,” she hears him say. He sounds thoroughly amused. He runs his fingers over her and she tries to grind into his hand looking for more. He grins and buries his face into her, licking her, his tongue doing obscene things to her down there and making her squirm and thrash on the bed. She can hear him chuckling from between her legs as he keeps going. She runs her fingers into his thick, dark hair and he keeps tormenting her making her lose her mind. 

“Want to finish like this or…”

“So help me god if you don’t do something….” she threatens. He grins and licks his lips. He goes back down on her with a renewed intensity and she comes a few minutes later nearly screaming his name. The fire in his eyes tells her he’s not done. She slinks back up over her, kissing her body as he goes. When he gets to her lips she stops him and forces him to roll onto his back. He looks up at her in surprise and then grins. 

“Alright, doll,” he says displaying his cocky attitude, “have at it.”

She mounts him, sinking slowly down onto his thick cock, watching the way his breath hitches when she has him inside her completely. She places her hands on his chest and runs her nails over his skin just hard enough to leave raised welts. He puts his hands on her hips and squeezes them, a vain attempt to get her to grind on him. She gives him a pleasant smile and he frowns at her and growls. She leans back, taking her sweet time, and he shifts underneath her, trying to get her to do something other than tease him. She grins fiercely and snaps forward, rocking her hips and rolling herself back and forth on him in quick bursts. He gasps, but then his attention is diverted to her bouncing tits and he focuses on those or tries to. He pinches her nipples making her exhale hard and deep and she increases her speed and movements, making him plant his hands back on her hips to hold onto her.  His eyes close and he starts rutting up into her looking for his release. His clamps down hard on her suddenly, groans and she can feel him emptying himself into her once more. She waits for him to quiet down before she slowly starts to rock on him again. He grimaces, his sensitive cock making him twitch as she continues. 

“Want some help so you stop torturing me, baby?” he asks and then grins. He slides his hand over her pelvic bone to her clit and rubs in time with her rocking on him. Her head falls back and he starts moving faster, applying a little more pressure. She pleads for him to keep going, and he obliges her until she hits her climax, falling over into his arms. 

“I can’t feel my legs,” she mumbles from his shoulder. She feels him chuckle. 

“You don’t need to. All you need to do is relax and cuddle with me, doll.”

 


	63. New Divide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Communication breaks down.

Ciara wakes up to Bucky scrambling from the bed and then heaving up dinner into the wastebasket. This is the third night this week and probably the twentieth time in the last three weeks he’s woken up like this. She knows why he’s upset. She knows what’s haunting him because it’s haunting her and it’s kept the two of them from being intimate since their third date. 

Eve’s demise terrifies them both. 

Not even Bruce could waylay their fears, only saying that there were no guarantees as to what would happen if Ciara became pregnant. 

“Even if I were morally and ethically corrupt to the point I’d consider uniting your DNA in a petridish...no, there’s just no way of knowing with absolute certainty what will happen. Nothing may happen, and that’s obviously what we would all hope for, but…”

Bruce’s inability to give either of them the assurance they needed inadvertently cooled things between them. Ciara still wanted Bucky to touch her, to love her, but he was reluctant, afraid. Any intimacy they attempted ended up soured and with them unsatiated and ill-tempered with one another. And Bucky’s nightmares...Jesus Christ, they were so bad. Ciara woke up one night to him crying in his sleep, begging for Bruce to  **_‘save her’_ ** . She had let him go till her heart was in a million pieces and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She woke him up and he’d jumped out of the bed dazed and ready to fight. It took him almost five minutes to get his head cleared, even with Ciara talking to him calmly and begging him to let her hold him. 

Other nights he would wake up with his hands clamped over his mouth to keep from screaming, the bed soaked with his sweat. Most of the time, though, he woke up with barely enough time to get to the bathroom before he’d vomit. He’d not made it a few times which led them to both agree to just use the goddamn waste can. 

Right now she can barely make out his silhouette, as he dry heaves over the can. She’s afraid to reach out to him, the rift between them growing larger every day. 

“Bucky,” she calls to him softly. She hears him sigh shakily. 

“Ciara.”

“Do you want me to go get you something to drink?”

“No. No, I’ll go get it,” he answers. The pet names have stopped. There is no  _ baby _ or  _ doll _ now, just Ciara, just her proper name. He gets up and walks out of the room without another word. Ciara sits up and pulls her knees up to her chest. This wasn’t the fairytale ending she wanted for either of them. She only ever wanted Bucky to be happy, and he’s more miserable now than he was before she came back into his life. She wonders - not for the first time - if he would have been better off without her in the end. 

Ciara lays down, curls up into a ball and drifts back to sleep. 

When she wakes up, Bucky isn’t there. His side of the bed is cold, he’s been gone for a while. 

“Or he never came back,” she mutters to herself. She gets up, grabs clothes and sees the wastebasket. He never came back, because it’s still sitting with last night’s dinner in it. She takes it with her to clean it out in the bathroom. This is the first time he’s not come back to bed. This is the first time since they had that big fight that she’s woken up alone. She has a very bad feeling it won’t be the last and that hurts. 

She dwells on this, on everything that’s happened while she’s in the shower. She thinks about all that she’s done, all that she could have done, all that she could do. All of it centers around Bucky. He deserves to be happy. He’s wanted kids for so long...adoption isn’t what he wants. He resents not being able to have kids. He resents her. After all this…

She looks at the ring on her left hand. She had dared to have hope that things would work out. 

She gets dressed and goes back to their shared room. He’s not there. She’s not surprised. She considers going looking for him, but if he had any desire to see her he would have made the effort to do so. She’s chased him long enough. She’s hounded his steps, stalked him, watched over him, loved him, lied for him, denied herself for him…

She looks at the ring and then looks at herself in the mirror on the wall. She hears the door open and Bucky steps into the room.

“Hey. I’m going to go get a shower,” he says stepping around her to get his own things. He makes every effort to avoid coming into contact with her. She steps out of his way and sits on the chair. 

“You didn’t come back to bed last night,” she hears herself say. It’s her heart talking, trying to grasp at whatever thread of this relationship is left now. 

“I know.”

He hesitates like he’s about to say something else, decides against it and leaves. 

She decides to give him the benefit of the doubt, so she waits to see if he comes back. She watches TV and paces the room for two hours and there has been no sign of Bucky. She goes to the training room. He’s not there. She goes to the kitchen, he’s not there either. She gets something to eat, checks on the status of Cordova’s whereabouts, finds out absolutely nothing because Fury and Hill are keeping their secrets, and heads back to the room. She sits and waits for Bucky to come back going over what she’ll say to him in order to try and smooth things over between them. Working on what possible rebuttals he may have and coming up with solutions for them. Trying to find a way to get rid of this growing sense of emptiness in her. 

By eight o’clock that night he hasn’t set foot in that room. He has made no effort to come find her. She heads to the kitchen first and then searches everywhere else. She finds him in the large den watching TV. There’s a pillow and blanket next to Bucky on the couch. The pain in her is so all-consuming that she stops being able to feel anything. 

 


	64. Your Effort Comes Too Late

“Here. I found them in the closet. Why the hell are you two sleeping outside anyway?” Bucky asks Wanda. She smiles. 

“To fall asleep under the stars. He’s never been camping, I figured this would be a good way to start getting him used to it.”

Bucky grins. 

“It’s a good way to throw your back out if you sleep on a rock,” he tells her. 

“Negative. So negative. What about you? Are you sleeping on the couch again tonight? Don’t think no one has noticed, James.”

He moves his mouth to say something but has nothing to actually say. She studies him for a few moments and then shakes her head in disappointment. 

“She loves you. She worships the ground you walk on. She didn’t ask for that shit any more than you did. She didn’t ask for **_any of this_ ** any more than you did, James. She’s a victim, too.”

“I’m afraid of what will happen if she gets pregnant. If I get her pregnant. That...thing...it’s all I see now, Wanda. I don’t hate her, I love her dearly. I just…”

“I can’t tell you what to do, James. I can’t tell you what to think or what to feel. You’re a big boy. You have to do what’s best for you. What’s right for you. If that doesn’t involve Ciara anymore...that’s what it is. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says softly. She takes the blanket and pillow and leaves the room. Bucky inhales deeply and holds it for a few seconds before exhaling slowly. He doesn’t know what to do about he and Ciara. He doesn’t know what to say to her, he doesn’t know how to touch her, if he should touch her, if she wants him to touch her, if she wants him around…

He had wanted to talk to her this morning but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Seeing her sitting in that chair, her eyes shining with tears that he knew he was the cause of…

He heads toward his room and opens the door. It’s dark inside. He figures she’s asleep so he slinks into the room, gets undressed and sits on the edge of the bed. There’s no warmth coming from her side. He slides his hand over the bed looking for her. The bed is empty. He turns on the light on the bedside table. She’s not in the room. He furrows his brow wondering where she might be. He decides he’ll go check the kitchen when something on the dresser catches his eye. His world shatters instantly. On the dresser in plain sight is her engagement ring. He grabs it, panic suffocating him and runs to find Steve. He bangs on the door to Steve’s room, the door shaking in its frame. 

“BUCK!” Steve yells throwing the door open, but when he sees Bucky’s face the anger quickly dissipates. “What happened?”

Bucky can only show him the ring and look at Steve beseechingly. He needs to hear Steve say Ciara is here, she took it off for some stupid reason, blah blah…

“Where is she?” Steve asks instead. Bucky’s world spins. 

“What the hell is going on?” Sam demands coming down the hall. “Who’s using a sledgehammer on the goddamn doors?”

“Steve,” Natasha’s voice calls from the other end. “Ciara is missing.”

Bucky’s knees give out. 

“Aw come on! Again?” Sam demands. “Goddamn!”

“Sam!” Steve barks. Bucky feels Steve hands under his arms holding him up. “I need you to get a grip, Buck. What happened?”

 


	65. Ciara's Plan

Ciara looks at the copy she made of the map from the conference room. All the red markers indicate previous locations of Cordova. Clint either didn’t notice or chose to ignore the misshapen corkscrew pattern that had developed. Cordova isn’t just after a breedable army. He’s after the remaining piece of Dark Knight. He’s after that missing element that will put Dark Knight into action again. And if Ciara had to wager a guess, Cordova will send his army of super serum freaks to the past to make sure the future has a very different outcome. But not if she gets to it first. 

The plan is simple: find the missing piece, recover the remainder of Dark Knight and go back in time and erase any trace of memory Bucky has of her. It’s time for him to live his life...without her. It breaks her heart knowing that she loved him more than she has ever loved anyone or anything ever in her short life, but she firmly believes it’s for the best. 

Sneaking out of the compound was stupidly easy. Had she known it was going to be that easy the first time around she would have just walked out the fucking doors like she did this time and saved herself the effort. She walked out and just kept going, not looking back. Not like anyone was going to stop her. She can outrun them and if need be incapacitate them. She won’t hurt them...much. 

But she didn’t need to worry about that. They never noticed. At least not while she was on the grounds. She can’t say when someone will notice. Bucky’s sleeping on the fucking couch…

“Goddammit,” she mutters. Heartaches cause physical pain and it hurts more than any real pain a person can imagine. She looks out the window of the plane. Hacking skills are a wonderful thing to have. She has a passport, a ticket, and currency at her disposal now. Cordova has Gabe hunting her and Bucky and Steve. It’s partially a diversionary tactic to keep the Avengers engaged while looking for the Dark Knight. 

Gabe. The realization hits her that in order to save her best friend she may have to go even further back. Back to the night they all went to the warehouse. If Gabe doesn’t go odds are she won’t go. Otherwise…

“I’ll have to take him down myself,” she says under her breath. The guy in the seat next to her looks at her and gives her a toothy smile. He reeks of cigars and stale fish and it makes her want to wretch. 

“Pretty girl travels by herself?” he asks in broken English. She forces a smile. 

“ Concluserunt piscium foetidum,” she replies. Her Latin is rusty and she’s sure this dirtbag won’t catch on to her telling him to shut up and calling him a stinky fish all in one breath. 

He doesn’t. He just nods his head and blows more rancid air her way. She forces a smile again and gets up, pushing past him. He grabs her ass and squeezes, and it takes every ounce of self-control Ciara has not to snap his neck right then and there. She gets to the aisle and heads to the bathroom to splash water on her face. 

She closes and locks the door and turns on the faucet. She splashes her face a few times, wishing the water was colder. She looks in the mirror and tilts her head. Something is amiss. There’s a knock at the door and suddenly she has butterflies in her stomach. 

“You’ll need to take your seat, ma’am. We’ll be taking off very soon,” the trained voice calls through the door. 

“Merci,” she calls back. She splashes her face again and takes her seat. If she can keep from killing Mr. Fishbreath she’ll call it a win for this flight. 

The plan lands nine hours later. Mr. Fishbreath passed out after his fifth cocktail and after several harsh warnings from the flight attendants to stop pinching them. Stupid asshole. 

Ciara grabs what few things she’d picked up at JFK and thrown into a bag and departs the plane in haste. She weaves through the airport to the duty-free shop. She makes a few key purchases and dons them in the ladies room before heading to the outside world and then heads to a local inn. She goes to the little room and pulls out the map again. Tonight we put everything Cordova trained her for to use. 

  
  



	66. Bruce Calls Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony sings to Bruce.

Bruce looks at the lines and lines and lines of information on the chemical composition of both Ciara’s serum and Bucky’s. He looks at their biological scans, their blood results, their genetic coding. There’s an answer in here, but he can’t see the forest for the trees right now. He does the only thing he can think of - he calls Tony.

“Tony?”

“Hello, Bruce. What’s shaking?” 

“I could use your expertise with something. Are you busy?”

“Always, but for you, I can make time,” he replies candidly. “Wait, is this something to do with Barnes’ killer bride?”

“Yes.”

Silence.

“Bruce...if it were anyone else but him -”

“Wait, Tony. What if it was Pepper and you instead of Ciara and Bucky? Wouldn’t you want someone with your caliber of knowledge working with you?” Bruce asks hoping Tony will take the bait.

“If it was Pepper and I what?”

“Trying to have a baby,” Bruce says quietly and then braces for the result. 

“The fact is that we are, but...are you  **_trying_ ** to breed those two? You naughty little mad scientist,” Tony chortles. 

“I am not trying to breed them, Tony, and the fact that you are now the second person who has accused me of that makes me wonder what the hell I’ve been doing that has you people thinking that.”

Tony howls laughter. 

“You’re a mad scientist, Bruce.”

“I’m mad and I’m a scientist. They don’t necessarily go together -”

“Riiiiight,” Tony says antagonizing him a little more. 

“Tony, please help. You don’t want to see what the possible end result will be if we don’t do something.”

“Oh, now you’ve piqued my interest. Have you seen an end result? What was it?” he asks greedily. Bruce wonders where Pepper is. Maybe he should have tried her first. 

“It tore its way out of the mother. Cordova tried to breed a super soldier from the serum they gave Barnes with super soldier they mutated and gave a different strain similar to Ciara’s -”

“Did you say  **_tore_ ** its way out?” Tony asks. 

“Tore. As in shredded her to pieces. Literally. I threw up when I saw it.”

“YOU SAW IT HAPPEN?”

“Video footage Ciara found of Cordova running experiments...Tony, that’s not the issue, I mean it is, but I need your help to make sure it isn’t.”

“Say that again five times fast.”

“Tony.”

“Ugh. What are you thinking? It tore its way out of the mother...holy shit….”

“How do we slow down the serum, Tony?”

“Slow it down? What do you mean slow it down? Stop it? Neutralize it? Eradicate it?”

“Slow. Down. Not stop it, not kill it, just...just slow it down.”

“You’re scheming. I love it. Bring me that video and we’ll talk.”

“Tony, honest to god you do not want to see that,” Bruce says feeling unnerved by the idea of having to watch that horror show again with Tony. And what if Pepper walks in and sees that?

“I do want to see it. No. Actually, I need to see it, because it’ll give me an idea of what the fuck I’m working towards.”

“Okay.”

“Come over. I have snacks.”

Bruce laughs nervously and hangs up. He likes Tony, he’s a good man and he’s the only one smart enough to help him figure this out. It’s also a huge bonus that Howard Stark helped in the creation of one version of the super soldier serum, so maybe….

Bruce packs up what he needs and is about to head out when Natasha stops him.

“Did you see Ciara recently?” she asks quickly. 

“No. Why? Is she okay?”

“She’s missing.”

“Again? But nothing blew up this time,” Bruce says trying to think if he heard any alarms go off recently that he may have ignored. 

“She just sauntered right out the door it seems. The last time she spoke to you what did she say?”

“She was with Barnes and we talked about what the odds would be if they were to conceive,” he says carefully. 

“If they would have one of those things like the one that destroyed Eve.”

“Yes. I told them there was no guarantee.”

“Anything else? Did either of them say anything? Were they fighting?”

“They were both very aloof, but I wouldn’t say they were fighting.”

“Thanks, Bruce,” Natasha says walking away. “Stay close.”

“I’m going to see Stark.”

“Keep your phone on you.”

He waves absently and rushes over to Stark Tower. 

“So,” Tony says rubbing his hands together, “is this a popcorn flick or is this a hard whiskey straight from the bottle flick?”

“Whiskey. Definitely whiskey,” Bruce says handing him the SD card with the video on it. Tony looks like a bratty child about to get into more mischief. 

“Tony...be prepared -’

_ “ _ _ So prepare for a chance of a lifetime...Be prepared for sensational news….A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer…” _

Bruce blinks at him. 

“The...the Lion King, Tony? Really? That’s where you went with this? I think I’d like that drink now.”


	67. The Clue Was Right There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky figures out the map

“We have confirmed reports that at least three ATM’s all close to JFK were recently hacked and an undisclosed amount of cash was taken from each,” Maria Hill says pulling up the map on the 3D screen. “We know she went to JFK. What we don’t know is where she went. I’m open to suggestions at this point,” she says looking at Clint and Natasha. 

Bucky looks at the map and forces himself to focus. She’s running. Whether or not she found something, whether or not she knows something, the end result is that she’s running and it’s his fault for not being the man she needs him to be. He chose to hide from her instead of help work out their issues. Now she’s gone and he knows he’s to blame. All because he was afraid of what would happen if she got….

“Oh god,” he mutters under his breath. Steve looks at him.

“Sergeant Barnes?” Hill questions, “anything you can tell us?”

“Where is the other map?” he asks. 

“Shut that off,” Clint orders. Hill does so and Clint spreads the map across the table. Bucky gets up and circles the table a few times trying to make sense of the goddamn polka dot shit all over the map face. 

Then it dawns on him. He stands up on one of the chairs and looks down at the map. 

“Clint,” he says pointing at the map. Clint gets on a chair, Steve gets on a chair and the three of them look down. 

“What?” Hill asks, getting on a chair as well. 

“Aerial maps,” Clint says to her. “I need aerial topographical and street view. Now.”

Hill pulls up maps of both and then works with Clint and Natasha on the overlay. Bucky watches intently keeping an eye on the locations as they start to come up on the screens.

“What made you think to do that?” Steve asks. 

“A hunch. Something I saw on her face the other day. She knew something else...I should have said something to her,” he says kicking himself again. He digs in his pocket and pulls out her ring. It seems dull now that it’s not on her hand, like it’s lost is sheen and value. 

“Hold on to it, Buck. We’ll get her back -”

“What if she doesn’t want to come back, Steve? What if this is a one-way ticket for her?”

“Get that shit out of your head. Don’t think like that. She never gave up on you -”

“No, but I’ve given up on her, haven’t I?” Bucky interjects. 

“Have you?” Steve asks him calmly. “Think long and hard about that before you answer, Buck.”

“Luxembourg,” Clint announces. “She’s headed to Luxembourg.” 

“There are at least two bases in Luxembourg Cordova has been to and one that he has not. At least that we know of,” Hill says pointing to the latter base. 

“Let’s go,” Bucky says heading for the door. 

“You and Captain Rogers are under orders to stay -”

“Are you going to stop me, Maria? Is Fury?” Bucky asks viciously. “I didn’t think so,” he states when there is no reply. 

“We’ll meet in the hangar in ten minutes,” Bucky hears Steve order the others. He follows Bucky to his room and pulls him inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Listen to me, we’re going to need everyone’s help. There’s no room for jealousy or semantics now, okay? Clint will either be going with myself or Natasha in one direction. And either you and me or you and Nat are going in another. You and Clint know her the best. Our priority is to find her before she gets herself killed.”

“Don’t you think that’s what I want, Steve?” Bucky demands, angry that Steve would think otherwise. 

“You tell me, Buck. Have you given up on her?”

He glares at Steve.

“No, I have not given up on her,” he snaps. 

“Good. Then get your shit and let's go. I’ll meet you in the hangar in five.”


	68. Gabe's Emergence From The Shadows

Ciara looks out at the town from the window in the little room. Getting inside the base is her objective tonight. She’s already retrieved the missing piece to the Dark Knight. Ciara had sought out the piece on one of her kill missions Cordova had sent her on. She had disposed of the scientist holding onto it and then hidden it in the least likely of places - right under their fucking noses. All she needs now is the master mechanism to put the Knight back together. 

She slinks through the shadows as she approaches the military base. The butterflies are back in her stomach. It feels like there’s a whirlwind. The sensation is both nauseating and infuriating. She blames herself for becoming lax on things while she and Bucky were still on good terms. 

She pushes the thoughts of Bucky and what could have been to the back of her mind. She can’t dwell on what ifs and could have beens. She made the decision, it’s time to see it through. 

Moving through the base was uncannily easy. Too easy. Something is amiss. She shimmies into the ventilation ducts and listens. There’s no air movement. Her lips twitch. No one spotted her. No one knew she was coming to Luxembourg. Unless…

Unless someone in the Avengers figured out the fucking map and they’ve either already torn this place apart looking for her and/or Cordova or Cordova has anticipated at least Ciara’s arrival and has laid a trap. 

Heavy footfalls confirm her thoughts. She tilts her head and listens. The heavy steps stop. They are not Bucky’s. Bucky moves in silence, as do Clint and Natasha. Steve doesn’t sound like he’s stomping when he moves. The butterflies are back with a vengeance and the footsteps start to close in on her. They stop again very close to where she’d originally entered the ventilation shaft. She hears something rolling towards her. It’s teargas. She scrambles through the shaft, the gas damn near suffocating her in the confined space. She kicks out the grating and literally falls out of the shaft and onto the floor. She hears footfalls closing in on her again, but the teargas has damn near blinded her and she can’t see anything more than blurred images around her. 

She sees something heading for her and then she feels white hot pain as she’s kicked in the ribs and sent flying across the floor. The air is knocked out of her, she can barely breathe, she can barely see and he’s coming for her again. It’s Gabe. It’s the monster version Cordova mutated him into. 

“Gabe,” she chokes and then coughs on her own vomit as the butterflies turn into a violent tornado in her stomach. 

He kicks her again, and this time she hears the wet snap of a rib. She hits the wall behind her and bounces her head off of it hard enough to make her vision go black for a few seconds. 

“Gabe...stop....”

He comes at her again, this time lifting her from the floor by her throat and holding her high enough off the ground he has to look up at her. She pulls at his hands, gasping for air, the butterflies aren’t just butterflies, it’s something else….

“Gabe…” she gasps. She can barely make out him tilting his head and then suddenly she’s on the ground again. She hears other voices but can’t make out where they are or if she’s that close to blacking out that she’s hallucinating. 

She can see Gabe is watching her, his mismatch colored eyes clouded with confusion. Some part of him recognizes her. He looks at the door and whe she hears Bucky’s disctinct voice.

“CIARA!” Bucky is in full on panic mode and he’s angry too boot. 

“Back off, big man,” she hears Steve say. 

“Gabe...run…” she chokes. She knows Bucky, Steve and the others will terminate Gabe with extreme predjudice if he confronts them. They wouldn’t have a choice. 

“Gabe…” she pleads from the floor. Her stomach feels like its a bounce house, her rib is screaming in fiery pain and her vision is no more that a teary blur, but she can hear Bucky snarling and threatening Gabe and Steve trying to calm them both down, promising Gabe that he won’t be hurt. 

She hears another cannister roll across the floor and Steve bellowing about teargas and to fallback. 

“Gabe, run!” she yells and then starts a fresh wave of choking as the teargas assualts her senses once more. She can hear Bucky roaring at Steve like a rabid bear, the pain in his voice hurts her more than the pain from her rib. She feels a sudden pressure at the base of her skull and the world goes dark. 

 


	69. Tracking Their Quarry

Bucky and Steve stagger out of the building to the awaiting team. Natasha and Wanda immediately aid the guys with flushing the teargas.

“Clint hit that monster with a tracker,” Sam informs them. “We’ve got them on radar.”

“Does he still have her?” Bucky demands through Wanda’s fussing over him.

“He is carrying her,” Vision confirms. 

“He knows her. We have to find them before something happens,” Bucky says frantically to Steve. He bats at Wanda trying to get her to stop. She flicks his ear and gives him a scathing look.

“When I’m done you’ll know,” she advises. Steve snickers and Bucky punches him in the arm. 

“Is she okay? How far out are they?” Steve asks regaining his composure. 

“Not very far. He has her cradled in his arms. She does not look well,” Vision replies.

“Move. Now,” Steve orders. “Stay on them, Vision, but don’t let them see you and do not engage.”

“How do we handle this if we aren’t supposed to engage him?” Sam demands. 

“You want him to tear you apart?” Bucky snaps.

“Enough,” Steve warns. “Bucky and I will handle the up close and personal part. The rest of you will hang back and only use non-lethal force. This is Ciara’s brother, he’s a victim here, too. We do not want to hurt him, but we do need to immobilize him.”

“Yeah. Have you seen him, Steve? He’s the size of an aircraft carrier. I don’t think immobilizing him is going to be as easy as you make it sound,” Clint grumbles. 

“He has Ciara!” Bucky yells at Clint.

“No, shit, Sherlock!” Clint fires back. “Do you think I want her to get hurt?!”

“Stop it!” Natasha barks. “This isn’t fucking kindergarten!”

Bucky and Clint stop bickering. Bucky just wants to get Ciara back and he wants to get her to Bruce as soon as possible. Maybe Steve didn’t notice Ciara protecting her belly, but Bucky did.

Bucky fucked up. He fucked up royally. He should have talked to her and told her why he was afraid to touch her, told her that the nightmares were of their baby tearing her apart and her begging him to kill she and the baby both. He should have told her that he didn’t want to lose her, that he was so afraid of touching her that it affected how he acted around her. He should have told her he loved her. Instead, he shut her out and she assumed that he no longer loved her. Now the clock is ticking and time is getting away from them. Ciara’s demise will be on Bucky regardless of who kills her. 

“Steve,” Bucky says in a very low, quiet voice. Steve stops barking orders and looks at him. 

“Steve...what if...what if she’s pregnant?”

The horror in Steve’s eyes speaks volumes. 

“We’ll get her back.”

“Are you scared of what’s in her or of her dying, Steve?” Bucky asks still speaking softly. 

“Both. I’m scared of both. And I’m scared of what will happen to you if we lose her,” Steve answers honestly. 

“I’m not worried about me. I don’t want to lose her…” Bucky whimpers.

“Then we need to move and you need to stop shutting down every time you don’t feel like dealing with something unpleasant,” Steve chides him. Bucky looks at Steve in surprise.

“Yes, Sir.”

“I will kick your ass later,” Steve promises. 

  
  



	70. Ciara and Gabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain is a four letter word that extends beyond just a definition.

Ciara opens her eyes to a world of pain and nausea and a slightly distended belly. She knows what’s causing the butterflies. She thought the world ended when Bucky shut her out. Lo and behold the end is nigh and it is inside her. She puts her hand on her belly and tries to fight back the tears. The one thing they both wanted, the one thing that will destroy her, is the one thing she has now. The gods are heartless and cruel. 

“See it through,” she tells herself. The pain in her rib is a reminder that Gabe is nearby and she has to pull herself together. 

She looks around. She’s in a shitty looking hunting cabin. She doesn’t see Gabe. She feels the baby summersault inside her. Is this their son? Would he be normal? Will she survive? Would Bucky even care?

She shakes her head. It won’t matter soon.

She sees blood spatters on the floor. She looks herself over quickly. Aside from the pain in her rib and Baby James doing gymnastics, there are no wounds so to speak. She wonders if one of them got a shot off on Gabe. 

This makes her extremely angry. They know damn well who he is and they know damn well he’s a pawn, just like she is and just like Bucky was. Steve had to fight for Bucky, but there is no one to fight for her and Gabe. No one to advocate for them. Because no one cares.

She pushes herself up off the floor, the thought of she and Gabe being nothing more than numbers not only to Cordova but to the Avengers sticking in her craw. Well, fuck them. Fuck all of them. 

She follows the blood spatters and finds Gabe using a hunting knife on his head. He turns toward her, his face misshapen and completely mutated from the serum, but his eyes are the same and they are full of tears and pain. 

“Out,” he grumbles, his voice sounding like it’s being suffocated by the bulging masses on his neck and face. He points to a spot he’s been butchering with the hunting knife.

“Please,” he begs and points again to the gouge he’s created. “Out.”

It’s like he’s forgotten how to talk, how to use words. Like Cordova damaged that part of Gabriel’s brain beyond repair. 

Gabe jabs the knife into his flesh again and Ciara sees chunks of flesh fall to the floor. Her stomach churns. 

“Out,” he continues to plead, this time handing the knife to her. She hesitates, tears falling from her eyes. 

“No hurt...baby…” he struggles to say and points to her belly. Ciara feels her heart and soul being torn asunder. 

“Gabe -”

“Please...hurt...out…” he stammers and points to his head again. Ciara starts to cry. What gods has she pissed off so badly that they take their wrath out on those she loves the most? 

He takes her hand in his now monstrously large and mutated one and puts it on the gouge mark. He presses her hand there and she can feel something in there, something below where he’s been rooting around. It’s in very, very deep, and Ciara doesn’t think she can get it out without doing even more damage. 

“Out,” he whimpers.

“Gabe...it’s in too deep. I can’t…” she cries. 

“Please try...bad man...make...make m-me hurt….hurt y-you,” he says, his words beginning to stutter. The words are hard for him to say and even harder for Ciara to hear. Gabe never deserved to suffer like this. Cordova has stripped Gabe of everything.

“I’m going to make the bad man pay, Gabe. I promise,” she vows. 

“Out...please…” begs. His eyes drop to her belly and he gently puts his hand there. 

“Love?” he asks.

“Love? The baby?”

He shakes his head no and she can see in his eyes he’s trying to force himself to come up with the words to explain. 

“Make baby...love?”

She blinks a few times. 

“I’m guessing you’re not asking me if I had sex to end up like this…”

“Heh,” he chuckles, but even that is garbled and a far cry from the man her brother used to be. 

“I love the father, yes.”

“G-good...good man?”

“He’s like us, Gabe. He was Hydra’s pet -”

Gabe’s eyes widen.

“S-soldier?”

“Yes. James Barnes. You would like him, Gabe. Or would have. This…” she looks around and starts to cry again. 

“No. No cry.”

“I can fix all of this, Gabe. I can. I know how to make this all better. Where is the Dark Knight?”

Gabe shakes his head no and steps back away from her. She can see by the look of fear in his eyes he knows what it is and what it does. 

“Bad...b-bad thing...hurt b-baby...HURT YOU!” he bellows. 

“No, no, shh…” she says trying to calm him. “No one gets hurt. I will fix it.”

“No,” he says shaking his head vehemently. He grabs his head suddenly and shrieks in pain. 

“Gabe!”

“NO! NO!” he wails. “Must o-out! Make hurt! Now! Out!” he yells. Ciara looks at the knife in her hand and backs away from him. 

**_“OUT!”_ ** he roars at her. “CHIP!”

Chip. They put a fucking microchip at the base of his skull where his spine is to control him. He’s in so much fucking pain right now trying to fight it, trying to keep them from making him hurt her….

“Gabe,” she says softly, “forgive me.”

She hits him with all her might sending him crashing into the wall behind him and bouncing his head off the wall so hard he slumps to the floor in an unconscious heap. 

“I will go back and fix all of this. I promise,” she cries as she sits down next to him. She looks at the knife. He won’t stay down long and there is no guarantee he’ll be in control when he wakes up. This was his final wish, to have this fucking thing removed so that he isn’t under Cordova’s control anymore. Ciara knows removing it will kill Gabe, but it’s the least she can do to offer him some peace finally. 

“I will make him pay, Gabriel. I will make Cordova pay.”

  
  



	71. Words Fail

“Found them. Hunting cabin about ten miles from where you are now,” Sam relays through the comms. 

“Ten miles? Holy shit he can move,” Clint grumbles.

“Move with a purpose, but do not engage,” Steve warns them again. Bucky zips past him running faster than Steve has ever seen him move before. He knows Bucky’s scared and worried, and Steve is too, but Bucky’s inability to communicate when he comes across a situation he doesn’t know how to deal with has put them into this mess and when Steve gets them home he’s going to beat both Ciara and Bucky’s asses. After he makes sure Ciara sees Bruce. He doesn’t want anything to happen to her or the baby. Bucky will lose his goddamn mind for sure. 

Steve pushes harder and catches up to Bucky. He can make out the outline of the hunting cabin up ahead. 

“Buck, slow down. You go barreling in there and he may kill her, you and anyone else -”

“He touches her and he’s dead,” Bucky says cold calmness.

“You kill him and what will Ciara do to us?” Steve asks in just an icy of a tone. Bucky stops running. 

“The same thing I’d do to anyone who hurt you, kid,” Bucky admits after a moment. “What’s the plan?”

“How about we knock instead of rushing in like a bunch of half-cocked assholes?” Natasha suggests. 

“We have a situation,” Sam cuts in. “It looks like the brother is down.”

Everyone races for the cabin. 

“Stay behind me,” Steve orders. He opens the door slowly and hears Natasha scold him about knocking. He turns around and gives her a look and she just shakes her head in disbelief at him then mutters something about manners. The entire team needs a vacation because they’ve all lost their minds.

“Steve,” Bucky groans. Steve looks at him and then sees what has Bucky’s attention. There are blood spatterings on the floor. There is no immediate sign of Ciara or her brother and the cabin is deathly silent. 

“Stay back,” Steve commands the others. “Buck and I will go in first.”

The others fall back and Steve and Bucky creep forward. They find Ciara and Gabe and Steve’s heart drops at what he sees. 

Ciara is cradling her brother’s head in her lap and softly repeating to him that it will be okay. There is blood on her hands, on the floor, and chunks of flesh litter the area. There is knife soaked in blood next to them. He and Bucky are towering over her looking down, and Ciara doesn’t seem to notice them. She doesn’t seem aware of anything. She’s in shock. 

Steve sees Gabe’s clouded mismatched eyes look up at him and there’s a spark of recognition. The young man is barely alive, but he knows who Steve is and he looks like he’s trying to smile through the misshapen bulges and masses crowding his face. 

“Key…” Gabe mumbles. Steve can hear the pain in his voice. He looks at Bucky and the two of them hurt for Ciara and Gabe. Things could have turned out like this for them…

“Shhh...rest...I’m going to fix it. I promise,” Ciara says absently as she holds him. 

“Key...Cap...C-cap help...baby...Cap help you...and s-soldier…”

“Gabe…” 

Steve hears Ciara’s voice crack. She knows Gabe is dying. Bucky kneels down next to them and Steve sees Gabe try to focus on Bucky now. 

“S-soldier...love her...take...take care of...baby…”

“Gabe...please,” Ciara says through fresh tears. 

“I...love you...s-sister.”

Gabe’s eyes close and do not reopen. Ciara weeps, pulling Gabe into her arms and holding his now lifeless body. 

Steve kneels down next to her. 

“Ciara,” he says gently. 

“Baby,” Bucky whispers to her. Steve sees Bucky reach for her, but he hesitates. Steve wants to throw his shield at Bucky’s head right now. 

He sees the others slowly encroaching and he shakes his head no quickly. Bucky finally reaches out to Ciara and she pulls back away from him, crying harder and holding Gabe’s body that much closer while she cries. She thinks Bucky abandoned her, Cordova hurt her brother and if Steve had to wager a guess, Ciara was left with no choice but to take Gabe’s life. On top of all this, she may be pregnant…

“What happened, kiddo?” Steve asks softly. “Who did this?”

She extends her arm and opens a bloody hand. In her palm is a microchip. 

“Oh god,” Bucky whispers. “Ciara…”

Steve sees Clint and motions for him to come into the room. 

“Jesus Christ...Kitty Cat, hey, hey,” Clint calls to her. She doesn’t respond. 

“They chipped him,” Steve explains. “She’s got the microchip in her hand. That’s all we’ve gotten from her -”

“Buck, get behind her,” Clint says calmly, “put your arms around her and hold her. Hold her tight, do you hear me?”

Bucky doesn’t argue, which is a mild shock to Steve, instead just getting up and doing as Clint has instructed him. He puts his arms around Ciara who immediately tries to throw him off of her, growling and snarling at him. Bucky gets his arms around her and locks himself into place and Ciara’s struggles to shake him off become less and less until she stops struggling altogether. 

“Let Gabe go, Kitty Cat. Let him go. It’s going to be okay,” Clint tells her, using a soothing voice like he would on a child. “Tell her it’s okay, Buck. Talk to her.”

“Buck,” Steve urges. 

“Baby, listen to me, okay? I made a mistake and sorry won’t cut it now. I know this hurts, I know it does and I can’t…” Bucky is struggling with his own tears now. Clint motions for him to keep going, but Steve picks up instead because she needs all of them, not just Bucky right now. 

“We will get Gabe situated and we will make sure he gets the proper arrangements, kiddo. But we have to get you back to Bruce and we have to do it now. Gabe didn’t want you to be hurt. He wants us to help you and the baby.”

Clint looks at Steve in terror. Steve nods towards her belly and Clint drags his hand down his face. 

“Ciara, I love you,” Bucky says picking up where Steve left off, “Please let us help you with this. Don’t...don’t...please let us help, baby, please,” he begs and hugs her tighter. She chokes and whines when he does, one hand going to her ribs and the other going to her belly. 

“I can’t leave him,” she says at long last. “I won’t.”

“He’s coming with us, kiddo. We aren’t leaving him behind, but we have to go. We have to get…” Steve falters now. What does he say? We have to get her to Bruce so Bruce can scrape whatever is growing in her out so it doesn’t mutilate her when it’s ready to come out? 

“You’re going to kill the baby,” she says looking up finally. Her eyes lock on Steve’s and Steve feels the world fall out from under him. Bucky’s steel blue eyes are brimming with tears that fall when he shakes his head. 

“We have to go, Kitty Cat,” Clint says softly when Steve can’t respond. “We have to go back. We’ll do our best.”

Ciara doesn't respond. 

“Get her up and get her on the jet,” Steve orders Clint and Bucky. Bucky puts his head against hers and rocks her tenderly. 

“Ciara...please let us help with the baby. I don’t want to see you get hurt again. Please,” Bucky whispers to her. 

“You don’t care. None of you do. You’re just afraid of it getting out. That’s all.”

Her statement is so devoid of emotion that for a moment time seems to have stopped. 

“That’s not true, Ciara,” Clint says finally finding his voice. “We came looking for you because -”

He’s silenced by the look on her face. She doesn’t believe Clint. She doesn’t believe Bucky and Steve knows nothing he says now will convince her, either. They can’t keep wasting time -

“Steve, let Wanda talk to her,” Natasha says through the comm. Wanda is already halfway to Ciara before Natasha finishes, leaving Steve with no choice but to let the girl try. 

“Out. All of you,” Wanda hisses at them. “You’ve tried and you’ve failed. Get out.”

Her words are as cold as Ciara’s and Steve isn’t sure what they’ve done to piss Wanda off now, too. Bucky lets go of Ciara and gets up, as do Steve and Clint. Steve looks over his shoulder at Wanda who points at the door angrily. 

He steps outside where Natasha is standing with a glaring look on her face.

“She’s pregnant and all the three of you could think to do was tell her you’d take her now deceased brother home, bury him and  **_take care of her and the baby_ ** . You couldn’t have come across any more callous and unfeeling as you did.”

Steve, Clint, and Bucky look at Natasha with their mouths hanging open. 

“That’s not what we intended,” Clint protests. 

“Yeah, well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You have three kids, Barton. You of all people should know not to tell a pregnant woman that you plan on disposing of her child, even if she knows what it will do,” Natasha continues to chide them. 

“We didn’t know what to say or do,” Bucky argues. 

“No, clearly you did not. Bruce and Tony are waiting on her. They have something that may save her and the baby.”

“Why didn’t you say something while we were in there?” Steve demands angrily. 

“Because by the time he communicated that with us you had already made your plans for Ciara and her baby clear!”

“Our baby,” Bucky corrects her. “The baby isn’t just hers. He’s mine, too.”

“Now you want to man up, Barnes?” Natasha snaps. “Jesus Christ, you three! You are all she has left. You and Clint more than Steve, Barnes. She loves you more than anything and you don’t know how to act. Shit or get off the pot. I’m not going to keep chasing her down every time you two fight because you want to hide yourself. That’s not how this works now. I’m telling you right now you had better decide if you’re going to make this work with her or if you’re going to walk away, because if you two pull a stunt like this again and she bails….no one will go after her. She is a free agent at that point.”

Natasha’s words are harsh but they carry the truth. Bucky still hasn’t fully learned how to deal with things since breaking free from Hydra. He’s only developed the most basic coping mechanisms and throwing himself headfirst into a relationship with a girl he met seventy years ago has put the poor bastard into a tailspin. Steve is no better. The speech was meant as a lesson and a warning for them both. 

“Ciara and I are coming out. Do not engage her,” Wanda says through the comms using Steve’s verbiage from before. Steve knows that’s a shot at him and he takes it. 

“We’ll get the brother and bring him back with us. Sam, can you get to the jet any faster than if one of us runs?” Steve questions. 

“On it, Cap,” Sam says launching himself into the air and spreading his wings. 

“Bruce...Bruce thinks he can save both of them? Ciara and the baby?” Bucky dares to finally ask. Natasha breaks a smile. 

“He’s hopeful. The two boy geniuses have been hard at work on this since before we left. There are no guarantees, though,” Natasha advises. 

Steve sees the relief start to come over Bucky. There’s hope and Steve’s willing to bet that is what Wanda gave Ciara - hope. 

  
  
  



	72. The Light Begins To Fade

Ciara lets the little redhead lead her back to the jet. She says her name is Wanda. She told Ciara that there is hope that they can save the baby, that Bruce and Stark have a potential solution. Wanda believes this, there is genuine hope in her eyes. Ciara knows it’s already too late. Her clothes are too small by leaps and bounds, the butterflies have moved onto full on kicks now. Her mind flashes image after image of the creature that tore through Eve and Ciara knows her time is coming. 

But she lets Wanda lead her to the jet because of hope. Because Wanda made her believe that if nothing else someone on that fucking team cares about her well being enough to try to save her and the baby. But mostly she does it because Gabe had wanted her to. She is no closer to the Black Knight now than she was when she arrived in Luxembourg, but somehow she is much, much worse for the wear. Her only consolation now is that she will die with the baby and that will be the end of it all. Bucky will move on, and she and Gabe will be free of Cordova and the pain and torture he brought upon them. Perhaps someday someone will get Cordova and make him suffer. Perhaps. 

She lets Wanda strap her into the seat in the jet. Her hands are still covered in Gabe’s blood, and she still has the microchip clenched in her fist. She avoids looking at the others. She doesn’t know how she’ll respond. She may not do anything. She may cry. She may lose her fucking mind and slaughter everyone on the jet and then let it crash into a fiery grave for her. 

“I have something to help you rest. It’s half a Valium. That’s all,” Wanda whispers to her. She has half of a pill in the palm of her hand showing it to Ciara and a bottle of water in the other. Ciara takes it and chews it up much to the chagrin of Wanda. She puts the bottle of water in Ciara’s hand and the forces her to drink. 

“Wanda...what are you giving her?” Bucky asks. Ciara can hear the anxiety in his voice coming through loud and clear. 

“Valium. Do you want one? You need a nap.”

Ciara finds this amusing and snorts out a small laugh. Wanda smiles at her. She’s a warm person, but there’s an undercurrent of power to this girl that Ciara can detect without any effort. She straps in next to Ciara and takes the bottle from her. 

“I lost my brother, too. Clint was with him when he died. We were twins. I know how much you hurt, Ciara. I know this pain all too well. I want you to know you aren’t alone. No matter what happens with you and the three stooges over there, you and I, we will be friends and I will always be here if you need someone. Don’t let your brother’s death be in vain. Don’t give up, okay?”

Wanda takes her hand and holds it and Ciara doesn’t know what to do or what to think. The only other people in her life to  _ EVER _ show her affection or a willingness to care were Gabe, occasionally Hattie and Michael when they weren’t joined at the pelvic bone, Bucky and Clint. Clint was after a piece of ass for the most part, but he still tried to look out for her. Bucky is...was...she doesn’t know anymore. And Gabe is gone now. Gabe is gone, Hattie and Michael are gone, she’s on a jet with something growing inside her that may or may not try and tear its way out of her in due time…

“ _ Close your eyes.” _

It was a suggestive thought, but it was Wanda’s voice. She looks at the girl who smiles calmly and continues to hold her hand. Wanda nods her head knowingly. Ciara looks down at her stomach. Any hope there may have been is starting to fade. 

She closes her eyes. 

“Tell me about your brother,” Ciara says quietly. 

“His name was Pietro. He was my best friend. He could be a little arrogant sometimes, but hey…”

“Was it Clint’s fault?”

“No. Things...happened. We were involved with Hydra.”

“Hydra and Shield are fucking interchangeable at this point.”

“Agreed. Just name variances which is just splitting hairs.”

They sit quietly for a few moments.

“You helped Steve with Bucky in Romania. I saw you on the news,” Ciara says remembering Wanda now. “You’re pretty goddamn dangerous.”

“I am. I’ve made mistakes -”

“You have a gift that no one taught you how to properly use,” Ciara interjects. “You can’t be faulted for mistakes. Shit will happen. One of the few things you can be guaranteed of in life.”

“Death, taxes, and shit. I like it,” Wanda muses. “I spent time on the run because of them. I don’t regret it. James isn’t a bad person. He’s a confused asshole, but not a bad person.”

“Hmmm.”

“No more talk about the boys. Let them sit and stew in their misery for now,” Wanda says softly. She leans her head against Ciara’s shoulder and Ciara is surprised that she is okay with this. 

Ciara closes her eyes again and drifts into an uneasy sleep. 

“Don’t. If she wakes up to you hovering over her she’s liable to punch a hole in your face.”

That would be Natasha warning someone to back off. Ciara opens her eyes and sees Clint, Bucky, Steve, Sam and Vision standing back from her while Wanda and Natasha are on either side of her. 

“Take it easy,” Wanda says in a very motherly tone.

“Don’t panic,” Natasha adds. Ciara panics.

“What?” she demands and then looks down. She’s bleeding. She’s sitting in a pool of her own blood. 

“Go get Bruce and get a gurney up here,” Natasha orders. Sam, Steve and Vision bail as fast as they can. 

“What’s happening?” Ciara asks. She feels lightheaded. 

“Keep your eyes open, Ciara,” Natasha orders. She feels Wanda’s cool hand on her brow. 

“She can’t wait, Nat. Something is wrong -”

“Fuck this,” Bucky growls. He moves Natasha and scoops Ciara out of her seat. “I can run her to the infirmary quicker than they can get the fucking gurney back here.”

“Jostling her might put her into labor if that’s not what this is, Barnes!” Natasha barks. She’s scared. Wanda is scared. Bucky is scared. Ciara is fucking terrified. 

“Go! Hurry, James!” Wanda tells him. Ciara feels Bucky’s embrace tighten and then feels air moving quickly past them as he runs with her. 

“Hang on, doll. Hang on. We’ll be there in less than a minute. Just hang on, Ciara,” he pleads as he races down the corridors. 

The lights overhead are a blur and she can hear the sound of the ocean in her ears. She thinks of Gabe and the first time they met, how he had looked her over, how scared she had been, how he had smiled and taken her by the hand and made her a sandwich. She thinks of the first time she met Bucky, how his eyes had that fire in them when they made love in the changing room, how much devotion and love there was when he asked her to marry him and wait for him. She thinks of Clint and his apology breakfast with the stupidly good bacon and how he’d put ice on her knees from where she fell on the floor. She thinks of Bucky when they found each other on the Pavillion again, the notebook full of his thoughts and dreams of her, of the crude sketches he had done from his broken memories. She thinks of Bucky and how he cried with her in her room here at the compound, how hard each sob shook his powerful body as he wept with her. She thinks about how he’s tracked her down both times she ran to try and keep her safe. She thinks about the engagement ring he’d bought, and how after seventy years, after all the shit with Hydra and running from the law and having to go back into cryo so Shuri could help deprogram him, after all that he still loved her and wanted to marry her. She thinks about Bucky and how his eyes light up when she would tell him she loved him, how he’d give her that side grin when he was being mischievous, how big and grand his smile was when he knew he’d done something that made her happy. 

She thinks about Bucky as the world fades away and the cries and yells diminish to hums in the background. She thinks about Bucky as she closes her eyes. 

 


	73. News and Advice

The dining room has a black cloud hanging over it. Wanda, Vision, Bucky, Steve, Natasha, Sam and Clint are either sitting at the table or leaning morosely against the counter. No one says a word. Tears spill, but no comfort is offered. No news has come from the infirmary since they arrived. Bucky and Steve had to be forcibly removed by Vision, Sam, and several other agents after bringing Ciara in. She was bleeding so much that there are pools of it in the hall, and what looks like a lagoon on the jet. She’d started bleeding out because of the baby. Or monster. Depending on which one of them you asked would be the answer they gave. 

It’s been hours since they got back. Twelve to be exact. Twelve hours since they landed with suddenly very pregnant Ciara and her deceased brother. Twelve hours. 

Buck, Steve, Sam, and Clint had moved Gabe’s body to the morgue so that he’s at least off the jet now. 

There had been hope that Ciara and the baby could be saved. Bruce and Tony had somehow come up with a way to make that happen, although the logistics have yet to be discussed. Now it’s too late. No one knows what’s happened. No one can get near the infirmary. Bruce has been in the infirmary with Ciara since they got back. 

“Bucky,” Wanda says quietly. Bucky wipes his eyes and looks over at her. “Where would  you two have gotten married?”

The question brings on fresh heartache for him, fresh pain at the realization that no matter what answer he provides, no matter where he wanted to take his beautiful girl, that chance will never come now. 

“Man, if you say Romania,” Sam says sullenly. It’s a weak attempt to joke. For a moment everyone is quiet and then Steve chokes out a laugh. Then Clint. Then Natasha. Soon all of them are laughing a little bit. The laughter dies down quickly, though. 

“I don’t know, kid. Hawaii? Italy? Alaska?” Bucky replies after a few more moments. 

“Alaska,” Clint scoffs, “what the fuck for? Do you plan on getting abducted by aliens for your honeymoon?”

The giggling starts going around the room again.

“You watch too much TV,” Natasha tells Clint. 

“It’s true. Look it up,” Clint responds. 

“Okay, not Alaska,” Bucky concedes. “Think Thor would let us go to Asgard?”

Everyone makes an  _ O _ face at that suggestion. 

“It’s not really a vacation spot,” Bruce says coming into the kitchen with Tony. They look exhausted and mentally beat to hell. 

Everyone at the table stands up, all faces are trained on Bruce and Tony, eager to hear what news they have. 

Tony sits down at the table and puts his head down. Bruce rubs his eyes.

“Well?” Clint demands. 

“Well what?” Tony mumbles from his arms. 

“Sit down. All of you. I have good news and….”

“News. We have news,” Tony tells them as he picks up his head. 

“Did she survive?” Steve asks, speaking the question on everyone’s mind at the moment. 

“Yes. Barely, but she survived. She’s not to be disturbed under any circumstances until I give the all clear,” Bruce states. There is a no bullshit tone to his voice. 

“The baby?” Wanda asks. 

Tony and Bruce exchange glances. 

“Sit down before you fall down, Bruce,” Tony says pointing to an empty chair. Bruce sits. 

“The baby didn’t survive,” Bucky says already knowing this to be the case.

“No. And it’s a good thing it didn’t, Barnes,” Tony says bluntly. “It tried to claw its way out of her when the umbilical cord got wrapped around its neck. It ripped through the placenta, ruptured the amniotic sac and sliced into a vein in her uterine wall.”

“That is exactly what happened. The baby -”

“That was no baby,” Tony mutters and puts his head down again.

“Was so active inside her that it twisted the umbilical cord around its neck like a noose. As it grew, the cord tightened, causing….”

“It,” Tony says helping Bruce along.

“It to panic and try and claw its way out. Doing that pulled the cord tighter and it strangled itself inside her womb.”

“It took us hours and I don’t know how much of my nanotech to stave off the bleeding….and that’s when I left to get air,” Tony states.

“Yeah. We had to do an emergency C-section to remove the body. Which caused more hemorrhaging, which meant additional blood loss, more surgery time….” Bruce sighs heavily. 

“She’s alive, though?” Steve asks, looking over at Bucky. Bucky can’t really feel anything right now. He’s not sure how to process what he’s being told. 

“She is. She’s resting. She’s under constant supervision until further notice,” Bruce replies. 

“That is the news,” Tony says tiredly. “Tell them the good news now.”

“I don’t know...it may be too soon, Tony,” Bruce says hesitantly, 

“What news?” Bucky asks barely aware of his own voice. He wants to go see Ciara. He wants to see with his own two eyes that she is alive. He wants to tell her what happened and recommit to her fully. 

“We tested out a potential anti-serum of sorts on some of the developing cells of the infant that were still alive.”

“It slowed the growth pattern on those cells to almost normal. Almost. Like within a workable, functioning range that the fetus would be able to develop at a much more normal rate,” Tony elaborates. “Don’t be pissed off at Bruce for testing it. It was my idea and this was an opportunity to test it.”

“It was our idea. I admit it’s not...it’s not morally or ethically correct in most respects, but it proved that we can slow the serum down with gestating cells to allow them to mature the way they should,” Bruce says cautiously. 

“What was inside her was still a baby, regardless of what it became or tried to do,” Bucky says tersely. “A baby that had no control over what was happening to it. You saved Ciara…”

“The baby strangled on the umbilical cord, we did nothing to the baby but remove it from her body and then take a sample of some of the cells. Had the baby not strangled...Ciara would not have survived,” Bruce tells them. There is silence in the room once more. 

“Bruce, I need to see her,” Bucky says thickly. 

“No, Buck. No. Not now,” Bruce says sticking to his guns. Bucky gets up from the table. 

“Buck,” Steve warns.

“Barnes, give her a chance to rest before you go in there and wind her up. She just lost a baby. Give her some space,” Tony states. 

Bucky walks away from them, not bothering to hide the fact that he’s crying again. 

He goes to his room, sits on the edge of the bed and weeps. This is the second time he’s nearly lost Ciara. This time it cost him their baby. How will she be able to cope with this? Her brother, the baby, Bucky’s inability to act like the fucking man she needs? 

He feels a weight on the edge of the bed and a bulky arm being draped over his shoulders and pulling him close. Steve pulls Bucky close and holds him while he cries. He hates it when Steve does this shit, it makes Bucky feel weak, but he’s also glad for it. Bucky needs Steve more than ever, he needs Steve’s strength when his own fails as it has now. 

He’s done the same for Steve in the past, way in the past, when they were much younger and now Steve gets to return the favor. Sometimes it seems like Steve’s returned the favor a hundredfold or more. 

Bucky pulls himself together and Steve lets him sit up so he can wipe his eyes. 

“She’s alive, Buck.”

“I know. I know. But how is this going to affect her, Steve? How’s she going to cope with losing another baby, losing her brother….with me?”

“I don’t know, Buck. I don’t...I don’t have an answer and you, me and Clint apparently screwed up something fierce in Luxembourg -”

He’s interrupted by a soft knock on the door. 

“It’s Wanda,” they hear her call through the door. “Can I come in?”

Steve gets up and opens the door to let her in. Bucky wipes at his eyes again. Goddamn dames in here have seen him cry more than any dame ever has in his past. It’s a fucking travesty. 

“It’s okay, James, I’m not here to yell at you two,” she says as she steps into the room. 

“Thank Christ,” Bucky mutters. 

“I just wanted to offer you some female advice. You’ve lost two babies, James, but Ciara has lost so much more. Don’t hide your pain, but don’t make it about you, either. Help her if she’ll let you. I think she will. I think she’s going to need you more than ever now and you know that you have to step up your game for her. Don’t bottle yourself up. Sitting with her on the jet...you were on her mind, James. Everything in her head centered around you. You two can help each other, you can support each other more than what Steve or myself or anyone else can support you two. Okay?” she asks gently. She caresses his face when she speaks, furthering that nurturing tone she’s using. 

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?” Bucky asks. He hears his voice tremble as he speaks. Steve is next to him with his arm around him again. Wanda smiles and sits on his other side. 

“I think that she needs time to heal. I think she needs time to come to terms with what’s happened. I think she’s going to need you to help her cope, James.”

“Why won’t you call me Bucky?”

“I like James better,” she says with a shrug. She loops her arm with his and he takes her hand and holds it. She’s like a little sister to him and Steve. “She likes calling you Bucky, though. That’s what matters. I’ll hold Bruce off, go see her. You too, Steve, if you want.”

Bucky is more than a little surprised by the offer. 

“Wanda, Bruce wants her to rest,” Bucky says trying to protest. She squeezes his hand. 

“She’ll want to see you, James.”

She puts her head on his shoulder for a moment and then gets up. Steve grabs her hand and pulls her into a hug. 

“She needs you, too, Wanda. She needs a girl to talk to, just like you do,” he tells her. 

“I know. I told her I was her friend. She needs to hear that, too. She’s been alone and surrounded by nutsacks for so long she’s lost her damn mind.”

Steve’s jaw drops and Bucky can’t help but laugh.

“Wanda,” Steve groans, but he’s laughing, too. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I’m out of order,” she says with a wink before leaving the room to no doubt confuse the shit out of Bruce with some chicanery. 

 


	74. Drugs Are A Hell Of A Thing

Ciara opens her eyes slowly. The world is a hazy mess of dimly lit machine lights. She tries to move but she feels like she’s been gutted from the inside out. Her brain won’t focus on what the hell is happening, it only wants to focus on Bucky. She had fallen asleep thinking of his sweet smile and it’s that same smile she thinks of now. It brings a weak smile to her own lips thinking about Bucky’s steel blue eyes and sideways grin. 

“You’re awake. Dr. Banner thought you would be out the rest of the night,” a voice says. Ciara tries to turn her head but that makes the gutted feeling intensify so she stops trying. The body of the voice appears in Ciara’s line of sight. She doesn’t know this person and if she does she sure as hell doesn’t know who they are right now. 

Ciara sighs tiredly. She opens her mouth thinking she’s going to say something, but when nothing happens she closes it again and decides she’ll try again later. 

“Are you thirsty?”

She gives a faint smile or tries to.

“Blink once for yes and twice for no.”

Apparently, she can’t smile. She blinks once. The person nods their head and then disappears from Ciara’s line of sight. She closes her eyes and listens to the hum of the machines in the room. It’s soothing, like insane lullaby techno music for ravers, if ravers slept. 

She hears hushed voices coming from...somewhere. She isn’t sure if she’s dreaming so she ignores them. She could be dreaming. If she stays very still there’s not really that horrible gutted sensation in her belly anymore and the world seems almost peaceful. She goes back to thinking about Bucky’s pretty blue eyes and his charming smile. She would like to see him smile for real. Maybe when the voice person comes back with this drink she can ask them to bring her Bucky and Bucky will smile for her and all will be right with the world. 

She goes back to listening to the machines again, her eyes closed, the image of Bucky’s face hovering over her right after they had made love the first time making her smile. 

“She’s asleep.”

“Do you want to stay? I’ll help Wanda keep Bruce off your back for a while.”

Ciara thinks she’s hearing Steve and...is that her Bucky? She hopes so. Maybe she did ask the person with the voice to get Bucky after all. She opens her eyes slowly. 

“Hey, beautiful.” Bucky’s voice is soft and gentle, his steel blue eyes looking into hers, and he’s got a little bit of that side grin going. She’s so happy to see him right now. She wants to tell him he’s handsome and he looks very nice and his eyes are pretty. She tries again to talk but she can’t think of what to say now. 

“It’s alright, it’s okay, doll,” he whispers. He strokes the hair from off of her brow. His touch is pure sweetness and she closes her eyes in bliss. 

“She’s high as a goddamn kite, Steve. Jesus Christ, what the fuck did he give her?”

“Morphine, tramadol….Xanax…..”

“Xanax?”

“It’s a severe anxiety medication. I told you two to leave her alone,” Bruce scolds them. Ciara hears Bruce and he is angry. She wonders if he is green and then wonders why she thinks Bruce is the Jolly Green Giant. That makes no sense. She can’t see him to try and convince herself that Bruce isn’t the Jolly Green Giant so she decides to let that go. She wants to see Bucky’s face some more. 

“Bruce, wait, look she’s awake, let me have a few minutes with her. Please. Five minutes, I’m begging you.”

Ciara hears Bucky pleading with Bruce for time. Time is irrelevant when there is Bucky. She wants him to look at her because he has the most magnificent blue eyes in all the universe. 

“Bucky.”

She managed to say his name. He directs his attention back to her, his blue eyes shining brighter than the brightest stars. She’s so happy she could say his name and that he’s looking at her again. 

“Bruce, give them five minutes. Tell me what the hell Xanax does,” Steve says. 

Bucky’s eyes shimmer a little. Ciara thinks that’s what pools of water look like under the moon. He’s perfect. This handsome man with his chiseled jawline, wayward smile, magnificent blue eyes…

“How do you feel, beautiful?” Bucky asks her. His voice is dreamy and melodic, like an angel. She closes her eyes for a moment and smiles. She feels his hand on her brow again, the metal is cold and welcoming. It feels like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. 

She tries again to talk but her voice is on vacation someplace. She wants to go on vacation with Bucky. She thinks the beach would be nice. He could wear a speedo.

“What’s funny, doll?” he asks her in an amused voice. “Steve. Steve!”

“Yeah?”

Ciara can’t see Steve. Steven. Steven Rogers. Captain Steven. Captain Steven. Captain Steven. That’s funny. 

“Can she have a drink? Jesus Christ,” he says. He looks away from Ciara and this upsets her. She wants to see his eyes. 

“Bucky.”

She likes saying his name. It’s soothing. She says it again and he looks at her, his eyes are worried now and he’s made his forehead all wrinkly. She tries to shake her head no at him, to tell him he shouldn’t do that and ruin that perfectly good face by wrinkling things that ought not to be wrinkled. The gutted feeling comes back tenfold and it hurts. It hurts so bad. It brings tears to her eyes it hurts so bad. 

“No, no, easy, Ciara, easy. It’s okay,” he tells her in his soothing, velvety smooth voice. He uncrinkles his head and his blue eyes shine like stars again. 

“Don’t let her chug it. Small sips, Ciara,” Bruce says appearing in her line of sight. Bucky brings a straw to her lips and gives her that sweet, sweet smile she adores. 

“Drink a little. For me, doll. Just a little, okay?” he says in his velvet voice. She does as he asks because it will make him happy and Bucky being happy is life.

“Five minutes. That’s it. Starting now.”

Bruce is angry but he isn’t green. Maybe he isn’t the Jolly Green Giant after all. He leaves her line of sight and Steve appears. Captain Steven. The super Captain. 

“Why is she smiling like that?” Captain Steven the super captain asks. 

“Bucky.”

“I’m here, beautiful. I’m right here. Do you know who this is?” he asks her and points to Captain Steven. Ciara blinks once for yes because that’s what the voice person who was supposed to get her a drink before said to do but Bucky doesn’t understand? Why doesn’t he understand? She has to use the words. 

“Captain Steven,” she says with all the effort. Bucky snorts and bites his lip and this pleases her because he’s smiling and he should just laugh because it’s like music when he does. And she wants him to smile and laugh and be happy. Bucky is the world. 

“That’s right, kiddo,” Captain Steven tells her. She’s very happy that she was right. But she’s so sleepy now. Her eyes are so heavy. She looks at Bucky and tries to keep her eyes open. 

“It’s okay, Ciara. Go to sleep. I’ll be here. I’ll always be here,” Bucky promises her. Ciara smiles and closes her eyes, content in knowing her Bucky will be there always. 

  
  
  



	75. Bucky Steps Up

Bucky watches Ciara close her eyes and drift back to sleep. Bruce has her on so many pain meds she’s looped out of her skull right now. Something made her giggle a couple of times and hearing her call Steve Captain Steven made Bucky chuckle. 

He runs his fingers through a lock of her hair. He’s still berating himself for letting this shit get this far. When she left she was under the impression he had stopped loving her - which was not in any, way, shape or form true. Now she’s so high she maybe doesn’t remember what happened. Not a damn bit of it. Not about her brother, not about the baby and certainly not about Bucky being too much of a coward to deal with her and just ignoring her. 

He swallows the lump in his throat. He loves her more than life itself. He’s loved her since the moment he looked into her stormy eyes all those years ago. Losing her would surely kill him, the emptiness inside him would swallow him whole and nothing Steve could do would stop it. He loves Steve, too. He adores Steve. If anything happened to Ciara he would make sure Steve took care of her because Steve is the only man in the goddamn world Bucky would trust to do so. But Steve understands Bucky better than Ciara does. Steve’s been there through so much of this shit with Bucky and Ciara has not. She’s seen his files, she knows what he’s done. But she doesn’t  _ know _ Bucky anymore than he really knows her. That has to change. He wants to marry her. He’s going to marry her if she still wants to do so, at least. The baby thing...he won’t bring it up. He won’t mention it. Two little ones lost. Even if Bruce and Stark did find a way to make it work...why would she put herself through this again? 

“Are you satiated now?” Bruce asks coming back into the room. 

“No. I’m staying.”

“Absolutely not -“

“You said she needed to be under constant supervision,” Bucky counters, “that’s me. I’ll be her guardian.”

“Steve, talk to him. She needs time to heal. If she gets riled up it’s going to take that much longer for her to do so,” Bruce says going to Steve for help. Bucky shakes his head in disbelief. Does Bruce  _ really  _ think Steve’s going to side with him over Bucky? 

“Buck…” Steve begins and rubs the back of his neck nervously. Bucky’s eyes narrow.

“Don’t you dare, Steve,” Bucky warns. “I promised her I would be here when she wakes up. I’m not leaving. You guys want someone to stay in here and babysit us both, fine, but I am not leaving.”

“He’s not leaving,” Steve says looking at Bruce and shrugging. “Do you really feel like arguing?”

Bruce shakes his head no.

“Promise me you won’t fight with her, Buck. Promise me. You both just lost another baby and she’s lost her brother. That’s why I gave her the Xanax. Maybe you should have some -“

“Nope,” Bucky says cutting him off. “I swear to you on everything I hold holy that I will not fight with her. I don’t want to fight with her, Bruce. I want to apologize to her and try to make up for being such a simpering shithead.”

“Alright, alright. You’re not a simpering shithead, Buck. You’ve been through Hell. No one goes through what you did and comes out unscathed. Be nice. That’s all I ask.”

“He’ll be good,” Steve says vouching for Bucky. Bruce nods. 

“If she wakes up I’ll be sure to have someone on hand to help. She’s going to be in pain when she does wake up. She heals fast, but she took a lot of damage. Call for someone, okay?” Bruce instructs. Bucky nods and Bruce finally leaves. 

“I’ll go get your pillow. You want a blanket?” Steve asks. 

“Yeah,” Bucky replies absently. He runs his fingers over Ciara’s cheek. Two babies lost. Two times she’s been robbed of being a mother. Now her brother is gone on top of everything else….

Her eye slowly open and she smiles lazily. 

“Hi, beautiful,” he whispers to her as he runs his fingers through her hair again.  She tries to move and winces in pain. 

“What do you need, doll?” 

She tries to talk and is surprised when there’s no sound. She furrows her brow and looks up at him pleadingly. Bucky knows he’s going to have to try and guess what she’s after.

“Are you thirsty?”

She shakes her head no.

“Cold”

No.

“Do you hurt?”

She nods slowly and puts her hand over her belly. If somebody stabbed Bucky in the heart right now it wouldn’t hurt near as bad as this does. 

“Bad?” He asks. 

She partially closes her eyes and shakes her head no. She reaches up for his face and he leans into her touch. She tries to speak again, but her voice cracks. He grabs the drink and holds it for her while she gulps down whatever is in the cup. 

“Bucky,” she finally manages to say. She takes his hand and pulls on him trying to get him closer. 

“There’s not enough room, doll. I’m too big to get in with you,” he tries to explain. There are tears in her eyes now and Bucky wants to die. She tugs on his hands again, harder this time. He’s sure that even in her weakened state if she wanted to she could pull him over on top of her. And that’s all she wants, is to have him near. Goddammit, he loves her so much and there’s got to be a way to do this…

“Okay, beautiful, okay. Hang on. I’ll figure out something to make this work so we can cuddle. That’s what you want, right?”

She nods her head yes. 

“Please, Bucky,” she pleads softly. She entwines her fingers with his. 

“Let me call Steve,” he says using his free hand to get to his phone and place the call.

“I’m right outside the door,” Steve says when he answers. 

“I need Bruce -“

“What happened? What’s wrong?” Steve demands racing into the room. Ciara’s eyes widen, she’s startled by Steve bursting into the room like a freight train. 

“Calm down. She wants to be held and I need Bruce because either I take her back to my room with all this equipment or we bring in a bigger bed to keep her here,” Bucky explains. 

Steve looks from Bucky to Ciara and back again. His lips pucker as he tries to come up with something. Ciara tugs on Bucky’s hand again and tries to move closer. She cries out when she does. 

“No, no, Ciara, stay still,” Steve says rushing to her and standing alongside Bucky.

“Easy, baby, easy. It’s okay, we’ll figure this out. I’m right here,” Bucky says trying to soothe her. Steve goes to find Bruce. Ciara is still trying to find a way to shimmy closer to Bucky even though he keeps begging her to be still. 

“You’re defiant, you know that?” He asks after about the third or fourth try to get her to stop. She’s in obvious pain. He lowers the bar on the bed and sits down carefully next to her. He wipes the stray tears from her cheek and cradles her face. She feels like she’s burning up. 

“Steve’s going to get Bruce to see what we can do. I  _ promise _ we’ll do something, either the bigger bed in here or we’re going back to my room. I’m not going anywhere, Ciara, I promise, okay? Before the night is over I will be in a bed next to you holding you,” he vows. 

“Please don’t leave me.”

The pain in her voice is so raw it renders him speechless for a second.

“Never again, Ciara. Never again. I will never leave you again.”

Steve comes back a few minutes later with Bruce.

“That won’t work,” Bruce is telling Steve. Steve’s not having it. 

“It will,” Steve tells him flatly. Bruce looks at him in exasperation.

“You’re as bad as those two. Is it the serum that makes you three like this? Is it asshole inducing?” 

Steve’s jaw drops, Bucky is stunned and for some reason, Ciara is giggling. 

“We’ll make it work,” Bucky says finally. “Either a big enough bed for the two of us in here or she comes back to my room and we take the machines with us.”

Bruce heaves a sigh. 

“I’m calling Stark and telling him we need an asshole antidote,” he mutters. 

“You need a nap,” Steve says calmly to Bruce. Bruce rolls his eyes. 

“She’s better off in here. We have the equipment and things necessary to help her. If you insist on doing this nonsense the room across from this one is empty. You won’t fit a king bed in there. You’ll be lucky to get a queen in there with just enough room to get around one side of the bed. There are no railings for that bed so if she rolls off the bed -“

“She won’t. I’m not letting her go, Bruce. That’s the whole purpose behind this,” Bucky tries to explain. “I want to hold her and she wants to be held.”

“I think there’s an empty room that’s got a queen in it,” Steve says thoughtfully. 

“It’s going to be a squeeze,” Bruce warns them. “We can take her off the oxygen since she’s awake and talking -“

“Hi,” Ciara says to him and smiles. Bucky smirks.

“If you can get the bed in here, we’ll get the equipment set up around it as best we can. Don’t make me regret this,” Bruce says tiredly. 

“You won’t,” Bucky promises. “Thank you.”

“I’ll see if Sam can help with the bed and we’ll get it set up,” Steve offers. Bucky nods in agreement. 

“While I’m in here can I check your sutures?” Bruce asks Ciara. She looks confused. 

“Sutures?”

“The morphine is wearing off,” Bruce says mostly to himself. “You don’t remember much, do you?”

Ciara looks to Bucky, she’s confused and scared. 

“Ciara...the baby…” Bucky struggles with the words to tell her. Ciara’s eyes darken and her hand goes to her belly. 

“I know,” she says quietly. Fresh tears fill her eyes. Bucky takes her hands and kisses them before placing them against his heart. He doesn’t know what to say because there are no words that will convey his anguish for her. 

“Ciara, there were complications. I think you knew that, though, right?” Bruce asks keeping the same gentle tone. She nods her head. The sadness in her eyes cuts Bucky so deeply. He’d sell his soul to take that pain from her. 

“Can I see? Is it okay if Bucky sees?” Bruce asks. She looks at Bucky.

“Do you want to see?” She asks tiredly. 

“Yeah.” 

Bruce pulls the blanket down and points to the door to shut it. Bucky lets her go briefly to close the door and comes back to take her hands. Bruce lifts her gown and exposes her. That only upsets Bucky for a second. Seeing the incision site, the staples in her abdomen, the massive amount of bruising…

“Buck? Bucky? James!” Bruce barks and grabs him by the arm. Ciara is squeezing his hands and looking worried. 

“I’m alright. I’m alright,” he says not entirely sure if he’s being truthful or not. 

“Sit down,” Bruce orders and points to the chair. Bucky makes a face and Ciara shakes her head at him then nods towards the chair. Buck slumps down in the chair like a spoiled child. 

“You’re healing fine, but it’s not going to be pretty and it’s going to hurt. What’s your pain level right now on a scale of one to ten?” Bruce asks Ciara, ignoring Bucky’s tantrum. 

“Eight. I think. I’m thirsty. Can he come back over now?”

Bucky gives Bruce a smug look and gets up. Bruce covers Ciara back up and hands her the nearly empty cup. 

“I’ll have Samantha bring you more. Water? Or do you want to try something like Gatorade?”

“Gatorade,” Bucky answers for her. “If she’s that thirsty she needs to put back what she’s lost.”

“Agreed. Ciara?”

She shrugs and reaches for Bucky’s hands. He sits cautiously on the edge of the bed again as Bruce vacates to get her something to drink.

“Will you try and eat something before he gives you more of that goddamn morphine, doll? Please? Steve is across the way putting the bed together with Sam now. We’ll get moved after you eat,” he says hoping to coax her into eating something. 

“Soup?”

“Name it, doll, and I’ll get it.”

She smiles. 

“You’ll eat too?”

“No.”

“Double standard bullshit,” she mumbles and lets go of his hands. 

“No you don’t,” he says taking her hands back. “I’ll eat if you do. All I want is to get comfortable with you, Ciara. And apologize for -“

“Stop,” she says taking her hands and rubbing her eyes like a small child. The pain portion of the drugs has worn off but not the doping effects it seems. 

“Ciara,” he says trying again. 

“Stop. I’ll eat if you do.”

Bruce comes back with an even bigger cup this time. It’s like the 7-Eleven Big Gulp size. 

“Do you know what you want to eat?” Bruce asks as he hands her the cup. Her hands are shaking and Bucky holds it steady for her while she inhales the Gatorade. 

“Soup,” she says when she decides to stop and breathe.

“Soup. Preference?” Bruce asks. She shrugs and goes back to drinking. Bruce opens the door and yells down the hall for Samantha to grab another Gatorade and some water. 

“Is this normal? She drinks like a fish after she’s been hurt,” Bucky tells Bruce. Bruce cocks his head to the side for a moment and looks at Ciara who couldn’t give two shits about anything but the contents of the cup right now.

“It’s how the serum works in her, I think. It’s different for all three of you. Steve eats like he’s got a tapeworm, and you do too, but you also drink a lot. She’s just thirsty. She’s gone through several bags of fluid, but if this is what her body wants….”

“That and soup. I’m open to suggestions,” Bucky says. Ciara’s eyes are starting to drift shut again. “Preferably before you dope her up again and before she falls asleep.”

“We’ve got Campbell’s chicken noodle or Campbell’s chicken and stars,” Bruce says with a grin. Bucky makes a popping noise with his mouth and Ciara giggles tiredly. 

“Noodles?” He asks Ciara. She nods. He’s pretty sure she doesn’t care. She’s drained the Big Gulp finally and is looking for more. Bruce fills it again with more Gatorade. 

“She’s catheterized. Don’t worry,” Bruce tells him. Bucky must have had a look on his face that gave him away. “I’ll get the noodles. You’ll get most, Buck. I just want her to have the broth for now.”

Bucky nods. He can see the staff moving the equipment into the other room as Bruce leaves. Steve walks in a moment later looking pleased with himself. 

“Bed’s set up. They’re moving stuff over now. How are you feeling, kiddo?” He asks.

“Tired.”

“She’s a little more lucid right now,” Steve muses. 

“Not for long. He’s going to dope her up again. Her abdomen, Steve...I...oh my god,” Bucky groans. Ciara stops drinking and tilts her head a little to look at them. 

“It’s not pretty,” she tells Steve. Steve shakes his head.

“You’ll heal. You just need to rest. Let Bucky take care of you. Okay?” Steve tells her and gives her his grand champion grin. Buck drags his hand down his face. He loathes that grin. It’s such a shit eating grin.

“I hate it when you do that,” He says. Steve shrugs. 

“I hate it when you bottle yourself up.”

“Touché, pussycat,” Ciara says and then laughs till she winces in pain. 

By the end of the night Ciara is passed out in the bigger bed, her head partially on Bucky’s shoulder, and her fingers entwined with his. She has the sweetest smile on her face and Bucky knows - he  _ knows _ \- it’s because she’s next to him and she’s happy. Tomorrow that may change when the morphine wears off and Bruce refuses to give her anything that strong, but for now she is happy and it’s this moment that Bucky cherishes. 

  
  
  



	76. Talk To Me, That's All I Want

Ciara wakes up in excruciating pain and is totally disoriented. What the fuck happened? Why does she feel like her insides were gutted, burned and then put back? Why is she sleeping next to Bucky?

The last question makes her freeze. Why is she in the same bed as the man who walked away from her? The events of the preceding days slowly start to come into focus. 

Bucky had walked away from her, he didn’t love her anymore. 

She had left to go find the Dark Knight, but Gabe had found her first.

Gabe.

She had killed her own brother to save him from Cordova. He had died by her hand. Gabe is gone. 

But there’s more...fragmented pieces of memory just out of reach of clarity. 

Bucky stirs in his sleep muttering Russian words of endearment to god only knows who.

She puts her hand over her belly and is hit with searing pain. 

The baby.

More memories open up. Sitting on the floor in the hunting cabin and realizing it wasn’t butterflies she was feeling, it was the little one growing way too rapidly inside her. Gabe begging her to let Steve and Bucky take care of her and the baby. Gabe asking her if she….if she loved Bucky….

Tears well up in Ciara’s eyes as she remembers the broken conversation with her brother and his pleas to let them take care of her. She remembers Steve and Bucky and Clint trying to get her out of the cabin because time was against them - against her - with the baby. She remembers the little redhead coming into the room and the others running from her. 

Wanda. 

Wanda had coaxed her out of the cabin. Wanda  held her bloody hand on the jet and told Ciara about Pietro and how she understood Ciara’s loss like no one else could. Wanda had offered to be her friend and had put her head on Ciara’s shoulder like a little sister…

She remembers waking up and Natasha telling her to be calm and Wanda telling her not to panic. There was blood everywhere...the baby….

The memories are getting hazier now. She vaguely remembers being scooped up by Bucky. They’re running and he’s telling her to hold on over and over. For some reason, the clearest memory is the scent of his skin where her face was pressed into his neck. He’s always smelled great, a scent that can both calm and excite depending on the circumstances. 

She looks over at him now. He’s still asleep, quieter now, no more Russian murmurings. She catches his scent and it does things to her brain. Chemical reactions that would make a halogen collider look boring. 

But he left her. He stopped talking to her. He stopped touching her. He fucking started sleeping on the goddamn couch. 

She looks away from him, the pain in her abdomen dulled considerably by the pain in her heart. What the fuck is he doing in bed with her??

She closes her eyes and tries to remember what happened next. Things are a jumbled blur now. Steve smiling stupidly. Bruce and Tony bickering over something. Pain, pain and more pain. Bucky’s face hovering over hers, fear and concern in his blue eyes. Bucky promising he would never leave her again. Bucky arguing with Bruce over a bed….

She opens her eyes and looks around the room, her eyes settling on Bucky’s sleeping form. He made them put a bigger bed in the infirmary because she wanted to be held and Bucky made it happen. He never left her side. He argued with Bruce about it until Bruce gave up. Bucky had helped her eat some of that stupidly salty soup Bruce had given them. He’d helped sponge bathe her (she’s so embarrassed by this memory right now). He’d moved her with the utmost delicacy from the old bed into this one and then positioned himself so he could hold her….

He had apologized a thousand times or more as he held her and she played with his fingers until she fell asleep. He had held her and had he cried? She’s sure he had wept through some of his apologies. Bucky made good on his promise and made Bruce accommodate a bigger bed so he could hold her, which is all Ciara had wanted. She remembers that now. 

Bucky’s eyes open and he jumps a little when he sees her watching him intently. 

“Ciara? What’s wrong, doll? What do you need? I’ll get Bruce.”

“I think you’ve annoyed that man enough.”

“I haven’t annoyed him...wait...you’re lucid? Coherent?” He asks sounding surprised. She raises her eyebrows in mild amusement. 

“Should I not be?”

“He doped you up pretty good yesterday. You were out of it even when you were awake,” Bucky says softly. He sounds apologetic still. 

“I hurt. I’m guessing the drugs wore off. You made him put the bed in here?”

“You asked me not to go...I promised...Jesus Christ, Ciara, I never meant to hurt you. I never...I didn’t know what to do...I just…” 

He’s crying so hard now he can’t speak. Ciara knows he’s broken and she believes him that he’s sorry. She can’t stand to see him like this. 

“Stop, Bucky,” she says softly. She takes his hand in hers and tugs on him. “Come here.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he sobs. 

“Don’t touch anything below the breast line and you’ll be fine.”

He moves closer to her being overly careful not to jostle the bed or bump into her. He puts his head on her chest and tucks his metal arm between them. She taps on his arm and he uncurls it, allowing her to position it so she’s able to hold his hand. The feel of the metal is cooling and welcome. 

“You’re burning up, Ciara,” Bucky says sitting up. “Holy hell,” he says placing his right hand on her brow. He shakes his head. “Where’s the fucking call button?”

“Bucky, I’m alright. I think,” she says. She’s honestly not entirely sure and the pain right now is at max overload. 

“No, Ciara, you are not,” he says pressing the button a hundred times before he stops. “I could roast a fucking turkey on you. How bad is the pain?”

“Vomit worthy.”

“Shit,” he groans. “Will you let me look at your incision, doll?” 

“Incision?” She’s confused. “What incision?”

Bucky takes a deep breath and exhales very slowly. The baby. Oh god they had to cut her open…

“The baby...the baby had the umbilical cord wrapped around its throat, Ciara, and panicked inside you. The baby tried to claw its way out and in doing so tore you up and strangled itself.  Bruce had to do the caesarean to get the baby out...I’m sorry, angel...I am so sorry we lost the baby…”

His eyes well up with tears again. Ciara looks at her stomach. Her lips twitch.

“I think I knew what was happening, Bucky. I just...everything fucking happened at once and I’m going to throw up so get something quick.”

Bucky grabs the trash can just in time for Ciara’s purge. Two nurses come in and Bucky orders them to find Bruce. The vomiting pulls on her abdomen which makes the pain worse which makes her throw up more and now she’s in tears because goddammit why the hell not?

She hears water running and then feels a cool, damp towel at the back of her neck and Bucky’s body next to hers trying to find a way to hold her and calm her. 

“Easy, baby, easy,” he whispers. “Try and relax. I know it hurts.” 

His voice is soothing, the cold towel is helping, now all she needs is to stop being sick. 

“What happened? Get me some phenergan,” Ciara hears Bruce order. 

“She’s on fire and in pain. I know you said no morphine -“

“No more more morphine, Buck. I can’t risk her getting addicted. I’ll give her pain medication, but it won’t be an opioid,” Bruce explains. 

A nurse comes back and Ciara feels Bruce take the arm with the IV in it. She feels something cold going into her vein. Bucky moves the cold towel and gently guides her to lean against him. Bruce takes the trash can from her and gives it to the nurse to dispose of. 

“Scale of one to ten, Ciara, where is your pain at?” Bruce asks.

“Forty.”

“I’ll get you something for that. Don’t move too much. I want to look at your incision...does she remember now?” Bruce asks Bucky. 

“I told her,” he replies sullenly. She can hear the remorse in his tone. 

“I’ll be right back,” Bruce says and then heads from the room. 

“It’s not your fault, Bucky.”

“It is -“

“How? How is what happened with the baby and Gabe your fault?”

“If I had been there…” he chokes up again. 

“We’re stupid, Bucky. You and I have the combined intelligence of a goddamn box of rocks.”

This makes him chuckle and inadvertently shake her a little. She whines in pain.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

He puts his head on her shoulder and heaves a shaky sigh. 

“I love you, Ciara. I never stopped. I never will. Please forgive me,” he whispers. 

“Why wouldn’t you talk to me?” She asks softly. Bucky lifts his head. 

“I didn’t know how to. I still don’t. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to help you cope with all this, angel. I want to. I need to, but I just...I’ve failed you and I don’t know how to fix it -“

“Bucky, talk to me. That’s all I wanted. That’s all I needed. I’m scared, I’m hurt and I need you. You are all I have left,” she says through her tears. Bucky moves like lightning and is in front of her in an instant, his hands cradling her face. 

“I promise I will work on that. I will work on all of it. I don’t want to lose you.”

His words carry weight, and his eyes speak volumes. He means every word he says. 

“I have the pain medicine - am I interrupting?” Bruce asks as he charges into the room. 

“No. I’m just renewing my devotion to her,” Bucky says and then gives Ciara that half grin she adores so much. 

“Uh huh. Okay, well, this will definitely knock you out, Ciara, which isn’t a bad thing. You need to rest.”

“I need a shower.”

“Not until I see how the sutures look,” Bruce responds sternly. 

Ciara glares at him. Bruce smiles and Bucky takes Ciara by the chin and shakes his head.

“It’s not pretty, Ciara,” Bucky says sadly. 

“Don’t look?” She suggests. He studies her for a moment, the grin slowly creeping back onto his lips.

“Wiseass.”

Bucky moves so Ciara can lean back and let Bruce hover over her incisions. When he pulls up the gown both Bruce and Bucky have awed looks on their faces. 

“What?” She asks trying to see what the hell has them looking like that.

“That’s...that’s…” Bruce stammers.

“Fucking impressive,” Bucky says, his voice matching the awed look on his face. 

“I swear to Christ if someone doesn’t tell me what the hell you two are gawking at…”

“Let me take your temperature,” Bruce says, “I want to see if there’s a correlation. One-o-one point four. Not great, but not bad considering how warm to the touch you are.

Ciara looks at Bucky waiting for an answer. 

“You were so bruised yesterday, doll, it was like this black mass and your incision site was really red. It’s better. Like a lot better,” Bucky says trying to explain. 

“Can I have the pain meds and take a goddamn shower?” She asks haughtily. 

“Yeah...shower first, though, so you don’t fall,” Bruce says absently. 

“I won’t fall.”

“She won’t fall,” Bucky says and smirks.

“No sex,” Bruce says quickly.  Bucky’s smile falters. 

“Guess he won’t be joining me,” Ciara mutters. Bucky gives her a hurt look.

“Really? I’m joining you regardless, Ciara,” Bucky says sounding offended. 

“No fighting or I’ll separate you two,” Bruce warns. Ciara and Bucky give Bruce a cold look. He shakes his head no at them letting them know he’s not bluffing. 

“We aren’t fighting,” Bucky states. 

The door opens and everyone starts to yell. 

“Knock goddammit!” Bucky bellows kicking the door shut.

“Knock!” Ciara yells. 

“Jesus Christ! I’m sorry!” Steve yells back from the other side of the door.

“Well that’s just fucking grand. Now Steve knows what the fuck my vag looks like,” Ciara gripes. 

“I didn’t look!” Steve yells through the door.

Bucky looks at Ciara and shakes his head.

“You know damn well you did,” Bucky says leaning against the door, that shit eating grin on his face. 

“I DID NOT!”

“Asshole serum,” Bruce mumbles. Ciara snorts. Bruce gives her a very unamused look. 

“Does the carpet match the drapes, Stevie?” Bucky asks through the door still trying to egg Steve on.

“I swear to god, Barnes, I will kick your ass up between your goddamn eyeballs -“

“Language!” Bruce yells at Steve. Ciara hears Steve do a murderous sounding growl and she starts to laugh and then tries to stop when her abdomen screams in pain at her.  

“I didn’t look! Ciara! I didn't intentionally look!” Steve yells through the door. Bruce was about to say something when Steve fired off that bit of stupidity which Bucky finds incredibly funny and has left Bruce momentarily speechless. 

“Did he say he didn’t intentionally look?” Ciara questions. “Because that sounds like he saw everything.”

“Hey, kid,” Bucky says through the door, continuing to instigate Steve, “we all know you saw. So do the drapes match the carpet?”

“If Steve kicks in that door and beats the everloving shit out of Bucky I’m not stopping him,” Bruce states calmly as he pulls the covers back over Ciara’s lower half. 

“She’s shaved, there is no goddamn carpet! There! Are you happy now! Jesus Christ!” Steve fumes. 

“Your’s is only the third one he’s seen,” Bucky says with a smirk. 

“When you walk out that door you’re mine, asshole,” Steve promises. 

“James Buchanan Barnes, leave him alone,” Ciara chides. 

“Ha! Full name usage. Serves you right, shithead,” Steve grouses. 

“No,” Bruce says wagging his finger at Bucky when Bucky opens his mouth to say some other snarky thing to Steve.  Bucky growls and heads back to Ciara’s side, crawling onto the bed with the utmost care. 

“You can come in, Steve,” Ciara says. The door slowly opens and Steve hesitantly peaks inside.

“I’m sorry I saw you like that -”

“Stop. It was an accident. Bucky won’t let you live it down, but I’m alright. Just promise you’ll knock the next time.”

  
  



	77. The Return of General Gwinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those of you hoping for a happy ending, do not read any further. There is no happy ending here. Continue with the remaining chapters at your own risk.

General Suzette Gwinner sits at her desk watching the live video feed, her hands clasped under her chin, a stern look on her face. She’s been given new orders. No more bullshit with Cordova. They were just using him to see what would happen - a pawn of their own design. But now the orders have come down - too much has been accessed, too much is at stake and too much has been lost and Director Fury has powerful connections of his own that are now sniffing and barking at things that are best left to the professionals. 

General Gwinner picks up her secured line. 

“Get me Manuel Cordova. Bring him here post haste.”

She puts the phone back down and folds her hands neatly under her chin again. Her beady black eyes watching the screen intently. They want all traces of the project scrapped and Suzette has been given the cleanup detail. 

She picks up her secured line again. 

“Get me Doctor Bloodstone,” she orders. There is a moment of silence and then she hears the line begin to ring. 

“Suzette.”

Bloodstone doesn’t care what rank anyone is, she answers only to herself and that is why Suzette Gwinner is so fond of the woman.

“Delilah. It’s time for spring cleaning.”

There’s laughter on the other end of the line that makes Suzette smile viciously. Bloodstone enjoys her job just as much as Suzette does. 

“I was wondering when it would come to this. Is he here yet?”

“Negative, but he is en route.”

“Fabulous. I have just the ticket. What of the others?”

“Easily baited and lured here. That is a non-issue.”

“I see. You’re actually concerned that DarkHeart will fail?” More laughter. “You should know better than that.”

“DarkHeart and Dark Knight need to be operational effective immediately,” Suzette states calmly. 

“The Knight is just awaiting its final destination. DarkHeart will be ready to go once the commands are given.”

“Who else knows the commands, Delilah?”

“You. Me. DarkHeart, and only to obey,” Delilah answers sounding very pleased. 

“Good. And the disengage commands?”

“Also just the three of us.”

“And this will work?” Suzette persists. 

“Oh, ye of little faith. I am not that cockup Van Doran or your pet cunt licker Cordova. I can actually do the things you ask, Suzette,” the woman purrs sinisterly. 

“Mind yourself, Delilah. Your gifts are far reaching but your head can still be severed from the rest of your body.”

“Not if we clean up the mess the others left, Suzette. DarkHeart will take care of everything.”

“I expect that to be the case. I will be seeing you soon, Delilah.”

“I look forward to it, Suzette,” the other woman sings and then hangs up. Suzette smiles warmly and puts the phone down. Her office line buzzes. 

“Yes?”

“Major Cordova has just arrived.”

Suzette’s smile broadens. 

“Get the BlackHawk ready. Major Cordova and I will be going for a ride momentarily.”

General Gwinner silences the intercom before the subordinate officer can reply. She closes and locks her desk using the electromagnetic biosecurity installed and gets up slowly. She walks with slow measured steps to the area where Cordova is impatiently waiting on her. 

He’s sitting in his wheelchair holding the oxygen mask to his face. His skin is yellow now, most likely from jaundice. Karmic retribution at its finest. 

“General,” he rasps when he sees her. He does an attempted salute that fails epically. 

“As you were,” she says blandly. At least he’s remembering his place in the chain of command here. 

“The BlackHawk is ready to go, General.”

Cordova eyes her curiously. General Gwinner nods towards the door and two officers escort Major Cordova and herself to the waiting chopper. 

“Where are we going?” Cordova finally asks once they’re aboard and airborne.

“I have something I want to show you,” she replies easily. He’s about to ask her to elaborate but she silences him with a look. She taps the radio operator on the shoulder and nods her head. The young officer makes the call announcing they are en route and their ETA is less than thirty minutes. General Gwinner sits back and listens to the drone of the powerful chopper as they head for their destination. 

They arrive right on schedule and are greeted by a swarm of armed officers. To look at them they look like Romanian military, but that’s just Bloodstone’s personal preference on attire. 

“General...where are we?” Cordova chokes. 

“She is expecting you, General. This way, please,” one of Bloodstone’s officers says upon approaching them. Gwinner ignores Cordova’s question for the time being. The officers surround Gwinner and Cordova as they escort them inside. She can see this makes Cordova extremely nervous. He’s sweating profusely now. 

They take the freight elevator down to the lowest level, into the catacombs of the underground facility. 

“Welcome, Suzette,” the lanky raven-haired doctor says once the elevator doors open. The color drains from Cordova’s face entirely. 

“I take it you recognize Doctor Delilah Bloodstone,” Suzette says calmly. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Cordova demands. 

“All will be made clear momentarily,” Delilah assures him. Cordova has no say in the matter, no means of getting away. He’s surrounded not only by the few military personnel Gwinner has brought along, but there’s an entire fleet of armed persons at Bloodstone’s disposal here and Suzette is enjoying the harrowing look on Cordova’s face so much it’s almost orgasmic.

They walk deeper into the catacombs and come to a secured vault door. Delilah does the entire biometric scan thrice as per the protocols that were set up when the base was handed over to her. The doors open and they step inside. 

Cordova gasps for air.

“It...can’t….be…” he wheezes. 

“Oh, it can and it is. Say hello to Project DarkHeart, Major Cordova,” Delilah says sweetly. Gwinner extends her open hand to the nearest officer who places a loaded pistol with silencer into her hand. 

“And now say goodbye,” Gwinner says releasing the safety. 

“Tsk, tsk, Suzette. Allow me to handle this,” Delilah says playfully. “Escort the Major to the room on the far left. Relieve him of his oxygen tank. No need for unnecessary explosions,” she orders. Her officers swarm Cordova, removing the oxygen tank and setting it aside before wheeling his protesting form to the designated area. 

“Care to watch, Suzette. They are so  _ fascinating! _ ” 

“I’ve seen them in action, Delilah, but if you insist -”

“Oh I do,” she purrs leading Suzette to her private office followed by a few of her remaining officers and the couple that Suzette brought with her. She pours a drink for them each and hands Suzette a frosted glass. 

“To spring clean up,” Suzette says as they toast. Delilah smiles proudly and turns on the closed-circuit TVs. 

Cordova is in the center of the room locked away, yelling for help and screaming every imaginable obscenity at Suzette. 

“So crass and rude,” Delilah tuts. She presses a button and panels on the bottom of each wall slide up. There is silence now, Cordova having run out of air to curse her with. Then a low sound begins to build and build like a pained howl from a wounded animal, but several times over. That’s when Cordova screams. Delilah smiles fiendishly as the living remnants of the children they’d tried to breed crawl through the panel openings. They smell the fear of the fresh meat and it sends the little monsters into a blood frenzy. The only sound that can be heard now is that of Cordova choking on his own blood. 

Delilah flips the TV’s off. 

“What is our next step?” she asks and takes a long sip of her drink. 

“Bait the trap and wait,” Suzette answers simply. 

“Do tell, my dear, who is the bait?” Delilah says sitting on the counter so close to Suzette she’s nearly touching her. Suzette puts her hand on Delilah’s exposed thigh and runs her hand up the woman’s leg. She sets her drink down and forces Delilah’s legs open causing the woman to moan in anticipation. 

“Always underdressed, Delilah,” Suzette scolds. She licks her fingers and sends them after Delilah’s hot cunt. “We’ll use her now deceased brother. Where she goes the others will follow, like sheep to the slaughter.”

“God! I love it when you talk dirty!” Delilah moans as Suzette continues to finger fuck her. 

“And if we only get rid of the one, we’ll still be able to wrap everything into a nice neat bow and file it away under the letter N for  _ never happened _ ,” Suzette continues. Delilah moans loudly and Suzette buries her face into Delilah’s hot cunt to enjoy the fruits of her labors for the day thus far.

  
  



	78. The Shit Hits The Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, be warned, there is no happy ending. If you're looking for bliss this isn't the story for you.

It’s been almost two weeks since Bruce gave Ciara the clearance to leave infirmary and to go back to regular exercise. He has yet to clear her for missions and Bucky has flat out refused to leave her side until Bruce does so. Fury has had just about enough of the chicanery with Sergeant Barnes and Agent Sorano. Cordova has gone missing. No one has seen or heard from him which has everyone on edge. The brother Cordova had mutated is deceased. Ciara is with them and has not left the compound. Who else is out there that would and could make Cordova vanish? 

Fury runs through the intel again trying to uncover the missing piece to what the hell is happening here. Something big is about to open up and he needs to make sure they put a lid on it before it boils the fuck over. 

Maria walks into the room and Fury barely notices. 

“Sir,” she says cautiously. Fury looks up. 

“We just received this. This...this isn’t good, Sir.”

Based on her hesitancy and the look of concern on Hill’s face Fury braces for what’s to come. 

“What is it?” he asks.

“Video message, Sir.”

“From?”

Hill tries to speak but words seem to have failed her. 

“Agent Hill,” he says calmly as he places his palms on the desk, “who is it from?”

“Ciara’s brother. Gabriel Townsend.”

Fury doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t even breathe. There’s been a mistake. Maria saw someone who looked like the brother or someone who claims to be the brother or….

“Is this an old message?” Fury asks knowing damn well it isn’t. 

“No, Sir. The video feed is timestamped and it has not been tampered with. And, the brother…”

“Go on.”

“He’s normal, Sir.”

Fury licks his teeth. So much for the fucking lid. This shit just boiled over and now his only hope is to keep everything from catching on fucking fire. 

“Key it up,” he orders. Maria does as she’s told and in a matter of moments the feed is playing before his eye. 

“Please...to whoever sees this….send help! I’m being held hostage by someone and they want my sister...I don’t know…” There’s a flash of someone’s fist flying across the screen belting the young man in the mouth, blood splatters from the side of his face. 

“Read it the right way,” a garbled voice in the background orders. The young man’s lip has already begun to swell and discolor from the force of the punch. 

“They will exchange me and Major Manuel Cordova for Ciara Sorano. If this demand is not met intel on SHIELD dealings will be released to the general public. If after such time this demand is still not met, repercussions will be dealt out starting with Nicholas Fury, Clint Barton, Steven Rogers, and records proving that Sergeant James Barnes willfully and knowingly killed countless others will be released. If at that time our demands are still not met...please...stop…”

Another punch, this time from the other side of the screen. This one hard enough that it makes the young man’s eyes roll up showing only the whites. 

“Read. It.” 

The Townsend boy spits out a mouthful of blood, tears fall from his eyes as he starts to read again.

“If at that time our demands are still not met any remaining intel on the Avengers, the Avengers Initiative, the incident in Sokovia resulting from SHIELD abuse of power, and the imminent demise of any and all Avengers members will come to pass. We will release a nerve toxin in the New York subways from a canister labeled from Stark Industries. Several more will be released in designated areas around the globe. The choice is yours…”

“Where the fuck did this come from, Hill?” Fury demands angrily. Not only are they baiting Fury with the welfare of his entire team, but they have threatened to frame Stark for countless murders and bring any good that Fury has managed to salvage from SHIELD crashing down in a firestorm. 

“There were coordinates attached to the video, Sir. I think...Sir, this is a trap -”

“I’m aware. Get the others. They need to see this shit. Tell Bruce to make sure he’s prepared to sedate all three of the soldiers in case somebody decides to flip shit.”

“You’re referring to Ciara?”

Fury touches his index finger to his nose then points to Maria. 

 


	79. Caught In The Spider's Web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Warning. Do not proceed if you are expecting this to end with sunshine and smiles. There will be no happy ending.

Clint sits next to Natasha as they fly the QuinJet to their destination. The rest of the team is behind them. No one speaks. The world seems to have gone sullenly and quiet around them. 

They had seen Gabe in the video message. Her brother. Her  _ actual _ brother. Not the monstrosity she had killed trying to remove this microchip from….

Ciara had naturally flown off the deep end and threatened to kill them all if they didn’t let her go get Gabe. Bucky had sided with her, because they now share not just their soul but a brain. Steve wanted to go because he’s all about rescuing everyone. Sam wanted to go because Steve was going. Wanda and Vision are going...Clint has no goddamn idea why. He’s going because he has this incredibly uneasy feeling that the whole intention of that video was to get Ciara to go crazy and in doing so would bring the rest of them with her. Fury recognized this, warning them that this was a trap, but there’s more to it. Had they cloned the brother? Was that what that thing was Ciara had killed? That thing she thought was her brother? What if this is an elaborate hoax? What if the imagery has been manipulated to  _ look _ like her brother? Maria said there was no evidence of tampering, though, and the date on the video was only a few days ago. 

Ciara can’t see what’s happening because her concern is rescuing her brother and Clint is sure that under that mission is the insatiable desire to get to Cordova and make him suffer. She can’t see anything else. Forest for the trees type shit. 

He sees Natasha look back behind her and then look at him. She’s worried. Not just worried, she’s scared. She should be. Knowing you’re flying into a trap is one thing. Knowing you’re flying into a trap with no fucking idea of what they’ll be facing is something else entirely. 

Ciara is about one letter away from reactor overload right now. She’ll take Bucky with her because he’s that fucking devoted to her. It still pulls at his heart to think she’d chosen Buck over him, but it hurts more to think that she’s going blindly into something she has to know is a fucking setup of the grandest proportions...and he doesn’t know how to stop her or how to save her. Losing her means they lose Bucky. Losing Bucky means they lose Steve. Losing Steve means they lose Natasha. It’s the domino effect, with no one knowing how far out the spiral goes. 

They land a little over two hours later at an abandoned airbase. Clint drags his hand over his face and inhales deeply before getting up.

“Before we all go running in here half cocked looking to blow up this half of the planet maybe we should think this through -” 

“You think it through, Archer. I’m going after my brother,” Ciara cuts him off. She’s already at the bay door waiting impatiently for it to open. 

Steve gives them their orders, they separate and head off towards the coordinates. Clint’s uneasiness continues to grow and grow. 

They flank the outside of the facility that the coordinates list. Everyone reports back the same thing - no movement, no one to be seen, the place looks empty. Sam takes to the air and is immediately shot down. 

“Find cover!” Steve barks at them as he runs after Sam. Shots are now being fired at them from behind forcing them closer to the facility. Whoever this is they  _ want _ the Avengers inside. They have no choice but to head towards uncertain death now. 

Natasha and Clint get split up just as they get inside. The place is a labyrinth of moving walls and sliding doors. The comms are full of static, keeping them out of communication with everyone else. 

There’s an endless supply of armed personnel here and they’re all gunning for the team. Clint can hear guns being fired almost nonstop. He can hear the yells of his teammates as he fights through trying to find Ciara. She’s the key. They want her and he’s got to find a way to protect her because Buck won’t be able to do it himself. Not at this rate. Not when they’ve anticipated all of them showing up. If they separated he and Nat than it’s likely the others have been separated, too. Which means Bucky and Ciara are now at Defcon Five. 

Clint hears Ciara howling in pain. She’s hurt. He runs toward the sound. He hopes and prays Buck is with her. He hopes and prays they get her brother - if that really was him. He hopes and prays they all make it out of this alive. 

He sees Ciara is down and surrounded by armed men. He runs across the railing as the mechanical door begins to close. He jumps the landings and runs faster than he’s ever run in his life, dropping to his knees and bending himself back to slide under the door just before it closes. 

Clint is now in the middle of a massive shit storm. 

Bucky is down, he’s been shot. Ciara is on her knees next to him. The cry Clint heard from her must have been when Bucky was hit. The guns are trained on the three of them and there are so many large, powerful laser weapons that there’s not a snowball’s chance in Hell somebody won’t get hit. Somebody already has, if we’re being honest. 

“Welcome to Erebus,” a voice says from behind the armed men. Clint watches as they step aside while still keeping their eyes and weapons trained on the three of them. A short, stout woman appears with beady black eyes. She’s a U.S. General based on the insignia ranks on her uniform. 

“Who are you?” Clint demands. 

“The cleanup crew. We have orders to resolve this situation,” she replies without giving him a glance. She’s looking at Bucky like she’s studying him. Not Ciara...Bucky. 

“Welcome home, Number Nine,” she says finally looking at Ciara. “It’s a shame you won’t be around for long.”

“You touch her and I’ll kill you,” Bucky seethes. The stout woman cocks her head to the side and smiles coldly. 

“Doctor Bloodstone,” she calls. A lanky female emerges from behind a couple of the soldiers, a sinister look on her face. 

“Ah, Number Nine,” she purrs. “Our only survivor.”

“What the hell are you talking about,” Ciara snarls. The two women look at each other and the smiles they exchange will haunt Clint for the rest of his life. 

“Did you know she’s a clone, Sergeant Barnes?” Bloodstone asks sweetly. “Did you know you’ve been fucking a copy all this time?”

The sheer malice in Bloodstone’s question keeps the three of them quiet. 

“What are you talking about?” Clint finally asks. “A clone? The clones failed -”

“Oh, but did they? Did they really?” Bloodstone asks. 

“One did not. Number Nine. We grew her from the arm we had to amputate from the original. I’m sure you remember them breaking her arm, Agent Barton. You were witness to them beating her, were you not?” 

Clint feels the bile rise up in his throat and has to will himself to keep from gagging. 

“I’m not a fucking clone,” Ciara spits. The two women chuckle like it’s a cute little joke. 

“She’s not a clone,”  Bucky fumes, refusing to believe any other possibility. 

“Are you certain? How sure are you? You who can’t even remember your handler from Hydra,” the stout woman says mocking Bucky. Bucky’s eyes widen in horror and disbelief. 

“No…” Bucky mutters. 

“Oh, but yes. Where you failed, DarkHeart has succeeded.”

“The babies...no….I’m not a goddamn clone!” Ciara roars. 

“No? Breeding the clones causes the mutations, Number Nine. We never tested it on your genetic benefactor. The idea of mating her with The Winter Soldier would have been ideal had Ciara been fertile. It seems a full hysterectomy was done before we ever laid eyes on her. Such a shame. Which brings us to you, Number Nine. You’re nothing more than a copy. A successful, albeit expendable copy of the original.” Bloodstone is nearly giddy with the revelation to them. 

“Where is Gabe?!” Ciara demands. Clint is still trying to piece all of this together. There are two...but….is the one next to Bucky the real one or the one that these two witches have the real one? 

“Shall we show them?” Bloodstone asks sweetly. The stout woman nods. 

“ _ Soldat!”  _ Bloodstone barks and then she speaks Russian, “Viper. Mamba. Echo. Winter. Halo. Zulu.”

The soldiers step aside and Clint’s soul leaves his body. Emerging from the shadows is Ciara. Another Ciara. Her right arm is metal from the bicep down. Her eyes are vacant, her head is shaved….

“Are you ready to comply?” the stout woman asks.

_ “ _ _ готов подчиниться,” _ Ciara responds.  _ Ready to comply _ . 

“I am not a clone!” the Ciara on the floor screams and then lunges at for Bloodstone. 

“Shoot the imposter,” the stout woman orders. A soldier hands the DarkHeart a pistol and the Ciara Clint and Bucky came in with is now on the floor, a bullet wound to her head. The DarkHeart Ciara didn’t even blink when she pulled the trigger. 

“CIARA!” Clint and Bucky roar together. 

“You should have never tried to break free, Sergeant Barnes. I had such high hopes for you,” the stout woman muses and then sighs. 

“Finish it, Suzette,” Bloodstone says excitedly. “Finish it.”

“What have you done?!” Bucky cries. 

“Care to elaborate?” Suzette asks Bloodstone. Clint is in shock, his mind is trying to vacate his body because it cannot handle the amount of insane shit happening right now. 

“Yes, indeed,” Bloodstone all but squeals. “This,” she says motioning to Ciara, “is your Ciara. The one you met when Cordova decided to start taking hostages. That was his mistake. He should have shot her and the brother like he did the other two. In choosing to keep them he opened Pandora’s box. We were inside that box, Agent Barton.”

“Van Doran worked as a double agent. Cordova thought he was SHIELD, but didn’t realize he worked for me,” Suzette says continuing. 

“You betrayed your country for Hydra?” Bucky fumes. “You killed the woman I love -”

“Oh, she isn’t dead, you just refuse to accept the reality of the situation, Sergeant Barnes. This is Ciara. Do you recognize this?” Bloodstone asks raising DarkHeart Ciara’s shirt and exposing the three scars by her belly. Clint didn’t know about the scars but based on the look on Bucky’s face he did. 

“Check your friend on the floor,” Suzette orders. Bucky can’t move.

“Soldat, shoot Agent Barton if Sergeant Barnes does not comply,” Bloodstone commands. DarkHeart Ciara raises her weapon and aims straight for Clint’s head. 

“Buck…”

“Oh my god….” Bucky whimpers. He pulls open Ciara’s flak jacket and then her shirt. There are no scars. Just the remnants of the incision site from the emergency cesarean. 

“What have you done? Let her go...please…” Bucky pleads helplessly. The real Ciara is the one with the weapon and the vacant eyes in front of them. They’ve all been had and Bucky was played the hardest. 

“Soon,” Suzette promises with a dangerous smile. “Shoot Sergeant Barnes. Fatal wound, bleed him out,” she orders. Bloodstone is literally jumping up and down in anticipation for this now. DarkHeart Ciara draws and fires on Bucky hitting him once in the stomach and the second time in the lung. Bucky collapses to the floor gasping for air.

“YOU FUCKING WHORE!” Clint raves and tries to go aid Bucky. He’s forcibly stopped by the other soldiers, 

“Pay attention, you two,” Suzette says calmly. “Give the order, Delilah.”

Clint watches in horror as the Dark Knight apparatus emerges from Delilah’s lab coat. 

“Soldat. Blue-eyed Buck,” Delilah says merrily. The vacant look in DarkHeart Ciara’s eyes vanishes. 

_ “BUCKY!” _ she cries falling to her knees in front of him and trying to stop the bleeding. “Oh god no, please, please, no! Help him!” she yells at the other two women. 

“It’s amazing what a lobotomy and some electroshock will do to make a willing subject comply. If you want to save him, you have to go back and stop it before it starts,” Suzette tells her. She takes the Dark Knight from Bloodstone and dangles it in front of Ciara’s face. 

“What? What the hell do you mean go back?” Clint demands, but he knows. He knows what she wants Ciara to do. He can hear the others banging on the sealed door trying to find a way in.

“Time is running out, DarkHeart. Your friend will die unless you go back. Fix the error.”

Ciara takes the device from Suzette’s hands. Clint lunges for the first guard and tries to fight them, tries to get them down, but there are too many of them.

“Subdue him,” Suzette orders calmly. Clint is brought to his knees and restrained in short order. 

“He’s dying. You have one chance. I suggest you take it,” Bloodstone tells Ciara. Ciara looks at Clint and then back at Bucky.

“Don’t...don’t...go…” Bucky pants. Ciara’s eyes well up with tears. She looks at her right hand and takes his left hand in hers. 

“Forgive me. All I ever wanted was to love you,” she says softly as the tears fall. 

“Ciara! Don’t!” Clint begs. Ciara puts the device on her wrist, Clint hears the whir of the gears as the device comes to life. She looks at Bucky one last time.

“I love you,” she says and then presses the button. There’s a vacuum of silence all around them and then Ciara vanishes.

 


	80. Coming Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end?

Bucky walks past a couple of gorgeous dames who smile and blush when he grins at them. He’ll have to find them later. He watches them as they walk away and directs his attention to what’s headed right for him. A dame running full throttle right at him, looking behind her at someone or something. She crashes into him so hard she nearly falls over backward. He catches her to keep her from falling on her ass and then keeps her in his arms. She’s got the most amazing stormy gray eyes. 

“Hey easy, doll. Easy. Where’s the fire?” he asks smoothly. She blinks a few times. She’s about to say something when people begin to scream. There’s the sound of a gun going off and then this beautiful dame goes limp in his arms, a bloodstain spreading over jacket and dress. Bucky looks and sees the gunman. It’s her! It’s the girl in his arms, but it isn’t her because she looks so different, but the eyes are the same and Jesus Christ what the hell is happening here??

“Forgive me,” the girl with the gun says and Bucky sees tears in her eyes as her body begins to fade away into nothingness. 

And he was due to ship out tomorrow….

 


End file.
